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No to Nature

It’s no secret – I don’t do nature.  It’s as simple as that.  There are things out there on the other side of the door that I don’t want touching me.  I’m a spoiled pig in that aspect.  I can admit that.  I’ve never been except in crossing from the mini pig mobile to the house when going on a field trip.  I’ve never spent the night ‘outside’.  I don’t even like the way the grass feels on my hooves. 

Do you understand – I don’t do nature.  I’m house trained – why do I really need to go out ‘there’?  And let alone, the luxuries of my bedroom are not in nature – you know like my bed, my television and the magical food box in the kitchen.

 And just to make another point about nature.  Did you know that there are slithery things out there?  I know – I was shocked too!  I thought my back yard held things like the pollen bunny, mysterious unicorns and beautiful butterflies.  I learned this weekend that there is creepy crawly things in that back yard that are not so nice.

We have a wonderful neighbor – he acts like Mr. Rogers 🙂 – who cuts our yard for us.  He is so sweet and nice to do this and we really, REALLY appreciate that.  He let us know that he found a….a…. are you ready for this… a SNAKE in the back yard.  Oh gracious shivers to mergatroid piggy faint.  What happened to the butterflies and unicorns in the back yard?  I’m not sure which one of us hit the floor first – me or mom.  She just doesn’t do snakes.  In fact, I heard her tell Big Daddy next door that unless it has four legs and fur, it doesn’t need to be in the back yard.  I kind of feel the same way.

See, if I was out in nature in the back yard, I would have come snout to wiggly tongue to that thing.  OOOHHH yucky.  Just another thing to add to my list of why I don’t go outside in nature. 

XOXO – still quivering with fear Bacon

 

 

 
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Posted by on 04/28/2013 in Uncategorized

 

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