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31 Days of Spook – The Wood Pile Devil

Welcome my friends to the first day of my 31 Days of Spook!  We love this time of year here at the Hotel Thompson.  It’s one of my busiest months trying to keep all of you my friends in blogville just at the right amount of teeth chattering, sitting on the edge and being scared of your own shadow.  I hope that you stay with me all month and enjoy my 31 Days of Spook.  Today, I start off my tales from a special scary story from my brother Easy.  What exactly was seen that can not be unseen in the middle of the night?  Read the story to find out and be sure to let Easy know your thoughts.  Now, lock the doors and shut the windows… you might even want to turn on a light – boo!

It happened many moons ago to the boyfriend of my mommas friend. That boyfriend had a granny who lived in a small village behind the 7 mountains near Nowheresville. Every year in Shocktober, the people there celebrated a kind of a harvest festival, called Kirmes.  That year, the guy invited his girlfriend and my momma to visit that fest and his granny agreed to let them stay over night.

They celebrated with the people of the small village and the booze ran like the Niagara Falls. After they were well filled, my mom and her friend walked to the home of that granny, placed the empty popcorn buckets next to their bed and fell asleep, while the boyfriend found no end and was glued to the beer-fountain.

In the early morning, they woke up by flashing lights and hullaballoo in front of the house. It was caused by the boyfriend who called the police…

BECAUSE:

As he went home plastered like the yellow brick road, he saw a movement next to a wood pile on the yard of his granny. And he swore by the sun and the moon and the stars and by all brewsky of slice earth that he saw the face of the devil what peeked around that wood pile. He could describe every part of the devilish face and he gave the pawlice all details that they could make a fabulous composite sketch.

Butt the pawlice was eggstremely farouche and they refused to start a dragnet operation. They brought no dogs and hey refused to pulverize the woodpile with machine guns and silver bullets nor would they throw grenades on that pile – Come on pawlice! That’s denial of assistance in an emergency case… and hey, that’s YOUR CHANCE to save the world from the evil.

Sadly the pawlice wasn’t keen to earn endless fame and famousness and after some dingy comments about barflies and drunkards they left the crime scene.  And that pawlice actually had the nerve to send a bill for the pawlice operation… 170 bucks… for nothing.


Yes, I know… if more alcohol than blood runs in our veins, it happens that we see “things”… but this guy was scared to death and he was sober with fear immediately. And also the next day he swore that he saw His Diabolic Majesty in the furs… and even as my mom met him by chance some years later, he told her the same story… and he swore again that he saw the devil….

We don’t know what or whom this guy saw that night, but with his detailed description I made an identikit, just in case you walk home once from a harvest festival …
VIOLA… here we have it …

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What Goes Up Must Come Down

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Let’s all remember a very important thing in life.  What goes up, must come down.  It’s hard life lesson to learn.  Remember a while back and I was talking about the leak at the Hotel Thompson and having to call a contractor to look at the roof?  Well, we found out what caused the leak.  You might just be as surprised as we were.  Are you sitting down?  It was a bullet.  Let’s just leave it at WTP (What the Pig?!)  I can’t repeat what daddy said when he was told.  Apparently, someone thought it would be just fun and giggles to shoot a gun up in the air.  Thus, what goes up, must come down.  This is so very dangerous!  And the bullet came down on our house and caused a leak right over where daddy sits and watches television.  Do you know how frightened we all were when we learned this?  And, our neighborhood is not bad – it was just one of those times where people thought they would celebrate by shooting up in the sky, probably around New Years or the Fourth of July.  We can’t pinpoint exactly when it happened but once is enough okay.

I know this picture above looks like a horrid roof but it’s only 10 years old and was ‘suppose’ to be a 20 year roof.  One thing is that we live in the south and moisture will always be a problem here.  It gets muggy and yuck in the Summer – I’m not a big fan of that season.  I prefer cooler months, you?

Well, the contractor spoke to mom about what she wanted as to replace everything.  Of course, daddy laughed and said mommy has what did he say – expensive tastes.  But then again mommy said she wanted what she wanted the end of discussion – snorts – way to go mommy for putting her hoove down.  So everything was ordered and dad coughed up the checkbook.

A couple of days later, two pallets of 30 YEAR shingles architectural design showed up along with ridge material, felt and massive piles of wood for the new decking.  I in my little piggy life have never seen so much action in the front of the Hotel Thompson when the big truck unloaded all of this.  I just stood in front of the storm door and watched in amazement.  The ‘beeping’ of the big truck backing up was was hilarious.  I tried backing up and snorting but it didn’t seem the same.

Then the next day, this HUGE big metal box like thingy was dropped off in our driveway.  Mommy had to move the cars so they could get it there.  It was massive and empty.  It looked kind of mysterious but mom said to watch and see the next day to find out what it was.

Finally the third day early in the morning, it seemed like an entire village showed up at the Hotel Thompson.  There were so many people and I wanted to watch.  Dad locked the storm door so I could sit in front of it and watch.  It was amazing!  Daddy said they were going to ‘raise the roof”.  I didn’t understand that then until I watched all.day.long.

20130716-101756.jpg  And when I say all.day.long, I mean from 9AM until 6PM that night.  When mommy came home from the worky place, this is what she came home to.  Insert angelic music here – it was astonishing.  What a difference!  Mommy says that it makes the house seem so much bigger.  I personally think that it makes the house look entirely different.

But of course, she wasn’t home during the day when the ‘village’ was working on the roof.  Honestly, it sounded like a herd of elephants tap dancing on the roof.  And I admit, it scared me the first couple of times when they sent the shingles up the ladder and dropped them on the roof… or when they scraped all of the old roof off into the dumpster thingy… or when they pulled up all of the old decking and then replaced it.  I might have squealed a couple of times and ran to my room… but I wasn’t scared.  I’m a big pig.  Now the purr things – that’s another story.  They were scared.  They went straight to mom/dad’s room and hung out under the bed all day.  I think I saw them come out maybe a couple of times while the work was taking place.

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But it was a long day.  In fact, when mommy came home, daddy actually told her ‘he’ had a headache.  I found this strange because mommy is usually the one telling daddy that.  Daddy said he especially had a headache when he coughed up the checkbook again for the final payment.  Poor daddy.

But doesn’t it look fantastic?  And mom, she’s already talking about siding around the front eaves of the house, taking down the Mickey Mouses (oh no!) and doing the sides with siding.  Daddy just rolled his eyes and gave her the checkbook.  Isn’t he trained? snorts.

 
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Posted by on 07/24/2013 in Bacon

 

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