Bacon’s Show and Tell

Welcome my friends to my Bacon’s Show and Tell.  Today we are discussing embarrassing moments from childhood.  Trust me.  I have a good one to share today.  I thought long and hard and have to tell you about my daddy.  Snorts – yep poor dad. Are you ready for this?  Here we go.

When dad was a small boy – I’m going to say around 6-7 years young, his mom took him shopping with her at a local store.  This store had big tall windows all across the front of the store.  Daddy and his mom was in the store shopping for a long time and finally got to the front registers overlooking the windows.  Daddy told his mom that he needed to go to the bathroom and he was jumping all around – you know like some little boys do.  So his mom told him to go out front and wait for her there.  You know back in the day when you could actually do that with no worries that someone might take your child.

So there daddy was in front of the store and his mom was waiting patiently in line to buy her items.  That’s when it happened.  What do you ask.  Well there were snickers, then rolls of laughter and then came the pointing outside the front window.  You see, there was the cute little boy that was standing outside peeing.  Not just peeing straight into a puddle.  Oh no, that wouldn’t be my daddy.  My daddy was outside peeing on the front windows and making designs with his pee.  Shaking my piggy head.  Yep, his mother was so proud.

His mom quickly paid for her purchases, stomped outside and without missing a beat picked daddy up under her arms and continued to the car.  All the time…. daddy was continuing to pee freely in the air.  Well, he did tell her that he needed to go to the bathroom, right?

 

Bacon’s Tales of Terror

Welcome my friends to my monthly Bacon’s Tales of Terror.  Usually I have this posting on the 13th of the month but it got a little delayed with the holiday.  Hope all of you had a sweet and loving Valentine’s Day.  But now, let’s talk about something opposite of sweet and loving.  Let’s talk about scary and horror shall we?

It’s winter time outside.  We’ve all experienced the weather – the cold – the snow – the rain.  The non-stop up and down of the weather.  Hot one day.  Mild the next day.  Cold and wet the next day.  All of this which causes us to be sick and stuck in bed.

So there you are one evening, stuck in bed being sick.  You’re coughing and sniffling and perhaps drinking some orange juice.  Anything to make you feel at least one bit more of a human.  Then it happens.  With the storm outside brewing up, the electricity goes off.  All is now quiet and dark.  But you’re okay.  You’re tucked away all warm in your cocoon of blankets in your nice comfy bed.

Then the rain starts up.  The gentle swish at first but then the winds come in to play.  Now you hear the tap-tap-tap against your bedroom windows and on your sliding glass door that overlooks your secluded backyard.  But hey you’re fine all tucked in your bed.

The winds get stronger.  The rain gets louder.  The thunder comes out play.  You hear scratching at your sliding glass door.  But it’s okay you tell yourself.  It’s probably the rain and maybe a little sleet is mixed up with everything.  You shrug your shoulders, blow your nose and get more comfortable.  But the scratching noise gets more persistent with the storm.  But it’s still okay with you because at this point in your life in being this sick, death would be welcome you joke.  You finally fall asleep.

You awake the next morning feeling somewhat better, not as congested and the storms have passed.  You sit straight up in your bed, stretch and look out your sliding glass doors.  What do you see?  Hand marks coming down from the top like in this picture.  You remember all of the scratching noises from the night before that you thought was the rain and/or sleet.  Was someone trying to get in?  Did they see you laying in your bed?  What do you do my friends?  What do you do?

 

Texts from Bacon

Sometimes the texts between me and mom are innocent and fun and sometimes they mean trouble.  They don’t start out as trouble.  They start out me thinking something is great.  But then I learn it might not be so great from mom. Daddy watches me during the day or maybe I should say dad is suppose to be watching me during the day.  Cause you know what mom says – “A bored pig is a pig in trouble.”  Well, you be the judge of that.  I was just having some fun.  Heck my cousin Sammy has great times with tents.  I just wanted to try it out.  My texts are in blue and mom’s are in gray.  Let me know what you think – was I trouble or just exploring?

 

 

 

10 Signs You’re Watching the ID Channel Too Much

Okay I admit it.  I’m addicted.  I’m addicted to the ID channel.  You know – investigative discovery.  It could be a worse.  I could have a gambling problem.  I could have a money problem.  I could be addicted to the ladies.  Nope – I’m addicted to Investigative Discovery.  I can’t help it.

Behind Mansion Walls, Disappeared , Catch My Killer, Dateline, Nightmare Next Door, On the Case with Paula Zahn, Homicide Hunter, Redrum, Swamp Murders, Southern Fried Homicide – these are just a few of the shows that get my piggy blood pumping!

Some people ask what is in my Netflix que or recorded to tape on my television – now you know.  I love a good who did it show.  I put on my Sherlock Holmes hat, get out my Columbo cigar, my pencil and notebook.  Yep, I’m addicted.  Do you know else is addicted right there with me?  Nods head up and down, yep my mommy.

Daddy says we watch too many of these shows.  I don’t think so.  I look at it as an educational research program for me and mom.  It keeps us on our hooves and toes.  But I guess I can admit there are times when maybe – and I stress that maybe – we are watching too much.  You be the judge.

10 Signs You’re Watching the ID Channel Too Much

1.  After watching the ID channel, you double check and then TRIPLE check to make sure all of your locks are set on every door and window in the house.

2.  You find yourself screaming at the television, “Don’t do it!”; “Turn around!”; “Don’t open the closet door!”; “Don’t get in the car!”; or my favorite, “Are you crazy!?!”  and mom’s favorite, “Has she seriously not called the cops yet?!”

3.  You’ve thought about doing a background check on your significant other because you just never know who you’ve married.

4.  When your spouse brings you a drink without asking, you automatically want to switch glasses with them just in case.

5.  When going on vacation, the first thing you ask is, “Do you have the ID channel?” followed by “What about free WifI?”

6.  When passing a hitch hiker, you just know in your mind’s eye that he has a hatchet or some sort of torture device in his back pack.

7.  When at a restaurant and the table next to you asks to borrow your salt shaker, you give them EVERYTHING on your table because you know people have been killed for less.

8.  When a friend asks you to ‘go for a ride’ and doesn’t tell you where ya’ll are going, you call everyone in front of him to let them know who you are with, start the recording device on your Smart phone and leave bread crumbs as a trail to find you…. just in case.

9.  You’re friends give you a surprise birthday party and the first thing you do when the lights come on and everyone yells surprise is take cover behind the sofa in a fetal position.

10.  Just the sound of any of the shows on the ID channel sends chills up and down your spine and you begin to wonder how the show is going to end this time.

Tell me my friends that I’m not the only one addicted to a channel that you just can’t get enough of…. please 🙂