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Possible “Beach” Time?

Now, understand that my mom has a really drawn out southern accent.  I had to do several double takes when she said, “Possible Beach Time”.  I thought I was going to have to make her put several quarters in the swear jar.  That is until dad said it.  It was a close call for this little pig.  I thought she had finally went over that fine line of insanity… which she says is a close line – snort oink.

I think it would absolutely be a wonderful thing to dip these hooves into the ocean waters and walk on the sand.  There’s just one problem though.  I don’t do nature.  eeww – there’s no telling what little creatures would be hiding out at the beach – like seaweed, stingy fish and fish for that matter. 

 

Seriously, I would not mind the destressing of being a beach pig, lying in the sun and playing in the water.  That could be fun – minus nature.   Heck that would be a hoot.  You know…. the original bacon in the sun.  Then again if I got too hot, we could have a problem Houston.  Everyone would come searching the bacon smell and I could be in trouble.

 

But just think of the beautiful sand castles that me, mom/dad could make at the beach.  My snout is a wicked tool and I could help.  You know, come up with some art like this –

Me + Beach = NOT happening.  So we need to start thinking of who is going to watch this little, sweet, precious, snuggble piggy in October when mom/dad go on vacation.  Any takers – snort.  I don’t require much.  Heck, I practically take care of myself.  I just require a few things:

  • WiFi access
  • Laptop or iPad
  • Television
  • Netflix
  • Unlimited access to the magical kingdom called a kitchen
  • My own bathroom facilities
  • Snuggy time
  • Toddler bed
  • Nightly turn down service with a bedtime story
  • Room service
  • Maid to clean said room
  • Massage therapy

See, it’s not much.  Any takers?  XOXO – Bacon

 

 
11 Comments

Posted by on 05/10/2013 in Bacon

 

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