Now, understand that my mom has a really drawn out southern accent. I had to do several double takes when she said, “Possible Beach Time”. I thought I was going to have to make her put several quarters in the swear jar. That is until dad said it. It was a close call for this little pig. I thought she had finally went over that fine line of insanity… which she says is a close line – snort oink.
I think it would absolutely be a wonderful thing to dip these hooves into the ocean waters and walk on the sand. There’s just one problem though. I don’t do nature. eeww – there’s no telling what little creatures would be hiding out at the beach – like seaweed, stingy fish and fish for that matter.
Seriously, I would not mind the destressing of being a beach pig, lying in the sun and playing in the water. That could be fun – minus nature. Heck that would be a hoot. You know…. the original bacon in the sun. Then again if I got too hot, we could have a problem Houston. Everyone would come searching the bacon smell and I could be in trouble.
But just think of the beautiful sand castles that me, mom/dad could make at the beach. My snout is a wicked tool and I could help. You know, come up with some art like this –
Me + Beach = NOT happening. So we need to start thinking of who is going to watch this little, sweet, precious, snuggble piggy in October when mom/dad go on vacation. Any takers – snort. I don’t require much. Heck, I practically take care of myself. I just require a few things:
- Laptop or iPad
- Unlimited access to the magical kingdom called a kitchen
- My own bathroom facilities
- Snuggy time
- Toddler bed
- Nightly turn down service with a bedtime story
- Room service
- Maid to clean said room
- Massage therapy
See, it’s not much. Any takers? XOXO – Bacon