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Dear Bacon

20140717-072721-26841429.jpg Dear Bacon,  HELP!  I lost my favorite squeaky ducky.  I ❤ that ducky.  He’s my bestie in the entire world.  I haven’t been able to find him for hours.  What’s a dog to do?  I can’t sleep without him.  Can you help me find him?  Signed Lost Ducky

Dear Lost Ducky,  Uuumm.  Smile really BIG and open your mouth.  Did anything fall out?  There you go.  Lost ducky found my friend.  You two make a great team.  Go Ya’ll!

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Dear Bacon,  Can you please explain to us WHY there is *always* a longer line at the women’s restrooms.  We don’t get it.  We always have to wait while the men’s line seems to keep moving.  Can you help us out?  Signed Waiting Patiently but With Legs Crossed

Dear Waiting Patiently but With Legs Crossed,  That is a dilemma my friends.  I hear my mom talking about this all of the time.  She says it’s because women have more to do.  Not in a bad way, but ya’ll do.  That’s what makes ya’ll special.  Might I suggest when no one is looking, run to the men’s room.  Hey, if there’s no line there, why wait, right? And remember – ya’ll are beautiful!

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20140717-072720-26840174.jpgDear Bacon,  Really?  Why does my humans think this picture is hilarious?  They couldn’t stop laughing.  I don’t get it.  I saw this paci thingy fall from the smaller human so I bit it to see what it is all about.  Then my humans started laughing and snapped this picture.  I don’t get it.  This stupid paci does nothing for me like it does the small crying human.  Signed Pugneck

Dear Pugneck,  Wait a minute my friend.  I need to put down my paper sack that was breathing in after seeing that picture.  So let me understand this.  You’re okay with the picture being taken.  You’re confusion falls into what exactly the paci thingy does for the crying miniature human.  Good one.  Yep, that’s where your concern should be.  You see, small miniature humans depend on those things to calm them.  It may not have that effect on say – the likes of you.  But on the other paw, it does amuse and “calm” humans to see you trying it out…. heck, it amuses me for that matter too my friend. Snorts.

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 Dear Bacon, There I was sitting on the sofa, enjoying my cup of java, fresh out of the shower and watching Maury Povich on the television.  I was minding my own business.  Then walks in the cable guy and snaps this picture of me on his cell phone.  WTD?!  Don’t we have any privacy in our own home anymore?  Next thing I knew, the cable man had tweeted this out to all his friends.  Talk about an invasion of privacy.  The nerve!  Signed Dog of Leisure

Dear Dog of Leisure, WOW – the cable man got to your house that early?  That in itself is amazing brother.  I can’t believe that.  A cable man that actually shows up FIRST thing in the morning?  WOW – I’m amazed at that.  It took the cable man two weeks and four hours to show up here at the Hotel Thompson for our last upgrade.  Astonishing.  Oh, I’m sorry.  You had a problem about the picture being tweeted.  Here’s what you do.  Under the tweet, tweet that the cable man actually showed up FIRST thing in the morning.  He’ll be trashed by other cable men for letting them down in his accuracy.  You just wait – stay strong and carry on!

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20140717-072720-26840371.jpgDear Bacon,  my humans will suffer the consequences of this get up on me.  The disgust.  The nerve.  The humiliation.  Oh dear Lord, help me out buddy.  Signed Not Amused

Dear Not Amused,  Well at least it has your seal of not being amused – snorts.  I’m sorry.  I shouldn’t joke in a time like this.  I would clap for your approval but I don’t think you could do that for me.  I gotta ask though.  Is there a drop pouch for potty breaks?  If not, someone is going to have some cleaning up on aisle three to do – double snorts.  Hey, I’m joking.  I’m sorry little buddy.  You do look cute though.  Not many pooches could carry that one.  Wear it with pride.  That’s it.  And hey, if the seal isn’t broken, don’t fix it.

Remember my friends, Dear Bacon can’t happen without YOU.  Keep sending me your questions and pictures to baconthompson@gmail.com

 
29 Comments

Posted by on 08/12/2014 in Bacon, Dear Bacon

 

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Hotel Thompson Accomodations

Sometimes the funniest things happen here at the Hotel Thompson.  Sometimes they are just too good to pass up.  It’s taken me all week to get myself together to post this blog.  Let me start at the beginning shall we.

On Friday nights, it’s not unusual for us to stay up late here and watch television shows… especially b-rated movies.  Rolls piggy eyes – sometimes those are so hilarious to watch.  Mom and dad usually let me stay up late with them until I get too tired.  This past Friday night was no exception.

We all stayed up until around 2AM.  Hard to believe my humans can stay up that late isn’t it?  Snorts.  We all got ready in our separate beds in our separate rooms.  Just about the time our heads touched the pillows, we were asleep.

Then around 3:30AM, it started.  Mouse Girl and Hemi, the two purr things here at the Hotel Thompson, thought it was an ideal time to sing to their people.  They were in the hallway where the acoustics are the best.  They sung and it echoed.  They sung and it still echoed.  Neither one of them have done this in sometime.  But it woke me up first.  So I do what I do best.  I started squealing.  Mom and dad thought I was joining in but I wasn’t.  I was telling the Purr Choir to shut it up because I need my beauty sleep.  But they didn’t.

They then woke up mom and dad.  Of course they played rock, paper or scissors to see which one would get up out of their comfy cozy bed to put a stop to the live orchestra.  Daddy loss – snorts.  He broke up the duo, gave them a treat and went back to bed.

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Maybe thirty minutes later, Hemi decided to join them in bed.  He does this every night so it’s no big deal.  Hemi climbs up between mom and dad, settles in and snuggles to sleep.  But nope, not this night.  He was W.I.R.E.D.  I don’t know what he got into but he was jumping off mom, dad, the nightstands and the television stand.  Shakes piggy head.  So guess who got banished from the bedroom?  Yep, Hemi.

They thought then that everything was good and they could settle.  That’s when Mouse Girl tag teamed into the bedroom.  She has nerve after all of this to do her share of trouble.  She went into the bedroom and proceeded to knock everything off of the television stand and nightstands.  She got the wrath of mom and also got banished from the bedroom.

You would think that poor mom and dad had enough.  They did get a couple of hours asleep.  Then around 6:30AM something unnatural woke them both up.  Something we haven’t heard all Winter.  Something that sounds so beautiful – normally – but at the butt crack of dawn was like fingernails on a chalkboard.  There was a cute little bird that was right outside their bedroom window singing like there was no tomorrow.

I heard daddy ask mommy, “What kind of insane bird chirps before daylight?”  Mom’s reply, “A dead one.”  Snorts.  Of course she wouldn’t harm that little tweet bird.  But, it was a hilarious for this little piggy to hear.  I wonder if they will go to bed late tonight?  I got $20.00 on the birdy before dawn – you?  Snorts

 
31 Comments

Posted by on 04/04/2014 in Bacon, Hemi and Mouse Girl

 

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Snorticles –

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Sometimes I find the funniest things on line when I’m surfing the net late at night. Some people have some really great imaginations. I’m not sure who came up with some of these, but they are hilarious. And with me loving commercials, I could place some of the innuendo’s and some of them mom had to explain to me.

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This cat reminds me of Hemi here at the Hotel Thompson. I’ve seen Hemi do this exact some pose here in front of the fireplace. You know, like he just can’t do another thing because he’s either (A) so tired or (B) so stressed. I mean really, what does he have to be stressed about? He can quit being tired if he would quit chasing this little pig around the Hotel Thompson and slapping my behinny. I’m just saying – PLOL (pig laughing out loud) . This little pig is made for LOVING not for slapping the hindquarters. Those extra digits hurt.

 

 

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And this one I just snorted over and over. I got the meaning of this one really quick because I ‘used’ to tweet. It took too much time away from my wonderful friends here. And we all know that my friends here come first.

If it wasn’t for you, I would be a lonely little pig on line. And hey, they haven’t made a Pig Harmony yet that I can sign up for – snorticles.

Have a great Saturday my friends.

Hogs and Snout Kisses – Bacon

m

P.S. these pictures were found on they Internet.

 
17 Comments

Posted by on 06/23/2013 in Bacon

 

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