Dear Bacon

Dear Panchetta,
I am an artist!  Do not think twice of me on my drinking.  It inspires my inner soul.  I would like to paint you – all of you since you are a plus size piggy.  Would you pose for me?  Signed Raphael Chickatello

Dear Raphael Chickatello,

WOW – I am honored… I think.  I really don’t think that I am old enough to pose in any of your paintings.  I think you should move on to maybe cows.  That’s it – cows.  I think cows should be your muse.  They are so much more to work with than just me… a little pig.  Carry on my friend and paint to your hearts content.

 

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Dear Bacon,
Insert spy music.  The humans think they are so smart in putting out these ‘traps’.  They hurt!  But never fear, this is how we really get the cheese without setting them off.  Now you know our secrets!  Signed Top Mouse

Dear Top Mouse,

I love that move!  I wonder if there is enough wire to suspend me over something delicious.  It looks like a hoot!  You definitely have the moves my friend.  Keep it up my secret friend!

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Dear Bacon,
I read about you watching television all of the time. I love to watch my shows too – especially the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. They fascinate me for some reason. Do you like them? Signed Raffie

Dear Raffie,
I just can’t understand why you would like the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. . I mean really, they’re turtles. It blows my mind to figure that one out. And yes, I do like to watch the show as well my friend.

 

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Dear Bacon,

Just the facts little guy.  Nothing but the facts.  We’ve been watching too many repeats of the movies Men in Black.  Don’t ask me which is which.  We just like to dress like Kay and Jay.  You know, just for fun and giggles.  The neighborhood doesn’t know how to act when we roll into it – bark.  What do you think?  Do you like to dress up like any of your favorite guys?  Signed Kay/Jay

Dear Kay and Jay,

Oh dudes – I love the look!  That is so neat.  I’ve seen those movies and ya’ll kind of look just like the two.  I think it’s the ties and sunglasses.  I would love to roam around in my costume too.  I secretly want to be a piggy super hero.  I keep asking mom to make me a cape.  I know with a cape, this little piggy would have special powers and be able to fly.  Stay cool barky things!

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❤ Remember friends – Dear Bacon can’t happen without YOU.  Please continue to email me your letters/pictures ❤

 

Dear Bacon

  Dear Bacon – Help.  Really help.  My humans are now dressing me to look like them.  See the matching socks.  Shakes head and lowers it in shame.  What will my friends think when they see me out for my walk now?  What will the humans do next?  Matching contacts?  Oh dear puppy heavens.  Help.  Signed Socks the Wonder

Dear Socks the Wonder – You know my friend, you need to look at the bright side of this situation. Your feet will always be warm.  Everyone will always know where and who you belong to.  And you are styling.  All good things.  And hey what does it matter what the others say or think?  Your humans love and pamper you and we can *never* get too much of that my friend 🙂

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  Dear Bacon – I don’t get it.  The humans get on this tread machine behind a closed door and get off tired and sweaty.  I’m on this machine.  I’m not tired nor sweaty.  What does it do to them that it’s not doing to me?  I think the humans are putting on.  What do you think?  Signed Relaxed Kitty

Dear Relaxed Kitty – Oh my friend.  I’ve seen this machine in action.  It’s not a pretty vision to behold.  In fact, once my daddy threatened to put me on it.  Shivers – it was a close call.  Thank goodness my mom overheard and stepped into action.  This machine is a monster!  It moves and makes the human chase after it.  If the human doesn’t, the human gets thrown off against the wall.  Humans fear it and we should too!  Maybe in this picture you were the tread machine whisperer?  Yep, that’s got to be it my friend.

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  Dear Bacon –  I don’t get it my friend.  Why do people look at me and laugh?  I’m not funny.  This is actually my serious look.  I’ve been called a lot of things – some even say elf.  Can you imagine that – me a regal purr thing being called an elf?  What are these people thinking?  Can you give me any highlights to why humans laugh?  Signed Dobby

Dear Dobby – Hangs head.  I have to admit my friend.  You asked for help and yes I did chuckle myself.  I am so sorry.  You see, I think it may be because you remind them of someone famous in the movies.  If you get the time over the next couple of weeks, might I suggest you watching the Harry Potter series.  They are actually very good and you may catch some resemblance to one of the characters.  In fact, I’m sure your humans know about the series since they named you Dobby.  Just sayin.  🙂

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Dear Bacon – Really?  My humans took me outside and wanted me to do what?  Run?  Are they hilarious or what?  They threw a ball and expected me to get it.  They threw a Frisbee and expected me to get it.  Heck, I’m not the one that needs the exercise.  I just sat down and rolled around laughing while watching them jog back and forth picking up these items.  Heck I know how to play fetch but they needed the exercise after the holidays – not me.  Barks!  Signed Einstein

Dear Einstein – That’s brilliant my friend.  What a great helper you are to your humans in keeping them in shape and helping them after eating all of that Thanksgiving food.  You are definitely a keeper!

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 Dear Bacon –  There we are all were floating around minding our own business and that’s when it happened.  It was the Ninja Turtles in action fighting for their turf.  What a bunch of thugs I’m telling you.  And talk about fighting dirty in the mud.  WOW – we couldn’t believe it.  And yeah, there might have been some bets being placed on who would win.  What?  We all gotta have some fun, right?  Signed Turtle Throw Down

Dear Turtle Throw Down – WOW – I think I’ve seen everything now my friends.  And it did look like it brought a crowd to your water point in that throw down.  Can you tell me who won? Michaelangelo?  Leonardo? Raphael? Donatello?  Hopefully it was a clean fight with no super powers being brought out.  Keep it clean my friends.

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Remember my friends that Dear Bacon can’t happen without YOU.  Please continue to send your pictures and letters to my email address. 🙂

 

Life Expectancy

 

Saturday Funny!

Remember way back when you used to get up to watch the cartoons on Saturday mornings while you’re parents slept?  Nah?  Shakes piggy head.  I don’t remember either – snorts.  I just hear mommy and daddy say that a lot around the Hotel Thompson.  There’s no cartoons on Saturday mornings anymore.  AND, the Cartoon Network doesn’t show any good cartoons anymore.  Am I right?

So, in honor of the old Saturday morning cartoons – I’m going to attempt to make you chuckle and smile with some jokes.  Are you ready for this?  Here we go:

I saw two dogs walk over to a parking meter.  One said to the other, “How do you like that?  Pay toilets.”

What is the scariest type of dinosaur? A Terror-dactyle

Why did the turtle cross the road? To get to the shell station!

What do you call a blind dinosaur? A Thoughtusawus.

Two caged circus lions break free and corner a clown in his dressing room. One lion says to the other, “Forget it, those things taste funny.”

PLOL (Pig Laughing out Loud).  I hope these gave you a chuckle.  I know they did me.

 

Dear Bacon – Super Hero Special

Recently, I’ve received a lot of mail in the form of Super Hero’s.  I wanted to save them for a special edition of Dear Bacon.  I hope you in blogville enjoy them as much as me and my parents did when we got them.  Snorts – Happy Tuesday!

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Dear Bacon,

We heard about your mission in life on becoming a Super Hero and wanting a cape.  I think me and my brother will start a petition for you.  With enough signatures, I think we can get your mom to get you at least dressed for the occasion.  Super hero powers are something that you are born with.  We’ve read enough of your blog to know that with enough thrust, you can fly.  So, you’re half way there our friend.  Signed Batdog and Robin

Dear Batdog and Robin,

Thanks my friends!  Ya’ll look totally awesome in your outfits.  I am so working on mom for my cape.  I could use all of the help I can get!

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Dear Bacon,

Don’t believe everything you read.  Having a cape isn’t always the best thing in the world.  My humans make me wear this cape and then make me sit in the corner.  Why?  Ask me why piggy?  Because I got so excited with my cape that I might have tinkled on the carpet.  What did they expect?  So, they sat me in the corner with my cape on for time out.  How embarrassing!  Take it from me little guy.  Don’t whizzle with excitement.  Signed Super Tinkle

Dear Super Tinkle,

I’m so sorry my friend.  That look on your face says everything.  At least they could have removed your cape before putting you in time out.  What super hero gets put in time out?  Having a cape is exciting.  I really can’t tell how I will act.  But, thanks for the heads up to contain myself – whizzle and all.

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Dear Bacon,

Be very specific in what you ask for in a cape.  I too always wanted one.  I just should have been a little more specific in the details.  You know like, nothing over my head.  Save that material to cover my goodies.  I mean really.  What super hero is out there with his goodies showing?  I feel like a pervedog.  Help.  Signed Spider Perve

Dear Spider Perve,

WOW – thank you so much my little friend.  I really never thought about specifics in my cape.  You are so right.  I really need to be detailed on what I want in a cape.  Okay – nothing on the piggy head but covering the bottom half – got it.  Yeah, you are so right my friend!

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Dear Bacon,

Okay, I like turtles and I play with them in my back yard.  Yes, I wanted to be a Super Hero.  Where in the world did I go wrong with my parents?  Why would they dress me like a TMNT (Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle) and think that was what I wanted in my Super Hero outfit?  Really?  Learn from me pal, have an open conversation with your humans.  Signed Turtle Dog

 

Dear Turtle Dog,

Does it help that you look cute and adorable?  Okay, maybe that doesn’t help but you do.  Personally, I wouldn’t go for the mask but at least your goodies are covered – snorts.  And hey, the shell on your back could be a good thing.  Just think if you fall, you have the comfort of some padding.  I do appreciate the heads up my friend.

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Dear Bacon,

Just remember, Super Hero’s come in all shapes and sizes – not just dogs and cats.  We can ALL be a Super Hero in some fashion.  My humans got it right in my cape.  It actually gives me just a tad bit of room to grow in.  It’s so roomy that I can move.  That’s important when you are doing your ninja kicks.  I hope you get your cape soon my friend.  Fly with Confidence!  Signed Super Piggy

Dear Super Piggy,

Thanks my friend.  You are so full of confidence and that really inspires me.  It reminds me of an old saying that my mommy says all of the time, “Bloom where you are planted.”  I guess that could mean us anipals as well, huh?  Keep up the great work my little Super Hero.  Hope to see you flying in the skies soon.

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I really hope that you enjoyed this Super Hero Special of Dear Bacon.  I also really want to say thank you to all of my friends and family that send me emails with pictures and questions.  These Dear Bacon issues are by far the highlight of my week.  I put a lot of thought behind my answers and I hope that it shows.  Remember, us anipals have problems too.  If you have something you want to ask, please remember to send it to me at Baconthompson@gmail.com

Have a great one!

 

Dear Bacon

Dear Bacon,
I don’t get it. Everyone looks at me and laughs. I don’t understand why. Can you explain it to me? Signed Inca

Dear Inca,
I don’t know why they laugh at you. Maybe they’re jealous of the wonderful mustache look you have going on which I find fascinating. I think you look simply marvelous my friend. Don’t worry about those people that laugh. You keep on being a dapper little chap.

 

Dear Bacon,
I read about you watching television all of the time. I love to watch my shows too – especially the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. They fascinate me for some reason. Do you like them? Signed Raffie

Dear Raffie,
I just can’t understand why you would like the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. . I mean really, they’re turtles. It blows my mind to figure that one out. And yes, I do like to watch the show as well my friend.

 

Dear Bacon,
You know when you get tired, you get tired. The humans just parked the car and the hood was still warm. I was tired and cold. Put all of that together and boom I took a rest. Don’t hate. I was really comfortable. Signed Rose Bud

Dear Rose Bud,
I’m all with you. One can’t determine when one gets tired and cold. I’m all for it. But take this as some kind advice. Don’t let the humans catch you. They may not like it. Take care.

 

Dear Bacon,
I am a world winner on table tennis. It looks really hard but once you get the hang if it, it really is fun. Are you up for a challenge? Signed Darwin

Dear Darwin,

WOW – you got a mean left swing there my friend. I don’t think I could possibly do as well as you. I’m not a very coordinated pig. You are the man!

 

Dear Bacon,

Do you have that one favorite stuffed animal that you just *have* to sleep with at night? This is teddy and he is my stuffed animal. He always goes everywhere I do. Do you have one? Signed Cutsey

Dear Cutsey,

Aren’t you just adorable with your little friend. Yes, I do have one as well. I think we all do at some point in our lives. Mine is a little stuffed black pig. He’s so quishy. I call him Mini Me. I carry him throughout the house. Mommy has an old Mickey Mouse doll that used to travel with her. She has since retired him but he is still at the house. Happy sleeps my friend!

 

Remember Friends – Keep sending your pictures/questions to me at Baconthompson@gmail.com