Tag Archives: Trump

Dear Bacon

   Dear Bacon – What the cream cheese is going on here?  My master – he gave me this cute little contraption that had me playing with it for hours at a time.  Then one day, a crack in its matter happened.  The next thing I knew, the toy jumped on my face and wrapped around it.  What the heck?  Signed Clash of the Toy

Dear Clash of the Toy – Well, on one hoof my friend you look like a character for the new Star Wars movie.  🙂 That’s gotta be kind of creative and fun right there alone.  Maybe your owner could take you to opening day and show you off – you would probably get lots of cuddles, pets and perhaps some popcorn?  And what do they say… if it fits you must commit – snorts with piggy laughter.


 Dear Bacon – I just want to show you that with the presidential elections coming up, I’m putting my paws out for a front man that I can stand beside.  Someone that just screams my name.  Someone that has maybe a better come over than I do.  Someone that you can mention their name by just looking at me.  What do you say little pig – can we count on your vote?  Signed Make America Great Again

Dear Make America Great Again – You know my friend, I’ve heard of that motto before.  Okay maybe not personally but I’ve heard it on presidential breakdowns from the past.  For some reason, I just don’t think it means the same as what you are making it out to be.  But hey what am I to say, right?  When you stand behind your candidate, you really go all out!

Dear Bacon – I am not amused.  There i said it.  NOT AMUSED. There I was just swimming minding my own business.  Believe it or not, I wasn’t even bothering the humans who were by the way in my water.  I just kept swimming.  Then one of the blokes whose leg I was swimming in/out of had the nerve to reach down and pick me up like I was a mere puppy.  For real?  Doesn’t he have anything to do besides pick on us little folks?  And just as a reminder to him, I will remember his scent.  Cause you know when I get bigger, it might be ME picking him UP out of my waters if you know what I mean.  Signed Bruce

Dear Bruce – I think I would have passed.  I mean really.  You are nearly as long as me and way bigger than the little guy here Houdini.  And you are right.  He was in your waters – in your backyard if you will.  He should have known better.  Don’t take what he did out on all humans.  There are some really good ones out there.  You just go and be nice to peeps okay.  No hard feelings right?

Dear Bacon –  Bath time is always awesome at my crib.  I go back and forth in/out of the tub getting all of my minions lined up around the tub.  Then my mom gets my bubble bath ready.  That’s when I get in the tub and have my meeting with my minions just letting them know how they have been doing and what is expected of them as my ‘toys’.  It’s a great meeting that I highly recommend every couple of weeks – you know to keep everyone in line.  Signed Minion Master

Dear Minion Master – Hey dude, that is an awesome idea.  Having meetings with your toys to let them know what you expect of them.  Brilliance.  I never thought about that.  I think I will put that into plan here at the Hotel Thompson STAT and let my toys know exactly who is in charge and of their play schedule.  Thanks my friend – happy bubble bath!

  Dear Bacon – Sometimes when days get you down and it seems like life is on one continuous downfall, you have to take matters into your own paws.  I had one of those *weeks*.  I went to my favorite bar and told the bartender to hit me with a double shot of leche on the rocks.  Then I sat there and purred my problems out for the guy.  I tell you something oinker – those bartenders, they know how to listen.  After getting it out and off my chest, I felt so much better.  Signed Puss in Boots

Dear Puss in Boots – Hey my friend, sometimes you just gotta let it go – get it off your chest – sing to your people and let things go.  It sounds like you did all of that and you are on the right pathway to enlightenment now.  Don’t keep it in my friend.  That leads to bigger problems down the road.  Now I’m thinking a double shot of leche sounds awesome myself.  Cheers!

REMEMBER my friends.  Dear Bacon can’t happen without YOU.  Please continue to send me your pictures and letters via my email.  


Posted by on 12/15/2015 in Bacon, Dear Bacon


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