Christmas Decorations – tsk tsk Daddy Oh

  Oh boy.  That human daddy of mine just digs himself deeper and deeper this time of year.  Mommy asked him to take out some decorations for Christmas.  Maybe it’s just me but I don’t think the leg lamp is exactly what mommy had in mind.  He tried to fight for it saying that it was a classic and came from the movie, “A Christmas Story“.  He continued by saying that if it was good enough for Ralphie’s dad then it should be good enough for him.  Way to go daddy.  You need a shovel to dig yourself deeper into the hole?

I just bet you that all mom heard was blah, blah, blah and blah. She was patient and she was kind.  She let him make arguments over the said leg lamp.

I don’t know about you but that’s the way moms seem to be.  They get quiet and listen while you dig the hole bigger and bigger.  Just, you know, letting you stumble over yourself.  I watched and tried not to snort because I knew it was coming.  She said, “Listen Ralphie, if I dared you to stick your tongue to the frozen pole, would you do that too because everyone else was doing it?”  She’s good.  The leg lamp was put back in the attic.

But you see, daddy doesn’t learn that easily.  Mom told him to put up the tree while she went out shopping.  For some reason, I just don’t think that this is what mommy was talking about.

Needless to say, mom was out for about an hour.  I know she thought she was going to come home to a tree… just a tad bit bigger than this I’m guessing.

Let’s just say that daddy was batting two for two this weekend.  So, our tree and decorations really didn’t get worked on like I thought they were going to.  And the discussion about actually putting up a tree took place.  Tree or no tree.  Because someone – looking innocently – knocked over the tree last year.  That keeps coming up for some reason.  I don’t get it.  The tree got tired and thirsty so it took a nap.  That’s it.  Really.

 

 

Dear Bacon

Dear Bacon – I’m not sure what happened.  First the human was standing in front of the refrigerator door.  The next thing I knew, the human fell down like that Humpty Dumpty dude.  I have to admit the human made a pretzel look pretty everyday the way they curled up and bounced.  Do your humans ever do anything like this?  Signed I’ll Give That a 10 out of 10

Dear I’ll Give That a 10 out of 10 – First, I wouldn’t be any kind of friend without asking is your human okay?  Did they get back up after their yoga move?  I’m saying yoga move because humans put themselves in all kinds of weird positions when they do that stuff.  In fact, I have to admit that I’m pretty impressed with your move on top of the refrigerator.  What do you call that?  Upward kitty stance?  Just be careful.  I’ve heard that first step off of the refrigerator can be a booger bear – the floor doesn’t give.

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Dear Bacon – This sucks.  Trust me – leave the work stuff to the humans.  Getting up at an ungodly hour is bad enough.  But then the humans have to dress up in these clothes – eeww.  How do they not pee on themselves wearing this stuff?  Signed Help Me!

Dear Help Me!  Oh I know my friend.  I don’t envy mommy going to the work place ever.  First you have to dress up then you have to drive there.  Then apparently you put up with a lot of crap and there are no treats.  What the heck do they work for?  Shaking my head.  Stay at home for as long as you can.

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Dear Bacon – The humans are so fickle.  I hear them talking about this diet stuff all of the time and how they don’t eat and how the scales are nothing but lies and they don’t understand why they are not losing weight.  Breathe.  I know.  I know everything.  You see, I sit here on my perch in the dark at night.  I know why they are not losing any weight.  They are coming into the kitchen at night and eating out of the fridge and cabinets.  Doh – that’s why they are not losing weight.  Do your humans do this?  Signed The Watcher

Dear The Watcher – In a word – YES.  My humans do this too.  Then they yell at the scales at the end of the week.  Hilarious is what I call it.  My mom calls the scales a perpetual liar every week.  Of course, sometimes she doesn’t know that I have my hoof on the back of it – snorts.

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Dear Bacon – You give a child an inch and they take a mile.  I told little Rusty he could play in front of the tree.  What does the little tyke do?  He climbs the tree.  Why do I care?  Because then he started squealing like someone was taking away his honey.  He was stuck and couldn’t get down.  What are we going to do with the children these days?  Signed Mommy Bear

Dear Mommy Bear – You know I feel you but you have to admit that the little guy is cute stuck on the side of the tree there.  Good thing he has those nice long nails to hang into the bark.  Give him a break this time okay.  He’s learning life and he’s still a kid.  Let him be a kid for as long as he can.  Kudos to you being a great mom!

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Remember friends – Dear Bacon can’t happen without YOU.  Please continue sending me your letters and pictures to my email address.  ♥

 

Dear Bacon

 

   Dear Bacon – Every night I get into my giant bed, cover up and the most amazing thing happens after that.  Can you believe that my humans try to get in bed with me?  What is up with that?  Sometimes, I let them sleep with me – of course on their own side.  While other nights, I try to push them off.  I mean after all, this is my bed.  Signed Kittybed

Dear Kittybed – How dare your humans try to get into your bed.  Do they at least make the bed every day for you?  I mean heck you know you should be pampered like that.  And it is awfully nice of you to let them in your bed every once in a while.  I wouldn’t make a habit of it though – snorts.

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  Dear Bacon – I read last week on Paw Time with Houdini that his football exploded all by itself in the living room of the Hotel Thompson.  Oh I can relate to that problem.  See, I was sleeping on the sofa and when I woke up my bed had exploded all over the living room floor.  Honestly, how do we survive these blow ups?  Shaking my head.  It’s hard being a dog.  Signed Bed Blow Up

Dear Bed Blow Up – WOW!  I’m surprised that you survived this blow up my friend.  Look at all of that in your living room.  I would be screaming your name to make sure you were okay.  And perhaps you need to take a sleep study my friend.  If you slept through all of that, you might have a sleeping problem for sure.  Be safe okay.

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Dear Bacon – Help.  This barky thing is highly confused here at my crib.  See, that’s me on the top of *my* cat tree.  Yep, you read that right.  CAT tree.  Why pray tale is there a mutt on my CAT tree?  There is the entire floor for him to lay upon.  Get off of my TREE.  Any advice to get him down?  Signed Cats Rule Dogs Drool

Dear Cats Rule Dogs Drool – What the cream cheese is he doing on your tree?  Even I know that a CAT tree is made for purr things and not barky things.  No way!  I guess you could come down and scratch at him to get him off your tree… maybe some well placed kitty nails will make him think twice about knowing who is really in charge of the tree.  Maybe drop a couple of bombs – hey – whatever you need to do my friend… evil snorts.

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   Dear Bacon – Rolls doggy eyes.  I hate this situation my friend  You gotta help me.  Okay, I admit that I was caught peeing… on the cat.  But hey the cat started it.  But the cat didn’t get caught – I did.  So I had to sit on the sofa and listen to the ‘talk’ from my humans on how not to pee on the cat.  Really?  Don’t they know that the problems all started with that purr thing being brought into the house?  Signed Dog in Trouble

Dear Dog in Trouble – You poor thing.  I do relate to this look and almost the same position on the couch.  Those darn purr things are always the vain to our existence.  I really can say that having the two here at the Hotel Thompson.  Don’t worry.  I’m sure you will think of an awesome pay back for your beloved purr thing there… call me if you need help.

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Dear Bacon – I don’t understand why my humans were all up in a roar.  I was hungry.  I thought I would fix myself a sandwich.  I can do amazing things with my tongue.  I think personally they are just jealous.  They walked in and caught me in action.  Heck, I offered to fix them one too.  Signed Hungry Hungry Lizard

Dear Hungry Hungry Lizard – Oh my piggy heavens.  Shaking my head my friend.  I just don’t understand why your humans didn’t find your gesture overwhelming.  Really.  What’s a little lizard juice on their sandwich?  It’s so unappreciated for sure.

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Remember friends – Dear Bacon can’t happen without YOU.  Please remember to send me your letters and pictures to my email address.  ♥

 

25 Days of Christmas

 

Time to Decorate

We finally got everything together here at the Hotel Thompson and finished decorating for the holidays.  We don’t put up a tree here for obvious reasons – two purr things, a pig and a dog now.  That tree wouldn’t stand five minutes being decorated in our living room.  Trust me on that.  Between the purr things climbing it and exploring, the dog watering it and chewing on the bottom branches and well me – looks innocently – head bunting it, it would get tired and fall down to sleep.  I’m just saying and being realistic here.  It’s a good thing mom and dad agree.

So no tree here.  But don’t frown.  We have a Mickey Mouse lamp pole.  That fits in perfect here at the Hotel Thompson.  You know my mom LOVES that mouse with the gloves and we still get the pretty lights from the pole.  And the pole is sturdy.  I mean really sturdy like 20-25 pounds.  Hey, it’s gotta be sturdy to hold that huge Mickey Mouse head – snorts.

We also put out my stocking for Christmas.  What?  You think it’s too small?  I told mommy I needed a bigger one.  One can never be too big for all of the goodies that dear Santa might leave in my stocking.  You know – like fruits, vegetables, Gold Fish and Animal Crackers – snorts.

I just have to find the perfect place to hang my stocking.  For some reason, daddy says we can’t put it on the fireplace mantle this year.  Something about it pulling down on the mantle last year.  One heavy stocking and your scarred for life huh?  Bummer daddy.

So I have to find a place for my little stocking.  I’m thinking on the back of the front room door.  That would surely be a nice place to put it.  And also Santa won’t miss it, right?  What do you think.  Any suggestions?

 

Bacon’s Show and Tell

This month we were to focus on something that happened to you while you were a child.  Something that happened that was funny… perhaps now… but at that time it was your shining what the heck were you thinking moment.  This could have happened to you, your spouse, your children or your parents.  Something that to this day you still can’t forget about without smiling and/or laughing.

This month we are tossing the keyboard to daddy because he has a story of something that happened to him as a child.  With that in mind – here you go daddy!

First up I have to say that this picture is not me.  Really, it’s not. 🙂  I have a cuter butt – ha!  But this picture is actually on a greeting card and gives you a picture of my story.  And friends, you can ask Fozzie.  I can paint a picture – evil HA!

When I was probably the age of this boy, my mom had bought me my very first pair of cowboy boots.  I ❤ those boots.  I wore them everywhere – even to bed.  Well one day, my mom roped me to the side and told me it was time for a bath.  You know how boys are with baths – eeww.  So we have to bring plenty of toys in there to keep us company.  Mom fixed my bath and then left me to my business while she talked on the phone.  That’s when the best idea hit me ever!  I wonder if those cowboy boots were water proof.  So I stumbled down the hall, put my new boots on that I only had for about a week and then jumped back in the tub in all my glory – my birthday suit with my boots.

I then splashed around getting water every.where in the bathroom.  I filled my boots up with water and splashed some more.  Finally mom called me and told me it was time to get out.  So I jumped out in my glory and walked into the front room.  That’s right… in my sloshy cowboy boots that were still filled with water on the hardwood floors and carpet.  It was one of my finer moments in life.  And no contrary to what my beloved says, it wasn’t just last week.

At first, my mom was like what the heck and had the frozen look on her face.  Then her face turned red….and I still say an almost purple look from holding her breath not to cuss.  That’s when she finally said it.  Not the whole name you hear sometimes when you *know* you are in trouble but the, “You just wait until I get a hold of you little man” phrase.  Shivers – that’s scarier than the full name.

So I learned a couple of lessons this day.  #1 – Cowboy boots aren’t water proof.  They were completed ruined from my time in the bathtub and had to be trashed.  #2 – Mom had a beautiful color of purple going on in her face and looked more purple that day than Violet in Willy Wonka.  #3 – Cleaning hardwood floors is hard work.  #4 – Mom had a pretty wicked right hook on my cute little butt that day.

 

Bacon’s Show and Tell

We are back for the next Bacon’s Show and Tell my friends!  

For Bacon’s Show and Tell for November we are focusing on another toy from your childhood.  Something that was one of your favorites that you just absolutely loved.  Share a picture and a story about it.  I’m going to let my mom post about this today – take it away mom.

“Thanks Bacon my boy.  One of my favorite toys growing up was something that was fun, exciting and full of exercise.  We had a pretty big back yard growing up, full of trees and green grass.  One year for Christmas, me and one of my brothers got bicycles.  The all American toy of adventure.  I must have been around eight and up until that point I had never been on one.  Christmas afternoon we convinced our parents to let us go into the backyard to ride them.  Of course, it was winter time but winter time in Georgia is not that bad – most of the time.  This day, it was cold but not uncomfortable.  

So out we went.  I imagined I would jump on my chariot of freedom and ride around like there was no tomorrow – or at least that was the plan.  I jumped on, pedaled at full force and went down a little indention in the back yard.  That’s when it hit me full force.  How the heck do you stop this thing?!  I started screaming about the time I ran straight into a tree at full force.  What the heck.  This thing was suppose to be fun – nothing was ever said about crashing.  So that’s when I was told about breaks and how to stop.  I stood up, shook myself off like the tomboy I was, jumped on and my adventure started all over again… this time with the knowledge of breaks 🙂 “

 

 

 

 

Mint Farts for Christmas List?

Making my Christmas list now and adding this for dear daddy. Anyone on your list these too? I wonder if they come in different smells? Snorts.

 

Dear Bacon

Dear Bacon,

Don’t ask.  It was a dare. Those stupid cats think they know everything.  They dared me to do this. I did. They took pictures and now it’s all over the You Tube thingy.  And, I can’t get down.  Help. Signed Limbo

Dear Limbo,
That is quite the predicament you have there my friend.  I guess you could say your in between a rail and a staircase – snorts.  I’m sorry.  I shouldn’t snort.  Perhaps take the challenge and just jump down. Once you are down, find those purr things. Revenge is sweet.  Wishing you the best.

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Dear Bacon,
I got the coolest gift for Christmas.  I’ve been wearing these and freaking people out in the home and while walking.  Aren’t they just awesome?  Signed Bug Eyes

Dear Bug Eyes,
Snorts – I absolutely *love* them my friend.  They are so cool.  I can just see the people you pass as you are on your constitutional walk with your humans.  So much fun!!

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Dear Bacon,

The humans.  They are the strangest people. The little knee high human was blowing what they call bubbles at me.  These things were fascinating.  I couldn’t get enough.  They floated in the air but when I touched them, they went away.  Have you ever seen this witchery?  Signed Impressed

Dear Impressed,

I have never seen them in all of my life.  Your little knee high human must have special powers.  I would be hesitant around them and walk the line.  What if they trapped you in one of those bubbles?  hhmm – this is just most strange to me.  I must research this more with my human daddy.  Be careful my friend.

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Dear Bacon,

Today, I will be on the computer most of the day – just like those humans.  But, I don’t get it.  This computer is doing nothing.  Signed Confused

Dear Confused,
Okay, let me explain this to you my purr friend.  You don’t *sit* on the computer to be ‘on’ the computer.  You sit in front of the computer and type on the keyboard to surf the net.  Understand now?  Try it.  You’ll be surprised of the world out there at your claws.

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Dear Bacon,
I am SO with you on your Christmas tree escapade last year.  I understand completely.  The tree got tired.  I’m saying the same thing.  I walked by it and it fell.  It had nothing to do with me looking at the pretty shiny ornaments.  Shaking head – nothing at all.  Signed Busted

Dear Busted,
Oh dear kitty.  You see with at least my ordeal, I didn’t stay in the room for a picture.  You my friend got exactly what it is – busted.  The proof is in the picture.  Next time, flee fast on those little legs and act like you are asleep.  Not that I know from experience, but that might help your cause next time.

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Remember friends – keep the questions/pictures coming to me for my weekly Tuesday Dear Bacon issues.  You can send your questions/pictures to me at Baconthompson@gmail.com

 

25 Days of Christmas Cards – Day 24