Tag Archives: tortoise
Dear Bacon – What can I say? I’m a happy camper. I know your dislike for a certain frog but hey can’t we be buds? Not all of us frogs are all green and taking your woman. I understand completely. Does this look like a face of a frog that would take your Miss Piggy? I think not. Signed Can’t We Be Friends
Dear Can’t We Be Friends – Aaaww my new pal. I would love to be your friend. And you are right. I only dislike one certain green frog who thinks he is God’s gift to my woman… Kermit. When he decides to leave my Goddess alone, then we might possibly be friends as well. Kermit if you are listening – call me okay.
Dear Bacon – I know how your mom loves the mouse with white gloves, Mickey Mouse. I’m a fan of the other one – Minnie Mouse. My humans know how much I love her so they bought me this head gear to wear so I could be her. What do you think? Am I missing anything? Signed The New Minnie Mouse Dog
Dear The New Minnie Mouse Dog – You look amazing my friend. I absolutely ❤ it! My mom would be so envious in all of your glory. Do you know what would really set off your outfit? White gloves. Oh squeals. That would have all of the Mickey Mouse Club knocking on your door. You rock my new friend! Wear those ears with pride!
Dear Bacon – Don’t fear. This is not a scary movie or a remake of Jurassic Park. We are real. We live and roam in the Galapagos Islands in Ecuador. Wouldn’t it be a hoot to play together? Of course, you might run a smidgen faster than us but we would enjoy the company. If you are ever in these parts, call us okay. Signed Aldi and Gang
Dear Aldi and Gang – WOW! Ya’ll are awesome. I bet we would have a heck of a great time playing together. Do you think I could piggy back on one of ya’ll? Instead of the tortoise and the hare stories, we could make the tortoise and the Bacon stories – snorts and rolls with laughter.
Dear Bacon – Sure, pick on the cow. My so called friends dared me to get up here on this contraption. Said it would be fun and exciting. Yeah, it’s fun and exciting alright. Can you get me off of this thing pig? Signed Betsy
Dear Betsy, Oh dear piggy heavens my friend. You are in a pickle. I’ll call Farmer McDonald to come save you. Just don’t bounce okay. It might be a few minutes.
Dear Bacon – The humans they are fickle. I bought my human a gift. Something I worked hard on getting to repay them for their kindness in giving me my forever home. What do I get in return? A screech so loud that I think they heard it on the other side of the world. I really think I heard glass breaking somewhere in the house. Then the human did something even weirder. They jumped on the table and wouldn’t come off until I took their gift outside. Really? Fickle humans. Signed The Great Hunter
Dear The Great Hunter – Snorts. You see my friend. Humans like their food cooked… and only certain kinds of food. I don’t think mice are on their listed foods they eat. Yet, it was such a wonderful gift to give to them. You are the great hunter, so gifted. Maybe the next time though hunt some cow. I’ve heard they like cow…. a LOT. Carry on and safe hunting.
REMEMBER FRIENDS – We can’t have Dear Bacon issues without YOU. Keep your pictures and questions coming to me via email 🙂
Dear Bacon – I need help. My humans came home from their night out and caught me in the act. I couldn’t help it. Really. There was a kitty thingy outside of the window taunting me. It got me all worked up because the only thing separating us was this window pane and stupid blinds. I think I took care of the blinds. Signed Busted
Dear Busted – WOW! You see my friend the entire thing about trying to get away with something is not messing up the something so that you get caught in the middle of it – like your picture. I see hours – if not days – of making up with your humans on this one. And really…. tell me the truth. Was the cat really worth it? He’s probably laughing at you now.
Dear Rainbow Brite – I’m actually at a loss of words with this one pal. The proof is in the carpet and the colors are vibrant. You are touched with the rainbow. Carry on.
Dear Bacon – One of my hatchlings is bigger then the normal and furrier. I think I may need to call Guinness Book of World Records. I think I might have the biggest boy on earth. What do you think? Signed Tired Mom
Dear Tired Mom – Somehow, and I may be wrong, but I don’t think that is your baby. I think perhaps if you look closer, you will see *your* baby next to you. Look to your right.. a little bit more. Now you see your chick that looks like you? Now looks at your “big baby”. See how different he looks? In fact, I would go as far as to say that he might not chirp but may bark instead. Go ahead, poke him a little to see. Test my theory my friend. I think you’ve been played by a pooch.
Dear Bacon – It’s so hard to find good help these days. I hailed a taxi and got this ridiculous slow guy. Doesn’t he know it’s all about speed? Dude I hope he charges by the mile and not the time – I would owe a fortune! Signed Hare
Dear Hare – I hope you packed a lunch, a book and perhaps your cell phone. You can probably get a lot done by the time you get to your ‘destination’. Good luck with that and don’t forget to tip.
Dear Bacon – Sometimes when the wife gets mad at you, you just know she’s mad. Take for instance this picture. We were outside this morning watching the sun came up. I might have said something stupid. I’m thinking at least the wife did cause the next thing I new she was telling me to kiss it where the sun doesn’t shine. Why? Can you explain women to me? Signed Paw in Mouth
Dear Paw in Mouth – There are no words or instruction manuals my friend. As someone smart once told my father, “You can be right in your relationship or you can be happy. You can’t be both.” Those my friends are words to live by. I think you have a job to do now. 🙂
Remember my friends – Dear Bacon can’t happen without your letters and pictures. Please keep sending them to me 🙂
My human thought she would bring me to work today. As you can tell, neither one of us got a lot of work done. Well, my mom didn’t. I did because her desk was the most frequented visited cubicle that day. I wonder why? Signed Shrimp
Smiles and wipes piggy eyes. Aren’t you just the most adorable, cutest little thing I’ve seen in a while. I just want to rub that little belly of yours. You must have really been tired little guy. Maybe you should do more visits to work with mommy. I think in no time you would have all of her co-workers wrapped around your little paws!
I know we are suppose to be enemies but we’re not. We are buds. He watches my back and I watch his. We have the most interesting conversations at our house. Why can’t we all just get along in the world like us? Signed Tom and Jerry
Dear Tom and Jerry,
Ya’ll have a great point. We *should* all just get along in this world. There shouldn’t be anything saying that we can’t because of one thing or another. Ya’ll are setting the best example – keep up the great work my friends!
I was this close to freedom before they caught me and put me back in lockdown. I could taste freedom and it tasted pretty darn good. Any suggestions for next time? Signed Stretch
I have to laugh buddy. They say your kind is slow and not full of spunk but I think *they* are wrong. You show the tenacity in making the ‘great escape’. You were so close – how you got that far up on the fence is beyond me but way to go my friend. Next time though, might I suggest just watching out for the gate to open. It might be a safer way for your taste of freedom.
What? Haven’t you ever seen a bird wearing a hoodie before? It gets cold. I don’t have a ‘fur coat’ like you do. My feathers only provide so much for warmth. I think it’s a great idea. We should all have one, you think? Signed Fun Times
Dear Fun Times,
I think it’s great! You look warm, festive and ready to go meet the world in that hoodie. I say don’t worry about what anyone else might think. As long as you are warm and comfy, who cares!
I need help. I know you have Bashful. Bashful is like a happening international traveling pet rock. My owner, he just keeps me in a cage and feeds me. I don’t get that life of first class traveling or anything. Any suggestions- can you help me out? Signed Bug
I am so sorry little guy. Your owner must not have gotten the parenting guide like I did with Bashful. You have to have exercise. Your owner needs to walk you or at least put a hamster wheel in your cage for exercise. Does he take you out for social time, watching television? Heck, if anything else, you need a friend. You give him my number, I’ll email it back to you. I’ll talk to him and see what we can come up with my friend.
Remember Anipals – if you have a problem or a question, please send it to me with a picture at email@example.com
Sometimes life is so overwhelming that I just don’t know what to do. It’s so stressful. I just have to sit down and it weighs on my shoulders. Any tips for me? Signed Heavy Thoughts
Dear Heavy Thoughts,
If any of my friends have taught me anything it’s that sometimes we have to stop and smell the roses. Life is not as bad as what you think. Think of the positive things in life and how much you have going for you. It seems like you’re overlooking the ocean in your picture. That in itself can be very relaxing and have a calming effect on oneself. And you know a good chuckle solves a lot of problems. You can never take yourself too serious. Focus on those thoughts for a while my friend and keep your trunk up. You have a lot to bring to the party!
Hee-hee I’m eating your strawberry. How you like that? HA HA Signed Tortoise
What’s that? I couldn’t hear you through eating through this basket of strawberries that my mom got me. That’s right – I said basket. Hope you enjoy your ONE strawberry my friend. Snort – Love you!
Mommy said that if I eat my vegetables I will grow up to be strong just like you. Is she right? Signed Tiny
Your mom is 100% correct. Eating vegetables make you strong. Now eat up that corn and broccoli I see and become a member of the clean plate club. Make mommy proud and grow up to be nice and strong!
Sometimes it takes a friends to help you out in meeting that future Mrs. Right. I saw this gorgeous lady and had to get her attention some how that she would remember me. I got my bro to help me out with an outstretched arm. What do you think – did I make an impression to last? Signed Romeo
I gave this picture and letter the test and showed it to mom. She got all teary eyed – you passed with flying colors. She said that it was the sweetest thing she has seen in a while. You should have made a huge impression on your lady friend. Give her a call and ask her out for brunch now to get to know her. If ya’ll get engaged, drop us a line to let us know.
Yep, it’s me the Hemi… your purr thing at the Hotel Thompson. I know you talk about me and the paw that hits your hiney at times. I thought I would show your friends the size of my hand. Maybe then they will understand why you cry like a little girl when I do it. Meow – Master Hemi
Stay away from my computer and room. After my loyal followers see the size of that paw, they will then know what a little bully you are – snort.
This is my scary pose. Does it work? I’m trying it out on different people but all they do is laugh. What am I doing wrong? Signed Vicious
I hate to say it little fellow but that is so not scary. The only thing scary in that pose are those huge claws – now that’s scary. You doing that pose – I just want to tickle that little belly. I’m sure as you get older, that pose may have more of an impact. Right now though, you’re just a cute little thing… especially with that sunlight shining on you. Maybe lose the pose and learn to bristle up that fur a bit. That might be scary. Let me know my friend.
I need some help. I’m not sure what is going on. Everyone that sees me starts singing some theme song of Star Wars. I don’t get it. Signed Ewok
You don’t get out much do you? You need to go through your master’s video collection and find one marked Star Wars. Watch it. Watch it closely my friend and see if you notice anything in that movie that you’ve seen before…anything that looks familiar…. anything that maybe has the same name as you. Love the look!
I get picked on all of the time. You’re slow they say. I can run faster than you they say. You’re slower than creek water running down stream they say. Well, I have found the light and the answer! These days, I just use my handy dandy skate board. What do you think? Signed Tony “Tortoise” Hawk
Dear Tony “Tortoise” Hawk
I think you look fantastic little man! What an awesome idea that you came up with. Can’t wait to see you television racing the big guys! Be safe!
Those pesky cats in the neighborhood were running through the trees. I thought I would chase them. You know, just to keep up their exercise. They got me stuck between two trees. Have you ever seen such misery? Signed Woody
I would not have believed it if you didn’t send a picture to me. WOW – you are stuck between two trunks and a hard place. Hope you got unstuck fast. Don’t be too hard on those purr things.
This is us, the TMNT, in the early days. Even then we had style. Never give up man and always dream big – it can happen to you like it did to us. Signed Michelangelo, Leonardo, Raphael and Donatello
Love you guys! Mom said that you are making another come back. I’ve watched some shows from the past. I would love to be like ya’ll – can you use a pig in the mix? I want a cool name too – just like ya’lls. Keep safe and live prosper my new friends!