Dear Bacon

Dear Bacon – This is called *the* look.  You know the one that your parents do between themselves when they get all gooey eyed with each other.  I wanted to send it to you so you can practice.  Cause you know love day is coming and you need to market this look to get a date for Valentine’s.  I know you have it in you.  Who could ever resist that little pot belly of yours.  Practice – practice and more practice my friend.  You’re welcomed.  Signed Stud

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Dear Stud – OMP.  Thanks my friend!!  I am so going to start practicing this look and marketing it.  I need all of the help I can get with the ladies.  And thank you for calling my pot belly little.  I appreciate that so very much buddy!  I just knew that this pot belly would come in handy one day.  Look at dad.  He has one and he got lucky with mom!  Snorts and rolls with piggy laughter.

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Dear Bacon – I double pig bet you that you can’t do this.  In fact, I just *know* you can’t.  See sometimes I try to mess with my humans and stand on my back paws.  Meows.  It keeps them guessing what I will do next.  I just want to see them doing this too.  Signed Twinkle Toes

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Dear Twinkle Toes – That is a given talent my sweet dear friend.  There is no way this little piglet could do that for sure.  Heck with this pot belly, I can barely see my back feet.

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Dear Bacon – Wassup!?!  Never fear if you see me hanging under your fence.  Just wanted to see wassup and whatcha parents cooking on that grill.  It smells good from here.  Can I have a bite or dozen?  Signed Voyeur

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Dear Voyeur – Hilarious bro!  I love the way you think of hanging out to see what’s going on in the hood.  Pop over anytime…. or should I say pop under?  Snorts and rolls with piggy laughter.  And hey, mom/dad were grilling hamburgers on the grill.  If one falls, it’s free game to us anipals.  Come on over.  I’ll share.

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Dear Bacon – Come on dude.  Let’s “fly” some air outside and do some jumps.  It’s a happening thing and you will love the air in your hair… or wings.  I’ve heard some oinkers have wings.  Call me and we will have a skate date.  Signed Hawk Fly

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Dear Hawk Fly – Dude, I think it would be fly to soar through the air weighless.  I just don’t think (A) there’s a skateboard big enough for my pot belly and (B) my pot belly could ever take flight unless someone shoved me off of a cliff or the top of the house.  On second thought, forget I said that.  Dad might read it and get ideas.  Have fun Hawk Fly!

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Dear Bacon – The New York City subway is a strict bus service.  Dogs can’t walk on buses.  They have to be carried, in strollers, etc.  My human created me a good one – a skateboard.  Hey, I put on a hat and headset and nobody even knows I’m a pooch.  Really!  And hey, we are not breaking any rules whatsoever.  So go us, right?  Signed Disguised Celebrity

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Dear Disguised Celebrity – My friend, do I have someone you need to get in touch with!  See Hawk Fly above.  Ya’ll could fly around the bus services like you wouldn’t believe together.  Just think of the possibilities of fun!  Just remember – safety first!

 

Dear Bacon

Dear Bacon – Yo dude, we want to tell you something.  Don’t think that Tony Hawk and humans are the only one’s that can move a board.  We want you to know that us anipals can too.  This is me and my bro using our boards on the bathroom sink – which is an awesome area to do some rims off the side.  It’s way too cool dude.  You only have to make sure that you don’t do the rim on the toilet side cause if it goes over, ka-plunk into the depths of the tidy bowl friend.   So dude, the next time you go out on your deck or what have you, take in some air.  You won’t regret it!  Signed Mike and Ike

Dear Mike and Ike – Oh my piggy heavens.  That’s what I’m talking about!  Find the freedom of fun where you can.  I like the way you two think for sure.  I say burn those boards my friends and keep flying high… just watch out for the tank.

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Dear Bacon – Shaking my head.  You always have that one brother that just doesn’t know how to act or fit in.  I’m sure you can relate with those two in your home.  Here we are and our human wanted to take pictures.  I’ve said time and time again, “Bro, don’t look at the camera.”  And what does he do?  Looks at the camera and grins like an idiot.  Shaking my head.  How can we be from the same family?  Signed I’m with Stupid

Dear I’m with Stupid – I know only too well of this problem my friend.  It seems like our brothers never want to do what we tell them – ever!  Houdini is the same way here.  He *always* has to turn on his baby charm and smile.  It’s really disgusting.  He’s such a camera hog – snorts with piggy laughter.

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Dear Bacon –  They say that admission is the first step.  Okay here it goes.  I admit it.  I can’t hold my kibble.  I overate.  Why?  Because it was there and my belly grumbled for some.  Yes, I know it’s going to be there every day but you never know when the kibble will run dry and there won’t be anymore.  You never know – honestly!  I knew when I finished that I made a grave error of my ways.  My tummy started rumbling and I got the talk back to… you know when air escapes and makes sound out of your bum.  Those are weird.  Then I ran to the bathroom and threw my head into the throne… to bad that wasn’t the end it wanted to come out of.  My bad.  Have you ever felt this way?  Signed Overeaters Anonymous

Dear Overeaters Anonymous – Oh my friend.  I’m a hog.  I always feel like I should clean my bowl and eat some more.  But mom, she makes sure I don’t overdo it like you did.  And those sounds coming out of your bum – I like to refer to them as food ghosts coming back to haunt us…. then I blame them on my daddy.  Hey, it works.  Hope you feel better soon.

 

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Dear Bacon –  There is this show on television that I always have to watch every single week.  It’s called Bad Dog!  If you haven’t seen it, you have to check it out.  It’s all about dogs that don’t have it together, that don’t know what side of their bread is buttered.  Do you know what I mean?  Well every week, I gather my favorites together – cheese – and watch my show.  I try to get my humans to watch with me.  So they will know what a wonderful pet I actually am.  You know to let them know how lucky they are to have me.  You get it.  So do you have to remind your humans that they are lucky to have you?  Signed Cheese Head

Dear Cheese Head – Yes.  Us anipals always need to remind our humans how lucky they are to have us and how they can’t live without us.  It’s the law of anipals… well it should be if it isn’t.  Without us, who would keep the humans in line.  Right?  I say carry on my friend and enjoy those cheese doodles… one of my favorites.

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❤ Remember friends – Dear Bacon can’t happen without YOU.  Please continue to email me your pictures and letters.  ❤

 

Dear Bacon

Dear Bacon – Hey dude!  With all of the soccer craze going on right now, I thought I would hop along and be a professional athlete as well.  I love soccer.  There is nothing more relaxing than kicking the ball around. I think I’m just as good as David Beckham or Pelé or even Cristiano Ronaldo.  What do you think?  Do you think they would count my front feet as hands?  Do you ever play ball?  Signed A Beautiful Mind

Dear A Beautiful Mind – Awesome.  That’s what I say.  I think it’s awesome that you love to play soccer as much as you do.  I can see you in the Olympics and at the big game.  And yes I can see you next to the greats that you mentioned.  I myself have snouted a ball around the backyard here from time to time.  I think it’s a great way to relief some stress.  I don’t care what any other peep thinks, you do what you love my friend.  Go score BIG TIME!

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Dear Bacon – Can you guess who my hero is?  Go ahead guess.  I bet you can’t figure it out?  I know you can’t!  I’ve gotta go now and find my brother Luigi and that gorgeous Princess Peach.  Signed Mario

Dear Mario – Snorts!  Good one my friend.  You are awesome.  You look just like that guy.  No doubts in my book at all.  And yes we guessed right off who you were.  You see my mom loves Mario and Luigi and all your friends.  She says she grew up with them and gave them a run for their money playing arcades.

I think you need to work your look for as long as you can and make it work for you.  Perhaps you can go on a nationwide tour and promote Mario and Friends. Wouldn’t that be fun?  If you come to my neck of the woods, I would love to see you in person.  Take care and safe travels!

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Dear Bacon –  I told everyone I would be back and here I am.  I’m back and ready to take over the world.  This time I’m coming back as a pooch that is deadly… that has secret weapons of destruction.  Don’t get in my way.  Signed Poochnator

Dear Poochnator – WOW!  Does your humans know about this?  And I have to ask.  Do you know my friend Easy?  Are you secretly Easy in disguise?  A pig has to know these answers my friend.  And hey, does your mother know about your late curfew while you are out saving the world?  And my mom says to tell you to remember to wear clean underwear… you know just in case something happens.

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Dear Bacon –  I’ll do anything for a carrot.  I’ve heard you are the same.  What would you do for a carrot?  Signed Tony “The Pig” Hawk

Dear Tony “The Pig” Hawk – You go my friend.  You ride like there is no tomorrow.  Hit those decks, do those tails, ride those carves and hit some air.  I can see you doing all of these tricks and getting all of the carrots you could wish for.  And have I done anything for a carrot?  You betcha.  I’ve given Mouse Girl here back scratches and washed Hemi’s feet.What? That’s as adventurous as this pig gets!

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Dear Bacon – Oh my pussy cats.  There I was in the house walking around like I normally do.  I went into the bathroom and there was a beautiful bubble bath in the tub.  I looked around and no one was there.  So I decided to take a little dip thinking that humans left it for me, right?  I’m laying back enjoying the suds and then have mercy – the human master walked in naked.  What has now been seen can not be unseen.  I’ll even be honest with you. I’m not sure which one of us screamed the loudest.  Signed Rub-a-Tub-Puss-in-a-Tub

Dear Rub-a-Tub-Puss-in-a-Tub – WOW!  Now first up.  That is a lovely ‘scared’ picture of you in the suds.  It does look like you were enjoying yourself.  Second up, I gotta ask.  Did you give up your luxurious bubble bath and give it to the human or did you share?  Snorts – I know I wouldn’t have gotten out!

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FRIENDS – Please remember that Dear Bacon can’t happen without YOU.  Please email me your pictures and letters 🙂

 

Dear Bacon

Dear Bacon,
Hey, I’m just trying to help out here around the house. The humans said I don’t pull my weight. That’s all I’m doing – trying to help out with the everyday chores. I thought I would help out with dinner. I’m sure it will taste like chicken – evil bark. Signed Chef Boy Ring Dog

Dear Chef Boy Ring Dog,

Step away from the stove my friend. Purr things are not made for eating. They are made for loving. Trust me, they do not taste like chicken. I’ve licked our purr things here at the Hotel Thompson. They taste nothing like chicken. Not even good. You don’t want any of that. Go find you some kibbles. Now that’s a meal.

 

Dear Bacon,
I know you have a lot of horsey friends. Can I be your friend to? I think we have some similar markings. I’m hoping that you can help me out with a problem I have. Am I a black horse with white spots or am I a white horse with black spots? Signed Confucius Spots

Dear Confucius Spots,

I would love to be your friend! I’m so touched that you asked. As for your problem. Does it really matter? All that *does* matter is that you know you are beautiful either way. I mean that from the heart – You are stunning – just stunning my new friend.

 

Dear Bacon,
What can I say, I’m a thrill seeker. Anything to get my heart pumping, I just LOVE to do. I know it drives Old McDonald over the edge here at the farm. I can’t help it though. Don’t you just love the excitement? Signed Evil Cowknivel

Dear Evil Cowknivel,

My friend, there is excitement and then there is excitement. Personally, I find it exciting just walking to the front room from my bedroom without getting the wrath of Hemi slapping my hind quarters. But, each to their own ways. Try not to give Old McDonald a heart attack in some of your activities. And heck, if you are going to take a risk, start charging admission so at least you can help the farm out. You know? Carry on my friend.

 

Dear Bacon,
I’m trying to ‘bulk’ up. My friends say I’m skinny and scrawny. Do you think it’s working? Signed Squirt

Dear Squirt,

Oh little guy, give it some time. You will grow into all of that fur. You don’t need to lift weights to do that. And tell your friends to quit bullying you. There is no room for bullying in this time and age – NONE WHATSOEVER. You are just fine the way you are.

 

Dear Bacon,

Who says that skateboarding is just for guys and the humans. If I want to burn the roads up, why can’t I? Everyone says it’s just a guy sport. Why? Who makes up these rules? Chicks rule – we should make up the rules, right? Signed Atonia Hawk

Dear Atonia Hawk,

I’m not arguing with that, really I’m not. I’ve seen my human mom do some amazing guy things. I say if you are good at, then practice makes perfect. Don’t take any flack – show them whatcha got my furry friend!

 

 

Remember Friends – Keep sending your pictures/questions to me at Baconthompson@gmail.com

 

Dear Bacon

Dear Bacon,

This is my scary pose.  Does it work?  I’m trying it out on different people but all they do is laugh.  What am I doing wrong?  Signed Vicious

Dear Vicious,

I hate to say it little fellow but that is so not scary.  The only thing scary in that pose are those huge claws – now that’s scary.  You doing that pose – I just want to tickle that little belly.  I’m sure as you get older, that pose may have more of an impact.  Right now though, you’re just a cute little thing… especially with that sunlight shining on you.  Maybe lose the pose and learn to bristle up that fur a bit.  That might be scary.  Let me know my friend.

 
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Dear Bacon,

I need some help.  I’m not sure what is going on.  Everyone that sees me starts singing some theme song of Star Wars.  I don’t get it.  Signed Ewok

Dear Ewok,

You don’t get out much do you?  You  need to go through your master’s video collection and find one marked Star Wars.  Watch it.  Watch it closely my friend and see if you notice anything in that movie that you’ve seen before…anything that looks familiar…. anything that maybe has the same name as you.  Love the look!

 

 

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Dear Bacon,

I get picked on all of the time.  You’re slow they say.  I can run faster than you they say.  You’re slower than creek water running down stream they say.  Well, I have found the light and the answer!  These days, I just use my handy dandy skate board.  What do you think?  Signed Tony “Tortoise” Hawk

Dear Tony “Tortoise” Hawk

I think you look fantastic little man!  What an awesome idea that you came up with.  Can’t wait to see you television racing the big guys!  Be safe!
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Dear Bacon,

Those pesky cats in the neighborhood were running through the trees.  I thought I would chase them.  You know, just to keep up their exercise.  They got me stuck between two trees.  Have you ever seen such misery?  Signed Woody

Dear Woody,

I would not have believed it if you didn’t send a picture to me.  WOW – you are stuck between two trunks and a hard place.  Hope you got unstuck fast.  Don’t be too hard on those purr things. 
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Dear Bacon,

This is us, the TMNT, in the early days.  Even then we had style.  Never give up man and always dream big – it can happen to you like it did to us.  Signed Michelangelo, Leonardo, Raphael and Donatello

Dear TMNT,

Love you guys!  Mom said that you are making another come back.  I’ve watched some shows from the past.  I would love to be like ya’ll – can you use a pig in the mix?  I want a cool name too – just like ya’lls.  Keep safe and live prosper my new friends!