Albert is a Bully

That’s right.  I said it.  I didn’t stutter when I typed.  Albert, mom’s Smart car, is a bully.  You don’t believe me do you?  You think, “Aaww, that cute little blue Smart car can’t be a thug.”  Snorts – you just don’t know Albert very well.  Let me tell you a story about sweet old Albert.

The other day, mom and dad took me for a spin around town.  We were stopped at a red light when this car pulled up beside us.  It was a rocking red sports car – the top was down and it was smoking hot.  That’s when it happened.  Albert persuaded mom to roll down her window, get the peeps attention in the smoking red sports car and ask them if they wanted to race.  The nerve of Albert!  Of course after the nice folks stopped laughing, the light changed.  They got stuck in traffic at the next light as Albert rolled up next to them, honked his horn and we kept rolling.

See, I told you.  Albert is a bully.

 

Potential Car-Jacking! – UPDATED

Poor mom.  She got up this morning and left for work in Albert – her little Smart car – just like she does every morning.  No biggie.  That’s when it happened – always when you are least expecting it.  She saw it out of the corner of her eye.  It was kind of like a… as she said quote “Aww crappers” moment.

She saw him standing in the neighbors yard at first.  She’s seen him in the neighborhood and has been wary of him.  He is bad news.  He’s one of those tough edgy kind of guys who leads gangs.  Shivers – that’s all I could do when I was listening to mom talk about him.  She actually told daddy he was a “little thug”.  I don’t know what that means but it can’t be good.  Daddy got hot about that.

She was just minding her own business and that’s when he came at her from the passenger side.  She quickly locked the doors to Albert and floored it.  It’s not a bad neighborhood but this little thug was actually chasing her down the street.  God only knows what he would do if he caught mommy.  Squeal – can you believe that – in broad daylight this idiot was trying to carjack my mom?  Was he serious?!

All she could think of was going fast – gotta go fast – gotta outrun this thug.  I want you to know, she barely made it out of the neighborhood.  I mean heck, if he would have caught her what would he have done?  Flipped her off – literally?  She did snag a picture of the little punk – here it is:

I hope you can see the little thug now my friends.  Sometimes I seem to be all hooves when I’m blogging something.  Mom got away just fine.  This guy here must be the leader – he was the biggest one of the clan – snorts.  Thanks for your concerns – I hope I didn’t alarm anyone.  Much love – hogs and snout kisses – Bacon