Rocky’s Nut Brunch

Hello dear friends.  I have a great one for you today.  If you are like Bacon’s mom, she is always forgetting what side of her car has the gas tank.  I’m going to show you today how you can tell without getting out of your car.  It’s really easy.  Look at your gas gauge.  Do you see the little gas pump image?  Whatever side the arrow is pointing at, that is the side of your gas tank.  For example, in this picture the gas tank has the arrow to the left.  The gas tank is on the left side.  If the arrow was pointing to the right, the gas tank would be on the right side.  Did you know that?  Now you do!

 

Come Here Spring!

Dearest Mother Nature – Really?  This weather you are throwing at us is outrageous.  One day it’s in the 70’s and the next day it’s in the 30’s.  Daddy says you are going through – what did he call it? – menopause.  He says that’s the only way to explain the vast difference in temperatures.  I can’t tell you what mommy called it – it was a bad word.

Yesterday here it was beautiful.  It was the first day it hasn’t rained.  Which by the way it has rained so much that I think I’m sprouting feathers and quacking now instead of oinking.  Today when mom went to work, it was so dark I thought it was night.  Nope, it was the same time that she usually leaves.  It was dark because it looked like the sky was fixing to fall out with thunderstorms.  Lovely.

 You know there are medicines that you can take for these mood swings.  If they don’t help, maybe you need to see a professional instead of taking this out on everyone in the world.  I’m just sayin’.

 

Tank vs Albert – The Results

Hello my friends.  Hope everyone had a most excellent weekend.  We all did here at the Hotel Thompson.  Us anipals got plenty of snuggles and rest.  Mom and dad completed the Tank vs Albert challenge and I’m here today with the results from them.  And just so you know, mom took daddy with her so that the results were not one-sided.  Do you think you know who won out in the competition of who is the most fun?  Do you think mommy gets treated differently when she drives the other vehicle?  You don’t have to wait any longer – here we go.

First up for the challenge – Tank.  Mom/dad went out riding in Tank on Saturday around the area.  Now, remember the challenge was to do the following:

• Wave at two cars that are similar in make and see what people do.
• Let two people in front of her at different times to see what people do.
• Go through a drive thru and pay for the breakfast behind her to see what people do.

Mom saw another car right off similar to Tank on the boulevard.  She waved at the woman driver.  The woman driver did a double take as if who are you waving at.  So much for being friendly huh?  Later on, mom saw another car similar to Tank with another woman driver.  She waved.  The lady at least smiled at mom – no wave but a smile.

At a red light, there was a man coming out of a shopping center.  Mom stopped to let him out.  He came out like there was no tomorrow without even a glance back.  Later, another stop light and restaurant.  Mom waved to let the woman out.  Again, no acknowledgement.

Mom and dad then proceeded to a drive thru later on in the day.  The lady behind them was buying a Happy Meal for her child so mom decided to buy it for her.  Mom pulled up to see the woman’s reaction.  Nada.  Nothing.  Not even a wave of thank you.

Results in Tank – Okay not very friendly.  Mom did get a wave from another similar driver of a Chevrolet Equinox. Other than that, nothing.  How crappy huh?

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Sunday, mom/dad decided to take out Albert for the test.  They drove in different areas than they did Tank the day before.  Now, Smart cars are harder to find on the roads here – not a lot of people have them so they had to really look.

After a while, mom spotted one like a great white in the ocean.  She moved towards it.  She didn’t even have to honk first – the guy did in his Smart car.  He beeped his horn and waved like crazy at mom.  Of course, she acted equally as crazy and waved back.

The next spotting was a two-for.  She was sitting at a light and a Smart car was coming out of a restaurant.  She not only let the Smart car out, but they waved like crazy, rolled down their window and shouted to mom, “We love your car!”  Go figure huh?

Later on in the day, mom/dad were sitting at another light and a car was coming out of a motel.  Mom motioned them.  Do you believe what they did – they waved and laughed.  Awesome!

Now the kicker – to do a drive thru and pay for someone’s meal behind them.  They hit the nearest drive thru, ordered their food and paid for the car behind them.  Mom pulled up a bit to see what would happen.  The car behind them pulled up, you could see the conversation taking place and then they started beeping their horn and waving.  SCORE!

So what does this challenge teach you… other than mom/dad have a lot of time on their hands to do random psychiatric testing on people that don’t even know it – snorts.  This challenge teaches you something that women have known for centuries – are you ready for this – SIZE MATTERS!  No really, think about it.  This works not only in cars but in real life with humans.  The smaller you are, the more accepting people are to you and go out of their way to be nicer.  You know it’s true.  It’s profiling at it’s basic power.  Think about it.   Until people accept that we are all individuals in all different shapes and sizes, this will continue.  Bullying is a powerful weapon that happens in all forms of life.  This is a time to make a stand my friends.

SAY NO TO BULLYING!! 

 

Tank vs Albert

Mommy wanted to do a test between our two cars – Albert the Smart Car vs Tank the Equinox – to see which one is more fun to drive.  I know – mom lives a full exciting life huh?  Snorts.  Okay so I’m breaking down the competition for you.

In this corner we have Tank.  Tank is a 1996 Chevrolet Equinox.  Tank weighs around 5,000 pounds give or take.  Holds about 18 gallons of gas.  Can seat five and has a cargo storage area in the back.  Labeled as a SUV although it doesn’t really look or drive like one.  Very comfortable for long trips.  Nicknamed Tank because it withstands a beating and still comes out strong and ready to ride. And did we mention awesome for long trips – great seating and space.

In this corner we have Albert.  Albert is a 2010 Smart Fortwo Passion Coupe.  Albert weighs in between 1,500-1,800 pounds and can be driven either manually or stick.  Albert only holds 8.7 gallons of gas but goes and goes and goes getting excellent gas mileage.  Albert can only seat two – tops.  Albert is gas efficient yes but smooth driving – not so much.  You feel every bump in the road.  Personally for one person – you get used to the ride and love it.  The hub not so much.  Long trips – it can be worrisome.  Highways don’t bother you much but if it is windy, you will be fighting to keep the car in the lane.  Great car to ride around town, back and forth to work or grocery trips.  Remember all of those times your parents said playing Tetris wouldn’t pay off?  Well in this car and grocery shopping, it does 🙂 Has a little cargo area in the back – just perfect for this little oinker or some groceries.

So there you go – the two contenders.  Here’s the challenge.  Mom will drive one car for each day.  While driving the car, she will do the following:

• Wave at two cars that are similar in make and see what people do.
• Let two people in front of her at different times to see what people do.
• Go through a drive thru and pay for the breakfast behind her to see what people do.

This is a challenge to see what people do while she is driving each car.  Why?  Because mom swears that she is treated differently when driving the other car.  And besides, mom is like this.  She likes challenges. So, what do you think will happen?  Look here for the blog to see the results.

 

Come Here Spring!

Dearest Mother Nature – Really?  This weather you are throwing at us is outrageous.  One day it’s in the 70’s and the next day it’s in the 30’s.  Daddy says you are going through – what did he call it? – menopause.  He says that’s the only way to explain the vast difference in temperatures.  I can’t tell you what mommy called it – it was a bad word.

Yesterday here it was beautiful.  It was the first day it hasn’t rained.  Which by the way it has rained so much that I think I’m sprouting feathers and quacking now instead of oinking.  Today when mom went to work, it was so dark I thought it was night.  Nope, it was the same time that she usually leaves.  It was dark because it looked like the sky was fixing to fall out with thunderstorms.  Lovely.

And let me tell you about Albert, mom’s Smart car.  Mommy has not driven him in 8 days.  Why?  Because with your winds, your rain, your up and down temperatures, dad thought mom would be safer in Tank, the other car.  So you see now Mother Nature you are ticking off Albert.  He wants to run and he can’t.

 You know there are medicines that you can take for these mood swings.  If they don’t help, maybe you need to see a professional instead of taking this out on everyone in the world.  I’m just sayin’.

 

Leave It To My Mom – How Original

My mom – she is definitely different.  I think she swims to her own tune – trust me on that one.  You know that she has the Smart car Albert but she also has another car.  She has an Equinox called Tank.  Most of the time, she drives Albert but there are the days that she wants to drive a bigger car – like Tank.

Here’s the problem.  If she parks them in the driveway back to back, then she has to move them around when she wants to take one over the other.  Cause you know, there’s no parking on the grass – rolls piggy eyes.  We can’t hurt that dreadful grass.  Ideally, it would be awesome to get the driveway extended out a bit.  That’s what daddy would love to do.  But until then, the problem persists.

So mom, she came up with a solution as you can see from the picture below.  She parks Albert sideways and parks Tank straight in the driveway.  That way, she can take either one without having to play hopscotch cars.  How original is that?  Of course, she has to drive Albert on the grass on the other side of Tank but there are actually bricks on the yard on that side that you can’t see with this picture.

But you want to hear the funny thing about mom’s originality?  She’s been doing this for a while and it’s catching on in the neighborhood.  Now you can see other households doing the same thing.  Snorts.

 

Way To Go Albert!

Some of you remember mommy buying her little Smart Car last Spring. This is it in the picture to the right. She just loves that little car. Can you understand her miniature phase? Miniature pot bellied pig – miniature car. Yep, mom is hooked – snorts.

It is a small car. Mom named it “Albert”. Do you get it? It’s a Smart car and Albert Einstein was smart thus she named it Albert. Funny how mom’s brain works that way, right? Double snorts.

 

It’s really bigger than you think on the inside. It doesn’t ‘drive’ small. It drives like a big car. This is the back of Albert opened up. See, lots of space in there. AND, the bottom part of the ‘trunk’ opens up for storage. The back part is just big enough for me to sit in and oink while mom rides me around town. I love that! There’s also enough space back there that mommy feels it up when she goes to the grocery store.

 

And this picture shows you the inside of Albert. It’s really not bad. Mom/Dad get in it and put around on the weekends all of the time. Now, the downside is that Albert is only a 3 cylinder. Yep, I said THREE cylinder. So, power is not the upmost when mom goes back and forth from the worky place.

 

 

And the best part is in this picture. There is a mat that rolls back so you can let the sun shine inside. It’s great to feel that sun on my little piggy body when we are driving. But don’t get me wrong. Albert has a great air conditioner/heater, radio, etc.

 

I tell you all of this because Albert turned 1 last week. Mommy has had him an entire year. Albert had to go in for his first physical and oil change – oil changes are only done every 10,000 miles! It took mom an entire year to get there.

He passed with flying colors! Way to go Lil Albert! Sniff – sniff, he’s growing up. I think him and our other car, Tank, (he’s a Equinox) had a little party in the driveway. They’re close like that.

But do you know what is funny? When mom comes home from the worky place, sometimes the kids in the neighborhood try to ‘race’ her down the street to our house. Now, she could beat them if she wanted to but she doesn’t. She lets them win every single time. Isn’t she the best?