What the cream cheese?! I’m serious. My mom and dad do not find trouble. Trouble finds them. I’m serious. You don’t believe me? Okay. Let me show you.
This is exhibit A. This is a real book in the book store written by Ira Alterman. You see it was all innocent. Mom and dad went to a vintage book store to find us anipals some new reading material for our bedtime stories. That is when dad found this book. Mom and dad had a fit and laughed like little kids. I mean I don’t know what the big deal is really. We did have a fat pussy here at the Hotel Thompson and her name was Mouse Girl. Snorts and rolls with piggy laughter.
And no they didn’t buy the book. Can you believe it was $100.00?! Mom said they could keep the fat pussy. Snorts!
What at is the craziest book title you have ever seen?
What the cream cheese?! I’m serious. My mom and dad do not find trouble. Trouble finds them. I’m serious. You don’t believe me? Okay. Let me show you.
This is exhibit A. This is a real book in the book store written by Ira Alterman. You see it was all innocent. Mom and dad went to a vintage book store to find us anipals some new reading material for our bedtime stories. That is when dad found this book. Mom and dad had a fit and laughed like little kids. I mean I don’t know what the big deal is really.
And no they didn’t buy the book. Can you believe it was $100.00?! Mom said they could keep the fat pussy. Snorts!
What at is the craziest book title you have ever seen?
Every once in a while I come across something so outrageous – so out of this world – so incredibly stupid that I have to share. This is one of those times my friends. I saw this on Facebook and my first thought was, “You have got to be kidding me!” Then I showed it to mommy. She was like, ‘”Bacon, where do you come up with this stuff?” Knowing these conversations, I had to share the video. Now, how many of you are rushing to the phone to order the Licki Brush? You better hurry up because I know they are going to sell out. Snorts and rolls with piggy laughter.
Why? That’s what I’m asking today my friends. Why? The newest craze these days is for men to have hair buns… and if they don’t have enough hair they can buy one of these ‘buns’ for the look. See what I’m saying now? Why? Daddy brought this to mom’s attention the other night. She looked at him like for real? Then she told him NOT to get any ideas. She did NOT want to see him with this crazy look of a hair bun. Then daddy said the most funniest thing I’ve heard to date. He said that in order to get a hair bun, the guy needed to fill out a I.D.-10- T form. Mom looked at him with this what-the-heck-are-you-talking-about-look. Then daddy looked at me and said, “Wait for it… wait for it.” Then mom burst out laughing. Good one daddy. I.D.-10-T form. Look at that my friends. It spells IDIOT. Now who wants a form for the new hair bun look? Snorts with piggy laughing.
Snorts with piggy laughter! My mom and dad they are *always* getting into some type of trouble somewhere doing something. They went to a local bar and grill and picked up these matchsticks. Mom didn’t think anything of them when she put them on the counter. I walked over to investigate because it’s what I do. It was something new in the house and frankly I’ve never seen this thing called matchsticks before.
So I picked the pack up with my mouth and read the package. Oh my piggy heavens. Where do my parents go and hang out without me?
What the cream cheese?! I’m serious. My mom and dad do not find trouble. Trouble finds them. I’m serious. You don’t believe me? Okay. Let me show you.
This is exhibit A. This is a real book in the book store written by Ira Alterman. You see it was all innocent. Mom and dad went to a vintage book store to find us anipals some new reading material for our bedtime stories. That is when dad found this book. Mom and dad had a fit and laughed like little kids. I mean I don’t know what the big deal is really. We do have a fat pussy here at the Hotel Thompson and her name is Mouse Girl. Snorts and rolls with piggy laughter.
And no they didn’t buy the book. Can you believe it was $100.00?! Mom said they could keep the fat pussy. Snorts!
What at is the craziest book title you have ever seen?
I don’t think mom’s sweet tooth will be calling any time soon these days – snorts. Mom and dad went to the market for some Little Debbie’s. I don’t think this is what she had in mind.
She was just standing there looking at all of the different cakes trying to decide just chatting away about this and that. Then dad said she almost jumped over the buggy into his arms. He was completely taken off guard until he looked up and saw this guy looking out at the world.
The next thing he heard was giggles and looked over his shoulder to see a couple of boys laughing like crazy. Then dad did the most amazingly stupid thing I’ve ever heard him do. He walked towards the boys with mom saying, “Get em”.
He walked up to the two lads and what did he do? He gave them high fives. Oh daddy. Why do you go to the market with mom? You always get in trouble there. Snorts – XOXO – Bacon
I was a bad piggy. I mean a really naughty piggy. Do you understand when I say a Deviled ham, lost my mind, had an out of body experience, went stupid for a moment kind of bad oinker?
Last night every thing was going just fine. Mom fed me my evening snack of an apple and I was eating it. Well, dad started scratching my hind quarters. I didn’t like it. Not the apple, the scratching. I turned around and went all ninja pig on poor unexpecting daddy.
It wasn’t just a bark or a snort. It was full ninja pig running up the side of the couch, biting dad shirt and pulling on it. I’m not really sure who was more surprised. Me, dad or mom.
We all kind of freaked out for a minute. Then mom jumped into action telling me no and to go to my room. I knew I was in trouble with the tone in moms voice. I felt like Kevin in the movie Home Alone when he gets sent to the third floor to sleep for time out. Mom was ticked.
I served time for my crime and then mom came to my room and we had a little prayer meeting. I went and apologized to daddy and made up with him. Afterwards, I got on the couch with mom for a few minutes for snuggles. Just enough snuggles to know that mommy loves me and was not mad at me.
Don’t think I got off that easily though. I had to go to bed early without a bed time story and without a carrot on my pillow. That bites.
Miniature pot bellied pig and friends - Bacon, Houdini, Hemi and all of the Rock Clan with Journalist Rocky the Squirrel all out looking for adventures from the Hotel Thompson.
Piglove 