Dear Bacon

Hey friends – I’m stepping in for big brother Bacon this week since he is away at Summer Camp.  I hope I brought him so justice – enjoy! ❤ Houdini

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Dear Houdini – This is not funny.  Really it’s not.  My human is crazy.  Can you save me please?  Signed Potato in Waiting

Dear Potato in Waiting – BARKS!  I gotta admit that it’s a little funny.  Really think about it.  How many anipals can say they look like a hot potato and you are hot.  I say save the look for Halloween and go for it.  You will win so many contests for originality and beauty.

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Dear Houdini – I heard about your accident the other day with a pillow that exploded at the Hotel Thompson.  I *know* you can relate.  You *have* to relate.  I was sitting on the front porch minding my own business when this cushion suddenly blew up for no apparent reason.  I was just as shocked as everyone else.  Signed Mystified

Dear Mystified – I know!  It’s unbelievable how those things happen out of the blue – spontaneous combustion does happen.  It is highly documented.  I think pillows only do this when dogs are around so that we can personally take the blame.  Yeah – that has to be it.  Surely it’s not because of something us sweet devout pooches did.  No way!  I say cover yourself my friend.  No camera documentation means you didn’t do it.  I’m sticking to that story and you should too!

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Dear Houdini – I know you are just a mere dog but let me tell you something, I’ve earned my stripes.  I’m fierce.  I’m strong.  I’m a rocking cat that can shake your world if you don’t obey me.  You just remember that about us cats okay.  Cats rule and dogs drool!  Signed Stripes

Dear Stripes – Barks and laughter!   Wait a minute while I pick myself up from laughing and rolling around here on the floor.  Cats rule and dogs drool – too funny.  Okay maybe we dogs do drool when we are excited but there is no way that cats rule – sorry Hemi and Mouse Girl here.  Us doggies are higher on the who is in charge chain.  And your stripes – oh my dog!  Really?  Walk away from the sun my friend and tell me about those stripes then – Barks!

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Dear Houdini – There I was sitting on the sofa from another long day of working on the farm.  I was so exhausted.  I had the television on for sound and that’s when I saw it.  A commercial for a dating service for Farmers Only.  WOW!  I never knew it existed.  Do you think I have a chance with a lady?  Signed Stetson

Dear Stetson – YES you do.  We all have chances.  And how could anyone say no to a cowboy hat?  Mommy says those are hot!

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Dear Houdini – There is a problem with this slide.  Really there is.  I slide down it all of the time.  But this date, I did’t slide.  What the hamster world happened?  Signed Stuck

Dear Stuck – Perhaps it was too dry to slide down. Perhaps you have more fluff than usual and it was a little tight?  It could happen.  I know sometimes my t-shirts get a little snug like that and I have to cut back a bit.  And then perhaps you just need a gentle push?  Call me if you need some assistance.  I’ll get the jaws of life out to get you out of a tight spot.  In the meantime, take it easy okay.

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Remember Dear Bacon can’t happen without you my friends.  Keep your letters and pictures coming to my email.

 

Dear Bacon

Dear Bacon – There is *always* that one friend.  You know the one that ‘dares’ you to do something and says, “What are you afraid”?  Why did I have to fall for it.  Can you tell me that?  And then if that wasn’t bad enough, Ethel has to then photobomb me and take a picture for her Facebook account.  Dude, I long for the days before all of this social media.  Signed Jack

Dear Jack – WOW.  I see that you are in a predicament my friend.  I don’t even know Ethel dared you to do but the how the heck did you get out of that funky position?  Of course, for payback and before she photobombed you all you had to do was lift that left leg in a strategic position and that would smack that smirk right off of her face – snorts.  You know friend, this just screams for payback.  And make it GOOD.  I mean really GOOD.  And then post it on your Facebook account… or perhaps get Christmas cards made.  Now that sounds like a plan of destruction.  Keep me posted with the results and don’t take any more dares anytime soon okay.

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Dear Bacon – HA!  This will teach my humans.  I ran away from home and they have yet to find me.  What do you think?  Am I the master of disguises or what?  Signed Hide N Seek Master

Dear Hide N Seek Master – You are the boss my friend.  I had to take several looks myself to see which ‘rock’ was you.  And your parents haven’t found you yet.  That’s so awesome.  Just remember to come out in time for dinner okay.

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Dear Bacon – They said I could do and be anything I wanted.  So I decided I wanted to water ski.  And let me tell you something – it is fantastic!  So invigorating.  It makes me feel like I weigh nothing at all.  I highly recommend it my friend.  Signed Weightless

Dear Weightless – You know you have my interest piqued now my friend.  I think I may try this soon… especially since mom/dad are sending me to this awful thing called C.A.M.P.  Stay safe.

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Dear Bacon – Have you ever just had one of those days that you needed a little something to take the edge off?  This was me last weekend.  I just couldn’t take chasing the postman anymore… or tying up and blaming the cat for everything.  I needed a little liquid refreshment in a place where everyone knew my name and it was a fun place.  And hey, this wine is awesome.  Have you ever felt like this?  Signed Stud at the Bar

Dear Stud at the Bar – Oh yes indeed.  There are days that I feel the world is overcoming me… especially this past weekend.  We could have met up my friend.  Perhaps split a bottle of Francis Ford Coppola wine and whined on each other’s shoulders or downfalls in life in general.  I’m sure it would have been a blast.  Call me next time okay.

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Dear Bacon – I’m not sure my son gets the full effect of my look here.  This is my what.do.you.mean.you.want.to.stay.out.all. night.long.partying.look.  Does it work for you?  Do I need to change something for more of an effect?  Any suggestions?  Signed Dad in Charge

Dear Dad in Charge – I think you have the look down pact.  Did you follow it with, “Not while you are living under my roof?” and “While you are living under my roof, you will obey my rules”?  That usually works when my dad uses them on us anipals here at the Hotel Thompson.  Maybe take away his allowance.  That *always* hurts this little oinker where it counts.  Good luck with your son my friend.  Just think of these as his teenage rocky years.

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Remember my friends – Dear Bacon can’t happen without YOU.  Please continue to send me your letters and pictures to my email address.  🙂

 

 

Dear Bacon

Dear Bacon,
I just thought I would stick my head in to say hey little pig.  I read your blog every week.  Love your answers.  You’re smart for a little oinker.  If you ever want to hang out, just give me a call.  Signed Jeffery

Dear Jeffery,

WOW!  Thanks for stopping by.  You are really tall.  Do you play basketball?  I think you would be awesome in it.  Just think about the fortune and fame my friend.  I’ll be giving you a call soon to hang out.  I think we would have a ball in my magical back yard.  Do you know there are unicorns back there?  AND I think I’ve seen Bigfoot back there once or twice as well.  There’s no telling what we could find together.  Be on the look out for my call!

 

 

Dear Bacon,
Sometimes, you just need that one place you can find that you can call all yours to get a quick forty winks.  I found mine.  Too bad for daddy.  He will just have to wear different shoes today.  Signed Shoesleeper

Dear Shoesleeper,
Hey, if it fits – you must sits.  You really kind of look comfortable all asleep there in your palace.  I mean heck, if the old lady can live in her shoe – why can’t you? Right?  A cat has his rights too in this world.  You might as well hang a sign off of those shoelaces that say, “No Vacancy” so your daddy can find him a new pair of shoes for the future!

 

Dear Bacon,
What?  I’m just hanging out in my home riding my bike.  Doesn’t every dog dress up and fantasize about that old show CHiPS?  I think I’m more of the Erik Estrada character – you think?  I’ll tell you a secret but you can’t tell anyone.  These black boots are my favorites!  Sometimes when no one is looking, I like to walk around the house singing, “These boots are made for walking… and that’s just what I’ll do… one of these days these boots are going to walk all over you… come on boots!”  Ssshh- that’s our secret.  Signed Ponch

Dear Ponch,
I got nothing on this one.  You go my friend.

 

Dear Bacon,
Hey ladies.  This is where you can find me every day during the week. I”m just sunning myself, getting my sleep on and advertising what you got missing in your lives.  Come around and see me if you get a chance.  Signed SuperStud

Dear SuperStud,
Well, someone is feeling confident these days, aren’t they?  I do admit, you do look well comfortable.  Hey, if you can’t brag about yourselves, who can, right? You just work it my friend and be happy.  YOLO – You only live once – go for it.

 

 

Dear Bacon,
LOL – in 3, 2, 1 – the humans will be yelling for the sacred paper on a roll.  When they weren’t looking, I took it from their special place that they call the human scratch box.  They like to take their time cleaning out my box.  We shall see how they like it when they don’t have their special roll.  Insert evil purr/laugh.  Signed EvilPuss

Dear EvilPuss,
You are so playing with fire there my friend.  Even the purr things here don’t mess with the sacred roll in the human scratch box.  That is a HUGE No-No.  That’s like signing your own walking papers.  You really might want to rethink that.

 

Remember Friends – Keep sending your pictures/questions to me at Baconthompson@gmail.com