Dear Bacon – I’ve made a grave mistake. There was a hole in the back of this contraption. I crawled in and when I did, it shut closed. Now I’m stuck… I feel like a squirrel on display for the world to see. The birds are pointing and laughing at me. What am I to do? Help? Signed Mannequin Squirrel
Dear Mannequin Squirrel – WOW! What can I say? You do look awesome with your mannequin display. I can say perhaps you should enjoy what you can… maybe take a seat and a quick bite of that delightful feed. By the time you get done with your dinner, maybe the owner of the house will see you in your tight spot and help you out. If not, can you jump and push the top off for a quick escape? And don’t worry about the birds pointing and laughing. Might you remind them that you have plenty of food to eat while you wait unlike them – snorts.
Dear Bacon – We like to put the warning out there for the humans. If you cross the metal gates leading into our kingdom, be warned. You will experience a death like no other from the ankles down. We may be small and short but we have sharp teeth like a shark. Just sayin’. Does your little brother do the same? Signed Harley and Davidson
Dear Harley and Davidson – Awesome idea my friends. Truth is in the advertising. If peeps are dumb enough to cross that warning, their ankles deserve what they get. And yes. Houdini has the sharpest teeth that I’ve ever felt. That’s right – I said felt. I feel them when he tries to hang off of my piggy tail and swing back and forth like I’m an amusement park. The little guy has no respect for this pig – he thinks I’m his personal jungle gym.
Dear Bacon – Honestly. I was asleep the entire time that the master was away. Really I was. When I woke up, the front room cushions exploded. I didn’t hear a thing! Exploded I tell you. Of course, I’m getting the blame. But really it wasn’t me. Signed Lab Shredder
Dear Lab Shredder – Darn those dust bunnies for striking again! I believe you my friend. I really do. Dust bunnies sound cute and look kind of cute but all alone they can be little vultures that wreak havoc all over the house blaming us anipals. Shakes and shivers from fear. They can’t be trusted at all. No way! I say you need to hunt them down one by one and take care of them. As far as you getting the blame for this. If it wasn’t on video and there is nothing concrete showing you did it, I say they have to let you walk my friend. No evidence means NOT GUILTY. Lowers my hammer in my court room and says dismissed.
Dear Bacon – It’s really not what it looks like. Me and my friend were playing leap frog. We see frogs do it all of the time and we thought we would try it. We turned on the camera and started. We posted this on Instagram and everyone went crazy saying that we were multi-flying. No honestly we weren’t. We were just playing a game. What do you think? Signed Doris and Rock
Dear Doris and Rock – Snorts with piggy laughter. Whatever you kids are calling it this day, sure. Just be safe my friends.
.
REMEMBER friends. Dear Bacon can’t happen without YOU. Please continue to send me your pictures and questions via email.
Dear Bacon – I’ve made a grave mistake here. I thought I could jump over the little seat thing that kids swing on… I really did. I jumped and mean old Mr. Gravity said, “Nope, not today”. I really hate that guy. So I guess you can say I’m stuck between a swing and hard place.. .namely the ground. Any suggestions cause apparently my human who thinks it is hilarious is too busy taking my picture to lend me a paw. Crazy human. Signed Swinger
Dear Swinger – You know that’s the problem these days. When anything happens, humans want to pull out their cell phones and take videos or pictures instead of lending a helping hand. I don’t get it? Burning car on the highway – no problems let me video tape it first before checking for survivors. House on fire – oh yeah this will be good on my Facebook before putting the fire out. Dog caught with his kibbles and bits up in the air – no worries. Let’s get this picture first before the pooch passes out or by all means gets unlatched himself. I definitely feel you my friend. Can you bounce up with your front paws to get your back paws back on the ground and then wiggle out from that contraption? Let me know if I need to call someone…. I’m hoping you are free like the wind now 🙂
Dear Bacon – I *know* I saw that darned squirrel on this tree. I know I did. He was running around on the ground taunting me. I know he’s here somewhere. If you see him, let me know okay. Signed Hunter
Dear Hunter – Oh my friend, I’ve seen him alright. He’s a sneaky sly little fellow. I would go as far as to say that he has skills of unnatural means. Put your paws down on the ground silently. Now just as silently and be careful of the crunch of the leaves, slowly walk around the trunk of that massive tree. Quiet now. You don’t want to scare the little fellow. You may find him around on the other side watching you… waiting for you to leave. Smart little guy huh? Enjoy playing tag my friend.
Dear Bacon – I don’t get it. I found this wonderful food on the ground. It’s awesome! So much chocolate. There I was sitting in my tree enjoying it. That’s when the weird stuff happened that I don’t get. My friends kept walking by and saying, “Georgia eat a Snickers bar. You know you’re not you when you’re hungry”. Shakes head in confusion. I don’t get it. Do you? Between you and me though, that Snickers bar did hit the spot. Signed George
Dear George – Snorts with piggy laughter. You don’t watch television much do you my friend? You see there were some wonderful Snickers commercials out some time ago that had the saying, “You’re not you when you’re hungry”. Okay, maybe the better thing to do here is to show you one of them…. one of my favorites. Then it will ALL make sense. Enjoy my friend.
Dear Bacon – I think the purr things here are pranking me. They said they had a surprise for me. They then told me I had to put my paws over my eyes and stay that way until they came back. That was three days ago. Do you think it’s save to go to the bathroom. I really, REALLY need to go now? Signed Waiting
Dear Waiting – Shakes head. Oh my friend. Don’t you know yet that purr things are horrific for doing such things to us? The two here try to do these things to me as well. But I don’t fall for it. You can never trust a purr thing – sorry my cat friends. But you know it’s true to. Ya’ll are beyond devious and you have so much training from years and years of taking care of yourselves. I bow down to you. I really do. So why don’t ya’ll do all of us a favor and leave us alone. And Waiting – by all means go to the potty before you explode like a balloon.
Dear Bacon – My humans are wickedly bad at this torture. They really are. There we were watching some superheros on our television. I was minding my own business and just enjoying the company on the couch. My dad said that all superheros need a mask. He was eating a sandwich so well you can see what he did. Why? That’s all I really need to say, right? Why? Signed Masked Bandit
Dear Masked Bandit – Oh my friend. You have to give your dad something on creativity. And you have to admit that it is pretty cute. No one would ever guess that’s you behind the bread. Nope not at all!
REMEMBER friends. Dear Bacon can’t happen without YOU. Please continue to send me your pictures and questions via email.
Hey friends – I’m stepping in for big brother Bacon this week since he is away at Summer Camp. I hope I brought him so justice – enjoy! ❤ Houdini
Dear Houdini – This is not funny. Really it’s not. My human is crazy. Can you save me please? Signed Potato in Waiting
Dear Potato in Waiting – BARKS! I gotta admit that it’s a little funny. Really think about it. How many anipals can say they look like a hot potato and you are hot. I say save the look for Halloween and go for it. You will win so many contests for originality and beauty.
Dear Houdini – I heard about your accident the other day with a pillow that exploded at the Hotel Thompson. I *know* you can relate. You *have* to relate. I was sitting on the front porch minding my own business when this cushion suddenly blew up for no apparent reason. I was just as shocked as everyone else. Signed Mystified
Dear Mystified – I know! It’s unbelievable how those things happen out of the blue – spontaneous combustion does happen. It is highly documented. I think pillows only do this when dogs are around so that we can personally take the blame. Yeah – that has to be it. Surely it’s not because of something us sweet devout pooches did. No way! I say cover yourself my friend. No camera documentation means you didn’t do it. I’m sticking to that story and you should too!
.
Dear Houdini – I know you are just a mere dog but let me tell you something, I’ve earned my stripes. I’m fierce. I’m strong. I’m a rocking cat that can shake your world if you don’t obey me. You just remember that about us cats okay. Cats rule and dogs drool! Signed Stripes
Dear Stripes – Barks and laughter! Wait a minute while I pick myself up from laughing and rolling around here on the floor. Cats rule and dogs drool – too funny. Okay maybe we dogs do drool when we are excited but there is no way that cats rule – sorry Hemi and Mouse Girl here. Us doggies are higher on the who is in charge chain. And your stripes – oh my dog! Really? Walk away from the sun my friend and tell me about those stripes then – Barks!
Dear Houdini – There I was sitting on the sofa from another long day of working on the farm. I was so exhausted. I had the television on for sound and that’s when I saw it. A commercial for a dating service for Farmers Only. WOW! I never knew it existed. Do you think I have a chance with a lady? Signed Stetson
Dear Stetson – YES you do. We all have chances. And how could anyone say no to a cowboy hat? Mommy says those are hot!
Dear Houdini – There is a problem with this slide. Really there is. I slide down it all of the time. But this date, I did’t slide. What the hamster world happened? Signed Stuck
Dear Stuck – Perhaps it was too dry to slide down. Perhaps you have more fluff than usual and it was a little tight? It could happen. I know sometimes my t-shirts get a little snug like that and I have to cut back a bit. And then perhaps you just need a gentle push? Call me if you need some assistance. I’ll get the jaws of life out to get you out of a tight spot. In the meantime, take it easy okay.
Remember Dear Bacon can’t happen without you my friends. Keep your letters and pictures coming to my email.
Oh my friends. This is Mouse Girl. We call her MG or sometimes OMG (oh Mouse Girl) – snorts. She is Pissed at daddy. That’s right – that’s Pissed with a capital P. You know that means business. Shakes piggy head. She is giving daddy the back, the shoulder, not talking to him and won’t come to him. I told you. She means business.
For her to be this mad, you know daddy had to do something really bad. I mean, she ❤ her daddy. She thinks he walks on water and does no wrong. Well… that was before the incident. Oh yes my friends. There was an incident this past weekend. An incident that can not be forgiven any time soon. An incident that shall be remembered in the mind of MG forever and ever amen. You want to know what happened? Come closer and I’ll tell you. I can’t say it too loud in case MG is listening. Okay, you ready?
.
Like me here at the Hotel Thompson, Mouse Girl and Hemi are slightly spoiled. Just a bit. They don’t know that they are purr things. In fact, do any of us here really know that we are not humans? That’s probably the better question. These two purr things don’t think they need to drink from a bowl. Oh no. That’s way too common for them. They have to drink from the pedestal sink in the bathroom. They are insistent too. In fact, we have to keep the bathroom door closed because if not they would be in there constantly playing and partaking in their “personal water fountain”… rolls piggy eyes. Here’s a picture of them together on their grazing fountain:
This picture was taken a while back when both were a lot smaller but you get the idea. Well, Hemi can jump straight from the floor to the sink. He’s flexible like that – go Ninja skills. But Mouse Girl, well she’s a little hefty on the back side as you can see from the first recent picture of her back – snorts. She has to jump on the commode and then jump on the sink. It’s a system that works for her. That is until this weekend.
You see when the toilet seat is down or the lid is closed, it’s fine to jump on, balance and then jump on the sink. But this past weekend someone left the seat completely up. That person shall remain nameless oh man of the house who forgot to lower the seat which is the way it should always be left. Attention women – are you following me now? Let me remind you though that although I am a man piggy, I do not lift the seat or use these facilities. I have my own potty patch in my bedroom that I keep clean. Just so you know. Direct hate male of leaving the toilet seat up to Man of the House, Hotel Thompson. Snorts.
Let me set the picture up for you. It was the middle of the night. Daddy had went to the bathroom and came back to bed. Mommy decided she should go as well. She stumbles down the hall in a half asleep/half awake mode while Mouse Girl follows. Mom hardly ever turns on the light in the middle of the night during one of these visits. She opens the door to the bathroom and Mouse Girl walks into the room. Then she heard SPLASH!
You *KNOW* this did not end well. When mommy heard the SPLASH, she flipped on the light. OMP (oh my pig!) Mouse Girl was soaking wet and stuck in the toilet fussing. Not hurt and nowhere near drowning but stuck and super soaked. It was not a happy moment for her. On one hand, mommy wanted to say thank you because it could have been her. On the other hand, mommy wanted to laugh because that was one soaked kitty. And then on the other foot, poor Mouse Girl. Then, mom said those famous words, “Honey, you need to come in here.”
Daddy fussed and stumbled down the hallway. I have to admit that he was semi-asleep up until the point he got to the bathroom and heard Mouse Girl meowing and fussing. And then mom fussing at him about this is quote, “Why, we don’t leave the lid UP”. Mommy finally got Mouse Girl out, bathed her a second time and dried her off. All of this around 2:00AM. Mouse Girl has been mad at daddy every since… with a good reason don’t you think? Snorts.
Your parents ever do something like this with consequences? Do tell.
Miniature pot bellied pig and friends - Bacon, Houdini, Hemi and all of the Rock Clan with Journalist Rocky the Squirrel all out looking for adventures from the Hotel Thompson.
Dear Bacon – I’ve made a grave mistake. There was a hole in the back of this contraption. I crawled in and when I did, it shut closed. Now I’m stuck… I feel like a squirrel on display for the world to see. The birds are pointing and laughing at me. What am I to do? Help? Signed Mannequin Squirrel
Dear Bacon – It’s really not what it looks like. Me and my friend were playing leap frog. We see frogs do it all of the time and we thought we would try it. We turned on the camera and started. We posted this on Instagram and everyone went crazy saying that we were multi-flying. No honestly we weren’t. We were just playing a game. What do you think? Signed Doris and Rock
Oh my friends. This is Mouse Girl. We call her MG or sometimes OMG (oh Mouse Girl) – snorts. She is Pissed at daddy. That’s right – that’s Pissed with a capital P. You know that means business. Shakes piggy head. She is giving daddy the back, the shoulder, not talking to him and won’t come to him. I told you. She means business.
This picture was taken a while back when both were a lot smaller but you get the idea. Well, Hemi can jump straight from the floor to the sink. He’s flexible like that – go Ninja skills. But Mouse Girl, well she’s a little hefty on the back side as you can see from the first recent picture of her back – snorts. She has to jump on the commode and then jump on the sink. It’s a system that works for her. That is until this weekend.
Piglove 
