Dear Bacon

Dear Bacon – Hey there.  Our names are Chill and Squeal.  We are pleased to meet you piggy.  We would love to meet you one day and have some fun. It sounds like we have a lot in common – play, eating, hiding, eating, rolling around, eating, hibernating until Spring, eating.  See, don’t you think?  And don’t worry about Chill’s sharp teeth in his picture.  He doesn’t use them much.  Signed Chill and Squeal

Dear Chill and Squeal – Well don’t ya’ll look like hospitality charm.  I say if you are in the area, check me out.  I’m all for new adventures – especially when eating is involved.  Perhaps we can give the purr things here a run for their money.  Just sayin’.  And what cute little sweaters – adorable!

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Dear Bacon -ssshh – don’t say a word.  We are playing hide and go seek from the purr things.  I think we found *the* spot.  We have been under here for almost two hours and the purr things haven’t even been in the room.  Awesome huh?  Signed Hide and Seek

Dear Hide and Seek –  Playing with the purr things, huh?  First let me commend you on your hiding spot.  It is most excellent indeed.  Secondly let me tell you something about pesky purr things.  They put you up to hide – are you ready for this? – to get ricd of you.  And to think, they succeeded for two hours in not having you around.  My friends, this calls for payback.  Go hide their kitty boxes.  I dare say *that* would be the ultimate pay back in hide and seek.  And maybe that would teach them not to mess with the dogs!.

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 Dear Bacon –  There is nothing to do in the winter weather except crawl up in front of the fireplace, don some glasses and read the great American novel.  Here I am reading about Rin-Tin-Tin.  It’s a great read full of adventures that we just can’t do in these cold months ourselves.  What’s your favorite thing to do in the cold months?  Signed Sir Chomps

Dear Sir Chomps –  Awesome my friend.  Reading is a great way to pass the time and live in another place for a while.  These cold months can be so awful and cold.  My favorite thing in the winter is being wrapped in my king sized Egyptian cotton sheet and dreaming of days of warmth and fun in the Spring.  It’s a great way to stay warm..

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Dear Bacon – You talk about your piggy bed all of the time.  I just wanted to show you mine.  Here I am chilling in the morning after the staff have went to work.  It’s my favorite part of the day.  A great nap followed by a snack following by another nap before the people get home.  You like?  Signed Dog in a Bed

Dear Dog in a Bed –  Hey, you are *MY* kind of friend.  I love me some sleep somewhere comfy and warm.  I say go for it!  And your routine ROCKS!  One can never have too many naps or snacks.

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Dear Bacon – I just had *that* surgery where the aliens came down and kidnapped my best friends if you know what I mean.  The only great thing is they sent me home all drugged… which I highly recommend.  Thank goodness I read about this procedure from when your Houdini had his so I knew what to expect from the alien invasion.  Dude, those little green guys can be vicious can’t they?  Signed I’m a Happy Dog

Dear I’m a Happy Dog –  Happy huh?  I know that’s the medicine talking pal.  Just think in a couple of days, the aliens will have erased all of this pain and discomfort from your mind.  Until then, enjoy the drugs 🙂

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REMEMBER FRIENDS – Dear Bacon can’t happen without YOU.  Please keep sending me your pictures and questions to my email. 🙂

 

Daddy is Cheating on Mommy

I KNOW!

I was so shocked myself.  I couldn’t believe it and I heard it my friends.  Mommy was at the worky place and I was in my bedroom taking a nap.  That’s when it happened.  I heard a girls voice.  I was like, “That’s not mommy”.  I put my head to my bedroom door and listened.  What the cream cheese?  Daddy was in the front room talking to a girl!

Of course I eavesdropped.  I think mom would understand in this situation.  I mean this is concerning family and family is first… right?

I heard daddy ask, “Siri, who’s your daddy?”  That’s the hoochies name – Siri?  What kind of name is that?  But get this my friends.  This Siri chick responded, “You are.”  WTP (what the pig)!?  This trumpet called Siri is flirting with my dad?  Is she crazy?  That’s my daddy!  She can’t be doing this.

And then I heard daddy ask, “Siri, why did the chicken cross the road?”  I tell you my daddy is strange.  Why would he be asking this cornflake this question?  But again get this – this Siri chick replied, “I do not know the motivations of chickens.”  What a smarty!

Then daddy said, “Siri, you’re the best.”  Piggy down – THUD.  What has daddy done?  And Siri said, “Thank you.  So are you.”  NNNOO!!!  This has got to stop.  Who is this scarlet?

I heard laughing from daddy.  And then daddy said, “Siri, tell me a joke.”  Siri said, “The past, the future and the present walked into a bar.  It was a tense situation.”  Daddy rolled with laughter.  I don’t get it.

I couldn’t take it anymore.  I had to put my hooves down and take my daddy back before mommy found out about this situation.  I squealed like I’ve never squealed before – at the top of my lungs and scratching my bedroom door.  That got dad’s attention.  He came running to my bedroom and opened my door.  I ran out of that room like it was on fire straight into the front room to find said hooch.  Nothing.  No one.  Nada.  Where did she go?  I heard her.  I know she was there.  I checked everywhere.  And still nothing.

What’s a pig to do now?

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NOTE:  This post is all in fun.  Siri is actually put out by Apple products.  Siri is the personal assistant that you can talk to on products such as the i-Pad or i-Phone.  You can place phone calls, make appointments, and ask general questions to just about anything.

 

31 Days of Spook – Noise in the Night

What would *YOU* do my friends?  Would you hide?  Would you shake with fear?  Scream?  Pass Out? Run?

This is the question.  You’re home alone.  It’s the middle of the night.  You hear some strange noise coming from the basement.  You go check it out because it can’t possibly be anything bad.  You look down the stairs and you see this “beast”.  OMP!  What do you do?

Personally, up first I would pee on myself.  No questions asked – I would make it rain like it has *never* rained before.  Second, I would squeal to the high piggy heavens and thirdly – take off running!

Now, all of these things would happen really, really fast.  Wee, squeal and RUN!

What would you do?  Discuss.

 

My Friends

Okay, how many takers do I have here with this funny?  Are you weird, deranged, freaky or just plain nutty like me?  Do you not care who knows it?

I’m raising my hoof.  I’m me. I’m one of a kind.  I have ups and downs.  I laugh, snort, cry and squeal like a rooster/dog.  I run and jump, play and sleep.  I have fun.

I meet new friends and remember my old friends.  I foam at the mouth when I’m excited.  I fart when I overeat.  Hey, it’s who I am.

But in the end, I’ll be your friend through thick and thin!  ❤ you my friends – old and new!

 

7 Weeks of Weird

Today my new friend here is highlighting 7 weeks of weird in “Weirdest random fact about yourself”.  This can be something I’ve done, something I would like to do or somewhere I’ve been.

Goodness, this another hard week that required lots of thinking.  Personally there is only one weird fact that I can come up with but it’s about mom.  Mommy has a really weird fact.  Mommy doesn’t do seeds very well.  In fact, she doesn’t do them at all.  IF she goes to a restaurant and the waitress/waiter happens to put a lemon in her water, dad will have to (1) remove said lemon and all seeds that floated away in the water or (2) if there are too many seeds, request another water.  That’s how bad mommy is with seeds.  And don’t get me started about seeds in watermelons.  Mom has pictures of her dad taking the seeds out of watermelon and feeding it to her when she was a baby (see it goes way back).  Daddy does this now for mommy.  Weird huh?

 

7 Weeks of Weird

Today my new friend here is highlighting 7 weeks of weird in “Weirdest Way You’ve Earned Money”.

Now this week is a little more difficult.  WOW – the weirdest way I’ve earned money.  It took me a LOT of thinking on this.  I mean for obvious reasons – snorts – I personally don’t need money.  I just use mom/dad’s credit cards 🙂  But there are times that daddy has told me to step up to the plate to keep me in piggy chow.  I mean I don’t need green backs but I can be paid in other ways concerning my pot-belly.  Let’s review what I’ve done the past several piggy years shall we.

When mom’s friends have parties for their children, sometimes they ask mom to bring me over.  I get to walk around snorting and having a fun time.  The kids love playing with me.  I usually get paid in food.  I’ve gotten entire watermelons, squash, lettuce and carrots.  Hey – I was a happy piggy 🙂

Daddy’s weirdest job he ever had?  He worked many years in a mental health institution.  The stories he can tell – snorts!  They would blow your mind.

Mom’s weirdest job she ever had?  She used to work as a phone operator in an answering service.  She has a great voice – 🙂

 

7 Weeks of Weird

Today my new friend here is highlighting 7 weeks of weird in “Weirdest things you collect”.

This is a really easy week.  It really is.  I think most of my friends here know that I collect a really weird item.  What?  You don’t know?  Sure you do.  I collect pet rocks. 🙂   You think that’s weird enough?

You know that it all started with my first pet rock Bashful.  He was a gift.  He’s my little international rolling stone and travels around the world visiting my friends and having fun. He looks so innocent and has an innocent name but don’t let that fool you.  He’s quite the ladies rock – snorts.  Every time he goes somewhere, he always brings home a friend.

His friends include Princess Coralena from Hawaii, Manny from France, Rockelle from Australia, Virginia from Virginia,  Benedict Cumberock from the United Kingdom and Koishi from Japan.

 

This Is What Nightmares Are Made Out Of

My Aunt Tina recently emailed me something frightening – I mean out of this world frightening.  So frightening that I should have saved this post for one of my Bacon’s Tales of Terror postings.  Deep breaths here.

Here you go – may I present to you what my Aunt Tina found in the Chicago, Illinois area – Choco-Bacon-Bar – piggy down – THUD.

Someone save me.  I may need mouth to mouth to resuscitate me.  I understand milk chocolate.  But milk chocolate with BACON BITS?!  Oh dear piggy heavens.  I need all my bacon bits.  I can’t afford to lose my bacon bits.  Someone help a pig out here!  It’s not good being on the food chain – squeal!

 

7 Weeks of Weird

Okay I’m late to the band wagon.  What can I say.  I need to get out more, meet and greet more people.  That’s my goal for the rest of the year.  Let people know that moi – a mere pig – writes a blog.  Today, I noticed some of my friends with 7 weeks of weird in their blog.  I went to the source and made a new friend here.  I hope she accepts my friendship.  This is the neatest idea of 7 weeks of weird well since sliced bread… and peanut butter and jelly.  Who can get enough of that combination?  Snorts – now I’m hungry.  Great.

In today’s 7 weeks of weird, it focuses on “What is the weirdest habit/routine you have?”  I can do this.  My weirdest habit.  Don’t laugh okay.  This is something that I’ve never spoke of before.  When I eat my food out of my bowl.  I have to walk around my bowl while eating in a clockwise fashion.  I can’t just stop and eat.  I have to keep moving around my bowl.  It’s not like the food changes.  I just like the action of moving.  I think deep down I believe if I keep moving around the bowl (1) that’s exercise and I’m burning calories so I can eat more and (2) the bowl might sprout more food.  You never know – snorts.

My weird routine?  This one took some thinking.  I’ve come up with one that is intriguing and believe it or not, daddy helped me come up with it.  In the evenings after dinner, I like to sit on the sofa and cuddle with mommy.  I don’t want any help getting on the sofa.  I’m a big pig now.  I can do it myself.  BUT, I can only get up on the left side of mommy – never the right and never jump directly in her lap.  It has to be to the left and *I* have to do it myself.  If she helps, I will squeal and have a piggy tantrum so loud in protest that the house will shake here at the Hotel Thompson.

So, I hope these are two weird things that you didn’t know about moi – your friendly little pig with a blog.  I’m off to take a nap now.  Catch you on the downside.

 

Special Thank You To My Buddy Stuart

 SQUEAL!!

Yep, you probably heard me SQUEALING all the way where you live this past weekend.  I got mail! A package addressed to moi – Bacon Thompson here at the Hotel Thompson.  I was so very excited.  I tore opened the package with a vengeance ever so carefully to see what was inside of the brown box.

SQUEAL!!

It was a talking oinking bag clip that my buddy Stuart sent me from Smithfield, Virginia.  Stuart most have been reading my diary to find out how much I absolutely ❤ potato chips and such.  This clip will so come in handy.  Yes sir it sure will.  With this awesome oinking clip, I will know exactly when daddy is in my food – snorts.

Thanks pal of mine Stuart – I ❤ you back with all my piggy heart!