Poor daddy. Maybe he needs some lessons in spelling – snorts. I’m not sure but as usual I’m getting ahead of myself. Let me back up just a bit my friends.
This past weekend, my mom and dad went out unchaperoned again. Sigh – you know this means trouble somehow someway – snorts. It was early in the morning and when they came back they were groaning about being full. Mom said she ate too much and dad was heading for the Mylanta. Glutinous I’m telling you. I mean *I* would never overeat… double snorts. I don’t know where they get that from.
Later in the day, daddy was talking to mommy and he started spelling. At first, I was like that’s great daddy. You are really coming along with those big words. Then I realized what he was spelling and I was like wait a minute. He kept at it though, talking to mommy and spelling B-A-C-O-N. Why was he spelling my name?
It didn’t make sense to me to spell out my name, rub their bellies and talk about how good it was. This piggy was terribly confused during the conversation. And then dad asked mommy if she took the picture and she said yes. So then I just knew there had to be a picture of something on mom’s cell phone. Then mommy mentioned my cousin Sammy and how he has B-A-C-O-N every Saturday. With this, I just *knew* something was up.
I mean Sammy eats bacon every Saturday and then it dawned on me. They were eating P.I.G. Gulp – that’s why daddy was spelling. This can’t be good. I mean daddy was like overjoyed about how something tasted so wonderful that morning. What in the heck could it be coming from a P.I.G. that tasted good? I couldn’t imagine… cause you know Hemi has bitten me before and then spit because I didn’t taste good. So this little oinker had a mission to get ahold of mom’s cell phone when she wasn’t looking.
After she went to take a nap, I pignapped that cell phone and started reviewing pictures. OMP (oh my pig!) My eyes! What has been seen can not be unseen now. The horror of seeing this B-A-C-O-N that dad kept spelling out. Not only was it pig but it was FRIED. Thud – piggy down. We are in the south and I know we fry everything but really people – bacon?! I don’t know if I should be afraid for my life now here at the Hotel Thompson or slightly intrigued as to the taste – shivers. Help me out friends. Here is the evidence.