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Dear Bacon

Dear Bacon – I don’t get it.  Really I don’t.  The humans come into this special room, sits on what they call the throne and then what?  I don’t get it.  Is something suppose to happen in here?  Why do they sit on this thing with water in it?  I almost fell in.  Shaking my kitty head.  Signed Mystified

Dear Mystified – Well my friend I’m here to tell you the secret.  You see, I have learned from my staff here that this is *the* room.  It’s where the humans do the most thinking.  Yeah – it’s true.  Sometimes dad refers to it as the ‘library’.  My mom has even called it the powder room which is weird because I’ve never seen her with powder in there.  But take it from me, it’s *the* room of the house because when the humans come out, it’s like their steps are lighter.  Weird huh?


Dear Bacon –   We ALL hate picture day.  Doofus here wouldn’t smile for the camera.  I was tired of being out in the hot sun on the hot pavement.  Take the picture and let’s adios peeps.  If this dog doesn’t smile soon, I’m going to let the claws of hell out and strategically place them on his derriere ever so gently.  I’m just saying!  Signed Too Hot for Pics

Dear Too Hot for Pics – Give me a second my friend.   I’m making a note to self – never take pictures with Too Hot for Pics.  Claws of Hell huh?  I think I’ve seen them here at the Hotel Thompson.  Maybe Doofus – is that his real name? – just wanted to feel your paws on his head gently massaging his temples.  Maybe he has a headache from the heat too.  Maybe he’s as tired as you are.  Here – eat Snickers.  You’re never yourself when you’re hungry 🙂

 

 


Dear Bacon – What in the heck is my owner thinking?  Please tell me has he lost his everlasting feeble mind?  It’s not bad enough that I have to wear the Cone of Shame that can almost pick up channels from Tokyo, but he has to sit me on top of his snowboard.  Really?  Signed Rolling My Eyes Although You Can’t See

Dear Rolling My Eyes Although You Can’t See – Now would be the time to leave him something in his shoes, near the bed or in the kitchen.  You can always say you couldn’t find your litter box through your Cone of Shame.  That’s what I’m thinking.  Next thing you know, he’ll have you skates.  Oh WOW – I’m so sorry for that suggestion – snorts out of comments….

 

 


Dear Bacon – What is up with this contraption?  I feel like it’s a booby trap of some sort and now I’m stuck in it and can’t get out.  How and why do girls wear these things.  They can’t be comfortable – not by a long shot.  Signed Tortured

Dear Tortured – I don’t know the girls wear them but if other girls are like my mom, it flies off at the end of the day almost striking anyone in the near vicinity.  I guess you can call them deadly weapons.  Be safe my friend.

 


Dear Bacon – That pussy cat is going to wake up with one bad heck of a headache.  I was tired of him putting his paws through my front door and trying to grab at things in my house.  Don’t worry – he’s okay.  I’m just using him as a rug for a while and walking all over him for a change.  Maybe that will teach the guy to knock first.  Signed Jerry Mouse

Dear Jerry Mouse – Well I do hope that Tom Cat is okay.  He looks a little flat – what did you do take a sledgehammer to the guy?  I know if I was knocked out like that, I would definitely be showing you some respect.  Enjoy your newspaper.  I’m sure the fireworks will be blasting soon enough.

 


 

REMEMBER MY FRIENDS – Dear Bacon can’t happen without YOU.  Please continue sending me your questions and letters to my email address ❤

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Posted by on 05/24/2016 in Bacon, Dear Bacon

 

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