Post Office Adventures

Mom *finally* made it to the post office earlier this week.  The sad thing is that she went on Monday.  Why is that sad?  Because Monday and the post office should never ever be said in the same sentence.  It was so terribly busy.  Mom stood in line what seemed like forever.  At one point she posted on Facebook:

I’m not saying this line at the post office is slow but I think a turtle just passed me.

Yep.  Leave it to mom to find amusement in any situation.  What she didn’t say was that a snail had already passed her.  Snorts and rolls with piggy laughter.

But look at what mom found at the post office.  These are awesome forever stamps – Wonder Woman throughout the years.  Aren’t they the neatest stamps ever?

Do you have any neat stamps that your humans have bought over the years?  Dad has some Marilyn Monroe stamps and Nana has some Elvis stamps.  Cool huh?

 

Five Statements – Truth Revealed

Welcome back my friends to the reveal of the five statements.  Which one did you guess was true?  Did you pick it right away or did it take some work in thinking about each one?  Just what kind of person is my mommy?  Let’s see if you got it right.

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Statement #01 – Mom got a sport letter and award in Track when she was in high school.   Winner-Winner.  Mommy actually was the assistant to the track coach in high school for two years and kept the scores for all meets.  This is how she gained her letter and award.  Snorts – you thought she ran didn’t you?  If mom ran, she says she would have two black eyes and two broken knees.  Now that is hilarious!  AND who was the first person to guess it correctly – my brother Easy.  He knows my mommy!

Statement #02 – Mommy loves Cabbage Patch Kids.  Really?  Mommy despised Cabbage Patch Kids.  If you are a true follower, you have read her story about the demise of her *cherished* Cabbage Patch Kid in a fierce game of Cowboys and Indians – snorts with piggy laughter.

Statement #03 – Mom graduated with a C average in high school.  C student – oh no.  Mommy was an honor graduate – straight A’s.  In fact, some would say she was a nerd!  The shock of that huh?

Statement #04 – Mom’s first pet she ever had was a snail named Igor.  This would have been cool but again no.  Mom’s first pet was a dog named Beast.

Statement #05 – Mom and dad met when mom was working her pole at her second job.  Now I had to throw this in there.  Of course it didn’t happen this way.  But once, mom/dad went to a book store when they were dating.  Mom wrote a check and the lady asked for her work number.  Daddy did tell the lady it was the Cheetah Club (which was a strip joint in Atlanta, Georgia).  The lady replied, “Yeah, right.  I don’t think anyone with Holly Hobby checks would be a stripper!”.  Now *that’s* funny.

 

Five Statements

Welcome my friends to another Five Statement posting.  I will tell you five statements.  You have to pick out the one that is correct – all the rest are lies. Are you ready?  Just to make things a little more difficult, all of these statements are about mom 🙂 Good luck and here we go:

Statement #01 – Mom got a sport letter and award in Track when she was in high school.

Statement #02 – Mommy loves Cabbage Patch Kids

Statement #03 – Mom graduated with a C average in high school.

Statement #04 – Mom’s first pet she ever had was a snail named Igor.

Statement #05 – Mom and dad met when mom was working her pole at her second job.

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So which statement is correct?  The answer will be revealed tomorrow 🙂  Happy guessing – think it out now my friends.

 

Dear Archie, Oscar and Henry – Special Edition

September we are highlighting some of my friends who volunteered to help me out with my Dear Bacon issue. Today’s special edition is by some wonderful little purr thing friends – Archie, Oscar and Henry. You know them from their blog – mythreemoggies  If you don’t know them, you *must* go visit them and check them out.  Tell them that Bacon sent you.  Now, on to some great advice to help out our fellow anipals.

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Dear Dear Archie, Oscar and Henry,
My mom said that if I behaved at the flea market, I could ride the merry go round. Bark-bark-bark. As you can see, I got to ride! Bark – it’s so much fun. Bark – can you tell I’m having fun? Signed Happy Bark

Dear Happy Bark,
It looks like you’re going round the twist. You’re barking mad. You can’t carousel on like this!
We know you dogs like to go a little crazy every now and then: chasing your tails, running after sticks, barking at the wind. But this is too much.
You need to be a little more cat… Quit the fairground, find yourself a nice warm bed and grab forty winks. That’s true happiness.
Signed Archie, Oscar and Henry

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Dear Archie, Oscar and Henry,
What the cream cheese! There’s something slimy that confronted me today in my own living room. What the heck is the cast off from Sponge Bob? Have you ever seen this before. I’m not sure what I do with it – play with it, eat it or show it to the door. Thoughts? Signed Escardog

Dear Escardog,

This is a slimy situation you’ve got yourself into. Of course, your first resort to any intruder is to think ‘food’, but this is not Paris notre petit ami. You need to have a word in his shell like and tell him to sling his antennae.

Signed Archie, Oscar and Henry

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Dear Archie, Oscar and Henry
What!? Haven’t you ever seen a dog turning in for the night? I have to get a good nights sleep so I’m in shape to chase the mailman in the morning. It’s what I do. Come on now – you can admit to me that you sleep like this too. Signed Napdog

Dear Napdog,
This is what we’re meowing about. Sleep like a king our friend!
The importance of a good kip isn’t lost any self respecting moggie, and it’s a relief to see our canine pals finally embracing the power of slumber.  After all, that mailman won’t chase himself.
Signed Archie, Oscar and Henry

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Dear Archie, Oscar and Henry
Ha! I’m the littlest on the farm. The other animals like to horse around and bully me. I do what I do best. I sneak behind the trees and stick my tongue at them. When they chase me, the humans catch them picking on me. What!? Like you’ve never done that before? Signed Horse N Round

Dear Horse N Round,
This is neigh way to behave!
You need to stand up to yourself – are you a horse or a mouse?
Us moggies were brought up on da streets, and the rule there is you never grass. Actually, the rule is you eat the grass but whose letter is this anyway?
Signed Archie, Oscar and Henry

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Dear Archie, Oscar and Henry
Hey guys. I need your help. I’m a traveling door to door salesman. For some reason, when I ring door bells no one answers. I don’t get it. Can you help me out? Signed Gator Calling

Dear Gator Calling,
You have an image problem. Smarten yourself up, employ a make over artist and get yourself a nice suit.
These gator-phobes won’t change their attitude unless you make the first move.
Oh, and make it snappy!
Signed Archie, Oscar and Henry

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Remember my friends – Dear Bacon can’t happen without *you*.  Please continue to send your letters and questions to me here at the Hotel Thompson at baconthompson@gmail.com

 

Dear Bacon

Dear Bacon,
I hate baths. My humans think I need one every once in a while. I don’t. I mean why? I’ll just get dirty again, right? What can I do to change their minds? Signed On The Edge

Dear On The Edge,
Have you really tried to enjoy one my friend? It looks like your humans went all out and even put bubbles in the water. It even looks like a great tub my friend. I bet the water was even nice and warm. I myself love me a nice long bath. Especially when mom puts treats in the water. Maybe your humans need to try that? Suggest it and see how you feel then.

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Dear Bacon,
All my life, I’ve been slow. Let me change that. I’ve been slower than slow… If that’s even a speed! People have been making jokes about me for years. But nowadays, watch out. I got some wheels and there I zoomed by. They catch me these days riding dirty. Have you ever thought about riding? Signed Slow and Steady

Dear Slow and Steady,
You look good. You really do. Just be safe. Me on a bike? Snort – you have to be kidding. Bikes don’t have doors. I’ve got to protect this work of art. The closest I get to a cycle is moms Smart car. Snort LOL. Ride on my friend.

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Dear Bacon,
I love leather. I love the feel of it against my fur. Can you be honest and tell me if this jacket gives me chicken legs? Signed Biker Chick

Dear Biker CHICK,
So your question is does your leather jacket make you “look” like you have chicken legs? Now that’s a good questions. No, not at all. Your jacket doesn’t give that appearance at all. I think that diamond necklace draws attention to that gorgeous face of yours. Walking off shaking head laughing.

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Dear Bacon,
Hee hee. You’re always talking about those purr things that you love with on your page. I thought I would share a picture of what I do to my purr things. Laughing. I hide around corners until they walk by me. I think my purr thing only has maybe two life’s left. Rolling around laughing. Signed Gotcha

Dear Gotcha,
I have to admit that this is a good one. I will be saving it for future reference… I mean future not to do. Yeah, that’s it. Thanks my friend.

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Dear Bacon,
Have you ever played patty cake? Me and my dears have a great time playing this during the day. It makes the day go by so much faster. We’re getting really good at it. I think that it should be made into an Olympic Game, don’t you? When one of us misses a move, another of our friends jump in to replace them. It’s a hoot! It makes our down season, I mean our life go by so quickly. Signed Reindeer Gamers

Dear Reindeer Gamers,
No. I can’t say that I’ve ever played patty cake. My hooves are kind of oddly shaped. And, I really don’t have that kind of balance with this pot belly if you know what I mean. It gets in the way when I try to ‘stand’. It looks kind of fun though. Perhaps you should video tape it and let it go viral on line at YouTube. Have fun my friends.

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Dear Bacon,
I know you can relate man. You talk about your snout. Heck, look at my snout per say. It’s a sharp situation. No touching noses with this thing my friend. Signed Horny

Dear Horny,
Ouch. You got me on that one. Be safe with that thing my friend.