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Dear Bacon

Dear Bacon – Yo dude, we want to tell you something.  Don’t think that Tony Hawk and humans are the only one’s that can move a board.  We want you to know that us anipals can too.  This is me and my bro using our boards on the bathroom sink – which is an awesome area to do some rims off the side.  It’s way too cool dude.  You only have to make sure that you don’t do the rim on the toilet side cause if it goes over, ka-plunk into the depths of the tidy bowl friend.   So dude, the next time you go out on your deck or what have you, take in some air.  You won’t regret it!  Signed Mike and Ike

Dear Mike and Ike – Oh my piggy heavens.  That’s what I’m talking about!  Find the freedom of fun where you can.  I like the way you two think for sure.  I say burn those boards my friends and keep flying high… just watch out for the tank.


Dear Bacon – Shaking my head.  You always have that one brother that just doesn’t know how to act or fit in.  I’m sure you can relate with those two in your home.  Here we are and our human wanted to take pictures.  I’ve said time and time again, “Bro, don’t look at the camera.”  And what does he do?  Looks at the camera and grins like an idiot.  Shaking my head.  How can we be from the same family?  Signed I’m with Stupid

Dear I’m with Stupid – I know only too well of this problem my friend.  It seems like our brothers never want to do what we tell them – ever!  Houdini is the same way here.  He *always* has to turn on his baby charm and smile.  It’s really disgusting.  He’s such a camera hog – snorts with piggy laughter.


Dear Bacon –  They say that admission is the first step.  Okay here it goes.  I admit it.  I can’t hold my kibble.  I overate.  Why?  Because it was there and my belly grumbled for some.  Yes, I know it’s going to be there every day but you never know when the kibble will run dry and there won’t be anymore.  You never know – honestly!  I knew when I finished that I made a grave error of my ways.  My tummy started rumbling and I got the talk back to… you know when air escapes and makes sound out of your bum.  Those are weird.  Then I ran to the bathroom and threw my head into the throne… to bad that wasn’t the end it wanted to come out of.  My bad.  Have you ever felt this way?  Signed Overeaters Anonymous

Dear Overeaters Anonymous – Oh my friend.  I’m a hog.  I always feel like I should clean my bowl and eat some more.  But mom, she makes sure I don’t overdo it like you did.  And those sounds coming out of your bum – I like to refer to them as food ghosts coming back to haunt us…. then I blame them on my daddy.  Hey, it works.  Hope you feel better soon.

 


Dear Bacon –  There is this show on television that I always have to watch every single week.  It’s called Bad Dog!  If you haven’t seen it, you have to check it out.  It’s all about dogs that don’t have it together, that don’t know what side of their bread is buttered.  Do you know what I mean?  Well every week, I gather my favorites together – cheese – and watch my show.  I try to get my humans to watch with me.  So they will know what a wonderful pet I actually am.  You know to let them know how lucky they are to have me.  You get it.  So do you have to remind your humans that they are lucky to have you?  Signed Cheese Head

Dear Cheese Head – Yes.  Us anipals always need to remind our humans how lucky they are to have us and how they can’t live without us.  It’s the law of anipals… well it should be if it isn’t.  Without us, who would keep the humans in line.  Right?  I say carry on my friend and enjoy those cheese doodles… one of my favorites.


❤ Remember friends – Dear Bacon can’t happen without YOU.  Please continue to email me your pictures and letters.  ❤

 
14 Comments

Posted by on 11/08/2016 in Bacon, Dear Bacon

 

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Breaking News

Journalist Rocky the Squirrel here –

Keeping my paws on the nuts of the world!

The juvenile rolling stone has struck again!

 

 

Information has been received over the wire reports this morning that the juvenile rolling stone has been caught in another act of random mischief. This time, the act took place in a local Target department store in Morrow. The juvenile rolling stone was caught on store security riding a tan in color skateboard down the sporting goods aisle. In one part of the video, you can actually see where the skateboard goes around a human wearing orange clogs and then runs into a display shaking his little pebble head from the impact.

One witness who wishes to remain anonymous, we’ll call him Mr. Smith, stated the juvenile rolling stone was acting like “he didn’t have a care in the world“. Mr. Smith stated he told him at one time to put the skateboard away so that he would not get hurt. The juvenile rolling stone stuck his tongue out and told the employee, “Make me”, before he took down another aisle riding the board. Mr. Smith followed him and inquired where his parents were. The juvenile rolling stone replied, “Papa was a rolling stone” before laughing hilariously.

This goes to show that the juvenile rolling stone is becoming more mischievous.

 

Last month, authorities reported that the juvenile rolling stone created havoc by riding a blue skateboard carelessly throughout the Walmart department store. He was observed skateboarding down aisles of the store in the toy department in between humans feet. He was even overheard shouting at the Walmart workers, “Whee, whee, whee!” and “Catch me if you can”.

Authorities have released a video from the security camera at Target of the juvenile rolling stone perpetrator showing his disturbance. Authorities are asking you not to approach the juvenile rolling stone in case he casts the first pebble. If you recognize this juvenile, please comment in the postings. All postings will be confidential.

 
9 Comments

Posted by on 06/14/2013 in Journalist Rocky the Squirrel

 

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Breaking News –

Journalist Rocky the Squirrel here –

keeping his paws on the nuts of the world

**Breaking News ** Breaking News **

**Breaking News ** Breaking News **

 

Information has been received over the wire reports this morning that a random act of mischief has taken place at a local Walmart in Rocksville. A juvenile rolling stone was caught causing mayhem by riding a blue skateboard throughout the store carelessly. The juvenile rolling stone was overheard shouting, “Whee, whee” and “Catch me if you can”. The rolling stone was observed skateboarding down aisles of the store in the toy department in between humans feet. No one was harmed but authorities are looking for the juvenile rolling stone for counseling. Skateboarding throughout the aisles of the Walmart is greatly frowned upon for the safety of its customers.

A video has been released of the juvenile rolling stone in his time of mishief. If you recognize this juvenile rolling stone, please comment on this posting. All comments will be strictly confidential. Thank you for your help in this grave matter.

 
9 Comments

Posted by on 05/17/2013 in Journalist Rocky the Squirrel

 

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