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Daddy Has Done It Now

 

20140718-093932-34772922.jpgOh my friends.  This is Mouse Girl.  We call her MG or sometimes OMG (oh Mouse Girl) – snorts.  She is Pissed at daddy.  That’s right – that’s Pissed with a capital P.  You know that means business.  Shakes piggy head.  She is giving daddy the back, the shoulder, not talking to him and won’t come to him. I told you.  She means business.

For her to be this mad, you know daddy had to do something really bad.  I mean, she ❤ her daddy.  She thinks he walks on water and does no wrong.  Well… that was before the incident.  Oh yes my friends.  There was an incident this past weekend.  An incident that can not be forgiven any time soon.  An incident that shall be remembered in the mind of MG forever and ever amen.  You want to know what happened?  Come closer and I’ll tell you.  I can’t say it too loud in case MG is listening.  Okay, you ready?

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Like me here at the Hotel Thompson, Mouse Girl and Hemi are slightly spoiled.  Just a bit.  They don’t know that they are purr things.  In fact, do any of us here really know that we are not humans?  That’s probably the better question.  These two purr things don’t think they need to drink from a bowl.  Oh no.  That’s way too common for them.  They have to drink from the pedestal sink in the bathroom.  They are insistent too.  In fact, we have to keep the bathroom door closed because if not they would be in there constantly playing and partaking in their “personal water fountain”… rolls piggy eyes.  Here’s a picture of them together on their grazing fountain:

 This picture was taken a while back when both were a lot smaller but you get the idea.  Well, Hemi can jump straight from the floor to the sink.  He’s flexible like that – go Ninja skills.  But Mouse Girl, well she’s a little hefty on the back side as you can see from the first recent picture of her back – snorts.  She has to jump on the commode and then jump on the sink.  It’s a system that works for her.  That is until this weekend.

You see when the toilet seat is down or the lid is closed, it’s fine to jump on, balance and then jump on the sink.  But this past weekend someone left the seat completely up.  That person shall remain nameless oh man of the house who forgot to lower the seat which is the way it should always be left.  Attention women – are you following me now?  Let me remind you though that although I am a man piggy, I do not lift the seat or use these facilities.  I have my own potty patch in my bedroom that I keep clean.  Just so you know.  Direct hate male of leaving the toilet seat up to Man of the House, Hotel Thompson.  Snorts.

Let me set the picture up for you.  It was the middle of the night.  Daddy had went to the bathroom and came back to bed.  Mommy decided she should go as well.  She stumbles down the hall in a half asleep/half awake mode while Mouse Girl follows.  Mom hardly ever turns on the light in the middle of the night during one of these visits.  She opens the door to the bathroom and Mouse Girl walks into the room.  Then she heard SPLASH!

You *KNOW* this did not end well.  When mommy heard the SPLASH, she flipped on the light.  OMP (oh my pig!)  Mouse Girl was soaking wet and stuck in the toilet fussing.  Not hurt and nowhere near drowning but stuck and super soaked.  It was not a happy moment for her.  On one hand, mommy wanted to say thank you because it could have been her.  On the other hand, mommy wanted to laugh because that was one soaked kitty.  And then on the other foot, poor Mouse Girl.  Then, mom said those famous words, “Honey, you need to come in here.”

Daddy fussed and stumbled down the hallway.  I have to admit that he was semi-asleep up until the point he got to the bathroom and heard Mouse Girl meowing and fussing.  And then mom fussing at him about this is quote, “Why, we don’t leave the lid UP”.  Mommy finally got Mouse Girl out, bathed her a second time and dried her off.  All of this around 2:00AM.  Mouse Girl has been mad at daddy every since… with a good reason don’t you think?  Snorts.

Your parents ever do something like this with consequences?  Do tell.

 
51 Comments

Posted by on 08/04/2014 in Bacon, Hemi and Mouse Girl

 

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Humans are Weird

That’s right.  I said it out loud.  Humans are weird.  Mine have *got* to be at the top of the list.  Rolls piggy eyes.  I think this sign, “Beware All Ye Who Enter” should be on our front door. It was a strange Sunday yesterday.  Mom and dad got up and piddled around the Hotel Thompson.  Then mom sat on her sofa and looked at dad across from her sitting on his sofa playing what of course – Angry Birds.  That’s when it started.  I wanted to know what was going on so I jumped on the sofa with mom.  It kind of went like this:

MOM:  “Whatcha doing?”

DAD:  “Nothing much.”

Oh poor daddy of mine – when will you ever learn NOT to say those words to mom – snorts

MOM:  “Good, we need to clean the bathroom today”.

DAD:  “I’m busy.”

MOM:  “No you’re not.  You just said you were doing nothing.”

Mom wins every battle this way – snorts.  Daddy mumbled something about when he found this “WE” fellow he was going to beat him up bad.  But he was a good man, he got up and followed mom down the hall.  You’re probably saying, “What’s the big deal?  It’s just cleaning the bathroom”.  That’s where you would be wrong – snorts.  Mom was wanting to CLEAN the entire bathroom – as in walls, tub, sink, floor, cabinets, changing shower curtain – the entire works.  And of course with mom’s arthritis, she can’t get in and grove like she once did.  That’s where daddy comes in – she needed his quote “Brute strength”.

They went in and shut the door.  They wouldn’t let any of us anipals inside with them.  We heard a lot of giggles.  A lot of laughter.  Something about WE was going to have to die from daddy.  Things got thrown in the hallway.  The laundry basket, trash, clothes – what *WERE* they doing in there?  They were in the bathroom for over an hour!

Then the door opened – WOW – you could hear the angels singing it was that sparkly.  I was in piggy awe.  And then mom did the thing she said she “deserved” after all of that – she took the smelliest bubble bath I’ve ever seen.

Do your parents do weird things like this?

 
48 Comments

Posted by on 06/23/2014 in Bacon

 

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Bacon’s Tales of Terror

Glad you could make it to this month’s edition of Bacon’s Tales of Terrors.  I was hoping that you would show up again… not be too afraid to read this month’s posting.  I bet you’re wondering what this graphic of a bunch of play mice has to do with todays Tales of Terror.

Do you remember a couple of months ago, I spoke about the mysterious ‘squeak’ here in the Hotel Thompson?  No?  There’s an unknown squeak.  It sounds like a pet toy that squeaks.  It goes off every once in a while, usually in the same room that everyone is in.  You don’t think that’s scary?  What if I told you that we don’t have any ‘squeaky’ toys inside of the Hotel Thompson.  That’s right – none, nada, zilch.

You see, several years ago we had a beautiful laborador here at the Hotel Thompson.  Her name was Honie Bear and she loved squeaky toys.  Not to play with but to destroy – snorts.  So mom/dad took up all of the squeaky toys throughout the house because they were afraid that Honie Bear would swallow the ‘squeak’.  Honie Bear went over the rainbow about four years ago.  Thus, mom/dad know for sure that there are no squeaky toys in this house.

But still, when things are quiet and everyone is in the same room together – even the purr things – they hear a squeak.  Usually it’s just one squeak.  It may go weeks or sometimes months without hearing it again.  It’s not a mouse squeak – it sounds like a real squeak.  And it gets the purr things attention.  They try to look around the room for it and they never find it.  Strange.  And it is still happening.  Mom/dad says that when Spring gets here, they are doing some major Spring cleaning to see if it shows up.  But until then, it’s a sound that everyone here finds mysterious.

And something else happened a couple of weeks ago here at the Hotel Thompson that makes you go hhmm.

We keep our bathroom door closed here due to the purr things wanting to get in there and play with the water.  Yep, you read that right.  The play things like to get into the bathroom and play WITH the water.  Shakes piggy head – we are a weird bunch here, huh?

Mouse Girl will go to the bathroom door, scratch on it and ‘call’ for daddy to come let her into the bathroom.  Daddy was busy this date and kept telling her not right now.  A few minutes of this went on and then it stopped.  Daddy thought that was strange.  So, he listened intently for a few minutes.  He heard what sounded like someone getting on the toilet in the bathroom.  If you have purr things, sometimes you will hear this.  It’s like a stepping stone for them to get on the sink where they can then play with the water.

Daddy shook his head.  Nah, the door was shut but yet he heard that noise.  He went down the hall to check on the bathroom.  The door was standing open, the light was on and Mouse Girl was on the sink playing with the water.  Daddy *might* have said WTF and I’m not sure what that means but he was a little shocked.  I mean, okay we can say that maybe the door wasn’t closed all of the way.  And we can say that Mouse Girl knows how to turn the water on.  But, the light.  How did the light get turned on?

Makes you go hhmmm doesn’t it?  Well, I hope you enjoyed my Tales of Terror on this 13th day of the month.  And today or tonight when you are home, make sure you pay close attention to the lights in your bathroom for fear of them turning on themselves 🙂

 
38 Comments

Posted by on 03/13/2014 in Bacons Tales of Terror

 

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Dear Bacon

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Dear Bacon,

Of the entire house, my favorite spot to sit while the humans are at work is in the kitchen sink.  I know it seems weird but it’s perfect to overlook my kingdom outside.  Plus if I get thirsty, I can turn on the tap and get a little drink.  What do you think?  Where is your favorite place to overlook your kingdom?  Signed Sink Pooch

Dear Sink Pooch,

Well my friend, I’m not one to judge.  If you like the sink, go for the sink.  If your humans are good with it, go for it.  It does look as if it does give you full access to your viewing pleasure.  I like to sit in the front room in front of the clear storm door.  I can see outside into nature – over my kingdom – and the creature that are out there.  This is good for me because I don’t want nature ‘touching’ me.  I don’t mind the sun that shines in, that’s refreshing. Bugs, small creatures and grass – shivers to this little pig.  

 

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Dear Bacon,

This is my favorite toy to play with in the entire playground!  During the day when no one is looking, I will wobble down the play equipment and play on it while the kids are at school.  It’s so much fun!  Signed Panda Toy

Dear Panda Toy,

That does look like so much fun!  I wonder if I get on one to play?  I wonder if this pot belly will allow or my short legs would touch the ground?  Off to draw some pictures to see.  Thanks my friend – have fun rocking!

 

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Dear Bacon,

I’ve been reading your blogs for sometime now and wanted to tell you how much I appreciate them.  You give away some really sound advice and seem very caring.  I like that.  Sorry for the bag over my head.  I’m in the doggy witness protection program so I can’t show my face.  I hope you understand.  Carry on my friend.  Signed Underbagcover

Dear Underbagcover,

Thank you so much my friend for the words.  I really do appreciate them.  It makes this little piggy feel good that I really get to touch some lives for the better.  I have to ask though and I know others are going to think the same thing… what does a dog have to ‘see’ or turn over evidence on to get in the doggy witness protection program?  hhhmmm

 

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Dear Bacon,

I just had to share what the humans do to me.  I think it border lines cruelty.  They play the piggy game with me… this little piggy went to the market; this little piggy went home; this little piggy went whee whee whee.  It tickles – stop it!  Signed Laugh Bear

Dear Laugh Bear,

I don’t get it.  What’s so funny about those sayings?  Looks down at hooves – they’re hooves not piggies.  Shakes head and walks off to ask mom.

 

20130428-203904.jpgDear Bacon,

What?  You never saw a monkey with it’s legs crossed sitting in a tree pondering life?  I mean all of the great philosophers did some heavy thinking.  What’s the difference with me?  Signed Aristotle

Dear Aristotle,

There is no difference.  You carry on and keep having those deep thoughts.  When you get them all together, please share with me so we can have a deep discussion.  I have heavy thoughts at times as well my friend.

 
7 Comments

Posted by on 06/05/2013 in Dear Bacon

 

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