Santa Claus Is REAL!

Let me tell you a secret.  Mom had her iPhone unlocked and I was just looking at the pictures – yep that’s what I was doing – snorts looking a pictures.

I came across a person in her contacts that I couldn’t believe!  Mommy has the direct number to Santa Claus – thud piggy down.  So when the humans tell you that they know people that are important – it’s true.

I told Hemi and Houdini about this contact in mom’s iPhone.  They couldn’t believe it and thought it was a joke.  We called the number and put it on speaker phone.  OMP (oh my pig!).  All of our mouths fell open.  It really was Santa Claus.  We were all shocked.  Mommy really does know Santa.  We *have* to be good now.  What if she sends him pictures or calls him herself?

Just in case, I’m off to clean up my pig pen of a bedroom.  Hey, I gotta be on that good list this year.  I have a big stocking to fill!  And you still don’t believe?  Look what else I found on mom’s Facebook page – OMP!  Gotta run now.  My room needs cleaning 🙂

 

Christmas Decorations – tsk tsk Daddy Oh

  Oh boy.  That human daddy of mine just digs himself deeper and deeper this time of year.  Mommy asked him to take out some decorations for Christmas.  Maybe it’s just me but I don’t think the leg lamp is exactly what mommy had in mind.  He tried to fight for it saying that it was a classic and came from the movie, “A Christmas Story“.  He continued by saying that if it was good enough for Ralphie’s dad then it should be good enough for him.  Way to go daddy.  You need a shovel to dig yourself deeper into the hole?

I just bet you that all mom heard was blah, blah, blah and blah. She was patient and she was kind.  She let him make arguments over the said leg lamp.

I don’t know about you but that’s the way moms seem to be.  They get quiet and listen while you dig the hole bigger and bigger.  Just, you know, letting you stumble over yourself.  I watched and tried not to snort because I knew it was coming.  She said, “Listen Ralphie, if I dared you to stick your tongue to the frozen pole, would you do that too because everyone else was doing it?”  She’s good.  The leg lamp was put back in the attic.

But you see, daddy doesn’t learn that easily.  Mom told him to put up the tree while she went out shopping.  For some reason, I just don’t think that this is what mommy was talking about.

Needless to say, mom was out for about an hour.  I know she thought she was going to come home to a tree… just a tad bit bigger than this I’m guessing.

Let’s just say that daddy was batting two for two this weekend.  So, our tree and decorations really didn’t get worked on like I thought they were going to.  And the discussion about actually putting up a tree took place.  Tree or no tree.  Because someone – looking innocently – knocked over the tree last year.  That keeps coming up for some reason.  I don’t get it.  The tree got tired and thirsty so it took a nap.  That’s it.  Really.

 

 

Santa Claus For REAL!

Let me tell you a secret.  This weekend, mom had her iPhone unlocked and I was just looking at the pictures – yep that’s what I was doing – snorts looking a pictures.

I came across a person in her contacts that I couldn’t believe!  Mommy has the direct number to Santa Claus – thud piggy down.  So when the humans tell you that they know people that are important – it’s true.

I told Hemi and Houdini about this contact in mom’s iPhone.  They couldn’t believe it and thought it was a joke.  We called the number and put it on speaker phone.  OMP (oh my pig!).  All of our mouths fell open.  It really was Santa Claus.  We were all shocked.  Mommy really does know Santa.  We *have* to be good now.  What if she sends him pictures or calls him herself?

Just in case, I’m off to clean up my pig pen of a bedroom.  Hey, I gotta be on that good list this year.  I have a big stocking to fill!  And you still don’t believe?  Look what else I found on mom’s Facebook page – OMP!  Gotta run now.  My room needs cleaning 🙂

 

Santa Claus Is REAL!

Let me tell you a secret.  This weekend, mom had her iPhone unlocked and I was just looking at the pictures – yep that’s what I was doing – snorts looking a pictures.

I came across a person in her contacts that I couldn’t believe!  Mommy has the direct number to Santa Claus – thud piggy down.  So when the humans tell you that they know people that are important – it’s true.

I told Hemi, Mouse Girl and Houdini about this contact in mom’s iPhone.  They couldn’t believe it and thought it was a joke.  We called the number and put it on speaker phone.  OMP (oh my pig!).  All of our mouths fell open.  It really was Santa Claus.  We were all shocked.  Mommy really does know Santa.  We *have* to be good now.  What if she sends him pictures or calls him herself?

Just in case, I’m off to clean up my pig pen of a bedroom.  Hey, I gotta be on that good list this year.  I have a big stocking to fill!  And you still don’t believe?  Look what else I found on mom’s Facebook page – OMP!  Gotta run now.  My room needs cleaning 🙂

 

My Parents are Weird

  Bet you didn’t know that, huh?  Snorts – sure you did.  My humans were dropped on their heads too much as children.  In fact, I think they probably fell off the back of several pick up trucks while growing up.  This past weekend, they decided to go to the movies before having our “family meeting”.  What a joke that was but you know about that already and I’m sure you’ll be hearing more about that soon.  So all goes well.  Mom has been wanting to see the movie Jurassic World.  She loves all of those movies but she wanted to wait until the hoopla died down a bit so the theater wouldn’t be overly crowded.  Good plan huh?

So they went and mom gets her favorite treat – popcorn – while dad goes for his favorite – nachos and cheese.  Can these two agree on anything – snorts?  So there they were watching the gazillion previews and trailers for up and coming new movies.  Rolls piggy eyes.  Mom said by the time the previews got over, she turned to daddy and said, “What are we watching today?”  Isn’t that how it is though?  That’s why I insist on watching movies at home in my bedroom.  I can stop and pause for potty breaks and popcorn in the comfort of my toddler bed.  Snorts.

But there they were chowing down and waiting for the movie to start.  That’s when mom said it happened.  Mom said that one of dad’s nacho and cheese chips ‘jumped’ in the middle of her popcorn bag.  What?  How did that happen, right?  That’s when daddy said he ‘might have’ had some help with it.  Really daddy?  I’m shocked.

So he picked up some popcorn on his nacho and cheese and said it was delicious.  Mom tried one and said it was really good.  Thus that started the Nachos-cheese-popcorn party before the movie.  Rolls piggy eyes.  Those two are so easily amused.

The movie then started and for the next two hours they were quiet.  Mom said the movie was outstanding.  Dad said it was great.  There were ups and downs and you have to be kidding me situations.  But overall, they highly recommended it.  Afterwards they came home and that’s when it happened.  I think daddy brought someone home with him.  Of course mommy was like, “Can we keep him”.  All I gotta say is he’s not staying in my bedroom!

 

Santa Claus For REAL!

Let me tell you a secret.  This weekend, mom had her iPhone unlocked and I was just looking at the pictures – yep that’s what I was doing – snorts looking a pictures.

I came across a person in her contacts that I couldn’t believe!  Mommy has the direct number to Santa Claus – thud piggy down.  So when the humans tell you that they know people that are important – it’s true.

I told Hemi, Mouse Girl and Houdini about this contact in mom’s iPhone.  They couldn’t believe it and thought it was a joke.  We called the number and put it on speaker phone.  OMP (oh my pig!).  All of our mouths fell open.  It really was Santa Claus.  We were all shocked.  Mommy really does know Santa.  We *have* to be good now.  What if she sends him pictures or calls him herself?

Just in case, I’m off to clean up my pig pen of a bedroom.  Hey, I gotta be on that good list this year.  I have a big stocking to fill!  And you still don’t believe?  Look what else I found on mom’s Facebook page – OMP!  Gotta run now.  My room needs cleaning 🙂

 

Christmas Decorations and Santa Claus

  Oh boy.  That human daddy of mine just digs himself deeper and deeper this time of year.  Mommy asked him to take out some decorations for Christmas.  Maybe it’s just me but I don’t think the leg lamp is exactly what mommy had in mind.  He tried to fight for it saying that it was a classic and came from the movie, “A Christmas Story“.  He continued by saying that if it was good enough for Ralphie’s dad then it should be good enough for him.  Way to go daddy.  You need a shovel to dig yourself deeper into the hole?

I just bet you that all mom heard was blah, blah, blah and blah. She was patient and she was kind.  She let him make arguments over the said leg lamp.

I don’t know about you but that’s the way moms seem to be.  They get quiet and listen while you dig the hole bigger and bigger.  Just, you know, letting you stumble over yourself.  I watched and tried not to snort because I knew it was coming.  She said, “Listen Ralphie, if I dared you to stick your tongue to the frozen pole, would you do that too because everyone else was doing it?”  She’s good.  The leg lamp was put back in the attic.

But you see, daddy doesn’t learn that easily.  Mom told him to put up the tree while she went out shopping.  For some reason, I just don’t think that this is what mommy was talking about.

Needless to say, mom was out for about an hour.  I know she thought she was going to come home to a tree… just a tad bit bigger than this I’m guessing.

Let’s just say that daddy was batting two for two this weekend.  So, our tree and decorations really didn’t get worked on like I thought they were going to.  And the discussion about actually putting up a tree took place.  Tree or no tree.  Because someone – looking innocently – knocked over the tree last year.  That keeps coming up for some reason.  I don’t get it.  The tree got tired and thirsty so it took a nap.  That’s it.  Really.

.

Let me tell you a secret though.  This weekend, mom had her iPhone unlocked and I was just looking at the pictures – yep that’s what I was doing – snorts looking a pictures.

I came across a person in her contacts that I couldn’t believe!  Mommy has the direct number to Santa Claus – thud piggy down.  So when the humans tell you that they know people that are important – it’s true.

I told Hemi and Mouse Girl about this contact in mom’s iPhone.  They couldn’t believe it and thought it was a joke.  We called the number and put it on speaker phone.  OMP (oh my pig!).  All of our mouths fell open.  It really was Santa Claus.  We were all shocked.  Mommy really does know Santa.  We *have* to be good now.  What if she sends him pictures or calls him herself?

Just in case, I’m off to clean up my pig pen of a bedroom.  Hey, I gotta be on that good list this year.  I have a big stocking to fill!

 

.

 

 

No to Nature

It’s no secret – I don’t do nature.  It’s as simple as that.  There are things out there on the other side of the door that I don’t want touching me.  I’m a spoiled pig in that aspect.  I can admit that.  I’ve never been except in crossing from the mini pig mobile to the house when going on a field trip.  I’ve never spent the night ‘outside’.  I don’t even like the way the grass feels on my hooves. 

Do you understand – I don’t do nature.  I’m house trained – why do I really need to go out ‘there’?  And let alone, the luxuries of my bedroom are not in nature – you know like my bed, my television and the magical food box in the kitchen.

 And just to make another point about nature.  Did you know that there are slithery things out there?  I know – I was shocked too!  I thought my back yard held things like the pollen bunny, mysterious unicorns and beautiful butterflies.  I learned this weekend that there is creepy crawly things in that back yard that are not so nice.

We have a wonderful neighbor – he acts like Mr. Rogers 🙂 – who cuts our yard for us.  He is so sweet and nice to do this and we really, REALLY appreciate that.  He let us know that he found a….a…. are you ready for this… a SNAKE in the back yard.  Oh gracious shivers to mergatroid piggy faint.  What happened to the butterflies and unicorns in the back yard?  I’m not sure which one of us hit the floor first – me or mom.  She just doesn’t do snakes.  In fact, I heard her tell Big Daddy next door that unless it has four legs and fur, it doesn’t need to be in the back yard.  I kind of feel the same way.

See, if I was out in nature in the back yard, I would have come snout to wiggly tongue to that thing.  OOOHHH yucky.  Just another thing to add to my list of why I don’t go outside in nature. 

XOXO – still quivering with fear Bacon