There I was last night all cuddled up in my Egyptian cotton sheet on my toddler bed in my bedroom. I was writing some stories and doing research for my 31 Days of Spook – which I hope you are enjoying. Someone sent me a video about selfies. I opened it and watched the video. Oh.my.piggy.heavens. Are you kidding me?! I peed on my bed. I can admit it. It scared me that much. You don’t believe me? Well, why don’t you watch the attached video in its entirety. It’s relatively short. Don’t say I didn’t warn you though – it’s not for the weak. Maybe you’ll think about it the next time you take a selfie.
Dear Bacon – There I was swimming around in my home. You know, minding my own business and keeping to myself. That’s when I saw this shark bait hanging out in a flimsy cage. Ha – as if those cages are shark proof. Shaking my head. When will the humans learn, right? Anyway, I was swimming and I saw this human with a camera thing taking pictures of my home. Then the human did the weirdest thing. He took one of those selfies that are all the rage over the internet. Well, you know I thought I would help him out and swam up behind him at just the right moment. By the looks of his eyes, I think it surprised him. In fact, I’m pretty sure it did. The water got cold in our area for a few minutes – ha! Signed Sharky
Dear Sharky – Oh.my.piggy.heavens! Dude, I would pee all over myself if you did that to me too! In fact, that’s where us anipals are smarter than the humans. There is no way we would put ourselves in these situations. Shaking my head. Nope, not at all. That is one selfie he will not forget anytime soon for sure!
Dear Bacon – My master thinks this is a joke. There is no joke here. Just wait until he falls asleep which he has to do at some point. Just wait. What? You aren’t laughing at me too. Are you? Putting a peach in front of me and saying there is more fuzz on said peach than my body is a cruel joke. Just wait until a position that peach near his person. Will see if his girlfriend thinks it is a joke. Signed Evil Kitty
Dear Evil Kitty – WOW. You don’t play do you my friend? My dad says that this is called Game On and the master gets what he gets for doing something like this to you. I would love to see his face… and his girlfriend… when you peach him back. Talk about impeachment. Snorts with piggy laughter.
Dear Bacon – See my friend sometimes one has to take help when it’s needed. My girlfriend called and said she was home alone. Rather than run the 3 miles to her house, I caught a ride in the back of a sweet dumpster truck. They never saw me and never knew they had a hitchhiker. Just remember fellow anipals, take help where you need it! Signed Hitchhiker to the Galaxy
Dear Hitchhiker to the Galaxy – SWEET my friend. What a brilliant idea to come up with in a time of need. Of course that would be awesome to hitch a ride to get to your girlfriends house. Hope you got there quickly! Take care my friend and remember next time to buckle up!
Dear Bacon – I have made a grand mistake. Darn this birdseed! There I was looking at the pretty seed and it was calling my name, “Squirrel come eat me.” I ran to the top of the cylinder and looked into it blessing my lucky day. That’s when this stupid bird came up and pushed me over the edge. Now, I’m stuck in my prison. It doesn’t matter if I eat all of the seed or not. I’m stuck until a human sees me in my lockdown. Why me? Signed Squirrel in Solitude
Dear Squirrel in Solitude – Darn that bird! Sometimes they can be so pesky. I say this first hand seeing some birds in my magical backyard picking on you squirrels. Wish I was closer. I would certainly get you out of your predicament. Hope you weren’t there too long. It was definitely a catch 22 – you are near the food but trapped at the same time. Then again, don’t eat too much. You might not be able to get out!
Dear Bacon – All it took was this one picture for my human to see and pass out. I thought it was simply brilliant. Really I do. By quickly glancing at the picture, did you also think I was broken in half? I got you, didn’t I? HA – Barking my head off. I think this is priceless. Call me a magician for sure. Signed Sawed in Half
Dear Sawed in Half – I have to admit it, you got me. At first glance, I thought oh my goodness this dog is broken. Even my dad saw it and thought the same thing. Awesome job in fooling everyone for sure. You should enter this in some kind of contest for sure. Thanks pal now keep it together – snorts with piggy laughter.
There I was last night all cuddled up in my Egyptian cotton sheet on my toddler bed in my bedroom. I was writing some stories and doing research for my 31 Days of Spook – which I hope you are enjoying. Someone sent me a video about selfies. I opened it and watched the video. Oh.my.piggy.heavens. Are you kidding me?! I peed on my bed. I can admit it. It scared me that much. You don’t believe me? Well, why don’t you watch the attached video in its entirety. It’s relatively short. Don’t say I didn’t warn you though – it’s not for the weak. Maybe you’ll think about it the next time you take a selfie.
Dear Bacon – Help! Let alone I had to get a bath. Let alone they wrapped me up like a tight burrito so much so that my tongue hung out. Then the human had to take my picture. Really? I can’t even fight it I’m wrapped so tight. Any thoughts on how to handle this fiasco? Signed Burrito in Training
Dear Burrito in Training – Let’s look at this on a positive note. Your humans love you so much that they (1) bathed you; (2) wrapped you up to dry you so you wouldn’t get sick in this awful cold weather and then (3) took a pic of you. Sounds to me like they are working hard towards next years Christmas cards. You can never plan too far in advance my friend. So this is what you do. Wait for them to go to sleep – you know the snoring, tongue hanging out and drooling from the mouth. Then take their picture to replace yours. Simple as that. Snorts.
Dear Bacon – I’m not sure about you but us dogs, we can spell. We know exactly what you are spelling when you say V.E.T. I’m not the kind of dog that runs but you spell V.E.T. and I’m gone like the speed of light. Nobody likes those guys at the V.E.T. office – I don’t care how many treats you get. What say you Bacon? Signed G.O.N.E.
Dear G.O.N.E. – I concur. Nobody likes the peeps at the vet’s office. No way! I mean my goodness they think giving you a treat makes up for the violation they give to your captain’s quarters – I don’t think so. I mean heck, at least you can buy me a Mint Julep or something first – snorts with piggy laughter.
Dear Bacon – This should serve the human for leaving their camera phone on last night. I left them a little something to find on their camera roll. What do you think – do I have it or what? Signed Hot for Hollywood
Dear Hot for Hollywood – Oh absolutely my friend. How could anyone resist that cute little face and tongue? I wish I could be a fly on the wall when your human finds that picture on their camera phone. I bet they laugh and then oohh and aaaww for hours!
Dear Bacon – I don’t get it. I live in the south and every time someone new sees me, they say, “Bless his little heart.” I don’t get it. What does that exactly mean. You live in the south – do you get that often? Signed This is My Happy Face
Dear This is My Happy Face – You see here in the south, that is a term of endearment. Peeps often say that for no apparent reason. I’ve heard peeps tell this to babies, older peeps, anipals and to each other. I don’t think they mean anything by it. Nope not at all. How could they? I look at you and see a masculine little guy that is going somewhere in the world. You just accept that term as a compliment, hold your head up high and march right on into 2016!
Dear Bacon – I was asleep – you know taking one of many naps during the day. I had my little hoodie on for some added heat. My human woke me up and said, “Say Cheese?” All my tummy heard was cheese so I stuck my tongue out. Don’t you know that was the moment my mom decided to snap my pic. Why – tell me why – do these humans do this? Signed Sticking Tongue Out
Dear Sticking Tongue Out – Personally I think sometimes the humans try to catch us off guard in an attempt to get an amusing look from us for their cameras. Every once in a while, I let mom *think* she has me and I do something for her amusement. What can I say? It keeps the humans happy therefore we get more treats. I say play it for all its worth my friend. Work it!
Remember my friends – Dear Bacon can’t happen without YOU. Please continue to email me your letters and pictures ❤
There I was last night all cuddled up in my Egyptian cotton sheet on my toddler bed in my bedroom. I was writing some stories and doing research for my 31 Days of Spook – which I hope you are enjoying. Someone sent me a video about selfies. I opened it and watched the video. Oh.my.piggy.heavens. Are you kidding me?! I peed on my bed. I can admit it. It scared me that much. You don’t believe me? Well, why don’t you watch the attached video in its entirety. It’s relatively short. Don’t say I didn’t warn you though – it’s not for the weak. Maybe you’ll think about it the next time you take a selfie.
September we are highlighting some of my friends who volunteered to help me out with my Dear Bacon issue. Today’s special edition is by two cute adorable little Scottie brothers – Wallace and Samuel. If you don’t know Wallace and Samuel, you *must* go visit them and check them out. Tell them that Bacon sent you. Now, on to some great advice to help out our fellow anipals.
Dear Wallace and Samuel,
Help. We have some really nosey and crazy neighbors. They are always trying to find out what is going on in my crib. Today I saw them looking into my window. I thought I would teach them a lesson and let them know what I thought about them. It’s amazing what a good stretch in the direction can tell them. Meow. Any more ideas? Signed Tails Up.
Dear Tails Up,
If your Peeping Tom neighbours don’t get the message after that eyeful of booty we suggest kicking it up a notch, how about treating them to a fine feline operatic performance at say 2am? Alternatively, nothing says “back off” quite like a week old dead mouse bouquet. If all else fails we recommend a good old restraining order. Good luck! Wally & Sammy
.
Dear Wallace and Samuel,
I.hate.baths. Can I say that any louder? Can I express that any louder in this picture? Get it over already and baptize me so I can get out of this tub of water. What do you suggest I think about during this torture? Signed Water Logged
Dear Water Logged,
Samuel here – I hear you loud and clear buddy! I too am not a lover of water or baths or baths filled with water. Based on personal experience I suggest you focus on the one of the following: a) the fun towel rub down you’ll get when the water torture is over OR 2) the fun you will have shaking all that water off you and onto your peep *snicker snicker* OR c) the fun you’re going to have rolling in something REALLY stinky first chance you get. Happy daydreaming! Sammy (and Wally)
.
.
Dear Wallace and Samuel,
My mom says that everyone has a beauty mark somewhere on their body. Mine just happens to be on my snout an looks like a heart. Do you see it? What kind of beauty mark do you have? Signed Heart of Snouts
Dear Heart of Snouts,
How frickin’ adorable are you!! We got mom to do a full body search of both of us looking for our beauty marks and you know what…she couldn’t find one!! Not one!! We’re not going to lie, this worries us a little and we’ve asked mom to make us an appointment at the tattoo parlor asap so that we can have one made – for some reason she is dragging her paws about making the appointment. We hope we can still be friends…even though we are beauty markless. Wally & Sammy
.
Dear Wallace and Samuel,
I’m sending you this picture for evidence. It was the last selfie that I took when the boys were chasing me. What? Wouldn’t you have done the same thing? Bad barks are chasing you and you take a selfie with the cell phone? What can I do to make the bad barks quit chasing me? They didn’t catch me this date. I ran into a log that they couldn’t get into. Can you help me out? Signed Faster than Pooches
Dear Faster than Pooches
This is an easy one…STOP TAKING SELFIES!! Seriously dude, put the phone down and walk away. We guarantee you those pooches won’t even sniff you twice if you get rid of the phone and start behaving like an ordinary cat. Nobuddy likes a show off especially a show off who needs to document his every move, meal and meow. Embrace living off the grid. Wally & Sammy
.
Dear Wallace and Samuel,
I don’t get it. I jumped in this box. My human dad took a pen and did something to the front. Afterward he was laughing hysterically. I don’t get it. Can you help me out? Signed Bat Cat
Dear Bat Cat
What can we say, small things amuse small (hooman) minds. We can see what effect your dad was going for here butt unfortunately it is lost as soon as you climb out of the box. We recommend pushing the box to the nearest mirror…it will all make sense then. And remember: Always be yourself! Unless you can be Batman cat, then always be Batmancat. And remember: Always be yourself! Unless you can be Batman cat, then always be Batmancat.
.
.
Remember my friends – Dear Bacon can’t happen without *you*. Please continue to send your letters and questions to me here at the Hotel Thompson at baconthompson@gmail.com
Hello my friends. Welcome to another great issue of Dear Bacon. This week, we have another guest helping me out with my issue. Today, my friend Forrest and Fozziemom are stepping in for me to do a special edition of Dear Forrest. Be sure to visit them at their blog and check them out – let them know what a great job they did – thanks Forrest and Fozziemom!
.
Dear Forrest,
Save a horse, ride a piggy – BOL. This is my gal pal Susie. The other farm animals think we are crazy. We are. Crazy in love! Do you think it’s cool? Signed Sam and Susie
Dear Sam and Susie,
I think the other farm animals are jealous…inter species can work…even if it does seem a bit odd. You loves who you loves so I say go for it! And yes it is way cool!
.
Dear Forrest,
Since they added the word “selfie” to the dictionary, we thought we would try it. We think it’s a work in progress. Have you tried this? Signed Say Cheese
Dear Cheese,
I must say I have tried selfies myself and it always ends up with booger shots..or drool. I think you have the crazy eye down pat though. Keep it up. I have seen some pretty bad human ones BOL BOL
.
Dear Forrest,
They say you can be anything you want. I wanted to be a pineapple. What kind of fruit would you be? Signed Piney
Dear Piney,
Well if you want to look like Camen Miranda then I say I like it veryyyy much. As for me, if I had to be a fruit I would be a banana. Then I could split whenever it got too much BOL BOL
.
Dear Forrest,
Dude. The beach is so totally awesome. The water is rad. Do you hang five bro? Signed Surfer Bark
Dear Surfer Bark,
Man you are hangin’ more than five my friend. You might take off if them ears get any more steam behind them BOL. I hang 5 in the dam. It’s usually followed by mum landing flat BOL …wonder what that counts as BOL
.
Dear Forrest,
I look fat. Maybe it’s my ears? Maybe it’s that bunny tail? Maybe it’s the beer talking from another bottle down? Can you help out a bunny? What do you think? Signed Fatbun
Dear Fatbun,
I think you are standing in front of the wrong mirror my friend. You look fine to me..nice and plump and round and delish…oops I mean fine. Sorry, I get side tracked by bunnies. I think if you were here at my place I could help you exercise..do you like to run? BOL
.
Thanks to Fozziemom and Forrest for another great issue. Remember my friends, these Dear Bacon issues can’t happen without you 🙂 Remember to send your pictures and questions to me at baconthompson@gmail.com
I would say ratting her out but well – you see – it’s more like monkeying her out – snorts. Mom got a onesie for the cold weather here in the south. Okay I have to snort really loud on that because it’s like an oxymoron. We’re in the South mom – we don’t get that kind of cold weather, not really.
But she saw this onesie pajama outfit, tried it on and took a selfie of it in the dressing room. First off, mom you are not two. Onesies look so adorable on babies. Second off, what’s with taking a selfie in the dressing room? Isn’t that *my* job to take these pictures of you and embarrass you? I had to find these pictures on your cell phone when you weren’t looking. You didn’t even tell me about them. I’m going to have to start going through your cell phone pictures more often mom.
And do you notice friends her feet? They are sock monkeys. Mom is taking this whole entire sock monkey too far now. First it was Monkey Man and his team in the back of the Smart car and now she is wearing a sock monkey. Snorticles.
I know I’ll probably pay the time for posting this of mom but hey – it’s all in good fun and a couple of chuckles, right? Remember that mom when you read this 🙂
And I know you are just wondering if there is a hidey flap in the back of the onsie. You were, wasn’t you? Snorts – there is.
Miniature pot bellied pig and friends - Bacon, Houdini, Hemi and all of the Rock Clan with Journalist Rocky the Squirrel all out looking for adventures from the Hotel Thompson.
Dear Bacon – I was asleep – you know taking one of many naps during the day. I had my little hoodie on for some added heat. My human woke me up and said, “Say Cheese?” All my tummy heard was cheese so I stuck my tongue out. Don’t you know that was the moment my mom decided to snap my pic. Why – tell me why – do these humans do this? Signed Sticking Tongue Out
Piglove 
