Dear Bacon

Dear Bacon,
I was this close to being caught.  The dog couldn’t find me.  I was so hoping that no one else in the room would give me away.  I was so glad when he finally left the room.  If he had been there for one more minute, I would have been riding him like a horse!  Signed Secret Agent Cat

Dear Secret Agent Cat,
Oh pal.  That was so very close.  You could have been found out at any minute.  I don’t even want to ask what you were doing to have the barky thing come looking for you like that.  Did you eat some of his kibbles?  Steal his bone?  Sleep in his bed?  I’d be careful if I was you.  I think he means business.

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Dear Bacon,
I admit it.  I’m just a tad little lazy when it comes to me overlooking my kingdom.  Sometimes my get up just doesn’t go.  You ever have those problems?  Signed Catlazy

Dear Catlazy,
Do I ever?!  Hey, there’s nothing wrong with your giddy up not trotting.  Sometimes you are just too tired and have to make priorities of what is more important to use that energy for… like eating.  Watching the kingdom, nah that can be done just like you are doing my friend.  Get rest.

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Dear Bacon,
Do you think this would be a cute business card for me to pass out like yours?  I’ve seen yours and they are way cute.  I want my own.  Thoughts?  Signed Stud

Dear Stud,
Snorts.  Well, your card will at least get you a lot of attention.  Some of it might not be the kind of attention you want though – for instance a paw across the face.  If you’re going to play Stud, be a man about it my friend.  You might want to rethink the wording on your card.  You know something like, “It’s hot outside but it’s cool beside me.”  or “You know where you would look even hotter?  Right here beside me”.  Keep it clean but yet flattering.

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Dear Bacon,
This is our nightly routine.  We all gather up in the big soft bed and mama reads us bedtime stories.  She said that she got that from your mommy reading you bedtime stories.  We just thought we would share.  Signed Kitty Kids

Dear Kitty Kids,
That is so adorable my friends.  I am so glad that you shared.  There is nothing like a bedtime story at night to gently help you fall asleep.  Keep being cute my friends!

*REMEMBER – Send your questions and pictures to me at baconthompson@gmail.com

Thank you for keeping up the Dear Bacon issues!

 

Possible Careers for this Oinker at Large!

You know it gets to a point in a little pigs life that he has to start thinking about his future. Even Bashful has already started thinking about a career as a police rock. The little fellow has high ambitions. He’s working on his ‘demanding, authoritative’ voice now. It’s a work in progress.

So that got me thinking. I really need to start thinking about a career. You know, just in case I have to support mom/dad in their senior years. What? It could happen. So here are some possibilities that I have come up with.

 I’m still thinking about a life on the opposite side of crime. It kind of runs in the family. 🙂 There are K9’s out there that help detect bombs and drugs. Why can’t there be a Pig Detector? With my snout, I have a strong sense of smell. I think I could also detect bombs and drugs… of course with the right amount of training.

I wonder if the academy would take me? I think I’ll look into this and find the number in mom’s phone later. Maybe she can even pull a few strings for me and get me enrolled. And hey, if I get in then perhaps we can get Bashful in later? It’s worth a shot, right?

 

And I’m still not giving up on the idea of being a pilot. That would be pigawesome! If I could fly an airplane, perhaps this would finally put to rest the old saying about when pigs can fly. I mean heck with enough thrust any of us can take flight… even if it is only for a couple of minutes.

If I could fly a plane, just think of the possibilities. Do you think Delta would hire me? I could spruce up the old resume. How would you feel the next time you were flying and the pilot was ME? Of course, I would oink first before I told you we were taking off and I would try to keep the turbulence down. Thoughts?

 

 

Oh the days of being a cowboy.. running around the great pastures… all of that open space and fields.

Okay – maybe not a cowboy. I’m not that ready for nature yet.

Give me a little bit and I might change my mind.

But for now, let’s skip this for the time being.

 

 

What about working in road construction. Hey in Atlanta, Georgia, they are *always* working on the roads. I could direct traffic with the best of them. Maybe even my favorite news channel, Fox 5, here would do a special on me.

I can see it in lights now – “Tonight at 11PM – special on oinker that directs traffic in busy downtown Atlanta. Don’t miss it!”

Oh, that sent chills up my spine. This could definitely be a possibility my friends.

 

So what do ya’ll think my friends? Do you think any of these would work for me or do I need to keep looking for different jobs. Where was my guidance counselor when I was in school? Let me know. I’m up for suggestions my friends.  Just think of the possibilities! 

Oink XOXO – Bacon

Note: pictures found on the Internet