Little Miss Muffet

Cartoon Credit: Dan Thompson

 

The Devil’s Food

Oh my friends.  I must show you the reason why mom won’t be losing any weight this week – snorts with piggy laughter.  Let me introduce you to some devil’s food called DELIGHTS.  These sinful, delectable little morsels can be bought at Taco Bell of all places.  Mom found them… or shall we say they found mom’s butt – snorts.

♥

You see they are filled with cream cheese, rolled in cinnamon and sugar and then deep friend.  Yep, you can loosen your pants now.  They are that good.  I won’t tell you what daddy calls them… but they are devilish.

 

Dinner Approved by Satan?

  Can you say that my mom and dad have been at it again? Snorts – of course they have.  They went out to dinner over the weekend.  All was going well and they were even behaving – which in itself is something unbelievable.

Then, they get the check.  Mom starts laughing hysterically.  Dad was like, “Tell me.  I want in on the joke.”  So mom says, “Dinner was approved by Satan himself.”  Dad was like why is that?

Then mom told him.  The total on the ticket was 1666.  Dad was like, “I gotta order something else.  No way!”  Too funny.  It’s a good thing that meal was tasty.  Who knew eating could be so sinful – snorts with piggy laughter.

 

Bacon’s Tales of Terror

Welcome my friends to my monthly Bacon’s Tales of Terror.  

Today we have a great one for you.  You see this is something that I saw.  Me and mom were going through some neighborhoods in her Smart car.  You know just driving around hoping that the flow of the car would make us sleepy.  What?  Yes we do that.  Mommy needs help sleeping sometimes – snorts.

So there we were on a back street and that’s when I saw this.  I started snorting… of course after I ducked down from being scared.  What the heck was that?  Mom had to make a circle and come back for a second look.  That’s when she saw it.  She would have ducked too but being in the Smart car there wasn’t much room.  So then we had to make a third circle.  You know to get it on camera.

What the heck were these people thinking?  What the heck is that?  A bird bath?  A head?  A head in a bird bath? Who lives at the house – Satan?  The Munster family?  The Adams Family?  Do birds really “drink” from that fountain?  All great questions.  What would YOU do or feel if that was in your neighborhood?  Would you walk by the house during the day?  What about night?  Would you be brave enough to walk to the door on Halloween?

 

Bacon’s Tales of Terror

Welcome back my friends to Bacon’s Tales of Terror on this 13th of the month.

Today, I want to talk about superstitions – that’s great for a 13th posting isn’t it?  Snorts.

Did you know that back in the day, breathing ‘in’ was interpreted as breathing in life while sneezing was interpreted as a swift exit of your essence or soul.  If your soul left your body through a sneeze then you would die without your soul.  This was the basis for further superstitions about sneezing throughout the centuries.

Do you tell people that sneeze, “God Bless You?”  This is actually a practice that is practiced all over the world and dates back to February 16, 590 AD.  Pope Gregory the Great decreed that prayers must be said to fight against a deadly plague in Italy at that time.  The plague was associated to be fatal by those who sneezed.  Telling someone, “God Bless You”, after they sneezed would protect people from the effects of the plague.

Saying, “God Bless You” can also be linked to around 1665 during the black plague in Europe.  Violent sneezing with the black plague was the sign of the end of the disease and death was certain to follow.  The pope made it a law so those that sneezed would be blessed due to their soon-to-be death.  It was also during this time that cover one’s mouth with their hand or cloth was put into place in order to stop the spread of further diseases.

In 17th century England if someone sneezed, people around them would remove their hats, curtsy or bow and wish them, “God Bless You”.  In the 1800’s in England, this poem came out:

Sneeze on Monday – sneeze for danger.  

Sneeze on Tuesday – kiss a stranger.  

Sneeze on Wednesday – sneeze for a letter.  

Sneeze on Thursday – something better.  

Sneeze on Friday – sneeze for woe.  

Sneeze on Saturday – a journey to go.  

Sneeze on Sunday – your safety seek – for Satan will have you for the rest of the week!

There is good luck also associated with sneezing:  if you sneeze between noon and midnight; if the family cat sneezes; if two people sneeze at the same time; if you sneeze twice in a row; or if you turn your head right when you sneezed.

But there’s also bad luck associated with sneezing:  if you sneeze in the morning while getting dressed; if you turn your head left while sneezing; if you sneeze three times in a row and someone is talking bad about you while sneezing four times is the sign of a cold.

 

Contributions to the Psychic Library on this information on sneezing superstitious.