Speed of Light

 

Dear Bacon – Tongue Edition – Snorts

Dear Bacon – Help!  Let alone I had to get a bath.  Let alone they wrapped me up like a tight burrito so much so that my tongue hung out.  Then the human had to take my picture.  Really?  I can’t even fight it I’m wrapped so tight.  Any thoughts on how to handle this fiasco?  Signed Burrito in Training

Dear Burrito in Training – Let’s look at this on a positive note.  Your humans love you so much that they (1) bathed you; (2) wrapped you up to dry you so you wouldn’t get sick in this awful cold weather and then (3) took a pic of you.  Sounds to me like they are working hard towards next years Christmas cards.  You can never plan too far in advance my friend.  So this is what you do.  Wait for them to go to sleep – you know the snoring, tongue hanging out and drooling from the mouth.  Then take their picture to replace yours.  Simple as that.  Snorts.

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Dear Bacon – I’m not sure about you but us dogs, we can spell.  We know exactly what you are spelling when you say V.E.T.  I’m not the kind of dog that runs but you spell V.E.T. and I’m gone like the speed of light.  Nobody likes those guys at the V.E.T. office – I don’t care how many treats you get.  What say you Bacon?  Signed G.O.N.E.

Dear G.O.N.E. – I concur.  Nobody likes the peeps at the vet’s office.  No way!  I mean my goodness they think giving you a treat makes up for the violation they give to your captain’s quarters – I don’t think so.  I mean heck, at least you can buy me a Mint Julep or something first – snorts with piggy laughter.

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      Dear Bacon – This should serve the human for leaving their camera phone on last night.  I left them a little something to find on their camera roll.  What do you think – do I have it or what?  Signed Hot for Hollywood

Dear Hot for Hollywood – Oh absolutely my friend.  How could anyone resist that cute little face and tongue?  I wish I could be a fly on the wall when your human finds that picture on their camera phone.  I bet they laugh and then oohh and aaaww for hours!

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Dear Bacon – I don’t get it.  I live in the south and every time someone new sees me, they say, “Bless his little heart.”  I don’t get it.  What does that exactly mean.  You live in the south – do you get that often?  Signed This is My Happy Face

Dear This is My Happy Face – You see here in the south, that is a term of endearment.  Peeps often say that for no apparent reason.  I’ve heard peeps tell this to babies, older peeps, anipals and to each other.  I don’t think they mean anything by it.  Nope not at all.  How could they?  I look at you and see a masculine little guy that is going somewhere in the world.  You just accept that term as a compliment, hold your head up high and march right on into 2016!

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Dear Bacon – I was asleep – you know taking one of many naps during the day.  I had my little hoodie on for some added heat.  My human woke me up and said, “Say Cheese?”  All my tummy heard was cheese so I stuck my tongue out.  Don’t you know that was the moment my mom decided to snap my pic.  Why – tell me why – do these humans do this?  Signed Sticking Tongue Out

Dear Sticking Tongue Out – Personally I think sometimes the humans try to catch us off guard in an attempt to get an amusing look from us for their cameras.  Every once in a while, I let mom *think* she has me and I do something for her amusement.  What can I say?  It keeps the humans happy therefore we get more treats.  I say play it for all its worth my friend.  Work it!

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Remember my friends – Dear Bacon can’t happen without YOU.  Please continue to email me your letters and pictures ❤  

 

Sorry We Are Staying In the Rest of the Day

 There you are, on your way out the front door to run some errands or go to dinner.  You drop your keys on the ground.  You look down to retrieve them.  That’s when you see your new best friend that wants to say hello.  What do you do?  Personally, my little oinker butt can’t get back into the safety confines of the Hotel Thompson fast enough – Mr. Snake can have the car keys.  Oh what’s that mom?  The house key is on the chain too?  Snorts.  The top of the house sure looks like a great waiting spot then.  Don’t tell me piggies can’t climb.  What would YOU do my friends?  Anyone want me to save them a spot next to me on the roof?

 

It *IS* That Time of the Year – YIKES!

 

This past weekend mom was outside minding her own business.  She was just innocently walking to the mailbox perhaps even whistling. When out of the blue – BAM!  Something hit the back of her head.  She ran her fingers through her hair, didn’t feel anything and kept going.  She didn’t think twice about it while she was running her errands.  

But as the day went on, she started getting a headache.  There seemed to be a lot of pressure in the back of her head.  She reached up to give it a feel and WOW!  There was a huge bump back there and her head felt slightly swollen.  It also hurt to touch.  What in the world happened?  

She went and showed it to daddy.  He felt it and gave her his best advice, “Call the nurse hotline.”  Mom called the nurse hotline and told them what happened.  Well, it is that time of the year when all of the bugs come out in nature.  They think she possibly got bit by a bee or wasp.  She took some benadryl and the swelling has went down some.  You can still feel a little bump on the back of her head but the headache is nothing as bad as it was.  

So friends with two or four legs if you are out in nature, please be wary of these winged creatures who like to hit it and run.  

 

I Absolutely Knew It Could Happen!

I’ve been researching the internet high and low for a certain something.  I *knew* it existed and I *knew* it could happen.  I know from personal experience that with enough thrust and run from my bedroom to the kitchen, I almost sprout wings and fly.  Really, it’s possible.  Pigs “can” fly.  You still don’t believe me, do you? 

Well, I guess the proof is in the picture.  Heck, this little fella is even flying over the water.  That would make landing a little easier, right?

See, pigs can fly.  So you know the old saying, “When pigs fly…”, well, you can scratch that one – snort oink oink.

 

 

Me and the Purr Things – Is it Friendship?

A lot of people often ask mom and dad if I get along with my purr things, Hemi and Mouse Girl.  Of course I do.  Snort

Now, Mouse Girl, she’s the only girl in the house besides mom.  She is a little princess in daddy’s eyes.  I mean come on, what little girl isn’t you know.  She does no wrong.  But let me tell you something about Princess Poo Poo, she has an evil streak.  Dad may not see it but I have.  We pick on her but believe me, she gets even and 9 times out of 10, she gets away with it because no one thinks she would do anything like that.  But I know.  I have her ticket.  Uh huh – I sure do. 

Now, Hemi, he’s in the picture with me above.  We are playmates.  Hemi likes to play what he calls tag.  He will slap me in the hiney with  his huge hemingway paw and trust me, that extra digit matters.  It hurts on my fanny.  One time, he slapped me across the face.  He hit so hard, I shook my head.  That’s a powerful slap friend.  After he slaps me, he then runs away and I chase him.  This goes back and forth for hours.  We run all through the house, down the halls, in my bedroom, across my bed, everywhere!  We’re just playing.  You’ll find us sometimes curled up sleeping together.  Us men have to stand together. 

So, yeah, we get along just fine for the most part.  We’re running buds.  Me and Hemi, we’re just thinking of ways to take over the household for good.  We’ll keep you posted on how that works out for us.  🙂