Snorts – Is *Your* Refrigerator Running?

We would like to say that ours was but last Friday, our refrigerator decided that it was done.  Tired.  No longer wanted to exercise.  Daddy got a drink out of the fridge Friday morning, went to drink it and it was hot.  That’s when he decided to touch everything in the fridge and everything was hot.  So dad called mom who was on the way to the worky place with the great news.  You just know that made mom’s Friday morning.

❤

So she checks in with work and then takes a couple of hours of emergency leave to come home.  Once home, mom checks out the fridge and concurs – it’s not working.  Now mom tells dad that the fridge they had was huge for two people.  So they decide rather than fixing it because of it’s age, they go price a new one because the repair wasn’t going to come cheap for the old one.

So my friends, let me introduce you to our new fridge.  A stainless steel Whirlpool.  It fits better in the kitchen and mom says it actually holds more than the old one.  I think it’s fantastic.  More room means more groceries for me.  And doesn’t it look better?  Now mom/dad just have to remember that the fridge is on the bottom and the freezer is on the top.  It was the opposite on the old one.  And yep, dad has already hit his head several times going into the fridge.  Snorts with piggy laughter.  Good thing he has a hard head.

 

 

 

It’s ALL a Conspiracy Theory

That’s it!  I’ve totally figured it out my friends.  It’s *all* a conspiracy theory.  It really is.  I finally know after all these years.  I know I’m rambling but I get that way when I’m overly excited.  Okay – let me breathe.

Alright here it is – I’ll explain it to you.  Samsung has come out with a refrigerator that allows you to see inside of it without opening the door.  It’s kind of like a piggy porn movie.  No really it is.  I can see all of the lovely stuff inside but I’m stuck behind an iron gate and can’t get to it kind of situation.  But, it gets worse.  Some of these refrigerators allow you to access them from your cell phone to see what is inside of them.  Yep, no joke.  You are doing your grocery shopping and you are wondering, “Do we need eggs?”  You can access an app on your cell phone to look inside of your refrigerator to see how your egg status is.  Now what about that?  Scary huh?

It explains everything.  You still don’t get it?  Okay let’s further explore Samsung.  My television in my bedroom is Samsung.  It’s a flat screen.  Now let’s just think about Samsung.  If they now have the technology to put a camera in a refrigerator to check out what is in the refrigerator who is to say they didn’t have this type of technology years ago and was secretly testing it in televisions.  Hey it could happen.  I mean it really makes sense.  How else would mom know at times that I’m not asleep in my bedroom and I’m playing.  My Samsung television is secretly watching me, taking my pictures and sending them to mom’s cell phone.  I’m telling you her cell phone is powerful!  Because when I get up in the middle of the night, it’s like mom knows!  She always tells me, “Go back to sleep Bacon, no playing.”  How does she know?

Even better – daddy’s cell phone is a Samsung.  Now this is even scarier.  Sometimes mom leaves daddy what they call a honey do list during the day when she goes to the worky place.  At times mom calls home to ask daddy if he has done something.  Of course, he tries to snow her over and say yes.  But she always knows.  How is that possible?!  I do believe daddy’s Samsung cell phone is telling on us and what we do when mom is away.  It has to be.

So you see now you understand what I mean when I say it is all a conspiracy theory.  Samsung is out to get us all.  Do you have Samsung products in your household?  If so, now you know!   Personally, now I’m off to look for hidden cameras around the Hotel Thompson.  They have to be here – I just know it!

 

Helpful Tips – Let’s Share

My friends – I’ve thought of something so cool.  Today, let’s share some helpful tips.  Perhaps there is something that you do to make life easier for you that could make life easier for everyone.  

For instance, mom has three magnets on the refrigerator.  One is a dog, one is a cat and one is an alligator.  Yes you read that right.  An alligator – rolls piggy eyes.  Mommy couldn’t find a piggy magnet.  Too funny that the alligator represents me – snorts.  Anyway, they are always kept in the same spot on the fridge.  When mom feeds the cats, she takes down the cat one.  When she feeds the dog, she takes down the dog one.  And then when she feeds moi, she takes down the alligator one.  That way, just in case she is running late or sleeping in and daddy has to feed us, he knows which one of us have been fed or not fed.  So no more double feeding – darns it.  

Another thing mom does at work is that she keeps a shot glass on her desk.  Snorts and rolls with piggy laughter – not for drinking you funny person.  She keeps her staple remover in it.  She goes through a LOT of papers and a lot of times has to remove the staples.  She removes the staples and then puts them in the shot glass to hold them while she goes through the entire stack of papers.  Then all she has to do and toss the contents from the shot glass when she is finished.  Something easy that helps her out a bit.  

Do ever wonder how daddy is able to do household chores without ‘seeing’?  For anyone that has vision problems, these are very helpful tips.  Mom taped a toothpick to the washing machine.  When daddy does the washing, he feels for the toothpick so he knows how far to turn the dial.  Mom also taped a key disc (you know the ones that are colored and are empty in the middle that you put on your keys for coding) to the oven on the “on” button.  If daddy wants to cook something in the oven, he feels for the disc and is able to turn the oven on.  Mom also put a key disc on the on button of the microwave.  

What are some helpful tips that you can share?

 

 

Dear Bacon

Dear Bacon – It’s so hot!  I mean really HOT.  I can’t take it anymore.  I don’t even have the stamina to look for nuts.  I can’t even move from this limb.  Can you help a squirrel out?  Signed Hot in Atlanta

Dear Hot in Atlanta – I feel for you my friend.  It is so H.O.T. here in Atlanta.  I moved from my bedroom to the living room and was almost sweating.  I need winter back.  Come on over to the Hotel Thompson.  You can crash with Journalist Rocky the Squirrel in his air conditioned treehouse in the backyard.

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 Dear Bacon –  There is always that *one* family member that you just roll your eyes.  This is us trying to take a serious family picture for our dad for Father’s Day.  Do you see how well that worked out?  Stupid on the end has to make faces.  What to do my friend?  Signed Classy

Dear Classy – Snorts.  You know your dad might just appreciate that look on your siblings face.  I mean if he is the family clown – him looking serious might not be a fun picture.  I say go for it my friends.  It’s better to laugh than cry!

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 Dear Bacon – Rosie was having a bad day so I offered her a shoulder to cry on to get past her woes.  That was three hours and now she is asleep.  I don’t dare wake her but my shoulder – I can’t feel it anymore.  It’s past the tingling stage.  It’s now at the do-I-even-have-an-arm-there-anymore stage.  Have you ever been stuck like this?  Signed Big Brother

Dear Big Brother – You are the man my friend.  That was so thoughtful of you to have a leaning shoulder not only to cry on but to sleep on.  Of course, you can’t wake her.  After what she has been through – whatever that might be – a leaning shoulder from big brother will make all of the bad go away.  I’ve done it a time or two with Mouse Girl.  Awesome job my friend!

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Dear Bacon – There I was my fellow pig.  Eating my carrots and minding my own business.  That’s when it happened.  I heard the refrigerator door open.  You know that sound, right?  The sound of freedom. The sound that says the store is open.  Squeals!  There’s so many good things in that cold box.  Don’t you feel the same?  I couldn’t help but suck in air and squeal.  I wanna go shopping in that place!  What about you?  Signed Bandit

Dear Bandit – I feel you my fellow pig and squealer.  I love that huge cold box.  It has such mysteries of delights stored in it – from cold stuff to frozen stuff.  Once I opened the freezer and was sucking on ice cubes when mom busted me.  Why ice cubes?  Why not.  They tasted so delicious and were so cold in my piggy tummy!  Let me know if you get to go shopping in there.

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FRIENDS – Please remember that Dear Bacon can’t happen without YOU.  Please email me your pictures and letters 🙂

 

Hemi Hi-Jack

Hemi here.  I don’t know when this little oinker will learn here not to leave his computer logged on – HA!  I thought I would Hemi Hi-Jack the oinkers blog and tell you a great story.  That’s me in the picture above.  Mom and dad adopted me and my brother Tybee in June of 2004, right before they got married.  Awesome huh?  Instant family of four.

My full name is Hemingway – but everyone calls me Hemi.  I’m a polydactyl cat – I have more than the normal toes on my paws.  I come from the Hemingway cats in Key West. Cool huh?  Trust me, you can ask that pig – I *know* how to use this big paw of mine.  I swipe that pig on the butt every chance I get.  Shrugs shoulders.  It’s what I do – LOL.  You don’t think this paw of mine would hurt?  You want to see it, don’t you.  Okay – here you go for your entertainment.  It’s big huh?  I told you so.

When mom/dad adopted us, we were three weeks old.  Can you see the pattern here?  They adopted that pig at three weeks too.  The only difference is that he could actually eat food and still does by the bucketfuls – HA!  Us on the other paw, we had to be bottled fed.  Mom actually took us to her worky place so that she could feed us during the day.  It was really awesome.

All of these manly men, bulked and ripped would come into her office to help with our feedings.  It was really neat.  I took to the bottle really quick.  Heck, I could just about hold my baby bottle.  Tybee was the opposite.  He had to be persuaded and fed his bottle.  He was a trooper though.

This is Tybee to the left.  He was mom’s little dresser.  He let mommy do anything to him.  He was actually Santa Tybee in this picture – cute huh?  That Christmas, mommy had bought daddy his graduation ring from college.  She had tied it around his neck and he pounced in dad’s lap with his costume and the ring.  It was cool.  I think dad almost cried.

I told you we were three weeks when we were adopted.  We were so small that both of us could fit into a coffee cup together.  We were so small that mom/dad didn’t want us running around the Hotel Thompson by ourselves.  So at night, she put us in a kennel in their bedroom.  In the morning, she would open the kennel door and we would both run down the halls towards the kitchen for breakfast.  Every day like clockwork, I would throw Tybee into the wall.  He fell for it every time – HA!  Dude that cat could take a push.  He was the greatest.

Dad would pick us up at mom’s worky place and take care of us in the afternoons until she got home.  He would feed us and then work on his master studies.  He was a hoot.  I gotta say my dad is so creative.  He created what we refer to here as the Thunder Dome.

He would invert a laundry basket and put us under it so we could play around without getting loss.  Over the weeks, me and Ty learned how to push it around so we could explore but yet still be trapped in Thunder Dome.  We finally figured it out but it was a lot of fun.  <<It was very similar to this picture to the right.  Cool idea huh?>>

There was one time that stands out so vividly in my mind with those parents of mine.  We were all watching television together and mom had let us run in the front room.  They were keeping an eye on us.  Mom went to the bathroom and dad was suppose to be watching us – LOL – you know all about dad’s and watching children huh?  This can’t turn out good.

Well, mom came back in the room and dad was in the kitchen.  She sat down and started to look around.  She saw Tybee but not me.  She asked daddy and he said the best words ever, “Uh oh.”  They started the hunt and find mission looking under sofa’s, behind sofa’s, in the bedrooms, throughout the house and in the hallways – no Hemi.  Where did I go?  Mom and dad were mystified.  And then the internal mother kicked into mom.  She jumped up and ran to the kitchen.  She opened the refrigerator and there I was hanging on a shelf.  I looked at her and was like, “Wazup mom?”  Yep, I think (A) mom almost lost it right there and then in thinking she was a bad mommy – I say thank goodness she started with us kitties and not a real child – HA and (B) I think I might have lost one of my kitty lives that day.

Every since the day in the fridge, my ears and paws stay cold.  Mom and dad started calling me their Fear Factor kitty.  I guess that kind of clicks with me.

And I know you are probably asking about Tybee.  Tybee went over the Rainbow Bridge in late 2009.  He got really sick and we learned that he had feline leukemia.  It really broke all of our hearts here.  I went through a lot of testing during the time and I was fine.  But after his death, I have to admit I got depressed.  It just wasn’t the same without my bro.  Mom and dad decided that I needed a friend.  So in 2010, they adopted Mouse Girl.  Well, that’s a whole entirely different story we shall save for another day – LOL.  Hope you enjoyed the story my friends!

 

Snorts – Magnets Are Fun

Snorts – I couldn’t pass this funny up.  I’m off to see if I can get into the kitchen now.  I see a lot of magnets on the fridge through that horrid baby gate!  Have a happy Saturday!

 

Piggy Down

Sometimes a pig just has to do what a pig has to do – land and take a little siesta. This little pig was running around so much playing… and getting into things as mommy added… that I got totally piggy exhausted. I think mommy said I slept a good solid hour. I was sleeping so hard at one time that she said she got on the floor with me to check my breathing. I was fine. I was just tired.

I kind of like the angle that mom used to take this picture too. It doesn’t show all of my great fat rolls and actually makes me look like a skinny piggy. Yep, I think I might use this picture for our Christmas cards here this year at the Hotel Thompson. Way to go mom.

And I know you are just wondering what kind of trouble I got into, right? Well, you know us pigs. We are really intellectual and learn things really fast. While mommy was cleaning up my bedroom, I learned how to open up the piggy gate that separates the front room and the kitchen. 🙂 two points for this oinker. I was able to roam freely into the kitchen, go up to the big ice box that keeps the food and open the freezer which is on the bottom. I was stumped after that though. All the food was frozen! What’s up with that? Why can’t mommy have the freezer on top and the good food on the bottom where “I” can get it? Then, I could fix my own snacks. Wouldn’t that be great? Darn – mom didn’t go for it either.