Good Bye Don Juan

Good riddance!  Another year behind us with the freak gone.  Shakes piggy head.  I think I will need therapy this year to get over some of the antics that Don Juan did to us this year.  He has no morals.  No standards.  Not anything good is in his twisted little body.  He is bad.  Real bad.

The night before Christmas, dad was going to set out donuts and a Coke Zero for Santa.  I know that’s a weird combination but dad assured me that was what Santa wanted – Shakes piggy head.  You know what they say, “Don’t argue with your elders”.  Snorts with piggy laughter.

Dad went to go get the donuts and he found Don Juan was in his bag.  The little brat ate all of the donuts but one.  Daddy said Santa was *not* going to be happy.

So Don Juan – goodbye.  Good riddance.  Don’t let the door hit you on the butt on the way out of the Hotel Thompson.  Until we see each again, may you see nothing but darkness.  And watch out little guy – we will be prepared for you next year.  Oh yes… we will – evil piggy snorts.

 

Don Juan’s Powers are Strong

Lord have mercy.  Is it after Christmas yet my friends?  Please tell me it’s soon – really soon – not soon enough for my liking.  You see I can admit it.  Don Juan’s powers are strong here.  That evil little elf on the shelf needs to go back to where he came.  I’m going to need therapy after all of his antics this year.

You see, this morning I went into the front room like I do every day.  I was minding my own business, snorting and wobbling to the kitchen.  I passed through the living room and saw Houdini.  He barked.  I snorted.  You know to say hey to each other.  That’s when I stopped in my piggy tracks.

Houdini was dressed up like an elf.  WTP (What the pig!).  I asked the little guy what happened.  He said he thought he heard chattering last night in bed and this was how he woke up.  Oh dear piggy heavens.  You mean Don Juan sneaked into his bedroom and put this ridiculous outfit on him while he was sleeping?!  Shivers – I may not be able to sleep myself alone now until after the elf goes back into hibernation for the season.

I admit it.  This scares me.  Houdini didn’t know what happened.  Somehow he slept through it all?  How is that?  How can you sleep through being dressed?

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Good Bye Don Juan

Good riddance!  Another year behind us with the freak gone.  Shakes piggy head.  I think I will need therapy this year to get over some of the antics that Don Juan did to us this year.  He has no morals.  No standards.  Not anything good is in his twisted little body.  He is bad.  Real bad.

The night before Christmas, dad was going to set out donuts and a Coke Zero for Santa.  I know that’s a weird combination but dad assured me that was what Santa wanted – Shakes piggy head.  You know what they say, “Don’t argue with your elders”.  Snorts with piggy laughter.

Dad went to go get the donuts and he found Don Juan was in his bag.  The little brat ate all of the donuts but one.  Daddy said Santa was *not* going to be happy.

So Don Juan – goodbye.  Good riddance.  Don’t let the door hit you on the butt on the way out of the Hotel Thompson.  Until we see each again, may you see nothing but darkness.  And watch out little guy – we will be prepared for you next year.  Oh yes… we will – evil piggy snorts.

 

Don Juan’s Powers are Strong

Lord have mercy.  Is it after Christmas yet my friends?  Please tell me it’s soon – really soon – not soon enough for my liking.  You see I can admit it.  Don Juan’s powers are strong here.  That evil little elf on the shelf needs to go back to where he came.  I’m going to need therapy after all of his antics this year.

You see, this morning I went into the front room like I do every day.  I was minding my own business, snorting and wobbling to the kitchen.  I passed through the living room and saw Houdini.  He barked.  I snorted.  You know to say hey to each other.  That’s when I stopped in my piggy tracks.

Houdini was dressed up like an elf.  WTP (What the pig!).  I asked the little guy what happened.  He said he thought he heard chattering last night in bed and this was how he woke up.  Oh dear piggy heavens.  You mean Don Juan sneaked into his bedroom and put this ridiculous outfit on him while he was sleeping?!  Shivers – I may not be able to sleep myself alone now until after the elf goes back into hibernation for the season.

I admit it.  This scares me.  Houdini didn’t know what happened.  Somehow he slept through it all?  How is that?  How can you sleep through being dressed?

I went straight to the phone and called Nana.  I mean hey – Don Juan wants to play hard ball so I’m calling in for back up.  You don’t mess with the Nana.  This is when I squealed, ran to my room and hid under my toddler bed.  Nana said when she woke up this morning, her pooch Tinkerbell was also dressed like an elf!  What.in.the.world?!  Don Juan’s powers are strong.  Shakes piggy head in fear.

 

Texts from Bacon

Oh friends.  Thanks so much for the suggestion of hiding our evil Elf on the Shelf in the litter box.  Houdini captured the little twerk and we bagged and tagged him throwing him in the litter box.  It didn’t work out as we expected.  First off, Hemi didn’t appreciate the trespasser in his quarters.  Then when the little guy got his powers at night time, I paid the price for this entrapment.  How do you ask?  Rolls piggy eyes.  Check out the text below.  I think you can figure out what text comes from who.  I’m now on phone restriction here at the Hotel Thompson.  Anymore suggestions my friends?

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Elf on the Shelf – OH NO!

Oh my friends.  I think I’m scared.  I think I may be in trouble.  It’s almost *that* time of the year again. You know the time.  *That* time when Don Juan comes out – shivers and squeals.  Wait a minute.  You’re looking confused.  You don’t know who Don Juan is?  You might be lucky that you don’t know.  Don Juan is the name of my Elf on the Shelf here at the Hotel Thompson.  But Don Juan – he’s “special”.  I mean really “special”.  You see, Don Juan is not made of the same cloth as all of these other elves that come out for the holidays.  Don Juan is evil – pure and simple.

You see these little Elf on the Shelves are a Christmas tradition.  In theory, they watch over the household and report back to the North Pole every night.  Once at the North Pole, they inform Santa of all of the happenings at their house.  By morning, the return back to the house in different positions so you know they’ve been to the North Pole.

But Don Juan. Shakes piggy head and shivers.  Don Juan has his own agenda.  He comes out and scares everyone here at the Hotel Thompson.  He does bad things…. some things I can’t even say out loud.  I didn’t want to be the only one with this out of control elf so last year I sent some cousins of Don Juan out to some friends here in blogville.  OMP – I do hope they behave this year.

The day after Thanksgiving  is when the elves get their special powers.  The Elf on the Shelves have special powers from the day after Thanksgiving until Christmas Day.

So I have a really, REALLY important question to you my friends in blogville.  Is there anyone that can take this little oinker in for a couple of weeks?  Please.  I’ll be nice… really.

.

Shivers just thinking of what Don Juan is up to… Squeals!

 

 

 

 

Door Watch 2016 – Sherlock Bones

Sherlock Bones here checking in on Door Watch 2016.  Watching that door is wiping me out.  I’m not sleeping.  I barely move except for the basics – you know a dog has to do what a dog has to do outside.  Other than that and eating, I’m watching and listening at that pesky door in the hallway.  I know that freak is behind the door listening to me too.  I can smell him.  The other day I said he smelled like peppermint and pine.  Evil squirrel said it best too – he has a faint smell of alcohol.  Don’t shake your head no – listen to the reasoning.  He smells like spiked eggnog.  Really!  The smells coming out of that door are somewhat revolting yet mesmerizing in a way.  I think it might be his magic powers coming to light.  I really hope not.

I was so tired last night that Houdini and Bacon tagged team and they stood watch while I got a little shut eye.  The picture of me tells you everything.  This Door Watch 2016 is taking its toll.  I drifted off to sleep land, content, warm with a full belly.  I had some of the most pleasant dreams.  One of which involved the little seasonal outcast… I found a picture to explain.

I hope you are continuing your watch on your misbehaved elves.  Time is ticking and getting closer to their freedom.  We must stand united!

 

 

Good Bye Don Juan

Good riddance!  Another year behind us with the freak gone.  Shakes piggy head.  I think I will need therapy this year to get over some of the antics that Don Juan did to us this year.  He has no morals.  No standards.  Not anything good is in his twisted little body.  He is bad.  Real bad.

The night before Christmas, dad was going to set out donuts and a Coke Zero for Santa.  I know that’s a weird combination but dad assured me that was what Santa wanted – Shakes piggy head.  You know what they say, “Don’t argue with your elders”.  Snorts with piggy laughter.

Dad went to go get the donuts and he found Don Juan was in his bag.  The little brat ate all of the donuts but one.  Daddy said Santa was *not* going to be happy.

So Don Juan – goodbye.  Good riddance.  Don’t let the door hit you on the butt on the way out of the Hotel Thompson.  Until we see each again, may you see nothing but darkness.  And watch out little guy – we will be prepared for you next year.  Oh yes… we will – evil piggy snorts.

 

Elf on the Shelf – OH NO!

Oh my friends.  I think I’m scared.  I think I may be in trouble.  It’s almost *that* time of the year again. You know the time.  *That* time when Don Juan comes out – shivers and squeals.  Wait a minute.  You’re looking confused.  You don’t know who Don Juan is?  You might be lucky that you don’t know.  Don Juan is the name of my Elf on the Shelf here at the Hotel Thompson.  But Don Juan – he’s “special”.  I mean really “special”.  You see, Don Juan is not made of the same cloth as all of these other elves that come out for the holidays.  Don Juan is evil – pure and simple.

You see these little Elf on the Shelves are a Christmas tradition.  In theory, they watch over the household and report back to the North Pole every night.  Once at the North Pole, they inform Santa of all of the happenings at their house.  By morning, the return back to the house in different positions so you know they’ve been to the North Pole.

But Don Juan. Shakes piggy head and shivers.  Don Juan has his own agenda.  He comes out and scares everyone here at the Hotel Thompson.  He does bad things…. some things I can’t even say out loud.  I didn’t want to be the only one with this out of control elf so last year I sent some cousins of Don Juan out to some friends here in blogville.  OMP – I do hope they behave this year.

The day after Thanksgiving  is when the elves get their special powers.  The Elf on the Shelves have special powers from the day after Thanksgiving until Christmas Day.

So I have a really, REALLY important question to you my friends in blogville.  Is there anyone that can take this little oinker in for a couple of weeks?  Please.  I’ll be nice… really.

.

Shivers just thinking of what Don Juan is up to… Squeals!

 

 

 

 

Dear Bacon

Dear Bacon –  Now sometimes when people meet at the park they give hugs.  Sometimes when dogs or cats meet at the park, they sniff butts.  Hey, it’s what we do, right?  Well we have had enough of the butt sniffing.  A group of my friends have decided that hugs are the new hello in the dog world.  Maybe you should join us in our new mission.  Signed Hugs

Dear Hugs – That sounds like a game plan my new friends.  I never got the butt sniffing thing for hello anyway.  Heck, I’ve smelled what comes out of my dad’s butt.  No way in this piggy world I want to sniff it to say hello.  Carry on the great work and I’ll be doing my part for the cause in giving hugs not butt sniffs!

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Dear Bacon –  I have drawn the line.  Mom always tells me I’m her little flower.  Now she is trying to make me her little flower.  Help.  Signed Bud in Progress

Dear Bud in Progress – I know it seems weird and it is.  But you gotta think on the other paw of this.  If it makes your human happy and she is daunting on you and giving you snacks, does it really matter?  You have found the pot at the end of the rainbow.

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Dear Bacon –  We are family.  Our humans wanted a Christmas card this year showing our family.  We said okay but we wanted to pose as we wanted to pose – no help from the humans.  So what do you think?  Do you think this screams We Are Family in our Christmas Card?  Signed Family

Dear Family – Way to go my friends – Bravo! Bravo!  That picture screams family, diversity, togetherness and being united as one.  What more could you do?  I have to ask – that picture “looks” like you all get along and are so close.  Are you?  Or was this a snap-this-picture-now-before-I-hurt-someone kind of picture?  Cause I’m telling you, you are pulling it off.  Great card – don’t forget to send me one here at the Hotel Thompson.

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 Dear Bacon –  We are buddies and sometimes secret hero’s.  Really, this is us clowning around during the night.  But during the day, we are the Pig and the Hare Hero’s.  We visit children’s hospitals and bring smiles to the faces we meet.  We highly recommend it.  Signed Hero’s at Large

Dear  Hero’s at Large – OMP!  You are certainly right my friends.  You are HERO’s.  Not all hero’s have to wear capes or have special talents.  Although I have to admit that you do have special powers of bring smiles to the faces that need it most.  Carry on my cute duo!

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Dear Bacon –  Can you believe this?  There I was sitting back, relaxing and minding my own business.  My human said that he needed socks and to get out of his drawer.  What?  First up human, mind who you are talking to and second, you should have thought about socks before you left your drawer open inviting me.  I think you should go without socks today because I’m not moving.  Move me or reach around me and you may be wearing a sock over your bandage.  What bandage?  They bandage from the boo-boo I will leave on your arm.  Carry on now and be gone.  Signed Sock Keeper

Dear Sock Keeper – You know you do have a great point there my friend.  They should have thought about that when they left the drawer open.  Snorts – don’t do anything I wouldn’t do in that drawer.

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Remember my friends – Dear Bacon can’t happen without YOU.  Please continue to send me your pictures and questions to my email address.