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Potato Stripper

Cartoon Credit:  2010 UFS, Inc

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6 Comments

Posted by on March 19, 2017 in Bacon

 

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Dear Bacon

Hey friends – I’m stepping in for big brother Bacon this week since he is away at Summer Camp.  I hope I brought him so justice – enjoy! ❤ Houdini


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Dear Houdini – This is not funny.  Really it’s not.  My human is crazy.  Can you save me please?  Signed Potato in Waiting

Dear Potato in Waiting – BARKS!  I gotta admit that it’s a little funny.  Really think about it.  How many anipals can say they look like a hot potato and you are hot.  I say save the look for Halloween and go for it.  You will win so many contests for originality and beauty.


20131208-211622.jpgDear Houdini – I heard about your accident the other day with a pillow that exploded at the Hotel Thompson.  I *know* you can relate.  You *have* to relate.  I was sitting on the front porch minding my own business when this cushion suddenly blew up for no apparent reason.  I was just as shocked as everyone else.  Signed Mystified

Dear Mystified – I know!  It’s unbelievable how those things happen out of the blue – spontaneous combustion does happen.  It is highly documented.  I think pillows only do this when dogs are around so that we can personally take the blame.  Yeah – that has to be it.  Surely it’s not because of something us sweet devout pooches did.  No way!  I say cover yourself my friend.  No camera documentation means you didn’t do it.  I’m sticking to that story and you should too!

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Dear Houdini – I know you are just a mere dog but let me tell you something, I’ve earned my stripes.  I’m fierce.  I’m strong.  I’m a rocking cat that can shake your world if you don’t obey me.  You just remember that about us cats okay.  Cats rule and dogs drool!  Signed Stripes

Dear Stripes – Barks and laughter!   Wait a minute while I pick myself up from laughing and rolling around here on the floor.  Cats rule and dogs drool – too funny.  Okay maybe we dogs do drool when we are excited but there is no way that cats rule – sorry Hemi and Mouse Girl here.  Us doggies are higher on the who is in charge chain.  And your stripes – oh my dog!  Really?  Walk away from the sun my friend and tell me about those stripes then – Barks!


 

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Dear Houdini – There I was sitting on the sofa from another long day of working on the farm.  I was so exhausted.  I had the television on for sound and that’s when I saw it.  A commercial for a dating service for Farmers Only.  WOW!  I never knew it existed.  Do you think I have a chance with a lady?  Signed Stetson

Dear Stetson – YES you do.  We all have chances.  And how could anyone say no to a cowboy hat?  Mommy says those are hot!


20131208-211746.jpgDear Houdini – There is a problem with this slide.  Really there is.  I slide down it all of the time.  But this date, I did’t slide.  What the hamster world happened?  Signed Stuck

Dear Stuck – Perhaps it was too dry to slide down. Perhaps you have more fluff than usual and it was a little tight?  It could happen.  I know sometimes my t-shirts get a little snug like that and I have to cut back a bit.  And then perhaps you just need a gentle push?  Call me if you need some assistance.  I’ll get the jaws of life out to get you out of a tight spot.  In the meantime, take it easy okay.


Remember Dear Bacon can’t happen without you my friends.  Keep your letters and pictures coming to my email.

 
23 Comments

Posted by on July 28, 2015 in Bacon, Dear Bacon

 

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Dear Bacon

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 Dear Bacon, Going undercover these days is a hard job. I thought I would go inconcheeto. It seem to be working too. That is until I got hungry and ate my disguise. Drats. Busted again. You ever go undercover? Signed Inconcheeto

Dear Inconcheeto, I’m sorry. What was the question? I saw your disguise and immediately got the munchies. Snorts. Oh that’s right, do I ever go undercover? Sure. When I go to sleep in my toddle bed at night. Double snorts and rolls with laughter. Keep practicing my friend. You are looking good.


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Dear Bacon, I’m a great hunter. I go out deer hunting with my master all of the time. I’m very determined and can smell a deer a mile away. Nothing slows me down ever as you can tell from this great picture of me. Signed Nose to the Ground

Dear Nose to the Ground, Perhaps – and this is just a mere suggestion – you might want to look up and around every once in a while. I’m just saying. You might see a little more of your “environment” when you do. Snorts – carry on.
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Dear Bacon? Really? My human finds me in this predicament. Does he help? Of course not. Oh no. The human has to snap a few pictures first before rescuing me. Really? What the kitty heavens is this world coming to? Signed Disgusted Kitty

Dear Disgusted Kitty, There is only one thing that I can say in this kind of situation – payback. I think some well placed fur balls in some slippers would be adequate. Happy pay back 🙂

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Dear Bacon, Okay ladies. Here I am. I’m giving away free kisses. Whatcha think pig? Can you beat this? Signed Stud

Dear Stud, That’s quite the costume you have there friend. Don’t you worry. I can get all the ladies I want and I don’t need a costume. All I need is this cute little snout and sexy pot belly. Beat that – snorts.

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Dear Bacon, I think I may need some help. I read how your dad looks at you with this hunger. I think my dad is doing the same thing with me. Can you help? Signed Spud

Dear Spud, Oh dear piggy heavens above. Okay my friend. First off, walk away from the ledge in which you stand and get to a safe place. I’m calling DDFS (Department of Dog and Family Services) right now. Be safe.

 .


 

Remember my friends – keep the letters and pictures coming so we can continue Dear Bacon issues.  

 
11 Comments

Posted by on January 20, 2015 in Dear Bacon

 

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This Sounds Like Me – You Think?

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19 Comments

Posted by on July 20, 2014 in Bacon

 

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Snorticles on Daddy

This is a little funny about one of mom/dad’s recent grocery adventures. There is never a dull moment with either of them when I let them out in the wild by themselves. Tsk Tsk – will they ever grow up?

Mom is a coupon clipper from way back. She says that the more money she saves, the more she can keep me in the life that I’ve grown accustomed to. I like the sound of that so I always help her clip.  She kind of makes it a game every week to see how much money she can save.  Here is an example of this adventure.

Before coupons:                       After coupons:                              How much in coupons:

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So as you can see, she has fun every two weeks keeping two humans, one oinker and two cats.  It’s kind of like a little game for her.  But that’s another posting altogether my friends 🙂

So mom and dad are in search for a product in the store that mom has a FREE coupon for.  Up/down the aisles they went just looking and finally they find it.  Of course, dad being well dad, questions mom as to what kind she got.  She tells him it was beef stroganoff.  He made a funny little whimper sound like he was being choosey.  Snorts – yeah right in our family, choosey gets you nothing.  Dad, when will you ever learn?  So mom tells him that she will fix it, it will be wonderful and he will like it.  His reply, “Whatever you say.”  Shakes piggy head, dad really? Who – ask me who – just happens to be within ear shot of this entire ordeal?  The store manager.  He looks at dad and tells him, “You know my friend the wife is *always* right.”  Dad doesn’t miss a beat and replies back, “Are you married to my wife too?”  Snorts – way to go dad.  Twist that size 10 shoe fully into your mouth.  I’m thinking I might get to sleep in the Sleep Number bed tonight while you have my toddler bed – snorts.

Onward to the produce department they shuffled where they met a woman at the potatoes.  This woman, let’s just say she doesn’t get out much.  She was making the biggest deal over the ‘size’ of the potatoes.  She just kept going on about how they were the biggest she had ever seen.  Mom rolls her eyes and keeps shopping.  No, not that dad of mine.  He has to encourage her with the biggest she has even seen prompting her in saying, “Yep, those are some big potatoes.”  Does it help to know that said woman fawning over the potatoes is well gorgeous and somewhat endowed herself?  She strikes up the conversation over the said potatoes that mom swears sounds more like a porn prologue than potato shopping.  Eventually, mom couldn’t take it anymore and went to grab rescue dad from Ms. Potato Porn mumbling something about going and finding her own Mr. Potato Head.

Dad oh dad of mine.  Remember when you got married what that glorious friend of yours that had been married for 40 years told you?  Let me help you out.  He said,

Either you can be right or you can be happy.  You can’t be both.

That great and sound advice has worked for you now what altogether going on 26 years.  Keep that in mind tonight when you’re sleeping in my bed and I’m in the Sleep Number bed.  Just do me a favor okay.  Set my side to 65 when you get your pillow 🙂  snorts.

 
18 Comments

Posted by on August 15, 2013 in Bacon

 

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Mom’s Birthday Lunch – WOW!

Today was a great and wonderful day for mom with her birthday.  Daddy took her to one of their favorite restaurants called Fogo de Chão (pronounced fo-go dèe shoun) for lunch downtown Atlanta, Georgia.  This place is superdelicious even from this oinker’s point of view… not that *I* would know first hand.  For some reason, I don’t think they would be too accommodating for me to walk in and order lunch.  Then again.. they might if *I* was lunch but that’s not going to happen okay! Snorts – I’ll just live vicariously through mom and dad with their fantastic lunch date.

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When you first get seated at your table, there is this round disc that is next to each plate.  Just like a stop light – flip it to green for “Come on Gauchos bring me some meat” or flip it to red for “Hold back cowboys – I need a moment” – snort. 

But, I’m getting way ahead of myself.

 

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After you get settled and order your drinks, you can go visit their magnificent salad bar.  And trust me, I say salad bar but mom and dad said it was a culinary experience.  There’s everything on that bar!  Aged parmesan, aged manchego cheese, artichokes, fresh mozzarella, smoked salmon, shiitake mushrooms, all kinds of different breads, potato salad, apple salad, tomato/cucumber salad and huge green and black olives.  Mom said they even had fried bacon strips on the salad bar. I admit that this scared me for just a few minutes and had me shaking in my hooves.  Fried bacon – that would be me?!  But, mom calmed me down and explained that it wasn’t this type of piggy.  You know, the loveable, snuggable, huggable miniature pot bellied pig.  I’m not for eating – just loving 🙂 winks

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After you get your fill of the ‘salad bar’, the wonderful gauchos will bring some awesome side dishes to your table.  They include crispy polenta, garlic mashed potatoes and caramelized bananas.  They also bring these delectable little cheesy rolls they call pão de queijo to the table in little baskets.  Mom says they are heavenly.  She and dad went through THREE baskets of them.  I was shocked!  But, I told mom that it was her birthday and we *all* know that there are absolutely no calories on one’s birthday, right?!  And I must admit, these rolls are out of this world.  Someone – looking around – brought this oinker back one.  Now I understand why they had three baskets – oohh yummy!

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Now it’s time to flip that little card to green and bring on the meat!  Gauchos start flocking to your table to carve meat right in front of you.  It’s amazing!  This is daddy getting one of his favorites called Picanha (pronounced pea-CAN-ya).  Picanha is top sirloin, so juicy that it literally almost melts in your mouth!  Daddy says it’s even better when there is a some ‘fat’ on the edges that are caramelized from the heat of cooking over the fire.  They have all kinds of meat that are served.  They are:

  • Filet Mignon which dad says is THUD delicious – either bacon wrapped or without bacon
  • Beef Ancho (pronounced beef AN-cho) which is rib eye
  • Alcatra (pronounced al-CAT-ra) which is top sirloin
  • Fraldinha (pronounced fral-DIN-ya) which is bottom sirloin
  • Cordeiro (pronounced cor-DAY-roo) which is lamb.  You can get lamb chops or leg of lamb  Either way is succulent with a little bit of mint marinade on the side!
  • Frango (pronounced FRAHN-go) which is chicken.  You can get chicken legs or bacon wrapped chicken breasts.
  • Costela de Porco (pronounced co-STELL-a gee PO-co) which is pork ribs.
  • Lombo (pronounced LOM-bo) which is pork loin.  This is encrusted with parmesan cheese coating before roasting over an open flame.
  • Linguica (pronounced lin-GWEE-sa) which is sausage.

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And mom’s favorite is Costela (pronounced co-STELL-a) which is beef ribs.  Mommy says this gaucho has the hardest job of all of the gauchos at the restaurant.  Not only does he have to carve the meat, he has to hold the cutting board as well.  That is some job – right?!  But mommy says it’s all worth it because the meat just melts in your mouth.  And, she loves the beef ribs with a side of horseradish sauce.  Yummy!

 

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And then to top off the meal – they brought mommy birthday flan with happy birthday written on the plate.  So sweet, huh?  Mommy and daddy said it was so great – not too sweet.

So you see, mommy had a terrific birthday lunch.  I’m glad I could share the pictures and fun with you.  Mommy would be for some reason she is sleeping.  She said she ate too much – snorts.  The amateur – double snorts.

 
23 Comments

Posted by on July 3, 2013 in Bacon

 

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Happy Weekend Equals Happy Pig

 

20130107-082117.jpgI love long weekends when mom and dad are home.  It seems like when that happens, I get a lot of attention.  Not that I’m an attention hog or anything but they are fun weekends.

Yesterday was dad’s birthday.  Bless the old man he turned 50!  Mom says that the number is high but he still acts like 5 so we’re okay.  I pulled my king size bankie all the way into the front room and was rolling on it.  Dad thought he would play ball with me.  I asked him if he could, you know, with his age and everything – LOL

We played ball for over an hour.  He would roll it down the hall and I would go and push it back with my snout.  Even the purr things tried to get in on my play time.  It was really fun.  Mom was going to video tape it but she was busy with dinner. 

 

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When she came back in the living room to tell us to wash up for dinner, this is how she found me on my bankie.  Mom was like what happened?  Dad told her that he tuckered me out from playing ball.  Well, he did.  Mom fed me my dinner and I went to my room to take a recharge nap from play time.  I couldn’t believe how tired I was!

After mom and dad’s dinner, I came out all sleepy looking.  Mom just laughed at me.  I couldn’t even walk a straight line I was so tired. 

But do you know what the best thing was?  Dad let me have his baked potato peel – he ate the inside and kept the outside for me.  Even on his birthday he was sharing.  That’s my daddy!  It was fantastic too.  Afterwards, I jumped on the couch with mom and we watched television for a short while.  But I think with that wonderful dinner, we were all tired.  Mom made us all go to bed early last night to get some rest.

Hope your weekend was wonderful as well my friends –

Hogs and Kisses – Bacon 

 
2 Comments

Posted by on January 7, 2013 in Uncategorized

 

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