Merry Christmas

Last night, I made a deal with Hemi and Houdini.  We were going to hang out near the Mickey Mouse lamp pole all night in hopes of seeing the mysterious Santa Claus.  Mom/dad told us all that he wouldn’t come as long as our eyes were open.  So in preparation, we taped them open just in case Mr. Sandman came first.  We waited and waited to no avail.  Hemi and Houdini got frustrated and went to mom/dad’s room to sleep on the Select Comfort.  I myself was determined.  I mean hey, they don’t call me pig headed for nothing, right?  Snorts.

So I waited and waited – no snow – no reindeers – no fatman in red.  I was having a hard time trying to stay awake.  I jumped on the sofa and that was a big mistake.  Before I knew it, my eyes were droopy, my breathing had slowed and I had drifted off to peace on earth.

I’m not sure how much time had passed but something awakened me and it wasn’t my gas.  I kept one eye closed and barely opened the other.  To my surprise I saw a big fat guy all in red.  He was quietly putting pretty wrapped presents around the pole that he had first mistaken as a stripper pole – oh dear Lord.  But hold everything and wait a minute what is that caught my attention?  A woman was beside him wearing next to nothing.  No wonder for his confusion on the pole.  The next thing that happened scarred me for life when Santa grabbed said woman and gave her a kiss to last.  OMP (oh my pig).  What was that?  She turned and grinned and I saw it wasn’t a woman – it was my mom!  What will daddy think – what will daddy say.  I saw mommy kissing Santa Claus.  THUD – piggy down.

I shut my eyes so very fast.  This is not something that a pig wants to last.  When I reopened my eyes much to my amazement, everyone was gone but the presents were still there – all decorated – all wrapped – tucked in neatly around the Mickey Mouse pole lamp.  But something caught my eye in the corner near one box.  It was green and waving, “Come take a look”.  I quietly exited off my sofa and softly hooved my way across the floor.  Oh dear Lord – it was a $20.00 bill – I guess Santa did get a dance from the lap pole after all.

I squealed and ran down to my room in a hurry and tucked myself in to my toddler bed.  When then what did I hear?  Soft taps on the roof, a jingle of bells and in a loud bellow I heard a man say, “Merry Christmas to all and to all a good night!”

 

 

Decorating for the Holidays

 Happy day my friends.  We finally got everything together here at the Hotel Thompson and finished decorating for the holidays.  We don’t put up a tree here for obvious reasons – the two H’s – Hemi and Houdini.  That tree wouldn’t stand five minutes being decorated in our living room.  Trust me on that.  Between the purr thing climbing it and exploring, the puppy watering it and chewing on the bottom branches and well me – looks innocently – head bunting it, it would get tired and fall down to sleep.  I’m just saying and being realistic here.  It’s a good thing mom and dad agree.

So no tree here.  But don’t frown.  We have a Mickey Mouse lamp pole.  That fits in perfect here at the Hotel Thompson.  You know my mom LOVES that mouse with the gloves and we still get the pretty lights from the pole.  And the pole is sturdy.  I mean really sturdy like 20-25 pounds.  Hey, it’s gotta be sturdy to hold that huge Mickey Mouse head – snorts.

 We also put out my stocking for Christmas.  What?  You think it’s too small?  I told mommy I needed a bigger one.  One can never be too big for all of the goodies that dear Santa might leave in my stocking.  You know – like fruits, vegetables, Gold Fish and Animal Crackers – snorts.

I just have to find the perfect place to hang my stocking.  For some reason, daddy says we can’t put it on the fireplace mantle this year.  Something about it pulling down on the mantle last year.  One heavy stocking and your scarred for life huh?  Bummer daddy.

So I have to find a place for my little stocking.  I’m thinking on the back of the front room door.  That would surely be a nice place to put it.  And also Santa won’t miss it, right?  What do you think.  Any suggestions?

So who wants to kiss the Bacon?  Snorts

 

Merry Christmas

Last night, I made a deal with the purr things.  We were going to hang out near the Mickey Mouse lamp pole all night in hopes of seeing the mysterious Santa Claus.  Mom/dad told us all that he wouldn’t come as long as our eyes were open.  So in preparation, we taped them open just in case Mr. Sandman came first.  We waited and waited to no avail.  The purr things got frustrated and went to mom/dad’s room to sleep on the Select Comfort.  I myself was determined.  I mean hey, they don’t call me pig headed for nothing, right?  Snorts.

So I waited and waited – no snow – no reindeers – no fatman in red.  I was having a hard time trying to stay awake.  I jumped on the sofa and that was a big mistake.  Before I knew it, my eyes were droopy, my breathing had slowed and I had drifted off to peace on earth.

I’m not sure how much time had passed but something awakened me and it wasn’t my gas.  I kept one eye closed and barely opened the other.  To my surprise I saw a big fat guy all in red.  He was quietly putting pretty wrapped presents around the pole that he had first mistaken as a stripper pole – oh dear Lord.  But hold everything and wait a minute what is that caught my attention?  A woman was beside him wearing next to nothing.  No wonder for his confusion on the pole.  The next thing that happened scarred me for life when Santa grabbed said woman and gave her a kiss to last.  OMP (oh my pig).  What was that?  She turned and grinned and I saw it wasn’t a woman – it was my mom!  What will daddy think – what will daddy say.  I saw mommy kissing Santa Claus.  THUD – piggy down.

I shut my eyes so very fast.  This is not something that a pig wants to last.  When I reopened my eyes much to my amazement, everyone was gone but the presents were still there – all decorated – all wrapped – tucked in neatly around the Mickey Mouse pole lamp.  But something caught my eye in the corner near one box.  It was green and waving, “Come take a look”.  I quietly exited off my sofa and softly hooved my way across the floor.  Oh dear Lord – it was a $20.00 bill – I guess Santa did get a dance from the lap pole after all.

I squealed and ran down to my room in a hurry and tucked myself in to my toddler bed.  When then what did I hear?  Soft taps on the roof, a jingle of bells and in a loud bellow I heard a man say, “Merry Christmas to all and to all a good night!”

 

Decorating for the Holidays

 Happy Monday my friends.  We finally got everything together here at the Hotel Thompson and finished decorating for the holidays.  We don’t put up a tree here for obvious reasons – two purr things, a pig and a puppy now.  That tree wouldn’t stand five minutes being decorated in our living room.  Trust me on that.  Between the purr things climbing it and exploring, the puppy watering it and chewing on the bottom branches and well me – looks innocently – head bunting it, it would get tired and fall down to sleep.  I’m just saying and being realistic here.  It’s a good thing mom and dad agree.

So no tree here.  But don’t frown.  We have a Mickey Mouse lamp pole.  That fits in perfect here at the Hotel Thompson.  You know my mom LOVES that mouse with the gloves and we still get the pretty lights from the pole.  And the pole is sturdy.  I mean really sturdy like 20-25 pounds.  Hey, it’s gotta be sturdy to hold that huge Mickey Mouse head – snorts.

 We also put out my stocking for Christmas.  What?  You think it’s too small?  I told mommy I needed a bigger one.  One can never be too big for all of the goodies that dear Santa might leave in my stocking.  You know – like fruits, vegetables, Gold Fish and Animal Crackers – snorts.

I just have to find the perfect place to hang my stocking.  For some reason, daddy says we can’t put it on the fireplace mantle this year.  Something about it pulling down on the mantle last year.  One heavy stocking and your scarred for life huh?  Bummer daddy.

So I have to find a place for my little stocking.  I’m thinking on the back of the front room door.  That would surely be a nice place to put it.  And also Santa won’t miss it, right?  What do you think.  Any suggestions?

So who wants to kiss the Bacon?  Snorts

 

Awesome – More House Problems?

WOW friends – you’re not going to believe this.  I guess we are having problems with the roof again.  Mommy set up a pole in her bedroom.  I guess she thinks the roof will cave in or something. 

 

 

How Many Likes Can This Pig Get??

Daddy says if I come up with an unique post and get more likes on this post than ever before in ONE day, he will get me my pool for my magical back yard.  Can you help a pig out my friends?  Please share.  I really, REALLY want my pool this year.

 

Dear Bacon

Dear Bacon,

Who says that the natural order of things in nature have to be that we don’t get along?  My name is Gull and this is my close pal Gator.  We’re like two peas in a pod.  We often play in the water like this.  Gator protects me from other things in the water and we have fun.  Can you believe that it actually blows peoples minds when they see us like this?  Signed Born to be Different

Dear Born to be Different,

Hey my friends.  I think that is absolutely wonderful to have that kind of friendship.  I’m sure the other animals in the water look at you like a two piece snack from KFC but as long Gator is there to protect you – awesomesauce!

.

Dear Bacon,

The humans.  They will pay for this get up.  I feel totally ridiculous.  The nerve to dress me up as some kind of twisted frog.  I think the look on my face tells you everything you need to know.  Do you have any ideas on how I can get the humans back?  Signed Feeling Froggy

Dear Feeling Froggy,

WOW!  Now that is some sort of predicament my friend.  I feel you 100%.  Your humans really did have some nerve in dressing you like a Kermit want to be.  I don’t know whether to laugh or cry with you on that get up.  As far as pay back – evil piggy snorts.  The humans they do have to sleep at some point.  I’m sure you can think of so many different ways to bring down the wrath of Froggy upon them.  Just act innocent in whatever you decide.

P.S.  Can I borrow that outfit for Halloween?  Maybe I can snatch Miss Piggy with it.

.
.
Dear Bacon,
Talk about animal labor laws.  I often read about your life at the Hotel Thompson and how they make you ‘work for your food’ in a way.  Never complain again my friend.  My humans put me to work out in nature in concrete.  It’s a hard and tedious job… especially in this get up.  Help me please.  Signed Mason

Dear Mason,
Oh snap.  Your humans weren’t playing any games were they my friend?  Bless your little heart.  Not only did they dress you but you have to wear those indestructible contruction boots.  Shakes piggy head.  I’m so sorry pal.  I will *never* again complain about having to bring my dirty stuff to the laundry room.  Ever.

P.S.  Dad needs some help expanding the driveway.  When you get done with that project, can you help a human out?

.

Dear Bacon,
What?  Haven’t you ever seen a hamster with his lady working the pole?  Blonde is one of the best pole dancers out there.  I suggest this kind of get up for your bedroom pig.  You might get some girlfriends then.  HA!  Signed Boris

Dear Boris,

OMP (oh my pig!)  My eyes!  What has been seen can not be unseen.  We really don’t need to see this my friend.  Although daddy was interested in that pole action, me and mom are not – snorts.  Ya’ll carry on in the privacy of your bedroom.  And don’t worry about me and girlfriends.  I have one 🙂

.

*Remember friends – keep your pictures and questions coming.  Send them to me at baconthompson@gmail.com

 

Merry Christmas

Last night, I made a deal with the purr things.  We were going to hang out near the Mickey Mouse lamp pole all night in hopes of seeing the mysterious Santa Claus.  Mom/dad told us all that he wouldn’t come as long as our eyes were open.  So in preparation, we taped them open just in case Mr. Sandman came first.  We waited and waited to no avail.  The purr things got frustrated and went to mom/dad’s room to sleep on the Select Comfort.  I myself was determined.  I mean hey, they don’t call me pig headed for nothing, right?  Snorts.

So I waited and waited – no snow – no reindeers – no fatman in red.  I was having a hard time trying to stay awake.  I jumped on the sofa and that was a big mistake.  Before I knew it, my eyes were droopy, my breathing had slowed and I had drifted off to peace on earth.

I’m not sure how much time had passed but something awakened me and it wasn’t my gas.  I kept one eye closed and barely opened the other.  To my surprise I saw a big fat guy all in red.  He was quietly putting pretty wrapped presents around the pole that he had first mistaken as a stripper pole – oh dear Lord.  But hold everything and wait a minute what is that caught my attention?  A woman was beside him wearing next to nothing.  No wonder for his confusion on the pole.  The next thing that happened scarred me for life when Santa grabbed said woman and gave her a kiss to last.  OMP (oh my pig).  What was that?  She turned and grinned and I saw it wasn’t a woman – it was my mom!  What will daddy think – what will daddy say.  I saw mommy kissing Santa Claus.  THUD – piggy down.

I shut my eyes so very fast.  This is not something that a pig wants to last.  When I reopened my eyes much to my amazement, everyone was gone but the presents were still there – all decorated – all wrapped – tucked in neatly around the Mickey Mouse pole lamp.  But something caught my eye in the corner near one box.  It was green and waving, “Come take a look”.  I quietly exited off my sofa and softly hooved my way across the floor.  Oh dear Lord – it was a $20.00 bill – I guess Santa did get a dance from the lap pole after all.

I squealed and ran down to my room in a hurry and tucked myself in to my toddler bed.  When then what did I hear?  Soft taps on the roof, a jingle of bells and in a loud bellow I heard a man say, “Merry Christmas to all and to all a good night!”

 

Dear Bacon – Special Edition

Tis the season to be merry my friends!  Today, we have a very special issue of Dear Bacon.  I bet a lot of you know my special friend.  He’s been hanging (literally) around my house since Thanksgiving.  For those that don’t know him, I’ll tell you a little back ground.

The Elf on the Shelf: A Christmas Tradition came out in 2005 in a children’s book.  The little Elf that comes with the book has a job between Thanksgiving and Christmas Eve.  His main job is to watch over the household and report back to the North Pole nightly on if the people are naughty or nice.  He comes back to the household by morning.  There’s one important thing about the Elf.  You don’t touch him as doing so will erase any Christmas magic that has been blessed upon him.  Every morning that he comes back from the North Pole, people in the household find him in different places.  But remember, it’s all magic!

So in honor of Christmas, we have the Thompson Elf – Don Juan – representing in the Dear Bacon issue.  We hope you enjoy.  XOXO – Bacon

Dear Don Juan,

You’re a fellow Elf.  You know times are hard working for the fat guy.  We work once a year.  It’s hard to make a living like this.  Sometimes we gotta do what we gotta do, right?  Signed Elf Burglar

Dear Elf Burglar,

Step.away.from.the.pig.  Don’t make me call the Elf Union.  Elves do not steal in the houses that we are to watch over.  Your special Christmas powers can be revoked with a snap of a finger.  You know there are other jobs you can work while in the off season.  I’ve heard Walmart is looking for door greeters.  Or perhaps you can join a traveling circus during down times.  Anything but stealing my fellow Elf.

.

Dear Don Juan,

Last night, the humans they stayed up until the whee hours of the morning making cookies.  I just thought I would make my mark.  You like?  Signed Droopy

Dear Droopy,

I like and I approve.  This is what I’m talking about.  Good little elves help out around the house not steal.  Way to go my friend!

.

Dear Don Juan,

I’ve read on Bacon’s blog that his human father likes to play Angry Birds.  Well, I thought I would share this photo for you to take notes on future escapades.  Enjoy my friend.  Signed Angry Elf

Dear Angry Elf,

That’s what I’m talking about!  Thanks for the idea.  I definitely will pursue this one tonight.. perhaps 🙂

.

Dear Don Juan,

When you have to go, you gotta go.  The humans, they caught a picture of me in mid dunk.  Thank goodness I was holding on and the humans didn’t see me in action.  Signed Pepper Elf

Dear Pepper Elf,

Hey, you’re right.  It’s nature.  It’s part of life.  At least you’re potty trained.  Tis the season for magic in all forms.

.

.

Dear Don Juan,

What?  We get kind of bored at night staying up all by ourselves.  Sometimes we get back from reporting in at the the North Pole early. We gotta do something in our spare time for just us.  I met this chick named Frankie Stein from Monster High.  Dude, she has some moves!  Signed Pole Elf

Dear Pole Elf,

Oh dear.  This can’t be good.  Where did you get that money?  And dear Lord, you’re sitting on baby food.  There’s a baby in the house.  Step away from the pole and tell Ms. Stein to put on some clothing.  Shakes head.. I may need to investigate this further.  Can you email me Ms. Stein’s telephone number?  You know, for my paperwork.

.

Dear Don Juan,

It’s just a little nick and tuck.  What can I say?  He was on the naughty list.  I had to do something to snap him into reality that this is the Christmas season.  Thoughts?  Signed Barber Elf

Dear Barber Elf,

Are you insane?!  We can’t do that.  That poor fellow is going to be scared for life.  Listen here you young Elf, report back to the North Pole ASAP.  I’ve gotta get this taken care of with the humans.  Where’s is that Easter bunny when you need him?

.

Dear blogville,  I hope you enjoyed this special of Dear Bacon – Elf on the Shelf.  Remember, tonight is the big night.  Make sure you’re extra good and leave out cookies.  I’ve heard Santa likes chocolate chip and macadamia.  Well, that’s what my human daddy tells me.  XOXO – Bacon

Note:  Pictures were sent in by friends of mom who emailed them to me with questions.

 

We *Finally* Decorated

So I told you that mom/dad were tossing around ideas about how to decorate for the holidays this year. They didn’t want to put up a tree because of the fiasco last year. I know – I know. The tree got tired! That’s my story and I’m sticking to it – snorts.

So you all know what a crazy person how my mom loves Mickey Mouse. Well, they found a Mickey Mouse lamp post – isn’t it adorable?! And it’s very sturdy… you know in case it gets tired. They said Santa will come down the chimney and put presents around the base of the pole. Isn’t that excited and neat? I was wondering how he was going to find us without a tree. But this is like super best, right?

So the house is decorated. Cookies will be made and put out for the jolly ole guy. I guess it’s time to make out my Christmas list. I’ve put a lot of thought into this. Here I go:

Bacon’s Christmas List 2013

• I wish all of my friends here in blogville a wonderful Christmas and a great New Year. May all of their wishes come true. May all of their aches and pains go away. May they have all of the items they wish and want.
• I wish for my dads vision to be touched so that he can see mom’s blue eyes once again.
• I wish for mom’s mean old Rheumatoid Arthritis to go somewhere else and live for a change so that mom’s snap, crackle and pop subsides.
• I wish for the purr things here at the Hotel Thompson to get extra kibbles and treats.
• And Santa if there is anything left in your bag of tricks after these other requests are granted, I wish for my stocking to be filled with wonderful fruits and veggies. And one more thing. I know this is asking for a lot but I heard daddy singing about wanting this in the shower and now I kind of want one too. And you just need to bring one. I promise to share. Please. I really want a hippopotamus for Christmas.

God bless you Santa! And thank you for all of my friends and family!