Dear Bacon

Dear Bacon – Who says that the natural order of things in nature have to be that we don’t get along?  My name is Gull and this is my close pal Gator.

We’re like two peas in a pod.  We often play in the water like this.  Gator protects me from other things in the water and we have fun.  Can you believe that it actually blows peoples minds when they see us like this?  Signed Born to be Different

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Dear Born to be Different – Hey my friends.  I think that is absolutely wonderful to have that kind of friendship.

I’m sure the other animals in the water look at you like a two piece snack from KFC but as long Gator is there to protect you – awesomesauce!

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Dear Bacon – The humans.  They will pay for this get up.  I feel totally ridiculous.  The nerve to dress me up as some kind of twisted frog.  I think the look on my face tells you everything you need to know.  Do you have any ideas on how I can get the humans back?  Signed Feeling Froggy

Dear Feeling Froggy – WOW!  Now that is some sort of predicament my friend.  I feel you 100%.  Your humans really did have some nerve in dressing you like a Kermit want to be.  I don’t know whether to laugh or cry with you on that get up.  As far as pay back – evil piggy snorts.

The humans they do have to sleep at some point.  I’m sure you can think of so many different ways to bring down the wrath of Froggy upon them.  Just act innocent in whatever you decide.

P.S.  Can I borrow that outfit for Halloween?  Maybe I can snatch Miss Piggy with it.

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Dear Bacon – Talk about animal labor laws.  I often read about your life at the Hotel Thompson and how they make you ‘work for your food’ in a way.  Never complain again my friend.  My humans put me to work out in nature in concrete.  It’s a hard and tedious job… especially in this get up.  Help me please.  Signed Mason

Dear Mason – Oh snap.  Your humans weren’t playing any games were they my friend?  Bless your little heart.  Not only did they dress you but you have to wear those indestructible construction boots.  Shakes piggy head.  I’m so sorry pal.  I will *never* again complain about having to bring my dirty stuff to the laundry room.  Ever.

P.S.  Dad needs some help expanding the driveway.  When you get done with that project, can you help a human out?

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Dear Bacon – What?  Haven’t you ever seen a hamster with his lady working the pole?  Blondie is one of the best pole dancers out there.  I suggest this kind of get up for your bedroom pig.  You might get some girlfriends then.  HA!  Signed Boris

Dear Boris – OMP (oh my pig!)  My eyes!  What has been seen can not be unseen.  We really don’t need to see this my friend.  Although daddy was interested in that pole action, me and mom are not – snorts.  Ya’ll carry on in the privacy of your bedroom.  And don’t worry about me and girlfriends.  I have one 🙂

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Dear Bacon

Dear Bacon – What?  Us reindeer can’t make a living only working one time a year at Christmas.  So what do we do for part time gigs?  Well I myself go from flea market to flea market taking pictures with the humans. Sometimes just for fun, I’ll stick my tongue out.  For some reasons, the humans love that.  Hey – it’s a living in between working for the fat dude.  Signed Donner

Dear Donner – You know I really never did think about what ya’ll did for the rest of the year.  I guess you would have to make some money during the year.  And hey, why not stick your tongue out?  I bet you make more money doing that, right?  Way to go my friend.  If you are ever near these parts, stop in for some treats.

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Dear Bacon – What has been seen can not now be unseen.  Why do the humans think they can run naked throughout the house when other humans are not around?  Are we not considered family?  Nobody wants to see that – put some clothes on.  And let me just say, just because other humans aren’t around, we don’t want to smell your farts either.  My gosh – what was that a motor boat??  Signed Shocked

Dear Shocked – WOW – it must have been a vision that can not be erased from your memory.  The look on your face tells me everything. And the run by motor boat, it had to be your dad, wasn’t it?  Shakes piggy head.  My dad does that too and then tries to blame it on me when mom walks in the room.  Dude, they ought to bottle that stuff up for hazardous materials!

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 Dear Bacon – For some reason, I don’t think that humans are suppose to get up and then fall over.  I saw my mistress working at her desk, stand up and then fall over and go boom.  Her eyes were shut and everything.  I just sat here and watched… and waited.  Is it normal?  Do you humans just get tired like this?  Signed Watcher

Dear Watcher – Shakes head no.  I don’t think that is normal my friend.  Did she finally get up?  Maybe she was looking at the family budget.  Sometimes my dad’s eyes will roll to the back of his head when he looks at the budget at the end of the month.  Yeah – maybe that’s it.  For some reasons, numbers do that to humans.  I don’t get it either.  I mean what’s to budget for?  Just our food is important.

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Dear Bacon – What?  Haven’t you ever seen a kangaroo with his rabbit?  This is my buddy Hopper – he’s my pal.  He never talks back and goes everywhere I do.  Sure my friends talk about me behind my back but they’re just jealous.  Don’t you have a friend too?  Signed Hopper Times Two

Dear Hopper Times Two – Who are other people to judge?  If you want Hopper around with you all of the time, so be it.  I have little friends around the Hotel Thompson that I count as my friends.  It’s no different.  You be your own kangaroo and don’t worry about what people say behind your back.  They are just jealous that they don’t have a close friend like yours.  Hop on and take care!

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Dear Bacon – I’m just a sexy little feline trying to pay her way through cat school.  They only way I can make some money is buy working the poles.  I practice at home on the legs to any table I can find at home during the day.  Then at night, I hit the club and work my magic.  What do you think about this move?  Sexy enough for you?  Signed Magic Kitty

Dear Magic Kitty – Well, um, what can I say?  You have the moves like Jagger?  You can get into positions that I’ve never seen before.  But I gotta ask…. where do they put the money?

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 Dear Bacon – My mother thinks I’m always too mean towards my little brother and that I need to show him how much I really love him.  I can do that, I said, so I decided to give him this great big hug.  Do you believe he had the nerve to stick his tongue out at me and tell Mommy I was still being mean to him?  Apparently hugging gets you put in time out these days…. it’s not fair, I tell you!  Signed Cat Hugger

Dear Cat Hugger – You hugged him and still got time out?  The nerve of your human.  I mean look at the little guy – he is sticking his tongue out at you?  What about that?  Did your humans not see that?  You being all nice and him showing you the tongue.  I say this means war… of course don’t get caught again – snorts

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REMEMBER friends.  Dear Bacon can’t happen without YOU.  Please continue to send me your pictures and questions via email.

 

 

 

Five Statements – Truth Revealed

Welcome back my friends to the reveal of the five statements.  Which one did you guess was true?  Did you pick it right away or did it take some work in thinking about each one?  Just what kind of person is my mommy?  Let’s see if you got it right.

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Statement #01 – Mom got a sport letter and award in Track when she was in high school.   Winner-Winner.  Mommy actually was the assistant to the track coach in high school for two years and kept the scores for all meets.  This is how she gained her letter and award.  Snorts – you thought she ran didn’t you?  If mom ran, she says she would have two black eyes and two broken knees.  Now that is hilarious!  AND who was the first person to guess it correctly – my brother Easy.  He knows my mommy!

Statement #02 – Mommy loves Cabbage Patch Kids.  Really?  Mommy despised Cabbage Patch Kids.  If you are a true follower, you have read her story about the demise of her *cherished* Cabbage Patch Kid in a fierce game of Cowboys and Indians – snorts with piggy laughter.

Statement #03 – Mom graduated with a C average in high school.  C student – oh no.  Mommy was an honor graduate – straight A’s.  In fact, some would say she was a nerd!  The shock of that huh?

Statement #04 – Mom’s first pet she ever had was a snail named Igor.  This would have been cool but again no.  Mom’s first pet was a dog named Beast.

Statement #05 – Mom and dad met when mom was working her pole at her second job.  Now I had to throw this in there.  Of course it didn’t happen this way.  But once, mom/dad went to a book store when they were dating.  Mom wrote a check and the lady asked for her work number.  Daddy did tell the lady it was the Cheetah Club (which was a strip joint in Atlanta, Georgia).  The lady replied, “Yeah, right.  I don’t think anyone with Holly Hobby checks would be a stripper!”.  Now *that’s* funny.

 

Five Statements

Welcome my friends to another Five Statement posting.  I will tell you five statements.  You have to pick out the one that is correct – all the rest are lies. Are you ready?  Just to make things a little more difficult, all of these statements are about mom 🙂 Good luck and here we go:

Statement #01 – Mom got a sport letter and award in Track when she was in high school.

Statement #02 – Mommy loves Cabbage Patch Kids

Statement #03 – Mom graduated with a C average in high school.

Statement #04 – Mom’s first pet she ever had was a snail named Igor.

Statement #05 – Mom and dad met when mom was working her pole at her second job.

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So which statement is correct?  The answer will be revealed tomorrow 🙂  Happy guessing – think it out now my friends.

 

Awesome – More House Problems?

WOW friends – you’re not going to believe this.  I guess we are having problems with the roof again.  Mommy set up a pole in her bedroom.  I guess she thinks the roof will cave in or something. 

 

 

Dear Bacon

Dear Bacon,

Who says that the natural order of things in nature have to be that we don’t get along?  My name is Gull and this is my close pal Gator.  We’re like two peas in a pod.  We often play in the water like this.  Gator protects me from other things in the water and we have fun.  Can you believe that it actually blows peoples minds when they see us like this?  Signed Born to be Different

Dear Born to be Different,

Hey my friends.  I think that is absolutely wonderful to have that kind of friendship.  I’m sure the other animals in the water look at you like a two piece snack from KFC but as long Gator is there to protect you – awesomesauce!

.

Dear Bacon,

The humans.  They will pay for this get up.  I feel totally ridiculous.  The nerve to dress me up as some kind of twisted frog.  I think the look on my face tells you everything you need to know.  Do you have any ideas on how I can get the humans back?  Signed Feeling Froggy

Dear Feeling Froggy,

WOW!  Now that is some sort of predicament my friend.  I feel you 100%.  Your humans really did have some nerve in dressing you like a Kermit want to be.  I don’t know whether to laugh or cry with you on that get up.  As far as pay back – evil piggy snorts.  The humans they do have to sleep at some point.  I’m sure you can think of so many different ways to bring down the wrath of Froggy upon them.  Just act innocent in whatever you decide.

P.S.  Can I borrow that outfit for Halloween?  Maybe I can snatch Miss Piggy with it.

.
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Dear Bacon,
Talk about animal labor laws.  I often read about your life at the Hotel Thompson and how they make you ‘work for your food’ in a way.  Never complain again my friend.  My humans put me to work out in nature in concrete.  It’s a hard and tedious job… especially in this get up.  Help me please.  Signed Mason

Dear Mason,
Oh snap.  Your humans weren’t playing any games were they my friend?  Bless your little heart.  Not only did they dress you but you have to wear those indestructible contruction boots.  Shakes piggy head.  I’m so sorry pal.  I will *never* again complain about having to bring my dirty stuff to the laundry room.  Ever.

P.S.  Dad needs some help expanding the driveway.  When you get done with that project, can you help a human out?

.

Dear Bacon,
What?  Haven’t you ever seen a hamster with his lady working the pole?  Blonde is one of the best pole dancers out there.  I suggest this kind of get up for your bedroom pig.  You might get some girlfriends then.  HA!  Signed Boris

Dear Boris,

OMP (oh my pig!)  My eyes!  What has been seen can not be unseen.  We really don’t need to see this my friend.  Although daddy was interested in that pole action, me and mom are not – snorts.  Ya’ll carry on in the privacy of your bedroom.  And don’t worry about me and girlfriends.  I have one 🙂

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*Remember friends – keep your pictures and questions coming.  Send them to me at baconthompson@gmail.com