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Jokes from a Cow

Courtesy from Pinterest

 
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Posted by on July 16, 2017 in Bacon

 

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What Makes the World Go ‘Round?

Courtesy from Pinterest 

 
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Posted by on July 15, 2017 in Bacon

 

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There Goes the Neighborhood

Courtesy of Pinterest

 
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Posted by on June 4, 2017 in Bacon

 

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Party Time

Cartoon courtesy of Pinterest

 
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Posted by on June 3, 2017 in Bacon

 

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Lean Beef

Courtesy of Pinterest

 
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Posted by on May 28, 2017 in Bacon

 

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Elf on the Shelf Submissions – Voting Begins

Hello my friends.  As you know, I put together a contest for the adoption of a captured Elf on the Shelf that I have here at the Hotel Thompson.  My captured Elf is a distant relative of my Elf on the Shelf – Don Juan.  Although they are relatives, who knows how the captured Elf will act once he is released and gets his powers the day after Thanksgiving.

We thought here at the Hotel Thompson, we would have a contest to see who would like to have the captured Elf.  Your mission was to send me an email of why you should have him in your house.  I got several submissions and we thank you for them.  Today, I’m going to highlight the submissions we have received.

Submission 1 – Evil 

Submission 1 comes from my friend Evil Squirrel.  WOW.  That’s really a lot in that WOW.  He didn’t email a request.  Instead he did a blog about why they deserve the Elf at the Evil Squirrels Nest.  You can read all about it here.  Some of his favorite tenants on his shelf to include: Swing Squirrel, Rain Gauge Skunk, Buster Possum, Snuggle Bear and others you have to read to believe voiced their opinions about the Elf.

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Submission 2 – Sammy

Submission 2 comes from Sammy.  Get your Kleenexes my friends.  This is what Sammy and his mom sent:

“Dear Cousin, well I think you’ve come up with a pawsome contest and OF COURSE I have to enter – what self-respecting Cousin wouldn’t enter his Cousin’s contest anyway?  Huh???  HUH?????

 So, why should I win?  What can I do to make my very own Elf on the Shelf “at home” here with my folks and me?  Well, it’s simple really.   My Mom is pawsitive that elves do exist – for real.  They live in the woods and we can hear them talk about us when we go down into our woods for walks…….I get glimpses of them down there too.  We just know that we could give one of them (the one you’ve got trapped in a box right now) a good home INSIDE our house instead of outside with those other elves.  He could sit inside in the nice warm house (or cool house in summer) and make faces at the others who are jealous of him living in the lap of luxury (or shelf of luxury).
 
I’ve had a rough time lately with my thyroid mess so I’m going to play the “poor pitiful me” card here and say I deserve the elf because I’m old, tired, and taking medication that makes me sleep all the time – when I open my eyes up I’d like to see a happy little elf staring back at me.  Yep – that’s the truth of the matter…….I just think he’d make a fun friend for me in my retirement years.  Now get out your hanky and blow your snout – I know I’ve got you in tears right about now………….HAHAHAHAHAHA
 
Hugs, Sammy the Elderly.  Here’s the woods where the other elves live.  They spy on us all the time!  You can’t see them but they’re there!  Trust me on that!
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Submission 3 – Sue Brandes with Katsrus 
 
Can you say aaww – look closely at the box my friends.  This is what Sue says in her email:
“t gets pretty nosy when the lights go out here at night. I think my kitties are up to something they don’t want me to know about. When I get up to look everyone is always sleeping and acting all innocent. As soon as I lay back down I hear stomping and running around. I really need someone who could spy on them for me and tell what they are doing? Or is it something else and not the cats? I did catch this but; all I could see was a box. Can you see anything?”
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Submission 4 – Samuel and Wallace
 
Okay – My friends Wally and Samuel sent this heart tugging email you have to read.
“So even though WE are sending this submission we need you to know that it is actually for our mom…you see mom is a Christmas FREAK! She LOVES Christmas like no-one else in our family. Now living in South Africa means that we don’t really get to have the full Northern Hemisphere Christmas experience. For starters Christmas time is summer time here in South Africa so no white Christmas for us. Also, we don’t have Elf on a Shelf here in SA. In fact mom only learnt about Elf on a Shelf 2 years ago when she joined Pinterest and started coming across all these pins dedicated to little the guy and the mischief he gets up to. Now we can assure you that if you were to send us one of your Elves he would be the ONLY Elf on a Shelf to be getting up to mischief in the WHOLE of South Africa…let us repeat that…THE. WHOLE. OF. SOUTH. AFRICA. Put another way, WE NEED A SOUTH AFRICAN ELF ON A SHELF (pleeeeease).   Ok, so we’re gonna let you ponder our pitiful plea and we’re keeping our paws crossed that you and your readers will take pity on our mom and grant her this special Christmas wish…an Elf on a Shelf of her very own.  BIG licks your pals,  Wally & Sammy
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Submission 5 – The Pigs
 
Another heart tug in the right direction from my friends The Pigs (Dusty, Billy, Pip and Cocoa).  Here’s what they had to say in their emotional email:
“It wasn’t very long ago that whee began to muse on the thought of not only being a pet, but having one too. Whee piggies know very well how to BE pets but whee’ve never actually had the chance to look after a little chap or chap-ess of our very own. Of course our ‘one’ couldn’t be any old Tom, Dick or Harry. After putting our heads together whee decided that whee would need somebody very special to be our own.Then came the thought: what if it wasn’t a pet? What if it was a little terror that ran around and tried to eat all our veggies! For a while whee squabbled over this then Cocoa pointed out that whee share the hoomans veggies for don’t they eat carrots too – all chopped up and boiled though, yuck! So whee promptly decided that whee wouldn’t mind that either. There were many questions that whee had to discuss:

  • Would whee be able to afford it? (Luckily Mop has a wealth of Carrot Coins so whee’re safe there.)
  • Exercise? (Pip is a mad house. He really could use something, or someone, that can help him to work off all those beans with a walk each day, or perhaps a kick-a-bout of a football.)
  • What would our pet eat?
  • Where would it stay?
  • Would whee be good pet owners?

Each question whee slowly went through, making sure that whee would fully be able to provide for our little friend. In the end, whee decided that whee would be able to for whee have been shown lots of love and have had a good example with which to pass on.  Then was the biggest dilemma. Who would whee like to give a home too?  Whee searched website after website after website. Then whee came across a little elf. A little chubby cheeked elf with bright eyes and a funny little smile. Could he be the one?

In order to stand a chance of giving him a home whee need to explain to you, Bacon, why whee would be a good home to such a little chap.  Guinea-pigs, as a breed are very social animals. Out in the wild whee live in small groups and here, in captivity, whee like to have at least one cagemate though some places have many! Here there are only six of us. Whee have been thinking and have decided that whee would like to expand our group. Upon adopting this cheeky chap, if whee are chosen, whee promise to embrace him into our home. Our bed will be his bed. Our food, his food. Whee are ready to take on a little friend and, after many long months of preparation have finally, hopefully, made our decision. It was a hard choice to make, there were so many choices from fae to fairies and pixies but now whee really believe that this little elf is the one for us!

Now a little bit about our family. Whee range in age from five years to only 4 months old. This means whee have a range of different skills. Mop is retired from her job now but does enjoy going to the local Little Library where she reads books to all the pups, kittens and other baby animals that come there regularly. She also knits a range of different clothing and objects for a range of different reasons.

Dusty is an astronomer. He spends a lot of time gazing up at the stars. You might think that this would make him distant but it his income and Mop’s former income that has provided us with the means to look after our little boy, or girl.

Billy is a sportsman. He plays an attack position in the local rugby team, the Peel Pigeons. This has turned him into a very dedicated individual. Despite this he is very gentle, as was demonstrated when his young friend, Cupcake, gave birth to her children. He was very happy to babysit, showing how patient and caring he is. (Plus, he enjoys the games that children like to play – such as throwing a ball around!)

Pip is a children’s entertainer. He dresses up as clowns, knights, dragons, lions. This little ginger pig is perfect to help our elf, should we be allowed to have him, develop his imagination. Whee really do want to give him the best start in life. Nothing will be too good for our little boy!

Cupcake is a teacher at the local primary school which Cupcake now attends. She works there part-time as she is also a house wife and needs to be there for her young daughter, Cocoa.

Cocoa will be the friend to the little chap. Whee hope her and him will have a fantastic relationship!

So, here it is. Our petition to you. Whee hope that whee have answered all your questions and if a more suitable home is found for him, whee will continue our hunt for a pet. Our decision is made and we’ll make sure that some little chap or chap-ess, somewhere, will get a new start in our home.”

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**LET’S VOTE NOW**

You’ve read all of the submissions.  Now it’s time for *you* to judge and post your vote.  The winner will be announced at a later date.  Who do YOU think the captured Elf needs to go and live with for his adventures?  NOTE:  Voting will end midnight on Wednesday, September 10, 2014.  This gives everyone plenty of time to post their submissions on their blogs and encourage voting.  Good luck my friends – let the voting begin!

 

 
37 Comments

Posted by on September 4, 2014 in Bacon

 

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Bacon’s Show and Tell

Today we are highlighting a toy that you really loved as a child and absolutely could not live without – that you had hours and hours of entertainment.  

Today, I want to focus on mommy – the bookworm.  Yep, the bookworm.  As a child, she always had a book in her hand and was reading.  I think that is why it is so important for her to read me a bedtime story at night to this day.

When she was younger, she absolutely loved the Nancy Drew series.  OMP (oh my pig!)  Can you believe that we still have the original book series and the original lunch box here at the Hotel Thompson?  They are in one of her boxes marked childhood.  I’ll even tell you a secret.  Sometimes, she brings them out and reads them to this day.  I’ll be honest with you.  She might have even read some to this little piggy.  Awesome huh?

These are pictures of examples of the books and lunch box.  These were taken off Pinterest to show examples.

 

 

 
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Posted by on August 29, 2014 in Bacon, Bacon's Show and Tell

 

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