Pineapple and Daddy

As some of you know, I have a love/hate relationship with my daddy.  I mean he loves me and I love him but it’s nothing like the love me and mom share.  Can you relate?  We tolerate – yeah that’s a good word – tolerate each other.  He takes care of me during the day and I like to think I take care of him during the day too.

Well, this weekend we were outside playing around.  I was down in the yard of the magical back yard and he was with me with mommy up on the deck.  Just for a moment, deviled ham came out in me.

  I tried to hide him back inside of me… you know sweet bacon.  But, it just wasn’t going to happen.  Sigh – deviled ham came out full force.  I looked at daddy and all I could see was a target.  I know I shouldn’t but it happened.  I stomped my hooves, ran around the magical back yard and at full force slammed into daddy who was kneeling over weeding.  For a big ex football player, he fell hard with a good thump.  Maybe that’s because he wasn’t expecting me… you think?  Then that old meanie deviled ham did something terrible.  He grabbed daddy’s pant legs and started pulling.  I thought for a minute deviled ham was going to pull off daddy’s pants in the backyard.

But then, daddy did the strangest thing.  He said really loud, “Safe word is pineapple – PINEAPPLE”.  He kept repeating pineapple.  Shakes piggy head.  Can you believe that?  Even when deviled ham is trying to play, daddy still thinks of food.  And mom says my mind is a one track way with food.  Snorts.

With daddy screaming pineapple and deviled ham snorting, this got mom’s attention on the deck.  Mom said those words that everyone hates to hear.  The full name – shivers.  She yelled out, “Bacon Porkchop Thompson, you get up here NOW”.  Oh snap.  That’s right – deviled ham snapped right out of my inner body and sweet bacon came out pronto.  I stopped, put my tail between my legs and slowly stomped up the board to the deck.  Man, I was in trouble.  The full name followed by NOW.

I got up on the deck and mom fussed at me.  I mean really fussed.  What was I thinking?  I can’t play rough like that, etc.  I tried to tell her it was deviled ham.  She didn’t have any of it.  She sent me to my bedroom… you know pay the time for the crime.  Shucks… it was all in good fun.

But, I went to my room.  I hope mommy fed daddy some pineapple.  He seemed like he really wanted some.  And don’t worry, dad wasn’t hurt.  He thought it was kind of fun too.  We made apologies later in the day and all is good now.

But you see, that deviled ham is evil.  Do you have a deviled ham?

 

Wonder Woman What?!

There I was this morning looking at the news on my i-Pad.  You know minding my own piggy business in a world all to myself.  That’s when a friend of mine on Facebook showed on her page a picture of some wondrous food.  I mean BIG time knock you on your piggy tail awesome food.  I’m talking my daddy would absolutely LOSE his mind with this hamburger – see below.  Was I joking?

So, I did what any decent pigson would do.  I finished reading the article and then tapped down the hall to dad’s room.  Of course I would say run but then we would all know I was lying.  This pig doesn’t run.  It’s bad on my knees.  Oh my bad – I don’t have knees – snorts with piggy laughter.  Trust me, once dad saw the article he quickly forgave me for the slight hoof mark I left on his ankle – only slight.

This monster of a burger is courtesy of a restaurant in Tampa, Florida called Datz and is called the Amazon Warrior Burger.  It was created for the new movie Wonder Woman that is now currently showing in theatres.   It was only available for one day – bummer.  It would have been an awesome trip.  So what makes this burger warrior material?  You tell me – here are the ingredients:

The bun is sourdough and decorated with white cheddar and American cheese starts.  The bun has also been dyed red, gold and blue.  There are two beef patties broked up – wait for it – by a slice of pineapple!

So, what do you think my friends.  Are you game for a warrior burger?  Licks my piggy lips now.

 

Dear Forrest – SPECIAL EDITION

 Hello my friends.  Welcome to another great issue of Dear Bacon.  This week, we have another guest helping me out with my issue.  Today, my friend Forrest and Fozziemom are stepping in for me to do a special edition of Dear Forrest.  Be sure to visit them at their blog and check them out – let them know what a great job they did – thanks Forrest and Fozziemom!

.

Dear Forrest,
Save a horse, ride a piggy – BOL. This is my gal pal Susie. The other farm animals think we are crazy. We are. Crazy in love! Do you think it’s cool? Signed Sam and Susie

Dear Sam and Susie,
I think the other farm animals are jealous…inter species can work…even if it does seem a bit odd. You loves who you loves so I say go for it! And yes it is way cool!

.

Dear Forrest,
Since they added the word “selfie” to the dictionary, we thought we would try it. We think it’s a work in progress. Have you tried this? Signed Say Cheese

Dear Cheese,
I must say I have tried selfies myself and it always ends up with booger shots..or drool. I think you have the crazy eye down pat though. Keep it up.   I have seen some pretty bad human ones BOL BOL

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Dear Forrest,
They say you can be anything you want. I wanted to be a pineapple. What kind of fruit would you be? Signed Piney

Dear Piney,
Well if you want to look like Camen Miranda then I say I like it veryyyy much.  As for me, if I had to be a fruit I would be a banana.  Then I could split whenever it got too much BOL BOL

.

Dear Forrest,
Dude. The beach is so totally awesome. The water is rad. Do you hang five bro? Signed Surfer Bark

Dear Surfer Bark,
Man you are hangin’ more than five my friend.  You might take off if them ears get any more steam behind them BOL.  I hang 5 in the dam. It’s usually followed by mum landing flat BOL …wonder what that counts as BOL

.

Dear Forrest,
I look fat. Maybe it’s my ears? Maybe it’s that bunny tail? Maybe it’s the beer talking from another bottle down? Can you help out a bunny? What do you think? Signed Fatbun

Dear Fatbun,
I think you are standing in front of the wrong mirror my friend. You look fine to me..nice and plump and round and delish…oops I mean fine. Sorry, I get side tracked by bunnies. I think if you were here at my place I could help you exercise..do you like to run? BOL

.

Thanks to Fozziemom and Forrest for another great issue.  Remember my friends, these Dear Bacon issues can’t happen without you 🙂  Remember to send your pictures and questions to me at baconthompson@gmail.com

 

Pineapple and Daddy

As some of you know, I have a love/hate relationship with my daddy.  I mean he loves me and I love him but it’s nothing like the love me and mom share.  Can you relate?  We tolerate – yeah that’s a good word – tolerate each other.  He takes care of me during the day and I like to think I take care of him during the day too.

Well, this weekend we were outside playing around.  I was down in the yard of the magical back yard and he was with me with mommy up on the deck.  Just for a moment, deviled ham came out in me.

  I tried to hide him back inside of me… you know sweet bacon.  But, it just wasn’t going to happen.  Sigh – deviled ham came out full force.  I looked at daddy and all I could see was a target.  I know I shouldn’t but it happened.  I stomped my hooves, ran around the magical back yard and at full force slammed into daddy who was kneeling over weeding.  For a big ex football player, he fell hard with a good thump.  Maybe that’s because he wasn’t expecting me… you think?  Then that old meanie deviled ham did something terrible.  He grabbed daddy’s pant legs and started pulling.  I thought for a minute deviled ham was going to pull off daddy’s pants in the backyard.

But then, daddy did the strangest thing.  He said really loud, “Safe word is pineapple – PINEAPPLE”.  He kept repeating pineapple.  Shakes piggy head.  Can you believe that?  Even when deviled ham is trying to play, daddy still thinks of food.  And mom says my mind is a one track way with food.  Snorts.

With daddy screaming pineapple and deviled ham snorting, this got mom’s attention on the deck.  Mom said those words that everyone hates to hear.  The full name – shivers.  She yelled out, “Bacon Porkchop Thompson, you get up here NOW”.  Oh snap.  That’s right – deviled ham snapped right out of my inner body and sweet bacon came out pronto.  I stopped, put my tail between my legs and slowly stomped up the board to the deck.  Man, I was in trouble.  The full name followed by NOW.

I got up on the deck and mom fussed at me.  I mean really fussed.  What was I thinking?  I can’t play rough like that, etc.  I tried to tell her it was deviled ham.  She didn’t have any of it.  She sent me to my bedroom… you know pay the time for the crime.  Shucks… it was all in good fun.

But, I went to my room.  I hope mommy fed daddy some pineapple.  He seemed like he really wanted some.  And don’t worry, dad wasn’t hurt.  He thought it was kind of fun too.  We made apologies later in the day and all is good now.

But you see, that deviled ham is evil.  Do you have a deviled ham?