Turkey Pick Up Lines

 

Dear Bacon

Dear Bacon,

Lots of times when the humans go to work, I just have a lazy day.  I will go out back, climb into the little fabric thingy and take a siesta.  It’s actually very comfortable.  Have you ever tried this?  Signed, Sleepy Pooch

Dear Sleepy Pooch,

It actually does look most comfortable.  I’ve never seen one in real life – just on the net and television commercials.  You can’t really hang one in the house cause you know I’m anti-nature boy right now.  I’m working on that though in therapy.  I’ll keep you posted about my future endeavors with that fabric thingy.

 

 

Dear Bacon,

There is *nothing* like hanging in the bed of a pick up truck, going fast and feeling the wind pass your face giving you this special look.  When dad says, “Let’s go for a ride”, I’m there in the back of the truck before he can unlock it and buckle in.  You’ve gotta get over this nature anxiety and try this.  It’s a hoot!  It’s kind of like the amusement park Six Flags for dogs 🙂  Signed, Wind in my Face

Dear Wind in my Face,

Well my friend, that is quite the look you have there.  I kind of like it.  It does look refreshing and I have to admit that it does kind of look fun.  I’m all for a little excitement in life.  Maybe once I’m done with my therapy, I’ll give it a shot!

 

 

Dear Bacon,

Don’t judge.  It’s hard work to maintain this alluring and sexy look.  You should know all about hard work in maintaining your excellent physique.  Signed Curlers

Dear Curlers,

No judgement here my friend.  You look kind of cute with those pink things in your hair. 

 

 

Dear Bacon,

Last night, we took your advice and watched one of your paranormal ghost shows that you talk about at times.  Oh dear Lord – those things are scary!  I was trying to cover my buddies eyes so he wouldn’t see the worst parts.  I don’t know how we made it through the entire show.  Of course, afterwards we had to sleep with the lights on.  How do you watch these things little pig??  Signed Scaredy Clan

Dear Scaredy Clan,

You poor things.  I usually watch them with my mom.  Did you two watch them all by yourselves?  Bless your little hearts.  You *have* to watch them with the humans.  That way they shield you from all of the scarey moments.

 

 

Dear Bacon,

My friends are really mean squirrels. We all decided to play hide and go seek in the neighborhood.  I jumped up, closed my eyes and began to count nuts to 20 thinking that everyone would be hiding.  What I didn’t know was that instead of hiding, they all surrounded me and watched me counting nuts.  One of them actually took this picture and has spread it all over the internet – the nerve!  What’s a little guy to do my friend?  Signed Cheated

Dear Cheated,

One word – Retaliation.  I can hook you up with two of the finest – Journalist Rocky the Squirrel and Evil Squirrel here on WordPress.  They can help you come up with the best way to get back at those tricky little friends of yours.  Hey – it’s all fun and games, right?