Dear Bacon

Dear Bacon – One good thing about having small humans around the house, they have the neatest toys.  Take for instance this cute little rocking chair.  Of course, the little human has it for her so called dolls but I fit perfect in it.  And you know what they say, “If it fits, you must sits”.  Barks!  Do you sit in chairs?  Signed Rocker Doggy

Dear Rocker Doggy – That is totally cute pal.  I have been known to sit in chairs.  And don’t let humans fool you.  Us piggies we can climb.  I once climbed the kitchen chair to get in the seat.  Of course, I had an extra motive to do so.  There was a bag of kitty chow in it and I wanted some food – snorts.  So yeah little buddy, I have sat in a chair but I looked nothing as adorable as you!

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Dear Bacon – There is *always* that one friend of yours that does not know the word boundaries.  Here I was acting all cute and the master was going to take my picture.  It’s not bad enough that darn pooch photo bombed me but he has to hug me and lick me… eeww doggie cooties at its finest.  Now I’m infected with dog gross.  This is going to require many, MANY hours of grooming.  Please make him stop and go away.  Hey, I got an idea.  Can I mail him to you?  You already have a semi-zoo going on there at the Hotel Thompson.  They wouldn’t notice one more, would they?  Signed Kitty Cooties

Dear Kitty Cooties – Oh dear piggy heavens.  That is one hilarious picture.  Just remember my friend, I’m not laughing AT you.  Not at all.  I’m laughing at the situation.  It seems to me that you got a great pal there with that doggy.  Have you thought about that?  I bet he is so protective of you that it isn’t funny.  Just think that this could be productive and come in handy in the future of anyone picking on you.  He could lick them and infect them with cute cooties.  And hey, the zoo is now full here.  Daddy has said so.  There are more anipals than humans and we rule the roost… we just let daddy think that he does – snorts and good luck!

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Dear Bacon –  It is gotten bad that a bun-bun has to do their own shopping now out in the neighborhood.  That’s okay though.  I take my little buggy and I hit the nearest garden for my collecting of tasty carrots.  They are so delicious!  I get enough to fill the buggy, go back home and hide them in my cage.  Hey – it’s what I do.  Do you like carrots too?  Signed Shopping Bun

Dear Shopping Bun – Do I like carrots?  That’s like saying, “Do you like to breathe?”  I absolutely ❤ carrots.  They are one of my favorite veggies in the entire world.  I snack on them throughout the day – small ones, big ones, orange ones, yellow ones – all of them are tasty to me.  And hey, if you are shopping on your own in the neighborhood gardens, just think of the other tasty morsels you can find too.  If you come across watermelon, let me know.  That’s my number 2 favorite food 🙂  Happy shopping!

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Dear Bacon – Say it with me now when I hit the key, “mmmm”.  I’m practicing the Meow Mix song so I can be in the next commercial.  Do you think I have a chance?  Signed Kitty Tune

Dear Kitty Tune – I say go for it my friend.  What do you have to lose?  I say if that doesn’t work out for you, try America’s Got Talent or American Idol.  And if they don’t work out remember this.  YOU are always a winner in my book.  Look at you tickling those ivories.  You go play my friend and have a blast doing it.

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FRIENDS – Please remember that Dear Bacon can’t happen without YOU.  Please email me your pictures and letters 🙂

 

Oh No – What Do You Think?

I was looking through the pictures on my mom’s iPhone last night and came across the picture of me.  OMP (oh my pig!)  You can really see my pot-belly in this picture.  Do you think it makes me look heavy?  Does it make my butt look big?

For some reason, I keep staring at this picture.  It’s driving me crazy.  Maybe it’s the angle from which mom took the snapshot?  Heck, I don’t even remember her taking the picture.  Maybe I’m losing my piggy mind?  I remember walking around the front room oinking and talking to myself… you looking for anything that might be eatable on the floor – which I didn’t find anything.

Oh dear, do you think I need to go on this DIEt thing?  Snorts!

 

I Can Spell Daddy

  Poor daddy.  Maybe he needs some lessons in spelling – snorts.  I’m not sure but as usual I’m getting ahead of myself.  Let me back up just a bit my friends.

This past weekend, my mom and dad went out unchaperoned again.  Sigh – you know this means trouble somehow someway – snorts.  It was early in the morning and when they came back they were groaning about being full.  Mom said she ate too much and dad was heading for the Mylanta.  Glutinous I’m telling you.  I mean *I* would never overeat… double snorts.  I don’t know where they get that from.

Later in the day, daddy was talking to mommy and he started spelling.  At first, I was like that’s great daddy.  You are really coming along with those big words.  Then I realized what he was spelling and I was like wait a minute.  He kept at it though, talking to mommy and spelling B-A-C-O-N.  Why was he spelling my name?

It didn’t make sense to me to spell out my name, rub their bellies and talk about how good it was.  This piggy was terribly confused during the conversation.  And then dad asked mommy if she took the picture and she said yes.  So then I just knew there had to be a picture of something on mom’s cell phone.  Then mommy mentioned my cousin Sammy  and how he has B-A-C-O-N every Saturday.  With this, I just *knew* something was up.

I mean Sammy eats bacon every Saturday and then it dawned on me.  They were eating P.I.G.  Gulp – that’s why daddy was spelling.  This can’t be good.  I mean daddy was like overjoyed about how something tasted so wonderful that morning.  What in the heck could it be coming from a P.I.G. that tasted good?  I couldn’t imagine… cause you know Hemi has bitten me before and then spit because I didn’t taste good.  So this little oinker had a mission to get ahold of mom’s cell phone when she wasn’t looking.

After she went to take a nap, I pignapped that cell phone and started reviewing pictures.  OMP (oh my pig!)  My eyes!  What has been seen can not be unseen now.  The horror of seeing this B-A-C-O-N that dad kept spelling out.  Not only was it pig but it was FRIED.  Thud – piggy down.  We are in the south and I know we fry everything but really people – bacon?!  I don’t know if I should be afraid for my life now here at the Hotel Thompson or slightly intrigued as to the taste – shivers.  Help me out friends.  Here is the evidence.

 

Piggy Down

Sometimes a pig just has to do what a pig has to do – land and take a little siesta. This little pig was running around so much playing… and getting into things as mommy added… that I got totally piggy exhausted. I think mommy said I slept a good solid hour. I was sleeping so hard at one time that she said she got on the floor with me to check my breathing. I was fine. I was just tired.

I kind of like the angle that mom used to take this picture too. It doesn’t show all of my great fat rolls and actually makes me look like a skinny piggy. Yep, I think I might use this picture for our Christmas cards here this year at the Hotel Thompson. Way to go mom.

And I know you are just wondering what kind of trouble I got into, right? Well, you know us pigs. We are really intellectual and learn things really fast. While mommy was cleaning up my bedroom, I learned how to open up the piggy gate that separates the front room and the kitchen. 🙂 two points for this oinker. I was able to roam freely into the kitchen, go up to the big ice box that keeps the food and open the freezer which is on the bottom. I was stumped after that though. All the food was frozen! What’s up with that? Why can’t mommy have the freezer on top and the good food on the bottom where “I” can get it? Then, I could fix my own snacks. Wouldn’t that be great? Darn – mom didn’t go for it either.