Dear Bacon

 

Dear Bacon – We heard about your mission in life on becoming a Super Hero and wanting a cape.  I think me and my brother will start a petition for you.  With enough signatures, I think we can get your mom to get you at least dressed for the occasion.  Super hero powers are something that you are born with.  We’ve read enough of your blog to know that with enough thrust, you can fly.  So, you’re half way there our friend.  Signed Batdog and Robin

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Dear Batdog and Robin – Thanks my friends!  Ya’ll look totally awesome in your outfits.  I am so working on mom for my cape.  I could use all of the help I can get!

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Dear Bacon – Don’t believe everything you read.  Having a cape isn’t always the best thing in the world.  My humans make me wear this cape and then make me sit in the corner.  Why?  Ask me why piggy?  Because I got so excited with my cape that I might have tinkled on the carpet.  What did they expect?  So, they sat me in the corner with my cape on for time out.  How embarrassing!  Take it from me little guy.  Don’t whizzle with excitement.  Signed Super Tinkle

Dear Super Tinkle – I’m so sorry my friend.  That look on your face says everything.  At least they could have removed your cape before putting you in time out.  What super hero gets put in time out?  Having a cape is exciting.  I really can’t tell how I will act.  But, thanks for the heads up to contain myself – whizzle and all.

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Dear Bacon – Be very specific in what you ask for in a cape.  I too always wanted one.  I just should have been a little more specific in the details.  You know like, nothing over my head.  Save that material to cover my goodies.  I mean really.  What super hero is out there with his goodies showing?  I feel like a pervedog.  Help.  Signed Spider Perve

Dear Spider Perve – WOW – thank you so much my little friend.  I really never thought about specifics in my cape.  You are so right.  I really need to be detailed on what I want in a cape.  Okay – nothing on the piggy head but covering the bottom half – got it.  Yeah, you are so right my friend!

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Dear Bacon – Okay, I like turtles and I play with them in my back yard.  Yes, I wanted to be a Super Hero.  Where in the world did I go wrong with my parents?  Why would they dress me like a TMNT (Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle) and think that was what I wanted in my Super Hero outfit?  Really?  Learn from me pal, have an open conversation with your humans.  Signed Turtle Dog

Dear Turtle Dog – Does it help that you look cute and adorable?  Okay, maybe that doesn’t help but you do.  Personally, I wouldn’t go for the mask but at least your goodies are covered – snorts.  And hey, the shell on your back could be a good thing.  Just think if you fall, you have the comfort of some padding.  I do appreciate the heads up my friend.

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Dear Bacon –  Just remember, Super Hero’s come in all shapes and sizes – not just dogs and cats.  We can ALL be a Super Hero in some fashion.  My humans got it right in my cape.  It actually gives me just a tad bit of room to grow in.  It’s so roomy that I can move.  That’s important when you are doing your ninja kicks.  I hope you get your cape soon my friend.  Fly with Confidence!  Signed Super Piggy

Dear Super Piggy – Thanks my friend.  You are so full of confidence and that really inspires me.  It reminds me of an old saying that my mommy says all of the time, “Bloom where you are planted.”  I guess that could mean us anipals as well, huh?  Keep up the great work my little Super Hero.  Hope to see you flying in the skies soon.

 

Dear Bacon

Dear Bacon – Busted!  But I tell you, I was set up.  Really I was.  You see, I saw the two legged kid in the house outside the other day making what he called mud pies.  I thought why couldn’t I make one?  They look delicious.  And trust me that kid was covered but no he didn’t get into trouble.  I get out there and start making pies and the entire world is coming to an end.  What do you think of that?  Signed Pie Maker

Dear Pie Maker – Personally, I don’t think that is the kind of pies that you eat.  Perhaps you can roll around in it to be cool – my kind has been doing that for years.  But to eat – shakes piggy head no.

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  Dear Bacon – The humans left the house – check.  Got my bath in – check.  Got my robe on – check.  Got my snacks – check.  Got the remote – check.  There I was preparing to watch my show on television, America’s Top Bitches, then it happened. The humans came back home early.  What the cream cheese?!  What did they expect I was going to do while they were out – lay on the floor and take a nap?  Signed Comfy

Dear Comfy – I’m with you on that one my friend.  If my humans came home during my show, they would just have to pull up, sit down and shut up until the show was done.  I mean we are talking priorities here.

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Dear Bacon – Help!?  My humans they watch Star Wars way too much.  This is how they are dressing me up for Halloween.  Lord help me.  One of my humans will be Darth Vader and the other Luke Skywalker.  Then there’s me in the middle.  The nerve of them to make me go out in this attire!  Signed Princess Leia

Dear Princess Leia – I got a couple of things to say my dear.  First – hubba hubba.  I love that outfit on you – you are gorgeous.  I’m sure the real Princess Leia is full of envy with the way you wear that hair.  Second up – you have to admit that the costumes will be original and that’s awesome.  Just think you will stand out among your peers.  Everyone will want to be you.  And you know for doing this, you will probably get extra treats.  I say wear it with style and look on the bright side you gorgeous babe!

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  Dear Bacon – This is how we greet our human when he comes home from work.  This just shows to him what we think of him as royalty by being his welcome committee.  What do you think?  Signed Two Statues

Dear Two Statues – It’s okay my friends.  You can tell me.  You really stay there when he comes home to remind him of the royalty YOU are and that it is feeding time.  It will be our little secret and we won’t tell.  Zip – not a word.  I wish our stairs could support me on them… what am I talking about?  We don’t have stairs – snorts!

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Dear Bacon – This photobomb thing has gone too far.  Every time I try to take a picture to post on my Pet Harmony account, this dog jumps in either behind, beside or in front.  What am I to do?  Signed Looking for Love

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Dear Looking for Love – Shaking piggy head.  You know my friend, brothers/sisters can be a pain in the rump in the house.  Might I suggest you to post HIS picture on Pet Harmony.  If he had a friend, he would surely leave you alone.  That would give you more time to find you a mate.

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Remember my dear friends that Dear Bacon can’t happen without YOU.  Please keep sending your pictures and letters to my email address.  

 

Dear Bacon

Dear Bacon – Listen fellow swine.  How do you get it made so easily?  I live outside.  I don’t get my own room in the house.  Heck, the closest I get to the house is what they call a dog house.  I don’t get air conditioning or room service…let alone turn down service at night with bedtime stories.  Tell me pig – tell me how you got all that.  Signed Bushwhacked

Dear Bushwhacked – I’m sorry little dude.  My adopted parents didn’t have children and wanted a baby to nurture.  They picked me.  It was the best choice they could have made.  Some of us just get lucky that way.  You have nice things too.  You get to run and play outside and roll in the mud.  It’s not all luxury at Hotel Thompson.  I have to take weekly baths – can you imagine?!  I also have to live with 2 cats.  You think I got it made – those things think they rule the roost here.  I have to keep them in line.  Hang in there dude.  The grass is not always greener on the other side of the railroad tracks.

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Dear Bacon – Welcome to the wild side.  I’m a wild crab.  I like to party.  I like to boogey.  What say you come to the beach and let your wild side down for a change.  Signed Crabby Cakes.

Dear Crabby Cakes – Uumm, no.  You really shouldn’t smoke dude.  It stunts your growth.  Look at yourself in the mirror.  Thanks for the offer though.  I respect your lifestyle.  I’m just not a party pig.

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Dear Bacon – I hear you talking about your two purr brothers all of the time.  I would love to meet them.  They could take Catarate with me.  This is one of my moves that won me a medal at the CatOlympics.  I could probably even teach you a couple of new tricks.  Signed Catarate the Puss

Dear Catarate the Puss – Never underestimate my two purr brothers, especially Hemi.  I think they would definitely enjoy your classes.  I just don’t think *I’m* ready for the outcome of those classes… if you know what I mean.  Congratulations on your medal at the CatOlympics.  Keep up the hard work.  By the way, I’m digging your outfit.

 

❤ Snorts with piggy laughter ❤

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Dear Bacon – I’m a heavy metal squirrel rocker.  Down to my squirrel collar and earring.  I’m bad to the bone.  When I’m in the neighborhood hunting nuts, people just hand them over to me.  That’s how bad I am.  Maybe we can come up with a look for you little man.  What do you think – punk pig?  Signed Punk Squirrel

Dear Punk Squirrel – Okay, I’ve seen it all now.  I do appreciate your Mohawk.  I sport one myself from time to time.  As for the ear ring – I leave those to mom.  The squirrel collar, I don’t care for.  I don’t like anything around my neck.  My mom learned that a long time ago.  The look is cute though.  You can lose the cigarette and still look punking.  Why burn down your home in the tree with all of that smoke?  Rock on!

 

 

Dear Bacon

Dear Bacon – We love to battle. We were made to battle. We’re actually pets too and not food. People don’t look at us as cute but we actually do have a sense of humor. We may not be cuddle buddies but people do look at us with this wondrous look on their face. Signed Lobster Buds

Dear Lobster Buds – I hate to be the piggy of bad news. That wondrous look is probably people salivating at the thought of you in their belly. I know I had my moment. People have a lot if different pets. Perhaps a bit of advice? Drop the utensils in battle. You’re just giving people ideas… Like you come with eating utensils.

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Dear Bacon – I was watching a nature show at the zoo. What? Of course bears watch television. Anyway, it was about frogs. I’m fascinated on everything about them. I especially like the way they sit. I think it’s awesome. I also think I have perfected it. What do you think? Signed Crouching Frog Bear

Dear Crouching Frog Bear – Perhaps you need to change that channel to Dr Phil, Dr Oz or some other doctor show. You’re a bear. Bears are suppose to be … well bears not frogs. If you want to play frog, do it after the zoo closes. While the zoo is open, let your inner bear shine.

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Dear Bacon – Me and my friend Bird have a wonderful game that we play. He comes down from the majestic sky, we grab on to each other and then I kitty dive. It’s a blast! We have so much fun. Next time you’re in town, come fly with us. Signed Flying Puss

Dear Flying Puss – Hey if this is your favorite pastime and you two trust each other, go for it. As far as flying pig, I’ll pass. There are downfalls to me flying. One thing, I weigh a lot more. Another thing, I think others world look at me as food. 🙂 happy flying.

 

 

Dear Bacon

Dear Bacon,
They say that we can all stand on our heads. I don’t know. I think I may be vertically challenged or maybe my head is not flat enough. I just can’t seem to be able to do it all the way with my back legs straight up. It throws me off balance. Can you do it? Signed Not Happening

Dear Not Happening,
Never dear friend. Sometimes we are just not built to do these weird things that you see the humans partake. I can’t stand on my head. This pot belly of mine knocks me off center every time. And my mom, even though she’s human, she can’t do it either. Don’t try to be like everyone else. Make your own path and be happy – leave the sitting to your bottom.

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Dear Bacon,
There’s always that one idiot that has to pop in your picture. Can you relate? I was minding my own business in this shot. I just wanted it to look halfway decent to post on my Pet Harmony dating profile. Signed Available

Dear Available,
Yep. I know exactly what you are talking about. Hemi, the purr thing here at the Hotel Thompson, thinks he should be in every camera shot. He is always photo bombing my pictures. Just keep smiling. Pay back can really be tortuous for our sidekicks. Right? Maybe sign up your friend as well on Pet Harmony and post his picture – of course with your picture cropped out. Snort giggles.

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Dear Bacon,
It’s a wonderful thing to have such great friends. Out in the pasture, sometimes I just get tuckered out. That’s my good buddy will help me out and let me take a nap. Isn’t that nice of him? Signed Sleepy on the Road

Dear Sleepy on the Road,
That is an excellent friend. I can’t say that I’ve ever seen that kind of friendship before. You are most definitely one lucky little guy!

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Dear Bacon,
I think I need some anti wrinkle cream. Every time I wake up, I have more wrinkles! Soon, you’ll just see one giant sloppy dog. What can a pooch do? Please help. Signed Wrinkles

Dear Wrinkles,
As Lady Gaga once said, “Just put your paws up, Cause you were born this way, baby”. Embrace the way you are and don’t try to fight it my friend. Be happy in your own wrinkles.

 

Dear Bacon

Dear Bacon – Busted!  But I tell you, I was set up.  Really I was.  You see, I saw the two legged kid in the house outside the other day making what he called mud pies.  I thought why couldn’t I make one?  They look delicious.  And trust me that kid was covered but no he didn’t get into trouble.  I get out there and start making pies and the entire world is coming to an end.  What do you think of that?  Signed Pie Maker

Dear Pie Maker – Personally, I don’t think that is the kind of pies that you eat.  Perhaps you can roll around in it to be cool – my kind has been doing that for years.  But to eat – shakes piggy head no.

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  Dear Bacon – The humans left the house – check.  Got my bath in – check.  Got my robe on – check.  Got my snacks – check.  Got the remote – check.  There I was preparing to watch my show on television, America’s Top Bitches, then it happened. The humans came back home early.  What the cream cheese?!  What did they expect I was going to do while they were out – lay on the floor and take a nap?  Signed Comfy

Dear Comfy – I’m with you on that one my friend.  If my humans came home during my show, they would just have to pull up, sit down and shut up until the show was done.  I mean we are talking priorities here.

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Dear Bacon – Help!?  My humans they watch Star Wars way too much.  This is how they are dressing me up for Halloween.  Lord help me.  One of my humans will be Darth Vader and the other Luke Skywalker.  Then there’s me in the middle.  The nerve of them to make me go out in this attire!  Signed Princess Leia

Dear Princess Leia – I got a couple of things to say my dear.  First – hubba hubba.  I love that outfit on you – you are gorgeous.  I’m sure the real Princess Leia is full of envy with the way you wear that hair.  Second up – you have to admit that the costumes will be original and that’s awesome.  Just think you will stand out among your peers.  Everyone will want to be you.  And you know for doing this, you will probably get extra treats.  I say wear it with style and look on the bright side you gorgeous babe!

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  Dear Bacon – This is how we greet our human when he comes home from work.  This just shows to him what we think of him as royalty by being his welcome committee.  What do you think?  Signed Two Statues

Dear Two Statues – It’s okay my friends.  You can tell me.  You really stay there when he comes home to remind him of the royalty YOU are and that it is feeding time.  It will be our little secret and we won’t tell.  Zip – not a word.  I wish our stairs could support me on them… what am I talking about?  We don’t have stairs – snorts!

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Dear Bacon – This photobomb thing has gone too far.  Every time I try to take a picture to post on my Pet Harmony account, this dog jumps in either behind, beside or in front.  What am I to do?  Signed Looking for Love

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Dear Looking for Love – Shaking piggy head.  You know my friend, brothers/sisters can be a pain in the rump in the house.  Might I suggest you to post HIS picture on Pet Harmony.  If he had a friend, he would surely leave you alone.  That would give you more time to find you a mate.

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Remember my dear friends that Dear Bacon can’t happen without YOU.  Please keep sending your pictures and letters to my email address.  

 

Do You Ever Get that Feeling?

 You know the feeling I’m talking about.  The feeling that someone is always watching your every move over your shoulder.  You can’t quite put your hoof on it but you know they are out there.  Watching and waiting.  Mommy gets the feeling a lot too – kind of like a dejavu.

Mom was typing away writing, paying the bills – you know the normal stuff in the humans lives.  She looked up to see what was on the television.  Just in that one moment, she had that feeling like someone was looking over her shoulder.  Someone was trying to spy on what she was doing with the computer.  It wasn’t me.  I was cuddled up on her legs. I looked up though and saw.

I saw the culprit that was stalking mommy and what she was doing.  Those purr things.  I’m telling you my friends.  You just can’t trust them here at the Hotel Thompson.  Hemi has mom’s bank account number now.  He’s probably on line as you are reading this blog shopping on line and making connections to Pet-Harmony.  I just know it!