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Dear Bacon

Dear Bacon –  There I was swimming around in my home.  You know, minding my own business and keeping to myself.  That’s when I saw this shark bait hanging out in a flimsy cage.  Ha – as if those cages are shark proof.  Shaking my head.  When will the humans learn, right?  Anyway, I was swimming and I saw this human with a camera thing taking pictures of my home.  Then the human did the weirdest thing.  He took one of those selfies that are all the rage over the internet.  Well, you know I thought I would help him out and swam up behind him at just the right moment.  By the looks of his eyes, I think it surprised him.  In fact, I’m pretty sure it did.  The water got cold in our area for a few minutes – ha!  Signed Sharky

Dear Sharky – Oh.my.piggy.heavens!   Dude, I would pee all over myself if you did that to me too!  In fact, that’s where us anipals are smarter than the humans.  There is no way we would put ourselves in these situations.  Shaking my head.  Nope, not at all.  That is one selfie he will not forget anytime soon for sure!


Dear Bacon – My master thinks this is a joke.  There is no joke here.  Just wait until he falls asleep which he has to do at some point.  Just wait.  What?  You aren’t laughing at me too.  Are you?  Putting a peach in front of me and saying there is more fuzz on said peach than my body is a cruel joke.  Just wait until a position that peach near his person.  Will see if his girlfriend thinks it is a joke.  Signed Evil Kitty

Dear Evil Kitty – WOW.  You don’t play do you my friend?  My dad says that this is called Game On and the master gets what he gets for doing something like this to you.  I would love to see his face… and his girlfriend… when you peach him back.  Talk about impeachment.  Snorts with piggy laughter.


Dear Bacon – See my friend sometimes one has to take help when it’s needed.  My girlfriend called and said she was home alone.  Rather than run the 3 miles to her house, I caught a ride in the back of a sweet dumpster truck.  They never saw me and never knew they had a hitchhiker.  Just remember fellow anipals, take help where you need it!  Signed Hitchhiker to the Galaxy

Dear Hitchhiker to the Galaxy – SWEET my friend.  What a brilliant idea to come up with in a time of need.  Of course that would be awesome to hitch a ride to get to your girlfriends house.  Hope you got there quickly!  Take care my friend and remember next time to buckle up!


Dear Bacon – I have made a grand mistake.  Darn this birdseed!  There I was looking at the pretty seed and it was calling my name, “Squirrel come eat me.”  I ran to the top of the cylinder and looked into it blessing my lucky day.  That’s when this stupid bird came up and pushed me over the edge.  Now, I’m stuck in my prison.  It doesn’t matter if I eat all of the seed or not.  I’m stuck until a human sees me in my lockdown.  Why me?  Signed Squirrel in Solitude

Dear Squirrel in Solitude – Darn that bird!  Sometimes they can be so pesky.  I say this first hand seeing some birds in my magical backyard picking on you squirrels.  Wish I was closer.  I would certainly get you out of your predicament.  Hope you weren’t there too long.  It was definitely a catch 22 – you are near the food but trapped at the same time.  Then again, don’t eat too much.  You might not be able to get out!


Dear Bacon – All it took was this one picture for my human to see and pass out.  I thought it was simply brilliant.  Really I do.  By quickly glancing at the picture, did you also think I was broken in half?  I got you, didn’t I?  HA – Barking my head off.  I think this is priceless.  Call me a magician for sure.  Signed Sawed in Half

Dear Sawed in Half – I have to admit it, you got me.  At first glance, I thought oh my goodness this dog is broken.  Even my dad saw it and thought the same thing.  Awesome job in fooling everyone for sure.  You should enter this in some kind of contest for sure.  Thanks pal now keep it together – snorts with piggy laughter.

 

 
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Posted by on 05/09/2017 in Bacon, Dear Bacon

 

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Road Trip – Food Porn – Be Warned

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My mom is forever coming up with road trips for her and dad to take.  Sometimes she tells dad of her destination and other times she doesn’t.  This was one of those times she didn’t.  She told daddy, “Be ready in 15 minutes – road trip.”

Daddy got as excited as a two year going on vacation to Disney World.  He busily got ready and was in Albert waiting in 12 minutes.  I know cause I timed him – snorts.

So off they went in the Albert the Smart car, weaving in and out of downtown Atlanta traffic until they got to their destination – you got it The Varsity.  Daddy was in pig heaven.  He ❤ this place.  You know road trips have to revolve around food with those two.  Now you know where I get my food love from – snorts.

The Varsity they went to is located downtown Atlanta, Georgia.  This is the world’s largest drive-in and is very popular here in Georgia.  You are greeted as soon as you enter in the order lines with, “What’ll Ya Have?  What’ll Ya Have?”  It’s busy – especially if there is a game going on downtown.  I took this information off of their website:

“It sells more than two miles of hot dogs daily, a ton of onion rings, 2500 pounds of fresh cut potatoes, 5000 homemade fried pies, and 300 gallons of chili, all of which are made from scratch daily.”

That’s a lot ‘What’ll Ya Have’ my friends.  But I promised some food porn.  I didn’t forget.  I took all of these pictures from mom’s cell phone… which I might have borrowed when they got back home… and yes they brought me back some onion rings – snorts.  These pictures below are of mom and dad’s plate.  Which one do you think is which?  Mom likes her dogs with chili and mustard.  Dad prefers the works – chili, cheese and slaw.  Look good?

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Oh, and you heard me mention onion rings right?  They have the BEST onion rings.  Of course, this place is not for the diet at heart – trust me on that one.  Mommy says she gains weight just by SMELLING the food.  But this below – aaww goodness piggy down.  These onion rings are the bomb!  Mom and dad brought me some back.  Heaven.  That’s what I was in – piggy heaven!  Look at those crisp delightful rings.  Drool

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 You can not go to The Varsity without more fat being added to your butt dessert.  Mom and dad’s favorite is a warm fried peach pie topped with two scoops of ice cream.  Why two scoops?  Because mommy likes Turtle Track ice cream and daddy likes the Butter Pecan ice cream.  Perfect dessert to share.  See goodness below.

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20140710-082925-30565836.jpgAnd was this a dad approved road trip?  You be the judge of that in this picture to the left.  Yes, that is a Varsity hat he is wearing.  I think mommy took that picture in mid chew.  Glad to know I’m not the only one that doesn’t have any privacy.

You go daddy – keep chewing.  That’s the best sign that he is a very happy man.

The next time you are in Atlanta, be sure to check out The Varsity.  I know mom and dad will be back again…and again… and again.

 

 

 

 

 

 
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Posted by on 07/21/2014 in Uncategorized

 

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