I Think I’ve Found the Perfect Job

OMP – OMP – OMP!  I’ve done it.  I have found the *perfect* job.  The pay is awesome – $44,350 a year!  That’s some chunk change for this oinker.  It’s great.  It’s perfect.  It’s right up my alley.  It even includes perks like free meals (which is important to me), transport (which is good since I can’t drive) and accommodations.  It would be almost like living here at the Hotel Thompson – snorts.  What is it you ask?

A PANDA HUGGER!  How cool is that?  I can hug pandas – especially when I’m getting paid to do it.  My only assignment is to spend “365 days with the pandas sharing in their joys and sorrows.”

Does that not sound prefect?  Of course, I would have to move to China.  But they have internet, right?  I could still blog about my life there.

So what do you think?  You think China is ready for me to become a Panda Hugger?  Could mom/dad live without me here at the Hotel Thompson?

 

Dear Bacon

Dear Bacon,

Hey – we’re just hanging around in underwear. I mean if the humans can do it, why can’t we, right? Signed – Trio Fruit of the Loom

Dear Trio Fruit of the Loom,

UUMM, okay. I completely understand. Some people here at the Hotel Thompson like to run around in their Fruit of the Looms too – not mentioning any names – snort snort dad snort snort. Whatever makes you comfortable, go for it my friends!

 

Dear Bacon,

Wwaattzz uupp? Hey we all gotta have some fun in life my friend. Take it from me, don’t sweat the small stuff. Turn it around and have fun. Life is WAY too short. Signed Monkey Man

Dear Monkey Man,

Hey, you’ve got the right view in life. I like that. Here’s a Waahhhatt’ss uuupp back at you. Keep cheerful Monkey Man!

 

Dear Bacon,

Hey look. I don’t want any problems here. I just want to eat my little bamboo stem in peace and walk away. I’m not trying to cause any problems. Okay? Signed Panda Express

Dear Panda Express,

Why am I craving Chinese food now all of a sudden? I don’t get it. I have no problems with your little snack man. You go right ahead and eat that piece of grass bamboo. I’m more of a fruits and veggies kind of piggy any who. Good eats and take care my friend!

 

Dear Bacon,

Do you know how hard it is to write that great American novel? This is me on my thinking beanie bag with my books and laptop. Sometimes it is so hard to concentrate. What do I do for inspiration? Signed Next Great American Dog Writer

Dear Next Great American Dog Writer,

I do really understand your dilemma. It’s hard to be a writer. I know first hand from my experience in writing my blogs. The clue is to never give up. Inspiration comes to you when you are least expecting it. Sometimes I find it from watching television or watching the humans around here at the Hotel Thompson. When something hits you, write it down as a ‘go to’ when you are least inspired. Keep writing my friend.

 

Dear Bacon,

Sometimes one has to sit back, let it all out and meditate to take away the stress from the day. Do you ever do this? Signed Lemur Lips

Dear Lemur Lips,

Yes. I do meditate and I have even attempted piggy yoga at times. I’ve never let myself go as far as you have my friend. My tongue doesn’t stick out. Although you have quite an interesting and long tongue, I just don’t think mine would meet the standard. Keep destressing my friend!

 

Remember friends – keep sending your pictures and questions to me at baconthompson@gmail.com

 

Dear Bacon – Glasses Edition

Dear Bacon,

Just chilling here in the jungle having my snack of bamboo.  It’s so bright here in my life that I have to wear shades.  Do you wear shades?  Signed Care Bear

Dear Care Bear,

You know you do look awfully cool wearing those shades.  I’m going to have to see if mom can find me a pair for me to sport around. 

 

Dear Bacon,

Hello man.  This is the picture from my pet annual that my mom got me this year from dog school.  Do I look like I’m a chilling here in this picture?  Because, I was like the happening pooch this year.  Signed Uptown

Dear Uptown,

I like the look.  I could so easily see it catching on here in the neighborhood.  You ought to give P-Diddy a run for his money and come out with your own clothing line.  I bet it would be hot!

 

Dear Bacon,

Do these glasses make me all Sally Jessy Raphael or do they give me a classical smart look?  Signed Princess Tink Tink

 

Dear Princess Tink Tink,

Well, honestly they do remind me of Ms. Raphael.  But, on the other hand they have a little more pink in them than hers that have more red.  I think you look classical with a touch of smart emphasis.  Vogue baby and wear those specs!

 

Dear Bacon,

Hey little dude.  I’m from Hollywood and my owner walks me around all of the time with him everywhere we go.  A lot of people will walk up to me and tell my human that I remind them of someone but they can’t quite put their finger on it.  I’m not sure who in the world it would be.  Signed Spike

Dear Spike,

I’m not really sure.  I think you are working the outfit though.  And hey, I’m sure you fit right in at the Hollywood hills.  Just keep enjoying the attention my friend.

 

Dear Bacon,

Sometimes at the zoo when people aren’t looking, we can let our hair down and be ourselves.  Visitors don’t get to see the real ‘us’.  If they did, can you image what they would think?  Signed Ceasar

Dear Ceasar,

I think it would be hoot if I went to the zoo and got to see the ‘real’ ya’ll.  It would be hilarious.  I bet you would have more people coming back to the zoo for visits.  I think you need to see if you can get the rules at the zoo changed.