Let me just start this by saying – snorts with piggy laughter. You *never* know what I will find on mom’s i-Phone when she is not looking. Sometimes it’s things that even I can’t believe that my humans do in public in front of other people. I just don’t get it – shaking my piggy head and oinking.
Last night mom came home from work and went to bed kind of early. She just wasn’t ‘feeling it’ she said. What it was I don’t know but from the way she was looking I don’t want to feel it either. Do you know what ‘it’ is? Do share.
So while mom went to bed, she left her cell on the sofa. I crawled up beside daddy and checked it out. That’s when I found this video that mom/dad took over the weekend while shopping. Oh dear – please don’t lock my humans up for their strangeness. Let me know your thoughts my friends. Is it time to buy those fancy white jackets that tie in the back for both of them yet?
Dear Bacon – I don’t understand. I think I need help. You see. Every time I smile, my eyes crossed. I’ve tried holding my face straight. I’ve tried closing my eyes and opening them at the last minute. I’ve tried even holding my breath. Nothing works. This is the look I get every single time. What in the world am I doing wrong? Can you help? Signed Happy Cross Eyes.
Dear Happy Cross Eyes – You know my friend, sometimes life throws us twists and turns. It’s how we handle these mountains and curves that makes us who we are. Instead of dwelling on your look, embrace it my friend. Not everyone can look as happy as you. I would market that look – just think of your face and smile on coffee cups, calendars, posters – the possibilities are endless – and so is the money. Make it work my friend. And do me a favor when you hit it big – remember this little oinker that believed in YOU!
Dear Bacon – Do you need a kiss? Cause I’m here for YOU my sexy little piggy. When my human asked me what I wanted to be this year for Halloween, I knew. A kiss just for YOU. You help all of these people in the world and I want to help you. What do you say? You wanna dress up with me? Signed Chocolate Kisses
Dear Chocolate Kisses – What can I say? That’s a proposition that I just can’t turn down. And why would I, right? So I tell you what I’m going to do. I’m going to get mommy to dress me up as a giant peanut butter cup … cause you know chocolate and peanut butter go together, right? I’ll keep you posted on my outfit okay. Until then, Happy Halloween..
Dear Bacon – There we were hanging out in the house having a great time while the humans were away. Yaki – he might have drunk too much. That brother of mine – he can’t hold his milk like he used to do in the old days. This is how the humans found us. Of course, they thought exactly what you are thinking, that I was dunking his head in the throne. Nah, I wouldn’t do that to Yaki. I was holding his ears back while he was throwing up. See, I’m the nice guy. Signed Teri and Yaki
Dear Teri and Yaki – I am shocked and somewhat astonished – perhaps even surprised. I will admit it. I did think you were baptizing him in the water. I was wrong for sure. That is very nice of you to help your brother out of a bad situation. I say bravo and well done. I think you may even get the big brother of the year award..
Dear Bacon – Aaww crappers! There I was sunning myself in the open air minding my own business. I must have fell asleep. I was so warm and content. Then when I woke up, I was stuck on a rock and was in a hard place. The water had went down and I literally was wobbling there. The only thing I could move were my feet and head. I wobbled forward. I wobbled backwards. Finally, I rocked enough that I fell into the water. Trust me – you don’t want to do this. Signed Wobbles
Dear Wobbles – oh my friend. I’m so glad you were finally able to wobble off that rock. I can just imagine how you would feel stuck there. And you are right – this pot belly does not want to be stuck on a rock and hard place. Take care my friends.
Dear Bacon – Why do humans want to dress us anipals up this time of the year? Can you answer that for me please. I mean I get it that they want to dress up, go door to door and have parties. But, why us anipals? Why do we have to get pulled in to their hysteria? Let us stay at home alone and do our thing. Cause what the humans don’t understand it that we will party our own way, am I right? Signed Ted in Disguise
Dear Ted in Disguise – AMEN! You said it perfectly. Yes I agree that the humans don’t understand that we will celebrate this Halloween holiday in our own right. Let them go out and do their thing – we will do our thing. Take for instance me. This little oinker has worked all month long on my 31 Days of Spook. By Halloween, I’m going to be exhausted and barely moving. When the humans go out for the night, I’m hitting the big bed, turning on the big television, setting the Select Comfort to around 65 and that’s where you will find me snoozing and snoring. Is it Halloween yet? Have fun on your night my friend. And let me tell you something – I think you are dressed up enough with those glasses. I love them!
REMEMBER my friends – Dear Bacon can’t happen without YOU. Please keep sending your letters and pictures to my email address.
Sometimes I’ll admit it – my mom/dad scare me. No, not the BOO kind of scare. The kind of scare when I go looking for mom’s pictures on her iPhone kind of scare. Take in point the picture below. Mom/dad what the heck were you thinking? See, this is the kind of trouble that happens when mom/dad go out unchaperoned. They don’t need to look for trouble – trouble finds THEM.
Rub Some Butt, Three Little Piggies BBQ Rub, Bone Suckin’ Sauce and Sweet Rub of Mine – really? Do I need to even ask where this ‘stuff’ needs to go? Dad don’t even think about coming my way with any of these bottles in your hand. I may need to ask for an intervention here at the Hotel Thompson. Daddy was too quick to let me know that some of these traveled to our house here. I haven’t seen them and Lord knows I don’t wanna.
Help me? Snorts and Oinks …. while I still can.
NOTE: I know I’m safe my friends. No worries here at the Hotel Thompson. Mommy wouldn’t let anything happen to me for anything in the world. No need to call PETA… yet 🙂
There will be a day that comes that we will be finished here on this Earth. Mom/dad have told me all about the facts of life and what happens with the process. It can kind of be overwhelming to think of this situation without your loved ones. But here lately, I’ve been watching a lot of television. Who would have guess that, right? I *had* to get caught up from being at Summer Camp with no television for the week.
So as you’ve probably guessed with some of my blogs this week, there is a new trend on epilogues. Daddy was watching a sports talk show on television and I was curious so I jumped on the sofa to watch it with him. They were talking about this new trend of epilogues – being as short as possible. One guy was 93 years young when he passed. In his epilogue they wrote, “Finally golfed his age.” Another guy’s epilogue was, “Finally caught the ball”. See, short and to the point.
I understand new trends. But in epilogues, could you really go short talking about your life? So here is my challenge to you my friends, what would YOUR short epilogue be?
I can’t tell you some of the ones that daddy told me he would write about me. The man has no filter between his brain and mouth – mom tells him that all of the time – snorts. But I did think of some for me:
Bet you didn’t know that, huh? Snorts – sure you did. My humans were dropped on their heads too much as children. In fact, I think they probably fell off the back of several pick up trucks while growing up. This past weekend, they decided to go to the movies before having our “family meeting”. What a joke that was but you know about that already and I’m sure you’ll be hearing more about that soon. So all goes well. Mom has been wanting to see the movie Jurassic World. She loves all of those movies but she wanted to wait until the hoopla died down a bit so the theater wouldn’t be overly crowded. Good plan huh?
So they went and mom gets her favorite treat – popcorn – while dad goes for his favorite – nachos and cheese. Can these two agree on anything – snorts? So there they were watching the gazillion previews and trailers for up and coming new movies. Rolls piggy eyes. Mom said by the time the previews got over, she turned to daddy and said, “What are we watching today?” Isn’t that how it is though? That’s why I insist on watching movies at home in my bedroom. I can stop and pause for potty breaks and popcorn in the comfort of my toddler bed. Snorts.
But there they were chowing down and waiting for the movie to start. That’s when mom said it happened. Mom said that one of dad’s nacho and cheese chips ‘jumped’ in the middle of her popcorn bag. What? How did that happen, right? That’s when daddy said he ‘might have’ had some help with it. Really daddy? I’m shocked.
So he picked up some popcorn on his nacho and cheese and said it was delicious. Mom tried one and said it was really good. Thus that started the Nachos-cheese-popcorn party before the movie. Rolls piggy eyes. Those two are so easily amused.
The movie then started and for the next two hours they were quiet. Mom said the movie was outstanding. Dad said it was great. There were ups and downs and you have to be kidding me situations. But overall, they highly recommended it. Afterwards they came home and that’s when it happened. I think daddy brought someone home with him. Of course mommy was like, “Can we keep him”. All I gotta say is he’s not staying in my bedroom!
Okay my friends – I have to ask. Do you think I should buy this for the little guy here at the Hotel Thompson – Houdini? Don’t you think that he would just look absolutely cute as heck wearing this? Snorts – too much? Not enough?
He’s an alright kind of guy – don’t tell him I said that. You know we share a bedroom. Do you know that he snores? For a little six pound pup, he can shake the rafters. Really, pig’s honor. I’m not lying.
I just thought if I bought him a shirt – since he likes to dress up – it might show him that I do kind of like him… for a puppy.
So what do you think – yes or no for the shirt? Snorts – happy Saturday!
Call Scooby Doo. Call Sherlock Holmes. Heck call my cousin Sherlock Bones. We have quite the mystery here at the Hotel Thompson. This is cookie season – you know Girl Scout cookies. We here ❤ the Girl Scouts. Our front door has a sign that reads, “No Soliciting… unless you have Girl Scout Cookies”. That sign is fully enforced – snorts and rolls with laughter.
So mom buys boxes of Girl Scouts cookies (I’m ashamed to say how many but I can tell you they freeze well for during the year in emergency cases). She gets her box of gold and brings them home. Dad’s all time favorite is Samoas. Dad’s mouth has been watering all day long since mom called and told him she had him a stash. He gets him a tall glass of milk and he is going to have him a few while watching Jeopardy – which is another post for another day.
He reaches for his box and what the pig? The box is light. Maybe it’s a new formula – light? Snorts – no really the box is empty! What the cream cheese he says followed by where are my cookies?! I need cookies in my belly. He bellows for mom to come here. She does and he hands her the box and says, “Are you playing with me?” That’s when she feels the box which is EMPTY. The box is sealed, stamped and still intact. Mom takes these pictures for proof.
Someone had ONE job to do and guess what? They failed miserably! Snorts. Mom called the person she bought the cookies from and explained what happened. Even he was like what? Mom did bring the box to the guy the next day and the box was replaced but…the mystery is still there. What happened to the cookies?
Were they not put in the box to begin with? Were they invisible for people on a DIEt? How many other people got empty boxes? Has this happened to you before?
And let me just nip the rumor going around – snorts oinks – me and Houdini did NOT – repeat DID NOT – have anything to do with the mysterious disappearance of dad’s cookies. There was no Mission Impossible music playing and there was no ninja moves being done by either of us. For real. Innocent the both of us.
With mommy being sick and Houdini being sick during the holidays, we weren’t real timely in getting some thank you’s out that we needed to. Please forgive us for our delay my friends.
The first thank you we want to throw out is to Auntie Sharon of Gentlestitches. She sent us the coolest Christmas card. Why do you ask? Because we are not used to seeing Santa Claus at the beach – snorts. Here, we celebrate Christmas in the cold whereas in Australia it’s the Summer. Such a neat different huh? Maybe one day mom/dad can celebrate in Australia – wouldn’t that be fun?
With the card she sent, she sent me a cute little black piggy – remind you of anyone? Snorts – oinks. And she sent a red Christmas hat. See it in the picture? Squeals – I was so excited! I let mommy bring it to her office to put on her desk. That way she can look at it and (1) think of Auntie Sharon and (2) think of this little oinker during the day – snorts.
Then Auntie Sharon sent me a 2015 calendar! OMP (Oh my pig!) Look at these awesome pictures throughout the year. I was so excited. Auntie Sharon said that she had been to most of these places in Australia – WOW! They are so beautiful. And I’ll tell you a secret. These pictures made dad turn a little green. He wasn’t sick or anything. He was green with envy – evil snorts. He wants to visit them too.
Mom is going to hang this calendar in my bedroom for me to look at during the year. Oh, ignore mom’s fingers int he picture. It’s so hard to teach her how to take great pics 🙂
The next person I want to give a shout out and a thank you to is my brother Easy. Now this is a funny tale. Easy and his staff sent a package to me on 12/12/2014. I didn’t get it until Friday, 01/02/2015. Amazing huh? If only we had strapped a camera on to this package to see the places it went! It was rubber banded together, shrink wrapped and then taped together by the post office. I actually had to get daddy to help me open it 🙂
But when I did – squeals – it was like Christmas all over again! Look at the stash that was in the bag – ALL of us anipals were so excited. Mommy snagged the piggy calendar.. something about first dibs. I’m not sure what that meant – snorts. The cats grabbed their treats. Me and Houdini grabbed the pillow and toys. It was a blast!
And get a look at that pillow – what a catch! The little hands stick out off of the pillow. Houdini would get on top of it and it looked like the hands were hugging him. OMP! It was hilarious!
But there was one toy in the bag that is strictly Houdini’s. He has had so much fun with this ‘newspaper’. He grabbed it mumbling something about dibs – what is that? – and took off through the Hotel Thompson. This thing has a high squeak and trust me. The dog knows how to squeak his newspaper. It was a snort of a good time for the little guy this weekend. I played with the ball that was in the bag. For some reason, I don’t mind pushing it around with my snout. Not too much though because it’s still winter and I really don’t do much in the winter except sleep, eat, poop, sleep, eat, pee – snorts. You get the picture.
So dear friends – thank YOU so very much from the bottom of all of our hearts here at the Hotel Thompson. We really, REALLY enjoyed our gifts.