31 Days of Spook – Mental Health Ward

Today, let’s tell another true story from daddy.  I know you’re dying to hear it – evil snorts.

To get through college, daddy worked at a local hospital on the mental health ward.  No those rumors are not true – that is not where he met mommy – snorts.  When he first started at the hospital, he worked the midnight shift. The mental health ward during this time was in the basement right beside the morgue.  That would bring shivers to this little piggy to begin with.

One of his co-workers  told him a story the first couple of days that he was in training that still to this day puts his nerves on edge.  They said that years earlier, a mental health patient had gotten out of their rooms in the middle of the night.  They went into the  elevator and hung themselves around 3:00AM. Staff of the hospital found the mental health patient hanging in the elevator dead.

Since then, the elevators had locks installed on them and they won’t work without the key being inserted to call for the elevator.  The nurse told daddy that every night at 3:00AM, without fail, the elevator doors would open by themselves.  Daddy didn’t take too much into this until the first time he worked by himself.  The nurse’s station was right in front of the elevator doors.  Exactly at 3:00AM, the doors opened all by themselves. It still sends chills up and down daddy’s spine.  And the elevators to this date, still open and close exactly at 3:00AM.  Nothing is wrong with them, they’ve been checked.  There is no reason for them to open at this particular time.  Anyone going up?

 

Dear Bacon

Dear Bacon – Oh dude.  They say that sometimes you have to kiss a lot of frogs to find your prince.  Well, I’ve been walking around everywhere and licking different kinds of frogs.  I mean, a kiss brings a prince.  I don’t need a prince.  I just need a man to take care of my beautiful self.  And hey, I figured a lick would suffice.  But this one tastes funny.  It doesn’t taste anything like chicken – I will tell you that.  What do you think of my situation?  Signed Halli

Dear Halli – Oh my friend.  I hate to be the one to tell you this but sometimes certain frogs cause hallucinations.  So if you lick one, you might *think* it’s your prince or soulmate when it’s really not.  I mean heck, personally I think a lot of humans do the same thing – lick the wrong humans and hallucinate of a wonderful happily ever after life when they know better.  My suggestion is maybe quit licking and looking for Mr. Right or Mr. Wrong.  You will find the perfect soulmate when you least expect it.  I know you will!

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Dear Bacon – I work in my family’s veterinary office.  I think that I am in the right field.  How many anipals do you know that go to a vet’s office and just don’t understand why they are there or what is going on.  I’m here to offer my assistance and paw in explaining the situation.  You know like a lifeline into the unknown.  I think our profession is lost.  We need more anipals to work in these veterinary offices – they can definitely be a scary place.  Signed Vega, KA (kitty assistant)

Dear Vega – I think this is an absolutely wonderful idea!  You are so right.  We do need more anipals to work in these veterinary offices.  They are scary and I would love to have a helping paw when I visit.  Keep up your awesome work my friend!

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Dear Bacon – Sometimes you just get tired and want to pick up and move on to your next destination.  There’s nothing wrong with that.  Sometimes you feel like  you need to travel to touch others and make a statement in your life.  I feel that need.  Cause you know, nobody knows what baggage we carry.  We gotta travel the world and the seven seas and touch as many people as we can.  What do you think?  Signed Hobo

Dear Hobo – I’m just sitting here smiling my sweet friend.  You are right.  Sometimes you feel the need to travel.  Other times you feel the need to come back home.  You know what they say – different strokes for different folks.  If it makes you happy, go for it my dear friend.  I am no one to judge.

 

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.Dear Bacon – You may be too young to remember Mr. Owl so let me tell you about him.  Once upon a time in cartoon land, a little boy brought Mr. Owl a sucker and asked how many licks does it take to get to the center of a Tootsie Pop.  Well, Mr. Owl licked the Tootsie Pop three times and then bit into the Tootsie Pop thus telling the child three times.  Knowing this information, I thought I would really go for the gold and see how many licks it takes to get to the center of that Tootsie Pop.  I’ve been sitting out here in the sun all day licking.  As you can see, I still have Tootsie Pop and now my fur is smoking hot.  What is the moral of this story?  If you are going to lick to get to the center, do it in air conditioning.  It’s too hot out here.  Signed Hot Pockets

Dear Hot Pockets – You poor thing.  At least you don’t have to worry about tan lines, right?  🙂  That’s positive thinking for sure.  But you didn’t tell us.  How many licks does it take to get to the center of a Tootsie Pop?  The world will never know.

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Dear Bacon – Don’t judge.  I went to jump out the window and got stuck.  Darn this belly.  I know you have a belly – I’m not judging by any means – but how do you manage these positions?  Please tell me.  Signed Garfield

Dear Garfield – Dude, you might want to think about cutting back just a little.  I’m not judging, trust me.  I mean heck, one time I got stuck behind the couch by my belly and all you could see were my hind legs running in the air behind me.  Shivers.  A day I will never forget.  So just like you, I cut back just a little for future escapades.  Be safe my friend.  You got this!

 

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❤ Remember sweet friends – Dear Bacon can’t happen without YOU.  Please continue to email me your pictures and letters ❤

 

Travels in the South

Hello friends – welcome to the next series of Travels in the South.  This series starts with the arrival of Fozziemom and Fozziedad all the way from Australia.  Today we highlight how the mom’s encouraged the dad’s to go to a baby hospital.  Something was mentioned about biological clocks.  I’m not sure what that means.  So the field trip was scheduled and everyone gathered in the Jeep headed to Cleveland, Georgia.  Does that town ring a bell with you?  How about if I show you a picture of the hospital.

Now is that a hospital or what?  The moms were so totally excited upon seeing this place.  Personally I think it was because of all of the mountain streets that the GPS was directing everyone to travel.  And yes, it was so hidden away near the mountains that dad said he thought he heard banjo music playing.  But again I digress.

Welcome my friends to Babyland General Hospital – home of the Cabbage Patch Kids.  Now if you have been reading my blog for any length of time you will know that mom is not a huge fan of those kids.  In fact to refresh your memory, mom got one when she was a young teenager.  She completely hated it.  It might have been because mom was a tomboy.  It might have been because the freak had red hair and reminded her of Chucky.  It could have been just because.  But mom hated the freak of nature.

And upon getting fussed out repeatedly because she didn’t “play with it”, mom did just that one day.  It was a swift game of Indians and Cowboys with the red headed freak being tied to a tree and set on fire.  Don’t worry mom wasn’t hurt and the fire wasn’t huge… just big enough to take care of little Chuckette.

So knowing the story, you would think this would be the very last place mom would want to go for a visit.  But through conversations with Fozziemom, it just *had* to happen.  Strange huh?

When you pull up to the hospital, there are huge ceramic babies in cabbage leaves all along the front and sides of the building.  Some are boys and other girls.  Some have pacifiers while others don’t.  And look at this picture closely – do you see who showed up for the tour?  BASHFUL!  Can you believe that?

Now daddy said that there were more squeals coming from the girls than he had heard in a long time.  It wasn’t bad enough that the place looked huge from the outside but then you have all of these ‘babies’ sitting around the building.  Shaking my piggy head.  By this point, even mom was giving in to the hospital with anticipation and couldn’t wait to get inside of the hospital.

When you first enter, along the walls there are pictures of hundreds of celebrities who have autographed pictures to Xavier Roberts (the founder of Cabbage Patch Kids).  Also as you go further into the waiting room, there is a huge cabbage patch chair.  Oh don’t worry, everyone had to take a turn on the chair to get their pictures taken… you know for documentational purposes to prove they were there – yeah that’s it.

Now some people – snort oink – had a great time in that chair.  And mom and Fozziemom said the cabbage patch chair is way comfortable.

Of course the dad’s were forced to partake in picture time.  What?  You never know when you might be back and you want all of the picture opportunities you can get.

 

The hospital is set up in many sections.  The waiting room, the nursery, the baby room, the toddler room and then the delivery room.

♥

The nursery had babies that were so young in their cribs.  Of course Fozziemom couldn’t help but to gather one up and rock in the rocking chair that was so handy in the nursery.  Look that picture – doesn’t that show ❤ ?  And a cool thing about the nursery and baby rooms – there was crying.  Babies that actually were heard crying!  What an awesome delight that was.

And the baby room for toddlers – OMP!  Mom said they had the toddlers in cribs taking naps, in high chairs, in bouncy chairs, on changing tables and in strollers.  Can you imagine that?  And there wasn’t just a few – there at least 50-75 babies in these couple of rooms.  It was a hoot – and daddy said mom was overwhelmed.

After seeing these rooms, everyone had to go into the main room which also housed the delivery room.  On this day, we were five minutes late or we would have seen the birth of a baby.  Mom just kicks herself for missing that.

All over the main room there were hundreds of babies in different stages in their babyhood.  These babies were sprouting from their cabbage patch leaves.  Some of their heads would move.  In another section, some babies were in their leaves and their bodies would come up and down out of the leaves.  But these babies, they were ready to be born yet. The babies are pollinated by fanciful Bunnybees and taken care of by the licensed patch doctors and nurses.

Did I mention that the staff of the hospital are all dressed in nurse outfits?  Of course they are – why wouldn’t they be, right?  I mean it is a hospital – snorts with piggy laughter.

Dad – bless his heart – thought he was going to pass out when mom told him joyfully, “Honey, I want a baby!”  He made her promise that it wouldn’t end up like the first one she had.  After she promised, he let her loose to find her perfect baby.

So while Fozziemom and Fozziedad searched the hospital for their liking, mom took off to find her baby.  Dad says he thinks that mom held at least 80% of the babies talking to them to see if any of them with bond with her.  Just when she thought she was going to give up – she found her baby – Haley Bree.

And look at Haley Bree – with her pink glasses, pacifier and ballerina outfit that mom just had to buy for her baby – of course completed with tutu.  And yes, that is a baby diaper in the picture as well that mom bought.

So my friends, what has the Travels in the South taught you?  Putting together Fozziemom and mom, there will be trouble.  You can’t even guess how much trouble because we will get more into that next week.  But this day also teaches us that a mom can change her colors.  Once mom saw exactly where Cabbage Patch Kids came from, she *had* to have one.  Now, she has fond memories of their tour this day and all of the oohhing and aaahhing that mom and Fozziemom went through with all of the babies.

Join us next week my friends as we continue with our Travels in the South with Fozziemom and Fozziedad.

 

 

 

 

 

Bacons Tales of Terror

My dear friends – today is a very special day.  Why do you ask?  Well today is Friday the 13th.  And guess what?  It’s the only Friday the 13th we will have this year in 2016.  See, I told you it was special.

So I looked far and near and found a very special story for you my friends.  Are you ready?  Here’s my hoof in case you need to hold it.  This one might just send shivers up and down your spine and leave your night light on tonight when you go to bed.

 This woman – lets just call her Judy – was in the hospital.  Every morning when the nurses would check on her and ask her how she slept the night before, she would tell them she had an awful night.  That a little girl kept coming into her room wanting to play.  And although she was sick, Judy loved children and would stay up play with the little girl for hours.  Well the nurses told Judy that there were no little children on the floor and at that time of the night no one should be visiting.  Judy shook her head and was adamant that the little girl was coming every night to play.

Later that night just like clock work, the little girl showed up again in Judy’s room.  Before the little girl could get all the way in the room, Judy snapped a picture with her cell phone.  What do you see in this picture my friends?

 

31 Days of Spook – Mental Health Ward

Today, let’s tell another true story from daddy.  I know you’re dying to hear it – evil snorts.

To get through college, daddy worked at a local hospital on the mental health ward.  No those rumors are not true – that is not where he met mommy – snorts.  When he first started at the hospital, he worked the midnight shift. The mental health ward during this time was in the basement right beside the morgue.  That would bring shivers to this little piggy to begin with.

One of his co-workers  told him a story the first couple of days that he was in training that still to this day puts his nerves on edge.  They said that years earlier, a mental health patient had gotten out of their rooms in the middle of the night.  They went into the  elevator and hung themselves around 3:00AM. Staff of the hospital found the mental health patient hanging in the elevator dead.

Since then, the elevators had locks installed on them and they won’t work without the key being inserted to call for the elevator.  The nurse told daddy that every night at 3:00AM, without fail, the elevator doors would open by themselves.  Daddy didn’t take too much into this until the first time he worked by himself.  The nurse’s station was right in front of the elevator doors.  Exactly at 3:00AM, the doors opened all by themselves. It still sends chills up and down daddy’s spine.  And the elevators to this date, still open and close exactly at 3:00AM.  Nothing is wrong with them, they’ve been checked.  There is no reason for them to open at this particular time.  Anyone going up?

 

31 Days of Spook – Mental Health Ward

Hello friends.  Today is a wonderful day indeed.  You have made it more than half way through my scares.  I applaud you for making it this far.  You deserve some credit.  So today, let’s tell another true story from daddy.  I know you’re dying to hear it – evil snorts.

To get through college, daddy worked at a local hospital on the mental health ward.  No those rumors are not true – that is not where he met mommy – snorts.

When he first started at the hospital, he worked the midnight shift. The mental health ward during this time was in the basement right beside the morgue.  That would bring shivers to this little piggy to begin with.

One of his co-workers  told him a story the first couple of days that he was in training that still to this day puts his nerves on edge.  They said that years earlier, a mental health patient had gotten out of their rooms in the middle of the night.  They went into the  elevator and hung themselves around 3:00AM. Staff of the hospital found the mental health patient hanging in the elevator dead.

Since then, the elevators had locks installed on them and they won’t work without the key being inserted to call for the elevator.  The nurse told daddy that every night at 3:00AM, without fail, the elevator doors would open by themselves.  Daddy didn’t take too much into this until the first time he worked by himself.  The nurse’s station was right in front of the elevator doors.  Exactly at 3:00AM, the doors opened all by themselves. It still sends chills up and down daddy’s spine.  And the elevators to this date, still open and close exactly at 3:00AM.  Nothing is wrong with them, they’ve been checked.  There is no reason for them to open at this particular time.  Anyone going up?

 

31 Days of Spook – Day 23

Hello friends – Count Baconula here.  Today is a wonderful day indeed.  Not only are the humans coming home from their lovely vacation, you have made it more than half way through my scares.  I applaud you for making it this far.  You deserve some credit.  So today, let’s tell another true story from daddy.  I know you’re dying to hear it – evil snorts.

To get through college, daddy worked at a local hospital on the mental health ward.  No those rumors are not true – that is not where he met mommy – snorts.

When he first started at the hospital, he worked the midnight shift. The mental health ward during this time was in the basement right beside the morgue.  That would bring shivers to this little piggy to begin with.

One of his co-workers  told him a story the first couple of days that he was in training that still to this day puts his nerves on edge.  They said that years earlier, a mental health patient had gotten out of their rooms in the middle of the night.  They went into the  elevator and hung themselves around 3:00AM. Staff of the hospital found the mental health patient hanging in the elevator dead.

Since then, the elevators had locks installed on them and they won’t work without the key being inserted to call for the elevator.  The nurse told daddy that every night at 3:00AM, without fail, the elevator doors would open by themselves.  Daddy didn’t take too much into this until the first time he worked by himself.  The nurse’s station was right in front of the elevator doors.  Exactly at 3:00AM, the doors opened all by themselves. It still sends chills up and down daddy’s spine.  And the elevators to this date, still open and close exactly at 3:00AM.  Nothing is wrong with them, they’ve been checked.  There is no reason for them to open at this particular time.  Anyone going up?