Santa Claus Is REAL!

Let me tell you a secret.  Mom had her iPhone unlocked and I was just looking at the pictures – yep that’s what I was doing – snorts looking a pictures.

I came across a person in her contacts that I couldn’t believe!  Mommy has the direct number to Santa Claus – thud piggy down.  So when the humans tell you that they know people that are important – it’s true.

I told Hemi and Houdini about this contact in mom’s iPhone.  They couldn’t believe it and thought it was a joke.  We called the number and put it on speaker phone.  OMP (oh my pig!).  All of our mouths fell open.  It really was Santa Claus.  We were all shocked.  Mommy really does know Santa.  We *have* to be good now.  What if she sends him pictures or calls him herself?

Just in case, I’m off to clean up my pig pen of a bedroom.  Hey, I gotta be on that good list this year.  I have a big stocking to fill!  And you still don’t believe?  Look what else I found on mom’s Facebook page – OMP!  Gotta run now.  My room needs cleaning 🙂

 

Santa Claus For REAL!

Let me tell you a secret.  This weekend, mom had her iPhone unlocked and I was just looking at the pictures – yep that’s what I was doing – snorts looking a pictures.

I came across a person in her contacts that I couldn’t believe!  Mommy has the direct number to Santa Claus – thud piggy down.  So when the humans tell you that they know people that are important – it’s true.

I told Hemi and Houdini about this contact in mom’s iPhone.  They couldn’t believe it and thought it was a joke.  We called the number and put it on speaker phone.  OMP (oh my pig!).  All of our mouths fell open.  It really was Santa Claus.  We were all shocked.  Mommy really does know Santa.  We *have* to be good now.  What if she sends him pictures or calls him herself?

Just in case, I’m off to clean up my pig pen of a bedroom.  Hey, I gotta be on that good list this year.  I have a big stocking to fill!  And you still don’t believe?  Look what else I found on mom’s Facebook page – OMP!  Gotta run now.  My room needs cleaning 🙂

 

Santa Claus Is REAL!

Let me tell you a secret.  This weekend, mom had her iPhone unlocked and I was just looking at the pictures – yep that’s what I was doing – snorts looking a pictures.

I came across a person in her contacts that I couldn’t believe!  Mommy has the direct number to Santa Claus – thud piggy down.  So when the humans tell you that they know people that are important – it’s true.

I told Hemi, Mouse Girl and Houdini about this contact in mom’s iPhone.  They couldn’t believe it and thought it was a joke.  We called the number and put it on speaker phone.  OMP (oh my pig!).  All of our mouths fell open.  It really was Santa Claus.  We were all shocked.  Mommy really does know Santa.  We *have* to be good now.  What if she sends him pictures or calls him herself?

Just in case, I’m off to clean up my pig pen of a bedroom.  Hey, I gotta be on that good list this year.  I have a big stocking to fill!  And you still don’t believe?  Look what else I found on mom’s Facebook page – OMP!  Gotta run now.  My room needs cleaning 🙂

 

Dear Bacon

Dear Bacon – What?  Us reindeer can’t make a living only working one time a year at Christmas.  So what do we do for part time gigs?  Well I myself go from flea market to flea market taking pictures with the humans. Sometimes just for fun, I’ll stick my tongue out.  For some reasons, the humans love that.  Hey – it’s a living in between working for the fat dude.  Signed Donner

Dear Donner – You know I really never did think about what ya’ll did for the rest of the year.  I guess you would have to make some money during the year.  And hey, why not stick your tongue out?  I bet you make more money doing that, right?  Way to go my friend.  If you are ever near these parts, stop in for some treats.

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Dear Bacon – What has been seen can not now be unseen.  Why do the humans think they can run naked throughout the house when other humans are not around?  Are we not considered family?  Nobody wants to see that – put some clothes on.  And let me just say, just because other humans aren’t around, we don’t want to smell your farts either.  My gosh – what was that a motor boat??  Signed Shocked

Dear Shocked – WOW – it must have been a vision that can not be erased from your memory.  The look on your face tells me everything. And the run by motor boat, it had to be your dad, wasn’t it?  Shakes piggy head.  My dad does that too and then tries to blame it on me when mom walks in the room.  Dude, they ought to bottle that stuff up for hazardous materials!

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 Dear Bacon – For some reason, I don’t think that humans are suppose to get up and then fall over.  I saw my mistress working at her desk, stand up and then fall over and go boom.  Her eyes were shut and everything.  I just sat here and watched… and waited.  Is it normal?  Do you humans just get tired like this?  Signed Watcher

Dear Watcher – Shakes head no.  I don’t think that is normal my friend.  Did she finally get up?  Maybe she was looking at the family budget.  Sometimes my dad’s eyes will roll to the back of his head when he looks at the budget at the end of the month.  Yeah – maybe that’s it.  For some reasons, numbers do that to humans.  I don’t get it either.  I mean what’s to budget for?  Just our food is important.

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Dear Bacon – What?  Haven’t you ever seen a kangaroo with his rabbit?  This is my buddy Hopper – he’s my pal.  He never talks back and goes everywhere I do.  Sure my friends talk about me behind my back but they’re just jealous.  Don’t you have a friend too?  Signed Hopper Times Two

Dear Hopper Times Two – Who are other people to judge?  If you want Hopper around with you all of the time, so be it.  I have little friends around the Hotel Thompson that I count as my friends.  It’s no different.  You be your own kangaroo and don’t worry about what people say behind your back.  They are just jealous that they don’t have a close friend like yours.  Hop on and take care!

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Dear Bacon – I’m just a sexy little feline trying to pay her way through cat school.  They only way I can make some money is buy working the poles.  I practice at home on the legs to any table I can find at home during the day.  Then at night, I hit the club and work my magic.  What do you think about this move?  Sexy enough for you?  Signed Magic Kitty

Dear Magic Kitty – Well, um, what can I say?  You have the moves like Jagger?  You can get into positions that I’ve never seen before.  But I gotta ask…. where do they put the money?

.

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 Dear Bacon – My mother thinks I’m always too mean towards my little brother and that I need to show him how much I really love him.  I can do that, I said, so I decided to give him this great big hug.  Do you believe he had the nerve to stick his tongue out at me and tell Mommy I was still being mean to him?  Apparently hugging gets you put in time out these days…. it’s not fair, I tell you!  Signed Cat Hugger

Dear Cat Hugger – You hugged him and still got time out?  The nerve of your human.  I mean look at the little guy – he is sticking his tongue out at you?  What about that?  Did your humans not see that?  You being all nice and him showing you the tongue.  I say this means war… of course don’t get caught again – snorts

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REMEMBER friends.  Dear Bacon can’t happen without YOU.  Please continue to send me your pictures and questions via email.

 

 

 

Santa Claus For REAL!

Let me tell you a secret.  This weekend, mom had her iPhone unlocked and I was just looking at the pictures – yep that’s what I was doing – snorts looking a pictures.

I came across a person in her contacts that I couldn’t believe!  Mommy has the direct number to Santa Claus – thud piggy down.  So when the humans tell you that they know people that are important – it’s true.

I told Hemi, Mouse Girl and Houdini about this contact in mom’s iPhone.  They couldn’t believe it and thought it was a joke.  We called the number and put it on speaker phone.  OMP (oh my pig!).  All of our mouths fell open.  It really was Santa Claus.  We were all shocked.  Mommy really does know Santa.  We *have* to be good now.  What if she sends him pictures or calls him herself?

Just in case, I’m off to clean up my pig pen of a bedroom.  Hey, I gotta be on that good list this year.  I have a big stocking to fill!  And you still don’t believe?  Look what else I found on mom’s Facebook page – OMP!  Gotta run now.  My room needs cleaning 🙂

 

Dear Bacon – Special Edition

Tis the season to be merry my friends!  Today, we have a very special issue of Dear Bacon.  I bet a lot of you know my special friend.  He’s been hanging (literally) around my house since Thanksgiving.  For those that don’t know him, I’ll tell you a little back ground.

The Elf on the Shelf: A Christmas Tradition came out in 2005 in a children’s book.  The little Elf that comes with the book has a job between Thanksgiving and Christmas Eve.  His main job is to watch over the household and report back to the North Pole nightly on if the people are naughty or nice.  He comes back to the household by morning.  There’s one important thing about the Elf.  You don’t touch him as doing so will erase any Christmas magic that has been blessed upon him.  Every morning that he comes back from the North Pole, people in the household find him in different places.  But remember, it’s all magic!

So in honor of Christmas, we have the Thompson Elf – Don Juan – representing in the Dear Bacon issue.  We hope you enjoy.  XOXO – Bacon

Dear Don Juan,

You’re a fellow Elf.  You know times are hard working for the fat guy.  We work once a year.  It’s hard to make a living like this.  Sometimes we gotta do what we gotta do, right?  Signed Elf Burglar

Dear Elf Burglar,

Step.away.from.the.pig.  Don’t make me call the Elf Union.  Elves do not steal in the houses that we are to watch over.  Your special Christmas powers can be revoked with a snap of a finger.  You know there are other jobs you can work while in the off season.  I’ve heard Walmart is looking for door greeters.  Or perhaps you can join a traveling circus during down times.  Anything but stealing my fellow Elf.

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Dear Don Juan,

Last night, the humans they stayed up until the whee hours of the morning making cookies.  I just thought I would make my mark.  You like?  Signed Droopy

Dear Droopy,

I like and I approve.  This is what I’m talking about.  Good little elves help out around the house not steal.  Way to go my friend!

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Dear Don Juan,

I’ve read on Bacon’s blog that his human father likes to play Angry Birds.  Well, I thought I would share this photo for you to take notes on future escapades.  Enjoy my friend.  Signed Angry Elf

Dear Angry Elf,

That’s what I’m talking about!  Thanks for the idea.  I definitely will pursue this one tonight.. perhaps 🙂

.

Dear Don Juan,

When you have to go, you gotta go.  The humans, they caught a picture of me in mid dunk.  Thank goodness I was holding on and the humans didn’t see me in action.  Signed Pepper Elf

Dear Pepper Elf,

Hey, you’re right.  It’s nature.  It’s part of life.  At least you’re potty trained.  Tis the season for magic in all forms.

.

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Dear Don Juan,

What?  We get kind of bored at night staying up all by ourselves.  Sometimes we get back from reporting in at the the North Pole early. We gotta do something in our spare time for just us.  I met this chick named Frankie Stein from Monster High.  Dude, she has some moves!  Signed Pole Elf

Dear Pole Elf,

Oh dear.  This can’t be good.  Where did you get that money?  And dear Lord, you’re sitting on baby food.  There’s a baby in the house.  Step away from the pole and tell Ms. Stein to put on some clothing.  Shakes head.. I may need to investigate this further.  Can you email me Ms. Stein’s telephone number?  You know, for my paperwork.

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Dear Don Juan,

It’s just a little nick and tuck.  What can I say?  He was on the naughty list.  I had to do something to snap him into reality that this is the Christmas season.  Thoughts?  Signed Barber Elf

Dear Barber Elf,

Are you insane?!  We can’t do that.  That poor fellow is going to be scared for life.  Listen here you young Elf, report back to the North Pole ASAP.  I’ve gotta get this taken care of with the humans.  Where’s is that Easter bunny when you need him?

.

Dear blogville,  I hope you enjoyed this special of Dear Bacon – Elf on the Shelf.  Remember, tonight is the big night.  Make sure you’re extra good and leave out cookies.  I’ve heard Santa likes chocolate chip and macadamia.  Well, that’s what my human daddy tells me.  XOXO – Bacon

Note:  Pictures were sent in by friends of mom who emailed them to me with questions.

 

That Evil Elf on the Shelf

Go ahead, you can admit it.  That little Elf on the Shelf is evil looking.  You just *know* he’s up to trouble.  What?  You don’t know who he is?  Well my friend, you might just be one of the lucky ones during this holiday season.

The Elf on the Shelf: A Christmas Tradition came out in 2005 in a children’s book.  The little Elf that comes with the book has a job between Thanksgiving and Christmas Eve.  His main job is to watch over the household and report back to the North Pole nightly on if the people are naughty or nice.  He comes back to the household by morning.  There’s one important thing about the Elf.  You don’t touch him as doing so will erase any Christmas magic that has been blessed upon him.  Every morning that he comes back from the North Pole, people in the household find him in different places.  But remember, it’s all magic!

.

Cute story idea huh?  Sure it is.  But, have you seen this Elf?  Look to the left.  Shivers – he’s kind of a got a look in those eyes that makes you not want to turn your back to him.  And the idea of having him watching ‘over’ your household and reporting back to Santa every night, that’s kind of eerie.  It’s great on one hand when small children are in the home.  They walk the line with this little guy around.  I’m not sure if they are afraid of getting caught being naughty or if they are just plain scared of the psycho Elf.  He kind of reminds me of clowns… and that makes me want to run to my bedroom and hide under my toddler bed.

But I digress.  We have a Elf on the Shelf at the Hotel Thompson. Mom insists on dragging him out of the attic (great place for him all year) for Christmas.  There’s no kids here unless you count us anipals and daddy.  But mom insists. Every Thanksgiving, Elffie comes out and the story book is read.  And the good thing about these elves, you get to name yours.  Don’t ask me why because I believe it has to be a twist on a twist but ours is named Don Juan.  How ironic huh?

I’ll be the first to admit that I’m afraid of that little six inch freak and so are the purr things.  We have had our moments of trying to ‘kidnap’ him and finish him off to no avail.  And supposedly Santa Claus has bestowed Christmas magic on him so he moves around the Hotel Thompson.  Yesterday morning, I woke up in my toddler bed and he was sleeping beside me looking at me with that mystic face.  I squealed so loudly that I think I woke up our neighbors.  That little misfit needs to stay out of my room thank you very much.  And, it’s not just me he’s doing stuff with.  Hemi, one of the purr things here, woke up the day before with that little creature asleep on his back.  Hemi hissed to the high heavens and swatted at it with his big paw.

And, our friends – snorts.  They are going through the same thing this time of the year with their ‘magical’ elves.  One of dad’s buddies got up one morning, stumbled to the bathroom and took a shower.  When he looked up, their little voyeur elf was watching him over the shower curtain.  Talk about a psycho moment.

The same household as the shower episode, the next day the man’s wife found their little elf in her lingerie drawer.  WTP (what the pig!)  No wonder people walk on eggshells around the holidays with these little monsters running rampid.

So tell me, do you have a mischievous little elf in your house during the holidays?  Is he getting into trouble or is he behaving (which I would find very strange).  I’m thinking that all of these elves are cloned in the same factory of trouble.  Perhaps us anipals need to ban together and write a letter to the Elf Union.  These guys are trouble – I’m telling you TROUBLE.