All was quite throughout the house until mom spotted the freak Don Juan on a shelf with what? Another collectible Barbie. That elf is so disgusting. Daddy – don’t get any ideas – snorts with piggy laughter!
Tag Archives: nasty
I want to start by saying that I live in the south right here in good old Georgia, about 20-25 miles from Atlanta. Winter months are not usually that bad for us. We may get cold but nothing drastic. Some years, we can even still wear shorts and sandles in so called winter months. This year though, Mother Nature has been playing games with us and not in a good way. Shame on her – bad Mother Nature.
A couple of weeks back, I got to see my first snow. Yep, I said first snow. You see, I’m only two years old and up until that point, this has been a no snow zone here in the south. Then, the weather people called for snow. We were hesistant in believing that it might actually happen. In the past, the weather people have yelled snow and then we ended up with nothing. You know, kind of like the Fairy tale about the boy yelling wolf for nothing.
But this time, the weather people were right. It did snow. We got maybe two inches – three inches max in some places. And remember I said we lived in the south. Well that 2-3 inches literally shut us down. In the south, we can’t deal with snow… or ice… or really cold for that matter. Our highways looked like parking lots with abandoned cars. Heck, mom’s worked even closed down for non-essential personnel for two days. I wasn’t upset. A – I’ll take mommy at home any day with me. And B – we all bundled up, watched television and ate like there was no tomorrow. It was great for this little oinker.
Then almost a week later, the weather people on television went a little bizarre. They kept reporting that we were going to have a storm that could be catastrophic. What? Do you know I had to look up the meaning to that word. The dictionary says it means: “Involving or causing sudden great damage or suffering” Really? Surely you joke Mr. Meterologist. It can’t be that bad. Right? Suffering and all – Mother Nature you wouldn’t, would you?
So mom goes to work last Tuesday and around noon she gets word that her office is again going to be closed Wednesday and Thursday due to the inclimate weather. She looked outside and it was beautiful. Not bad really for winter. But she was all for it. Heck, she considered herself lucky because she was already scheduled to be off Friday. We were all excited knowing mom was going to be home for FIVE days with us. Joybells.
The next morning, we all woke up early for some reason. There was a sound that woke us but none of us could figure out what it was for a few minutes. Then, we realized what it was. Around 8:30AM, our power went off. Uh-oh, this can’t be good. But hey, it’s gone off before so it’ll be back on soon. It happens. We’ll give it an hour tops.
Mom looked out the back door into my magical backyard and saw this in the picture to the left. It makes me shiver just looking at it and remembering. It was C.O.L.D. And no, I didn’t want to go outside and play in. Shakes piggy head forcefully. I learned a valuable lesson the last time with the snow. I don’t like it. It’s pure and simple. And this, this was snow mixed mainly with ice. Yuck. So mom thought heck if this is what the backyard looks like, what in the world does the frontyard look like? I’m glad you asked because mom took pictures there too.
Just looking out the front door, what caught mom’s attention right off were these lovely icicles. Notice how long they were. Notice the tree that looks like it’s leaning like the Tower of Pisa. Notice the ice/snow wonderland? Rolls piggy eyes. Wonderland – snorts. This can’t be good.
I looked at mom and oinked. I had too. My miniature pot belly tummy was rumbling. What? I’m a pig. It’s what I do and I hadn’t had breakfast yet. I looked at mom and snouted her ankle. She looked at me and said, “Bacon, this is not going to turn out good. Mark my words little piggy.”
I had no idea what she was talking about. I just wanted my morning breakfast followed by a little television and a little snuggling.
So mom finally got the drift after taking this last picture of icemageddon take two out front of the Hotel Thompson. Also by this time, dad had emerged from the bedroom and thankfully his belly was hungry too. He looked at mom and asked her what was for breakfast. I learned something new this date. No power means no homemade spinach omelet for me which mom sometimes makes for me on her off days. No power also means no lights.
But mom, she has skills. She went into the kitchen with her little lantern and whipped up an amazing breakfast of tuna fish sandwiches with chopped up green olives and spicy pickles. And no, she’s not pregnant – snorts. That’s how mom rolls and fixes our tuna sandwiches. And let me say, it was delicious. Chef Emeril Lagasse would have been so proud of mom and her creation of breakfast. She gave me and the purr things, Hemi and Mouse Girl, little plates as well. It was most excellent. Also no power means not being able to see to wash dishes but she did well.
Do you know what else no power means? No television. No cable. No internet. Now we are talking about hard times. Do you know what else makes it worse? No heat. If I wanted all of this, I would live in a barn somewhere on a farm. I’m not that type of pig. I have a certain quality of life that I have grown accustomed to – stomps hooves.
So, we sat in the front room and did something the old fashioned way. We talked. Without emails, without texts, without telephones – just talked. That lasted for all about ten minutes – Snorts. It was starting to get cold so I jumped on the sofa with mom. I was fine there with mom but she got cold. So she threw the two purr things on the couch with us for extra heat. I told you mom was smart. So there we were all bundled together wrapped in blankets. We fell asleep. What? What else was there to do? We all had full bellies. It was kind of a competition at that point to see who could snore the loudest. I think daddy beat me. Yep, that was it and I’m sticking to that comment.
We all woke up a bit later hoping that the power would be back on but it wasn’t. I can’t explain to you what a disappointment that was to us. The temperature was dropping fast in the Hotel Thompson. We snacked on Cheez-Its for lunch. Again no power afterwards. We all went back to sleep. What else was there to do, right?
A bit more time passed and we woke up again. By this time, mom was beginning to feel like an icicle straight from outside. Maybe it was just knowing that you didn’t have heat that you thought it was getting colder? I’m not sure. Mom went and put on her Sock Monkey onesie. I do believe that was the only thing that saved her during this power outage. She finally got warm. I would like to say the same. This little piggy was cold. Shivering cold. So mom did what she knows best. She wrapped me up in a blanket and carried me to the big bed with her. Even daddy was complaining about his ‘piggies’ being cold. He actually had to put hoof covers on his piggies… you know a pair of mom’s socks – snorts.
Do you know it dropped well below 50 degrees in the Hotel Thompson. The power didn’t come back on until around 7:30PM that night. By that time, all we wanted was HEAT. BBRRR. We all called it a night, turned on the heat to the Select Comfort and we all slept together in the big bed. In order for me not to steal dad’s blankets, he gave me my own blanket. Good move daddy. He’s finally learning.
The next day on Thursday, the roads were a little better. Mom and dad went out for a bit and they saw something that I’ve been telling you about. We have a Bigfoot in this area… okay so he looks a lot like the Abominable Snowman from Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer but we have proof. Snorts – it’s a great picture nevertheless. Talk about photobombing – double snorts.
The power was back on at the Hotel Thompson and that was fantastic. On the other hoof though, the cable was out. What’s a piggy to do? Thankfully, we had internet so mom accessed Netflix and we watched Investigative Discovery shows all day. Nothing like watching murder and mayhem on a cold snowed in day, right? I like to extend a special shout out to my Aunt Tina for access to Netflix. At least this little oinker didn’t die of boredom without his cable television.
So all of this icemageddon started melting today on Thursday. It was almost like it was raining it was melting so fast. Mother Nature wouldn’t be that cruel to cause us a flood as an aftermath – nah. She wouldn’t do that.
This brings us to Friday. The day of love. It was a wonderful day. Mom and dad had their special date. Rockelle and Benedict had their special date. All was going great this day. What could possibly go wrong?
That night, dad leaned over and kissed mom in the front room. At about that time, the house shook. It wasn’t a huge rumble but it was enough to feel. Mom asked daddy if he felt that. He said quote, “After 26 years, I still rock your world huh?” Nice try daddy.
It was an earthquake. Really Mother Nature. It wasn’t bad enough with snow, with ice, with no power, with limited food and with no cable. You had to throw in an earthquake in South Carolina that was felt all the way here in Georgia? I gotta say it. “Go.to.your.room.” If mom makes me serve the time for the crime, then I think you should too. Sounds fair, right?
But you know, I’ve learned that Mother Nature just doesn’t play nice. After all of the icky weather in late January and February, this is our forecast for the week. Notice the temperatures here in so called winter – 63, 65, 69 and 71 degrees. Pull out your bathing suits and hit the beach my friends.
Cold – hot – do you think Mother Nature is going through ‘the change’? Perhaps that explains our weird weather lately here in Georgia? Can I send you a bottle of Midol to help you out? Some ice cream? Some chocolate? A spa treatment perhaps?
I can’t think of anything else it might be. You?