Diary of Dominance Training

 

You know how they say that pigs can be stubborn and ‘pig-headed’?  Well, that about sums me up.  I know – I’m trying.  I really am trying.  It’s like my alter ego, Deviled Ham, comes out at times when I least expect it.  Mom/Dad are not quitters and they are hanging in there.  Here’s the update on dominance training.

Tuesday, 04/29/2013 – Dominance training actually started this evening. It is something that I’m not used to.  Dad has said the “NO” word very firmly, very southern might I add – snort giggles.  It does make me stop in my hooves and rethink my surroundings before Deviled Ham shows up.  When I was on the couch with mom, dad came over several times to see me.  The first time, I went all pig ballistic on him.  He put me in my place with the southern firm “NO” and petted my little head.  After about the third attempt, I never grunted or barked and allowed dad to pet me.

Wednesday, 04/30/2013 – After my morning snack when I was going back to my room, Deviled Ham came out from no where and I jumped dad in the hallway.  Bad move.  The rest of the day, I was fine.  Again, when I was on the couch with mom, dad came over several times to see me.  The first time, I again barked and growled but not as bad as the night before.  The second time he came over, it was just a small grumble when he pet me.  After that, I never grunted or barked and allowed dad to pet me as long as he wanted.

Thursday, 5/1/2013 – Well, you know how they say the third time is the charm?  Snort – not so much in this case.  I lost my piggy mind tonight.  I was good all day long with dad.  I never gave him a moment’s trouble while it was me and him at the Hotel Thompson.  That night, daddy and mommy went out to dinner.  When they came back, my rebellious teenager Deviled Ham made an appearance.  I tried to attack daddy.  Mom thought it was those god forsaken orange shorts he wears because they were so bright – snort.  It wasn’t.  My hoove nipped him on the knee cap, not bad.  His southern “NO” really did nothing for me.  Mommy had to be the firm one.  Instead of minding her, what did I do?  Rebellious teenager Deviled Ham tried to go after her.  Drops and shakes my piggy head.  I was bad.  Mom sent me to my room which I minded.  No bedtime snack.  No bedtime story.  No night time snuggles.  Mommy said it hurt her more than it was hurting me.  I’m not so sure.  You see, this is the one thing that piggies have a hard time with – being ignored.  She ignored me the rest of the night.  That’s tough on this little guy. And, I think I made mommy cry.  I could hear her and daddy in their room.  Mommy wouldn’t even let Bashful sleep with me last night.  I was all by myself and had all night to rethink my rebellious ways.  It was a long night.

Friday, 5/2/2013 – This morning I got mommy up to get ready for the worky place and breakfast.  It was a new day with new ways.  Mommy fixed me breakfast and I just wagged my tail so fast when she was talking to me about last night.  We had our little prayer meeting and she put me back to bed for my morning nap.  Today, I am really, REALLY going to try to be good.  Wish me luck and think of me.  Mommy says that this weekend there will be lots of training.  I’m game. 

 

Mom – The Other White Meat

I made a big HUGE mistake a couple of days ago.
I’ve spent the past days reflecting and trying to make it up to mommy. I can’t tell her I’m sorry enough. It was an accident and she does believe that. She knows that I would absolutely not hurt her or anyone else in any way. And we’ve talked about it and she told me there was nothing to forgive. It was an accident all the way and she couldn’t be mad at the cutest little piggy in the world. That’s how I can tell she wasn’t mad – she’s been calling me that since she adopted me 🙂 When she calls me that, everything is right in the world, you know?

You see last Friday morning started like any other. I got up and mom fixed me my Cheerios and piggy chow. After I ate, I jumped on the sofa and we snuggled together watching the morning news. And then it was time for her to get ready for the worky place. This is where uh-oh took place. 😦

Mom *always* gives me a couple of animal crackers before I go back to bed in my room for my morning nap. She hand fed me one while I was on the couch and everything was fine. The second one she hand fed me, I kind of sort of nipped her thumb.

I’m not sure who was more surprised, mom and me. I know it as soon as I did it. To her defense, she didn’t make a big fuss over it, she didn’t yell or get mad at me or anything. She patted my head with her other hand and said, “Let’s go to bed Bacon.” Of course, I being the obedient pig I am went down the hall and went to bed.

That’s when I heard it. Mom told dad she had an ouchie. I could hear them through my bedroom door talking in the bathroom. Mom thought I just nipped her on the front part of her nail on her right thumb. What she didn’t realize until she was in the bathroom with daddy was that I actually got her on the back of the thumb too. That was the big boo boo. Daddy said he couldn’t kiss it enough to make it better. I felt so bad!  Daddy put a bandaid on her thumb and doctored mom up sending her off tot he worky place.

I know people don’t think we have teeth but we do. And where I’ve been losing my baby teeth and regrowing my new ones, they are sharp and edgy. Again, I didn’t mean to do it. And of course, mom didn’t mean to put her finger in my mouth. It just kind of happened and it was really quick.

Daddy doctored up mommy and she’s fine now. It is almost healed. A little tender still at times but nothing like it was when it happened. She had a sore hoove for a while but now it’s like it never happened. That’s a good thing, right?

 

Mom, I’m Ready for My Close Up

Mom has been pretty cool in letting me decide when I’m ready for bed lately.  I guess it started with the holidays.  She was off several days from the worky place which got my piggy schedule off a little.  Believe me though, I took full advantage of our mommy/piggy time.  I’m sure that we will get back into our normal routine soon.  I need that… really I do.

Last night after dinner, I snuggled with mom on the couch for a long time.  We were watching television together, some of her favorite Wednesday shows.  (Mom’s going to have to get a picture of me watching television for you).   I started yawning and mom told me to go get ready for bed.  I jumped down off of the couch, went to my bedroom to get ready for bed and still no mom.  I came back to the living room and she was still on the couch watching her show.  I walked over to her and she took this picture of me.  I was like mom come on, you told me to go get ready for bed.  Usually when she tells me this, she also gets ready for bed.

Don’t think I can’t put myself to bed.  I can.  It’s just that I have a little routine that I’ve grown accustomed to at the Hotel Thompson.  I kept taking my snout and rubbing it against mom’s legs and she finally got the message I was ready for bedtime.  I can’t believe she couldn’t tell from my droopy eyes and staggered walk that I was sleepy.  Sometimes humans are so dense! 

Finally mom got my bankie in the picture and we walked down to my bedroom.  Mom walked in first while I closed the door and sat in front of it.  I watched her walk around the room putting my toys up and putting my bankies on the floor.  See, mom plays this little game at night that she doesn’t think I notice when she’s doing it but I do.  While she is picking up my toys and putting them in my toy box and putting my bankies down, she’s also hiding treats for me to find during the middle of the night.  Isn’t that freaking fantastic – Mom thinks of everything!  So that way, when I wake up in the middle of the night, I can root around and find my special treats.  They are usually animal crackers, frosted mini wheats, pretzels or carrots.  I absolutely love it!

So mom got finished and sat down on the floor on my bankie.  I walked over to her and climbed in her lap.  Yes, I still waddle in her lap – it’s a piggy thing.  She then either tells me a story, sings me a song or we watch a short cartoon together.  Last night, she told me the story about the Three Little Pigs again.  I love that story!  When she got finished she told me to snuggle in my bankies.  I got up and walked over to the door instead.  Mom told me to move and bed down but I wouldn’t budge.  I wasn’t ready for mommy to leave me.  I kept sitting in front of the door ‘talking’ to her by making different sounds. 

She finally started laughing and said okay.  She sat back down and patted my bankie.  I walked over to it and she wrapped me up in it – the original piggy in a bankie – snort LOL.  She then rubbed my back, my snout and talked softly to me until she saw me drift off.  She then turned the big light off, turned on my piggy night light and left me in my sanctuary to dream about fun things. 

See the bedtime routine at the Hotel Thompson is a must have!  They have exceptional turn down service!

 

Food for the Little Man

Well, let’s fly into the new year of 2013 – are you ready? I know I am. Mom was off of the worky place yesterday and I enjoyed it all day long! Of course, my little schedule is out of whack with her being off in the middle of the week but I’m not complaining. When mom is off, Bacon gets further spoiled 🙂

I let mom sleep in yesterday morning. I figured we were both up late the night before watching fireworks and we both needed our beauty sleep. Someone has to take care of mommy. When we finally got up, mom made magic in the kitchen. I love mornings like this. I got to try blueberries! She made blueberry pancakes – one of my new favorites. Something was oddly familiar with my pancake though. I couldn’t quite put my snout on it. And she used my favorite Sesame Street plate. The morning was starting off just pigawesome for me! Even dad oohhed and aawweedd about the blueberry pancakes. He said that he hasn’t had them in over 10 years! WOW – dad where have you been? These are the bestest!

Mom tinkered around in the kitchen afterwards cleaning up and putting dinner in the oven. I’m not sure what people food she was preparing but it really smelled the house up in a good way. I kept going around sniffing the air all day trying to figure out what it was. I was in pig heaven!

For lunch, mom fixed me piggy chow and a fried egg! Did I mention that I like when mommy is home? She actually cooks for me. That’s why I love her so much. Just about as much as fried eggs and piggy chow. I ate my lunch, did a few laps around the house playing with Hemi and then jumped on the sofa with mom for some snuggle time. She was on her computer doing some writing and in between thought moments, she would rub my little belly – don’t laugh I know it’s not little – snort. We only got up one time to get water and potty. Other than that, it was mommy/piggy bonding time.

Before I knew it, mom was waking me up for dinner. Where did the time go? Now, this is where mom is creative. I always get a salad with my piggy pellets at night. It’s something that’s always on my menu. But mom goes that extra little step and makes it special. This is my nightly salad from mom. Looks good doesn’t it? And of course it’s in my piggy plate. It has all of my favorites – piggy chow, lettuce, cherry tomatoes, carrots and grapes.

After I ate dinner, I went to my room for my piggy meditation time. I really need this time every day to relax and reflect on the days activities. During this time, I let mom and dad eat dinner in peace. Again, their food sure did smell good. And, I’ll tell you a secret. I know mom fixed black-eyed peas with rice because she let me try some 🙂 Even I need to start the year out eating the traditional foods!

After mom and dad got finished and I was done with my meditation, I went into the kitchen and supervised mom cleaning up the dishes. Dad was in the kitchen as well and he started you know play picking on mom. Mom jokingly said, “Bacon, daddy is picking on me. Get him.” Well, I did what she said. I went over to dad, stomped on his foot with my hoove and snouted his ankle. Hey, I gotta protect my mom. Mom thought it was funny. She praised me and gave me a treat. Dad on the other hand was fussy but in a fun way. He couldn’t believe that I protected mommy like that. It’s what I do. He should know that by now. Most people have protect dogs. Mom has a protect pig – snort bark! LOL

We all went into the front room after the cleaning was done. Dad played with me a while before I jumped on the couch with mommy. We then watched this show on television called Finding Bigfoot. That is a cool show! I love Cliff Barackman, James “Bobo” Fay, Ranae Holland and Matt Moneymaker. They belong to this group called the Bigfoot Field Researchers Organization and they look for the infamous Bigfoot every where that you can imagine. Their calls for bigfoot, what a hoot! I think my favorite one to make calls is Ranae. She is hysterical. I also like it when they say they hear or something is ‘squatchy’. I just snort my little tail off when they do that! I try to watch this show every week with mom.

Mom even popped some popcorn for us to snack on during the shows. And of course, after popcorn it was my bedtime. It was a week day and mom had to go back to the worky place the next day. I’ll miss her today.

Hope everyone has a great day!

Hogs and Kisses – Bacon

 

Weekend Entertainment – Mom’s in the Pictures For a Change – YAY!

Friends, meet mom – YAY!  I know a lot of people ask about her and what she looks like.  It takes a special woman to have me… and to put up with me – snort. 

We did a LOT of mommy/piggy bonding this weekend.  My Aunt Tina came home for a visit from Louisiana and she came down to see me.  She took these wonderful pictures of me and mommy.  Mom takes all of my pictures and it’s kind of hard to get her in the picture when she’s taking the picture.  Know what I mean?  Well, Aunt Tina took these pictures during her visit. 

Mom was talking to me in this picture.  I was so intently listening because you know, she’s my mom and everything.  I was so into this conversation that the next picture will absolutely blow your mind. 

See, I you that it would blow your mind.  I walked over and kissed mom with my snout.  See, I love my mommy.  And, this is a great picture of me and my short little body.  Great picture huh?  I thought it was one of those special Hallmark card kind of pictures.  So touching.  So loving.  A pig and his adopted mom – snort.

You do realize that there has to be a story behind this picture, right?  I’m not that easy.  I can be trained and I did learn a new trick this date that took me only about ten minutes.  You’re asking what the trick was.  Of course, to kiss mommy.  And how was I trained to kiss mommy?  Smile – this is going to make you laugh and smile.  Are you ready for it?

 

After a couple of attempts of doing this, exactly who was training who?  I was getting fed by mommy so who was tricking who.  Mom would put carrots in her mouth and lean over.  I would walk over and gently take them out of her mouth.  Yep, gently take them out of her mouth.  She is my mom.  I have to treat her special like.

After about 8 or 10 times of doing this, I caught on – wink wink.  I really caught on after the first time but with free food out like that I’m going to take whatever I can take – snort. 

See, I told you my kind was very smart.  We catch on like you wouldn’t believe.  And as you can see from these pictures, I’m not really that big.

Hogs and Kisses – Bacon

 

Oops – Did *I* Do That?!

The weekend didn’t start off very well.  Remember when I told you that mom and dad have been giving me a little bit more freedom?  I get to run and play in my room at different times during the day.  I’m not “required” to take as many naps because I’m getting to be a big boy.  Friday night, mom came home and went into my room to pick up my toys and clean up like she normally does.  When I tell you she screeched, I’m not lying.  It’s like the sounds that I make and she knows what they mean.  I knew exactly what that screech was.  I was in BIG trouble.  Mom didn’t feel too good Friday night and that might have been what saved me a little too.

See, I was playing in my room Friday.  Just wondering and rolling around on the floor.  I started picking at the tile and pulled some of it up.  It was really sticky so I didn’t do much.  In fact, I got some of that really sticky glue on my snout.  I tried to hide it by pulling one of my bankies over it.  It didn’t work.  Mom found it and trust me did we ever have a prayer meeting. 

I learned a couple of things Friday night.  First of all, with becoming older you get more responsibilities.  Don’t grow up too fast.  Enjoy that child hood as long as you can.  Second of all, if you do bad, there’s going to be consequences.  You do the crime, you pay the time.  I’m on television restriction in my room for a while.  Third of all, it’s always better to fess up then to hide it up.  Take it from me folks – just don’t do it.  It’s not worth it being on my mom’s bad side.  I usually stay up late on Friday nights.  I got grounded this past Friday… no late night teleivision, no late night treat, no late night loving.  And, mom had to get the glue off of my snout.  That wasn’t fun. 

 

He’s Not The Momma

I’m on a pretty good schedule at the Hotel Thompson.  I usually go to bed at the same time every night.  There’s a certain routine that I’ve gotten accustomed to doing nightly. 

Last night, the lights kept flickering on and off in our neighborhood.  I’m not sure if it was the storm passing through or if something was wrong with our grid.  I had been running up and down the hallway playing in the dark.  Which, mom doesn’t usually mind but without the lights on she thought I would hurt myself.  She told me to find a place and settle so I did in the front room on the floor.

It got close to bed time so mom asked dad to put me down for the night.  He told me to go to bed.  He really did.  But did I listen?  Of course not.  Why not you ask?  Because he’s not the momma.  I know that was the wrong answer and I really should have listened.  But, I wasn’t ready to go.  If momma didn’t take me, I felt like I was being cheated.  He persisted for a few minutes and finally told her that I wasn’t listening.  Gee, thanks dad for throwing me under the bus.  😦

Of course, momma told me to quit playing and go potty.  So, I wobbled down the hall and went to potty.  By the time I was done with that, mommy was in my room.  See, that’s all I asked for.  My normal routine.  I just wanted the momma. 🙂

She came in and cleaned up after me and picked up all of my toys in my bedroom.  She told me to get in bed and I did.  She pulled up my blankie, rubbed my back, gave me a snack and talked to me for a few minutes.  Her voice just soothes me to sleep.  Before I knew it, I was out like a light.  It was a long day and I played hard this evening.

After momma puts me to bed, she does a few things around the house getting ready for the worky place the next day. 

 

After she’s done, she *always* comes back in my room and checks on me to make sure I’m asleep.  Last night was no different.  I was still counting sheep.  She pulled the blankie up around me and told me softly good night.

Isn’t she the best?  You gotta love the mommy.

 

 

 

There Are Some Days…

There are some days that you just don’t want to get up.  You do for the food.  You do for the potty.  But after that, you just want to crawl back to bed, get comfy and go to dream world.

This morning was one of those days.  I got mom up for breakfast.  That was my civic duty during the week.  I always get her up for the worky place.  Sometimes the earlier I get her up the more time I have for snuggle time with her before she leaves – wink.

This morning I ate and went to potty.  Then I crawled up on mom and snuggled down.  She is *so* warm.  I put my snout on her legs to warm it up and use the other part of her leg as my pillow.  She usually wraps a blankie around us as well but she wanted to take this picture.  When it was time for her to go to the worky place, she tried to wake me up.  Every time she tried, I would push my head down harder because I didn’t want to move.  She just laughed 🙂  and she would give me a few more minutes to sleep while rubbing my back.  This piglet knows when he has it made!

Finally, she said she had to go get ready for the worky place.  I reluctantly got down, stretched and wobbled to my room.  I waited for mom to make my bed and get it all comfy looking.  Afterwards, I crawled in and she pulled the blankies up to my head tucking me in.  She kissed me good night and I went back to sleep.  Life is so hard being a pig!  🙂

 

In the Morning, I’m…

 

You finish the sentence for yourself.  What would you say?  In the morning, I’m __________.  Are you cranky?  Are you snuggly?  Are you sleepy or any of the other seven dwarfs? 

I suppose I’m several things. 

First, In the morning, I’m mom’s alarm clock.  I wake up and make little chirpy noises and I snort.  I snort LOUD to wake mom up.  Did you know that she hasn’t had to set an alarm in over a year because of my kind nature in waking her up?  Amazing isn’t it?  A real live alarm clock.  I know you want one too.

Second, In the mornings I’m hungry.  Oh yeah – news flash there huh?  Don’t laugh.  Stop.  I can see you laughing – LOL.  I gotta have my piggy chow and cheerios.  After that, my hunger is gone for at least a little while. 

Then, In the morning, I’m snuggly cuddly.  Momma says so.  I jump on the sofa with mom, curl up next to her legs and she wraps us in our blankie.  We watch the morning news together.  Okay, well I usually fall back to sleep with mom stroking my back but I’m still snuggy.

Fourth of all, before mom goes to the worky place, in the mornings, I’m doing the piggy potty dance.  I’m sure you can relate to the human potty dance.  I run to my potty patch and take care of my business.  Afterwards, mom puts me in bed, kisses me good day and I crash for a couple of hours.

So, you tell me – In the mornings, I’m ____ ?

 

 

There’s No Room

Most times in the afternoons and on the weekends you will find me all cozy next to my mommy on our sofa watching television.  It’s our time for mommy piggy bonding.  This weekend, it was no different. 

Shaking head.  Sweet daddy just doesn’t have a clue about boundaries though.  I had to teach him this weekend.  Let me explain the set up for you.  In our front room, there are two couches, a big one that daddy sits on and a smaller one that me and mommy inhabit.

This weekend, daddy thought he would try and sit on our sofa with me and mommy.  I did a double take.  I mean come on dad, you’re moving in on my territory… please recognize. Snort giggles. 

 

I barked at him.  He didn’t get the message. 

I snorted at him.  He didn’t get the message. 

I even growled at him.  He still didn’t get the message. 

This led me to my last resort. 

I took my powerful snout and starting to push daddy off my couch.  I know – it was a last resort.  He didn’t get any of my earlier messages so a pig had to do what a pig had to do.  He chuckled and got the message.  He left my territory and went back to his playpen.  I snuggled back up to my mommy, got comfortable, smiled and went back to sleep.  Our couch is not big enough for the daddy, just us.  He has to learn his boundaries.  LOL