I hate Don Juan. There you go. That elf needs to be stopped NOW… like yesterday. He is evil pure and simple. I woke up this morning all bright eyed and bushy tailed. I stretched my hooves, yawned and tooted. What? You don’t do that in the mornings? I then rolled over to look at my picture of Miss Piggy on my night stand and got the shock of my little piggy life. My Miss Piggy picture was gone and in it’s place was this hideous, nightmarish joke from Don Juan. I squealed so loudly that I think Nana heard me all the way up the street. The nerve of this so called elf for Santa. I’m writing the head elf of the Union. This can’t go on anymore. Shivers and looks in every corner of my bedroom.
Tag Archives: Miss Piggy
Who says that the natural order of things in nature have to be that we don’t get along? My name is Gull and this is my close pal Gator. We’re like two peas in a pod. We often play in the water like this. Gator protects me from other things in the water and we have fun. Can you believe that it actually blows peoples minds when they see us like this? Signed Born to be Different
Dear Born to be Different,
Hey my friends. I think that is absolutely wonderful to have that kind of friendship. I’m sure the other animals in the water look at you like a two piece snack from KFC but as long Gator is there to protect you – awesomesauce!
The humans. They will pay for this get up. I feel totally ridiculous. The nerve to dress me up as some kind of twisted frog. I think the look on my face tells you everything you need to know. Do you have any ideas on how I can get the humans back? Signed Feeling Froggy
Dear Feeling Froggy,
WOW! Now that is some sort of predicament my friend. I feel you 100%. Your humans really did have some nerve in dressing you like a Kermit want to be. I don’t know whether to laugh or cry with you on that get up. As far as pay back – evil piggy snorts. The humans they do have to sleep at some point. I’m sure you can think of so many different ways to bring down the wrath of Froggy upon them. Just act innocent in whatever you decide.
P.S. Can I borrow that outfit for Halloween? Maybe I can snatch Miss Piggy with it.
Talk about animal labor laws. I often read about your life at the Hotel Thompson and how they make you ‘work for your food’ in a way. Never complain again my friend. My humans put me to work out in nature in concrete. It’s a hard and tedious job… especially in this get up. Help me please. Signed Mason
Oh snap. Your humans weren’t playing any games were they my friend? Bless your little heart. Not only did they dress you but you have to wear those indestructible contruction boots. Shakes piggy head. I’m so sorry pal. I will *never* again complain about having to bring my dirty stuff to the laundry room. Ever.
P.S. Dad needs some help expanding the driveway. When you get done with that project, can you help a human out?
What? Haven’t you ever seen a hamster with his lady working the pole? Blonde is one of the best pole dancers out there. I suggest this kind of get up for your bedroom pig. You might get some girlfriends then. HA! Signed Boris
OMP (oh my pig!) My eyes! What has been seen can not be unseen. We really don’t need to see this my friend. Although daddy was interested in that pole action, me and mom are not – snorts. Ya’ll carry on in the privacy of your bedroom. And don’t worry about me and girlfriends. I have one 🙂
*Remember friends – keep your pictures and questions coming. Send them to me at email@example.com
Dear Miss Piggy,
I am the right oinker for you. I bet you didn’t know that Kermit was sighted out on the town having a big night without you. He gave Miley Cyrus a run for her money – that’s for sure! Any time you are willing to date and meet a real piggy that will worship your hooves, I’ll be waiting here for you my love. Love, Bacon
P.S. I’m attaching the
evidence picture of Kermit’s night out for your review. What is he going to try next? Twerkin? PLOL (Piggy laughing out loud).
P.S.S. If he tries twerkin, I can beat him at that too. I’ve been practicing.
It’s finally here – 2014! Time for a new year. Time for a clean slate. Time to let by-gones be by-gones and start out on a fresh start. We stayed up last night at the Hotel Thompson and watched the ball drop on the television, watched the fireworks from the front porch and popped open some bubbly. Don’t tell anyone but mom let me have a sip. Those bubbles tickled my snout – snorts. And as the clock struck midnight, I saw daddy give mommy a huge kiss on the lips. It was like something out of the 60’s movies that we like to watch. He swooped her back, told her he loved her and gave her a huge one. I drew the line when he wanted to do that to me. I just let him shake my hoof.
Every where you are in the world, there are ‘special’ traditions that cultures do for New Years. Here in Georgia, it’s a tradition that for dinner we eat black-eyed peas and turnip greens. It’s a superstition that these items bring good luck and prosperity for the new year. Supposedly, the peas represent copper and the greens represent dollars. The more you eat, the more prosperity you will have. Other places in the south substitute the turnip greens for cabbage. Either way – I love them all 🙂
Now for 2014 Resolutions. This is going to be *THE* year. I just feel it in my miniature pot belly!
- I’m determined to help mom/dad on their new way of eating. Notice I didn’t say the “D” word. It is a life time change. Baby steps you know. I made mom get on the scales this morning. They laughed at her. I don’t think that is a good sign.
- I’m determined to get some fan mail from my personal idols. Miss Piggy is tops on the list. I need to let her know that I’m alive and here for her. Second on the list is my good friend Maxwell. You know him from the Geico commercials.
- I’m determined to be more positive, write more and keep my friends in blogville laughing.
- I’m determined to get more organized. Yeah, this is a toughie. I’m not shall we say a organized piggy – I’m all hooves. But I will try in the new year.
- I’m determined to be nicer to the purr things here at the Hotel Thompson. Okay, we all know that Hemi rules the hotel here but I’m talking about Mouse Girl. I promise not to start something if she doesn’t start something. That sounds fair, right?
All my friends – I wish you all the happiness and prosperity for your New Year. May 2014 bring you everything you wish and desire.
Bacon, Hemi, Mouse Girl, Bashful and the Rock Clan, Journalist Rocky the Squirrel, Mom and Dad
From the Hotel Thompson – much love!!
Oh, and I couldn’t get away without giving all of ya’ll a kiss from the piggy!
The piggy of my dreams has a new movie coming out next year on March 21, 2014. I’m sorry mom/dad. You are just going to *have* to take me to the movies to see it when it debuts. I’m thinking if we call ahead and make arrangements with the local theater, they will allow me in for the show. Heck, I’ll start saving my money in my human bank until then to pay for my ticket.
Miss Piggy – the pig of my dreams – swoon! Her new movie is called Muppets Most Wanted. This movie is about the Muppets going on a global tour in Europe. Somehow they find themselves entangled in a crime caper headed by Constantine – who is a dead ringer for Kermit. Oh the atrocity! Personally, they can have Kermit as long as I get the pig – Miss Piggy that is 🙂 But, it’s not fair of me to wish the frog harm so I won’t. Taps hooves… thinks for a minute… asks for forgiveness… but I am the better pig – snorts.
So, here’s the preview for the new movie my sweet will be in. Enjoy. And Muppet peeps if you are listening, Miss Piggy needs more airtime please. She is the *star* of the movie in my eyes. Thank you.
I’ve done a lot of reserch lately on my kind. I’ve come across what I believe are the top 6 most famous pigs. I wonder if you recognize any of them? Let’s go down memory lane to see if you know at least one 🙂
NUMBER 6 – WILBUR
Everyone remembers this wonderful story from child hood. Saved from the slaughter house – shivers – by Fern, Wilbur grows from the runt of the litter to a prize winning pig.
Sounds kind of familiar with myself since once upon a time, I was a little runt as well. I like to think I’ve done good for myself. This story also has a fabulous looking spider named Charlotte in the novel.
She almost makes you think spiders are cute and adorable, you know.
NUMBER 5 – BABE
All Babe wanted to do was be a sheep dog so what did he do? He trained himself to herd sheep. That makes sense, doesn’t it? No one believed in him that he would succeed but he persevered.
He learned the secret language of sheep and his success and being a sheep pig was secured!
This movie is wonderful and very touching – makes you fall so deeply in love with this special oinker!
NUMBER 4 – MISS PIGGY
The piggy of my dreams – swoon! She is a blue eyed bombshell, all sweet and girlish on one side and on the other side ready to karate chop herself to the top.
What is there not to love about this gorgeous pig?!
When will she ever learn that the green Kermit is not for her and she should just come and live with me at the Hotel Thompson? We could make an awesome – wonderful team together!
NUMBER 3 – ARNOLD ZIFFEL
I’ve been watching this pig for a while now on Green Acres – he is right up there with my friend Maxwell. I love that he lives in Hooterville and does all of the things I like to do – watching TV and changing the channels, taking his lunch box in his mouth to school and painting pictures.
He was a little human pig… just like me! 🙂
Who would have ever thought I was a pig in training from Arnold?!
NUMBER 2 – PORKY PIG
“Th-th-th-that’s all folks!” This is one of my favorite cartoons to watch on my television in my bedroom at the Hotel Thompson. He has stuttered his way into my heart and home.
I think I have several DVD’s of his cartoons that I like to watch at night when I’m falling off to sleep. He’s great! He can carry his own show and be a side character. I just love this cartoon!
And, are you ready for the number 1 pig as a famous pig?
NUMBER 1 – ME OF COURSE!!
Did you honestly think I would pick anyone else? Snort chuckles.
I like to think that I’m famous. Maybe not anywhere else but here with my friends that I simple love and adore!
Thanks for going down memory lane with me.
XOXO – Bacon
I’m not sure what mom is up to but can you believe she is already looking for Halloween costumes? She said that she doesn’t want to wait until the last moment like she does every year… and hopefully things will be in stock to get the costumes that she wants for all of us. You know my mom. When she’s on a mission, she doesn’t stop!
She’s come up with a great idea for her and dad. It’s a real gut buster. I have to admit it was clever and original. When she showed them to me, I laughed all over the front room. It was so funny. Dad wasn’t doing much laughing but he did admit that it was very, very original.
Of course, the idea of mom dressed up like Miss Piggy is freaking hilarious! I think she can pull it off.
With this incredible, brilliant mind set of what mom came up for them, I knew my costume would be out of this world. I just couldn’t wait to see it. Then mom showed it to me. Shut the front door! Really? Mom, I don’t get it. I’ll do it but I just don’t get it. She said it had several meanings if you really knew us but still I’m at a lost for words.
Use your imagination and picture the below costume minus the dog on me… a pig. If you laugh, you have to explain it to me. Confused.
Well it’s been a little over a month since I wrote my fan letter to Miss Piggy. I’m not giving up. I know in my heart that one day I will get something from that lovely Goddess.
While surfing the next last night, I found the perfect picture of Kermit. I thought it was really funny. I think mom can create the same thing in the kitchen. What do you think?
Okay – here goes nothing. Mommy found Miss Piggy’s fanmail address – way to go mom! I wrote my letter. She is mailing it today on the way home from work. Keep your hooves, paws and fingers crossed. I so hope that I get response back. This is what I wrote:
Dear Miss Piggy,
My name is Bacon Porkchop Thompson. I am a 10 month old miniature pot-bellied pig. My adopted mom adopted me when I was a mere 3 weeks old. I watch you on television all of the time. I feel such a connection to you! I think you are a Goddess. You have the most beautiful blue eyes – just like my adopted mom.
I’m like any other teenager except I have four hooves and a snout. I would love to decorate my room (yep, I have my own room) in pictures of you. Grin – is there anyway you can autograph this letter to me and send it back to me? Mom can frame it and put it beside my toddler bed. It would mean so much to me.
Oh, and if you ever have any down time, I write my own blog. I talk about you a lot – blush. My web address is piglove.wordpress.com
Hogs and Snout Kisses!
Bacon Porkchop Thompson