Open Apology to Mom

Okay all of us anipals here at the Hotel Thompson are writing this to mom as an open apology for our misbehavior this morning.  We apologize and will try very hard not to let it happen again.  Really.  We will.  So let us explain our behavior my friends.

First up.  Mom is not a morning person.  Not at all.  We are talking zombie before coffee – no coffee no talkie.  Well this morning, rolls piggy eyes and looks innocent, someone set the alarm to zero five hundred dark in the woods time to get up… something about trying to be the first to check in with cousin Sammy’s Tuesday Teaser. (And no I wasn’t first – darn it and shuffles hooves).  Well after I checked in, I went back to sleep in the big bed – see me here in the picture.  Mom was not amused.  She got up, went to the bathroom, mumbled about who in their right mind would change the alarm clock and then went back to bed for a few minutes.  Unfortunately that’s when she fell asleep and that’s bad.  Bad because today is a worky day and she has to go that worky place.  And the alarm clock already went off.  This is not good.

A couple of hours later, mom wakes up because Hemi is rolling around on her side.  That’s when she notices that it is awfully lit inside of the room.  She sits up and oh.my.gosh.it’s.a.run.for.your.money because it’s almost 8:00AM.  What the cream cheese?  What happened?  I know – I know – “someone set the alarm to zero five hundred dark in the woods time to get up”.  

She jumps out of bed, tells daddy she’s running late and starts the marathon.  But of course we are all standing there looking at her like, “Hey, remember us?”  You know that pitiful look of we have never eaten before and are starving – snorts.  And did you know there is a reason why we anipals get up in shifts in the morning for feeding.  You see, I need to eat first.  It’s just the way it is.  Once you satisfy my rumbling belly with my piggy chow and Cheerio’s, I’ll go back to sleep.  Then there is Houdini that gets fed.  If you don’t feed him by himself and watch, the purr things try to eat his food.  And then lastly, it’s the purr things.  We all like the purr things food – snorts. Try feeding us all at one time – snorts with piggy laughter.  Let’s just say that it didn’t go too well and mom still had not had any coffee.

And then there was the incident with the front room carpet mat near the entrance.  Someone was caught gnawing on it like it was a puppy treat – not mentioning any names little guy.  There’s now a hole in it and mommy might have blown a gasket because of that…. or maybe it was because I butted my head through the baby gate into the kitchen and ate some of the purr things food?… or maybe it was the purr thing Hemi chasing Houdini around the house knocking over the water dish?  I’m not really sure what exactly it was that threw mommy over the edge this morning but I think she sure was glad to go to the worky place this morning.  Sorry mom.

 

Diary of Dominance Training

 

You know how they say that pigs can be stubborn and ‘pig-headed’?  Well, that about sums me up.  I know – I’m trying.  I really am trying.  It’s like my alter ego, Deviled Ham, comes out at times when I least expect it.  Mom/Dad are not quitters and they are hanging in there.  Here’s the update on dominance training.

Tuesday, 04/29/2013 – Dominance training actually started this evening. It is something that I’m not used to.  Dad has said the “NO” word very firmly, very southern might I add – snort giggles.  It does make me stop in my hooves and rethink my surroundings before Deviled Ham shows up.  When I was on the couch with mom, dad came over several times to see me.  The first time, I went all pig ballistic on him.  He put me in my place with the southern firm “NO” and petted my little head.  After about the third attempt, I never grunted or barked and allowed dad to pet me.

Wednesday, 04/30/2013 – After my morning snack when I was going back to my room, Deviled Ham came out from no where and I jumped dad in the hallway.  Bad move.  The rest of the day, I was fine.  Again, when I was on the couch with mom, dad came over several times to see me.  The first time, I again barked and growled but not as bad as the night before.  The second time he came over, it was just a small grumble when he pet me.  After that, I never grunted or barked and allowed dad to pet me as long as he wanted.

Thursday, 5/1/2013 – Well, you know how they say the third time is the charm?  Snort – not so much in this case.  I lost my piggy mind tonight.  I was good all day long with dad.  I never gave him a moment’s trouble while it was me and him at the Hotel Thompson.  That night, daddy and mommy went out to dinner.  When they came back, my rebellious teenager Deviled Ham made an appearance.  I tried to attack daddy.  Mom thought it was those god forsaken orange shorts he wears because they were so bright – snort.  It wasn’t.  My hoove nipped him on the knee cap, not bad.  His southern “NO” really did nothing for me.  Mommy had to be the firm one.  Instead of minding her, what did I do?  Rebellious teenager Deviled Ham tried to go after her.  Drops and shakes my piggy head.  I was bad.  Mom sent me to my room which I minded.  No bedtime snack.  No bedtime story.  No night time snuggles.  Mommy said it hurt her more than it was hurting me.  I’m not so sure.  You see, this is the one thing that piggies have a hard time with – being ignored.  She ignored me the rest of the night.  That’s tough on this little guy. And, I think I made mommy cry.  I could hear her and daddy in their room.  Mommy wouldn’t even let Bashful sleep with me last night.  I was all by myself and had all night to rethink my rebellious ways.  It was a long night.

Friday, 5/2/2013 – This morning I got mommy up to get ready for the worky place and breakfast.  It was a new day with new ways.  Mommy fixed me breakfast and I just wagged my tail so fast when she was talking to me about last night.  We had our little prayer meeting and she put me back to bed for my morning nap.  Today, I am really, REALLY going to try to be good.  Wish me luck and think of me.  Mommy says that this weekend there will be lots of training.  I’m game.