Mommy Lost Her Mind

We had great plans here at the Hotel Thompson this past weekend.  They required lots of rest and relaxation and most of all being couch potatoes while watching endless mind wandering television shows.  You know shows that are not to mind provoking or where you have to figure out who did it.  Television shows that you just watch and laugh carefree without having to use that mind… endless mind shows is what we call them.  Things went well Saturday.  

Then Sunday the humans get up and turn on the television in the living room.  They hear a big BANG.  Mom looked over and the small cable box had popped and was smoking.  She immediately went over and pulled all of the cables out of the wall and television.  Okay, so maybe they watched too much television the day before?  Snorts with piggy laughter.

Mom gets on the phone to inquire about our cable store to see where and when they are opened today.  Guess what?  They were closed on Sunday.  What the cream cheese?  Really.   So Sunday was long, no television.  Do you know how old school that was.  I’m not sure who it killed more – mom/dad or us anipals.  I mean hey I can admit it.  I love my television.  So Sunday we did what we ‘use’ to do before television.  We talked.  We cooked.  We played games.  We rested together.  It was kind of awesome.

Then Monday, mom took the cable box to the store and explained what happened to it.  They said it had happened to others and they were doing away with that type of box.  What?  Are you serious?  Something like this has happened before and you didn’t recall these types of boxes?  What if mom/dad had not been home?  What if was just us anipals and this happened?  Amazing customer service to boot huh?

So mom gets a new box (see picture) and was told all you have to do is plug everything in and there you go it works.  Mom of course rolled her eyes and said sure.  That’s when the great customer service told her, “Well we can come out to do it but it will be $75.00 for the service call”.  Really?!  That’s highway robbery.  Mom took the box mumbling some choice pirate words on the way out of the store under her breath.

Mom gets home and opens the box.  How cute.  The box says, ‘”Let’s get started”.  Of course mom did what no man has ever done.  She read the 3 page instructions first.  Then, mom had to move the giant television out and pull bookshelf/table out from the wall.  This in itself about blew mom’s inner strength.  Huffing and puffing, she gets everything pulled out so she can get behind the television.  Now, I’m on the couch minding my own business and watching the circus start.  Hemi then jumps behind the television to check things out.  Houdini tries to get in on the action.  All the time, mom is brushing them out from behind her war zone.

Mom follows the 3 easy steps.  Plug in cable box in from cable line – √.  Plug in cable from cable box to television – √.  Plug in cord from cable box to wall outlet – √.  Simple right?  Then the final step.  Turn on the television and you should have cable.  Easy peasy.  Mom felt great.  She turned on the television.  Nothing.  Mom dropped the F word – fudgescicles.  Oh boy.  This is not good.  Mom doesn’t use that word.

That’s when dad made his first mistake.  “Is it plugged in?”  Insert more use of the F word.  Then dad made his second mistake.  “Is it plugged into the right holes?”  Insert more use of the F word.

Mom gets the house phone and calls the cable company for tech support.  She puts them on speaker so she can have hands free for doing whatever they tell her to do.  Now this is where America has went wrong.  She gets a customer service rep who is clearly outsourced somewhere other than the states.  She can barely understand him through his heavy accent but clearly him ask, “Is it plugged in?”  Really?  Now mom asks him in a very nice way could she talk to someone else who doesn’t have such a heavy accent.  Nothing wrong in that.  If you can’t understand someone, you are not going to get the help you need.  And, she wasn’t being mean.  Can you believe he was not so nice and
said a few words she couldn’t understand before transferring her.  What happened to customer service these days?

Phone gets transferred and picked up by another who immediately throws mom on hold.  Finally after 12 minutes, it is picked up again by another person with an accent .  But this time, mom can understand them more.  And of course the first thing they say, “Is it plugged in?”  Really?  Mom counted to 10 and said, “Yes.  I’m literate I can read instructions”.  Of course, the guy laughed so that eased mom down some.  Through the course of about 25 minutes, every thing was attempted.  Pings were sent to the box.  Programming was changed. New remote was set up.  Mom climbed behind the television.  She pulled lines.  She took everything out.  She put everything back the way it was.   She stood on one foot.  She touched her nose.  She prayed to the cable Gods.

After an hour of customer service (which I might add that this person was cool), we had cable.  Eureka!  Clearer and better sound quality cable.  Clearer and better sound quality than we ever had.  Of course mom lost her mommy mind but through an adult drink later in a sippy cup she found it.

Now, I know mom is not the only one that hates dealing with these things.  What about your mom?  If dad could, she would have so thrown it in his lap and said deal with it.  But we know she couldn’t.  And I guess this is better than waiting for the cable guy who never gets there on time and yes it saved us money because she did it… but, to what extent do you deal with things like this?  Do tell my friends to cheer mom up.

 

Shaking My Head

Okay friends my mom has lost her mommy mind.  You see she called daddy one day last week and said she wanted to do something.  Of course he told her what he thought and the conversation was done.  That night when she came home from work, daddy said if she wanted to do it – go for it.  Your life is short and you must life your life to the fullest.  Well mom did it.  Do you see what she did in this picture?  Now look closely and let me know if you find it.  You can click on the picture to see it bigger.

 

Rain, Rain and MORE Rain

 This is a picture that mom took the other morning coming out of the neighborhood of the Hotel Thompson.  Do you see all that rain?  On the sides of the street, falling from the sky and on the car?  I told mom she needed a boat not a Jeep to get to work – jeez!

And all of this rain… sighs.  It makes my deviled ham side come out to play.  I can admit that.  See, time of the year I kind of go into hibernation mode.  I don’t play as much.  I don’t eat as much.  And I sleep lots.  But the weather here in Georgia, it has me messed up.  It’s still hot – not cold like it should be in winter.  And ALL of this rain – OMP!  I’m getting cabin fever with the rain.

So deviled ham comes out.  Shivers – you don’t want to meet deviled ham.  He doesn’t know how to play nice.  He doesn’t have any manners.  He doesn’t mind mom/dad.  AND… he’s very destructive.  You won’t like me when I’m deviled ham.  Mom says she much prefers her sweet Bacon.

I found this picture on iFunny and had to share.  It says everything about our desperate situation right now of RAIN RAIN GO AWAY!

 

Numbers Are Our Friends

A lot of people look at math and numbers and screech out, “Eeww”!

My mom is different.  It runs in her family.  Her sister is the same way.  They like numbers.  They like math.  They do math problems to relax.  Weird aren’t they? To them dealing with math, is as easy as tying your shoes.  I don’t agree.  That’s why me and dad wear shoes that slip on or use velcro – snorts.  Also to me, dealing with math is like a dog working a yo-yo.  It just isn’t natural, right?

But I have something for you this morning that will blow your mind my friends.  I want you to get out a piece of paper and a pen and/or pencil.  Now, here’s the scary part – pay attention now.  I want you to write down exactly what I say below.  Okay?  I’ll help you out each step of the way.  I learned something while I was gazing at the calendar this morning and it was totally cool.

Write down the number of the month.  This is November so it would be 11.

Now write down the number of what day it is.  Today is the 12.

Now write down the two digit year.  13

What do you have for today when you write it out?  11/12/13

Neat huh?  Who said numbers can’t be fun?  Now go share 🙂

 

Daddy Piggy Love

After my bad behavior last night, my prayer meeting with mom and my time out, I had a long time to reflect on my evil ways. This behavior is totally unaccepted here

 at the Hotel Thompson. Going to bed early last night gave me plenty of time to think about my situation.

Bullying at the Hotel Thompson is totally against the rules. I had a momentarily lapse in sound judgment. Mom explained to me that dad was just trying to give me some loving. I explained to mom that me eating and the way dad was scratching me made me think he was trying to get me away from my food. He is after all the alpha male in this establishment. Bottom line, I lost my mind.

Things are fine now. Me and dad have made up. Just to proof it, mom caught this picture of us last night. Can’t you see the love in my face?

 

 

Sorry Dad

I was a bad piggy. I mean a really naughty piggy. Do you understand when I say a Deviled ham, lost my mind, had an out of body experience, went stupid for a moment kind of bad oinker?

Last night every thing was going just fine. Mom fed me my evening snack of an apple and I was eating it. Well, dad started scratching my hind quarters. I didn’t like it. Not the apple, the scratching. I turned around and went all ninja pig on poor unexpecting daddy.

It wasn’t just a bark or a snort. It was full ninja pig running up the side of the couch, biting dad shirt and pulling on it. I’m not really sure who was more surprised. Me, dad or mom.

We all kind of freaked out for a minute. Then mom jumped into action telling me no and to go to my room. I knew I was in trouble with the tone in moms voice. I felt like Kevin in the movie Home Alone when he gets sent to the third floor to sleep for time out. Mom was ticked.

I served time for my crime and then mom came to my room and we had a little prayer meeting. I went and apologized to daddy and made up with him. Afterwards, I got on the couch with mom for a few minutes for snuggles. Just enough snuggles to know that mommy loves me and was not mad at me.

Don’t think I got off that easily though. I had to go to bed early without a bed time story and without a carrot on my pillow. That bites.