Tag Archives: Miley Cyrus

Dear Miss Piggy

Dear Miss Piggy,

I am the right oinker for you.  I bet you didn’t know that Kermit was sighted out on the town having a big night without you.  He gave Miley Cyrus a run for her money – that’s for sure!  Any time you are willing to date and meet a real piggy that will worship your hooves, I’ll be waiting here for you my love.  Love, Bacon

P.S. I’m attaching the evidence picture of Kermit’s night out for your review.  What is he going to try next? Twerkin?  PLOL (Piggy laughing out loud).

P.S.S.  If he tries twerkin, I can beat him at that too.  I’ve been practicing.



Posted by on 01/22/2014 in Bacon


Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

What? Where Did *That* Come From?


 What the heck is that?!  You see yesterday, I was in my bedroom twerking and saw this in the mirror.  I’ve never seen it before.  Okay, I understand.  You can’t get past me twerking, huh?  Sigh, I’ll explain.  Me, Hemi and Mouse Girl were watching MTV on my television.  There was that girl from Hannah Montana who doesn’t claim fame to Hannah Montana anymore – you know the one that works the wrecking ball – snorts.  Well, she was twerking.  Me and Hemi were astonished.  What the heck is this?  Is this a new dance?  How can you move your hips like that? 

We noticed that Mouse Girl was quiet so we looked over at her.  I’ve never seen her move like that.  Mouse Girl has some definite moves for a Maine Coon purr thing.  She was giving the ole wrecking ball singer a run for her money.  Me and Hemi didn’t know if we should clap or throw money at her.  As soon as she saw as looking, she left my bedroom.  Personally, I think she was going somewhere else to practice.  Since she left though, me and Hemi closed my bedroom door.

We looked at each other and started watching television again.  Yes, we can admit it.  We tried this twerking thing again.  I was in front of my mirror shaking or rather trying to shake it.  Hemi had his front paws on the wall and he was getting pretty good at it.  I have to admit, these purr things are limber.  Me on the other hand, not so much.

I started looking in the mirror again and noticed these two marks near my back end.  I’ve never seen those before.  I grabbed my camera and took a picture.  What the heck are those things?  I walked over to Hemi to ask him if he had something similar.  He told me to look and I did.  OMP (Oh my pig)!  He has them too.  Have we been probed by aliens?  What are these markings?

We ran out of my bedroom to find daddy.  We showed him the strange hieroglyphics on our rear ends and asked him about them.  I’m still not sure what they are.  All daddy would do is this evil little laugh and he said quote, “Boys, you can’t miss what you didn’t know about.”  What?  What exactly does that mean?  Me and Hemi just looked at each other in confusion.  I jumped on the couch and tried to look at daddy’s back end but he wouldn’t budge.  I don’t get it.  Anyone?  Anyone have an explanation for us?


Posted by on 01/10/2014 in Bacon, Hemi and Mouse Girl


Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Dear Bacon


Dear Bacon,

You just know I have to go there.  Do you think my tongue is longer than Miley Cyrus’?  I do believe I can make a better video.  What do you think?  Signed Tonsil

Dear Tonsil,

YES!  and Y.E.S.!!  I do believe your tongue is longer and cuter than the girl masquerading as an entertainer.  AND, I do believe you could make a better AND cleaner video than of such.  I mean look at you now.  You are already wearing more clothes – snorts.



Dear Bacon,

I’m confused.  I’m mystified.  I’m just well don’t know.  What is it?  Is it a turtle?  Is it a dinoturtle?  Is it a form of a Mutant Ninja Turtle?  What the cat’s eye is it?  Signed Confucius

Dear Confucius,

It’s cute.  That’s what it is – snorticles.  Go with it and have some fun.  Put a leash on it and walk it for Halloween.



Dear Bacon,

What nut?  I don’t see a nut.  There are no nuts around here.  There’s nothing to see here.  Carry on.  Signed Dale

Dear Dale,

No nuts huh?  Well you might want to get that overly enlarged cheek looked at by your doctor.  PLOL (pig laughing out loud)



Dear Bacon,

Sometimes you just have to find a friend that cares about you and your well being when out in nature.  Someone that you can curl up to and take a sleep and know that no one is going to bother you while you are doing so.  This is my buddy Pete.  He’s my pal.  You need to find you a Pete too when you go outside.  Signed Bun

Dear Bun,

Awww – that is so adorable my friend.  I’ll start looking for one now.



Dear Bacon,

This is my friend Scratch.  He is blind.  I’m officially his seeing eye cat.  You don’t see this everyday, do you?  It just goes to show you that anyone can help someone out.  I’ve heard about your humans vision problems.  Why don’t you become his seeing eye pig?  It would be awesome!  Signed Felix

Dear Felix,

You know you do have a point my friend.  That is fantastic.  I think I’ll try to start today.  Thanks for the heads up.  Continue on doing a great deed!


**Remember friends – send your pictures and questions to me at



Posted by on 10/29/2013 in Dear Bacon


Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,