Dear Bacon

Dear Panchetta,
I am an artist!  Do not think twice of me on my drinking.  It inspires my inner soul.  I would like to paint you – all of you since you are a plus size piggy.  Would you pose for me?  Signed Raphael Chickatello

Dear Raphael Chickatello,

WOW – I am honored… I think.  I really don’t think that I am old enough to pose in any of your paintings.  I think you should move on to maybe cows.  That’s it – cows.  I think cows should be your muse.  They are so much more to work with than just me… a little pig.  Carry on my friend and paint to your hearts content.

 

---

Dear Bacon,
Insert spy music.  The humans think they are so smart in putting out these ‘traps’.  They hurt!  But never fear, this is how we really get the cheese without setting them off.  Now you know our secrets!  Signed Top Mouse

Dear Top Mouse,

I love that move!  I wonder if there is enough wire to suspend me over something delicious.  It looks like a hoot!  You definitely have the moves my friend.  Keep it up my secret friend!

---

Dear Bacon,
I read about you watching television all of the time. I love to watch my shows too – especially the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. They fascinate me for some reason. Do you like them? Signed Raffie

Dear Raffie,
I just can’t understand why you would like the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. . I mean really, they’re turtles. It blows my mind to figure that one out. And yes, I do like to watch the show as well my friend.

 

---

Dear Bacon,

Just the facts little guy.  Nothing but the facts.  We’ve been watching too many repeats of the movies Men in Black.  Don’t ask me which is which.  We just like to dress like Kay and Jay.  You know, just for fun and giggles.  The neighborhood doesn’t know how to act when we roll into it – bark.  What do you think?  Do you like to dress up like any of your favorite guys?  Signed Kay/Jay

Dear Kay and Jay,

Oh dudes – I love the look!  That is so neat.  I’ve seen those movies and ya’ll kind of look just like the two.  I think it’s the ties and sunglasses.  I would love to roam around in my costume too.  I secretly want to be a piggy super hero.  I keep asking mom to make me a cape.  I know with a cape, this little piggy would have special powers and be able to fly.  Stay cool barky things!

---

❤ Remember friends – Dear Bacon can’t happen without YOU.  Please continue to email me your letters/pictures ❤

 

Dear Bacon

Dear Bacon,

My human thought she would bring me to work today.  As you can tell, neither one of us got a lot of work done.  Well, my mom didn’t.  I did because her desk was the most frequented visited cubicle that day.  I wonder why?  Signed Shrimp

Dear Shrimp,

Smiles and wipes piggy eyes.  Aren’t you just the most adorable, cutest little thing I’ve seen in a while.  I just want to rub that little belly of yours.  You must have really been tired little guy.  Maybe you should do more visits to work with mommy.  I think in no time you would have all of her co-workers wrapped around your little paws!

.

Dear Bacon,

I know we are suppose to be enemies but we’re not.  We are buds.  He watches my back and I watch his.  We have the most interesting conversations at our house.  Why can’t we all just get along in the world like us?  Signed Tom and Jerry

Dear Tom and Jerry,

Ya’ll have a great point.  We *should* all just get along in this world.  There shouldn’t be anything saying that we can’t because of one thing or another.  Ya’ll are setting the best example – keep up the great work my friends!

.

Dear Bacon,

I was this close to freedom before they caught me and put me back in lockdown.  I could taste freedom and it tasted pretty darn good.  Any suggestions for next time?  Signed Stretch

Dear Stretch,

I have to laugh buddy.  They say your kind is slow and not full of spunk but I think *they* are wrong.  You show the tenacity in making the ‘great escape’.  You were so close – how you got that far up on the fence is beyond me but way to go my friend.  Next time though, might I suggest just watching out for the gate to open.  It might be a safer way for your taste of freedom.

.

Dear Bacon,

What?  Haven’t you ever seen a bird wearing a hoodie before?  It gets cold.  I don’t have a ‘fur coat’ like you do.  My feathers only provide so much for warmth.  I think it’s a great idea.  We should all have one, you think?  Signed Fun Times

Dear Fun Times,

I think it’s great!  You look warm, festive and ready to go meet the world in that hoodie.  I say don’t worry about what anyone else might think.  As long as you are warm and comfy, who cares!

.

Dear Bacon,

I need help.  I know you have Bashful.  Bashful is like a happening international traveling pet rock.  My owner, he just keeps me in a cage and feeds me.  I don’t get that life of first class traveling or anything.  Any suggestions- can you help me out?  Signed Bug

Dear Bug,

I am so sorry little guy.  Your owner must not have gotten the parenting guide like I did with Bashful.  You have to have exercise.  Your owner needs to walk you or at least put a hamster wheel in your cage for exercise.  Does he take you out for social time, watching television?  Heck, if anything else, you need a friend.  You give him my number, I’ll email it back to you.  I’ll talk to him and see what we can come up with my friend.

.

Remember Anipals – if you have a problem or a question, please send it to me with a picture at baconthompson@gmail.com

 

Dear Bacon

Dear Bacon,

Sometimes life is so overwhelming that I just don’t know what to do.  It’s so stressful.  I just have to sit down and it weighs on my shoulders.  Any tips for me?  Signed Heavy Thoughts

Dear Heavy Thoughts,

If any of my friends have taught me anything it’s that sometimes we have to stop and smell the roses.  Life is not as bad as what you think.  Think of the positive things in life and how much you have going for you.  It seems like you’re overlooking the ocean in your picture.  That in itself can be very relaxing and have a calming effect on oneself.  And you know a good chuckle solves a lot of problems.  You can never take yourself too serious.  Focus on those thoughts for a while my friend and keep your trunk up.  You have a lot to bring to the party!  

 

Dear Bacon,

Hee-hee I’m eating your strawberry.  How you like that?  HA HA Signed Tortoise

Dear Tortoise,

What’s that?  I couldn’t hear you through eating through this basket of strawberries that my mom got me.  That’s right – I said basket.  Hope you enjoy your ONE strawberry my friend.  Snort – Love you!

 

Dear Bacon,

Mommy said that if I eat my vegetables I will grow up to be strong just like you.  Is she right?  Signed Tiny

Dear Tiny,

Your mom is 100% correct.  Eating vegetables make you strong.  Now eat up that corn and broccoli I see and become a member of the clean plate club.  Make mommy proud and grow up to be nice and strong!

 

Dear Bacon,

Sometimes it takes a friends to help you out in meeting that future Mrs. Right.  I saw this gorgeous lady and had to get her attention some how that she would remember me.  I got my bro to help me out with an outstretched arm.  What do you think – did I make an impression to last?  Signed Romeo

Dear Romeo,

I gave this picture and letter the test and showed it to mom.  She got all teary eyed – you passed with flying colors.  She said that it was the sweetest thing she has seen in a while.  You should have made a huge impression on your lady friend.  Give her a call and ask her out for brunch now to get to know her.  If ya’ll get engaged, drop us a line to let us know.

 

Dear Bacon,

Yep, it’s me the Hemi… your purr thing at the Hotel Thompson.  I know you talk about me and the paw that hits your hiney at times.  I thought I would show your friends the size of my hand.  Maybe then they will understand why you cry like a little girl when I do it.  Meow – Master Hemi

Dear Master Hemi,

Stay away from my computer and room.  After my loyal followers see the size of that paw, they will then know what a little bully you are – snort.

 

Dear Bacon

Dear Bacon,

Why do the humans *insist* on buying these little creatures to ‘entertain’ me? They are not entertainment. They are trespassers in my home. What to do? Signed Friendly Feline

Dear Friendly Feline,

“Most” of us enjoy those little toys of delight. I myself even like playing with the purr toys here – don’t tell anyone. Just our little secret okay. Try it – you might like it. Throw that thing around a bit, give it heck.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Dear Bacon,

Do you think my ears are too big for my little body? Signed Did You Hear That?

Dear Did You Hear That?

Of course not little guy – you’re still little. You’re going to grow into them. I think you’re fine! Don’t let others bring you down. Love what you got my friend. But hey, if you want a trade. I’ll give you my pot belly for them? Whatdayou think? Snort –

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Dear Bacon,

You’ve probably heard me outside your window playing in nature in the woods. I play for nuts – you have to look at your retirement and hide those things away for the future. Happy songs! Signed Jammin’ Squrriel

Dear Jammin’ Squirrel,

That’s you I’ve heard in the woods behind the house? Play on little man – play on. Awesome sounds you are putting out in nature. I’ll tell mom to throw some extra food out the back door for you.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Dear Bacon,

I’m the fairy bunny in nature. I pass along all of the pollen that makes the humans go sneeze. Don’t you love my wings? Signed Fairy Bunny

Dear Fairy Bunny,

Stop it! See, this is why I don’t go out in nature. Can you at least cut back a little on the pollen? Mommy is going crazy with the sneezes!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Dear Bacon,

I read that you get questions all of the time about big ears, big behinney’s, big tum-tums – BUT have you ever gotten one about big feet? Do you think mine are too big? Signed Rabbitsasquatch

Dear Rabbitsasquatch,

Compared to other rabbits, nah – you have perfect feet to stomp out those forest fires… I mean to hop everywhere – PLOL. Really, all joking aside. You have perfect feet. Hey pssttt – can you do me a favor? Can you find that bunny fairy that passes out the pollen and you use those feet for me? Smile – please. HA HA HA

 

Dear Bacon –

Dear Bacon,
Spiders eeww.  Nobody likes them man.  I’m sorry little dude.  I saw one on the floor.  It was huge.  There was no other place to go.  The evil thing was in the doorway threatening my manhood.  I jumped on the first thing I could to get away from it.  Sink be it.  This is how my master found me.  This doesn’t make me less of a dog does it?  My fear of spiders?  Signed Sweetness

Dear Sweetness,

Well, it might take you down a couple of notches.  You’re name my take you down a few more.  You are my fellow friend are a dog.  A big dog at that.  You could have easily walked over that little spider and saved you some grace.  Unless that spider is as big as you, you are the bigger person.  Start dogging up. 

 

————————————————————————————————————————————————

Dear Bacon,
Hey dude.  I read your blog all of the time.  I see people talking about yoga and I’ve seen some of the positions.  I gotta lot of stress in my life.  I thought I would try it.  WOW – it works great!  This is my zen trunk position.  It took me a long time to get the balancing together but it’s great now.  Have you tried it yet??  Signed Stingphant

Dear Stingphant,

That’s amazing!  I’m going to have to try some of these positions in my room when no one is looking, especially that Hemi.  It helps out in stress huh?  I really don’t have that much stress but I think over the holidays I’m going to try it.  I’ll keep you posted.

 

 

———————————————————————————————————————————————-

Dear Bacon,
Who says zebras can’t be fast?  I’m tired of being the underzebra in the bush getting chased all of the time. I bought me a bike and it is the bomb!  Those pesky little cats can’t catch me anymore.  Whatcha think?  Signed Einstein

Dear Einstein,

I’m amazed!  First of all, you have the talent to ride a bike.  Second of all, I would have never thought about doing that to escape the cat.  But I do have a question.  How are you going to feel that thing up with gas when it runs out?  Just a thought to think about.  Stay safe my striped friend!

—————————————————————————————————————————————————

Dear Bacon,
I love the water.  I just can’t get enough of it.  My favorite sport is water skiing.  Everyone said that due to my size that I would never be able to participate.  Well, I proofed them wrong.  Don’t let anyone say that you can’t do something.  You can.  Signed Geoffrey

Dear Geoffrey,

I’ve got to admit that if you can do that, I can do some of the things that I want to do in my life.  There’s nothing that can hold us back.  Thank you so much for the inspiration!

————————————————————————————————————————————————-

Okay pig –

You think *you* have problems with those pesky purr things.  I have problems.  My master has pet mice.  You know where I’m going.  You can’t eat the pets.  But this, this is taking things a little too far and asking me too much.  What am I to do?  Signed Heathcliff

Dear Heathcliff,

WOW – mom does walk around telling me not to eat the cats.  I don’t.  I may tug on their tails a little but it’s all out of love.  But mice hanging around the head.  Oh buddy, there’s got to be a line somewhere and that’s pushing it.  You might need to leave the room when the master has those play things out wondering around.  I can hold back a lot but that – no way!  Be strong!