Houdini Has Done It Now

Some of you may remember that Houdini goes regularly to the spa.  Several months ago when mom picked him up, he was nose to nose with a cute little poodle.  Mom got a phone call early last week from the spa stating that one of their customers needed to talk to Houdini’s mom.  The spa wouldn’t give them mom’s number – thank goodness – but offered to relay that message.  Mom was curious as to what was going on but called the lady.  Come to find out, it was the poodle’s mom.  She wanted to meet mom for coffee this morning to talk about a play date with Pippy (the poodle) and Houdini.  So mom/dad made arrangements to meet this morning at a local park.

Mom, dad and Houdini got to the park this morning.  Then Pippy and her mom pulled up.  As they were getting out of their car, Pippy’s mom had a box in her hands.  When they got close enough to mom/dad, they could see the box was moving.  Pippy’s mom put the box on the picnic table and mom/dad could see what was in it.  OMP!!  There was puppies in that box.  Not just any puppies.  They look liked small poodle mixed Yorkie puppies.  What the cream cheese?!  Pippy’s mom said they belonged to Houdini.  No way!  Mom said Houdini had been fixed and there was no way.  Pippy’s mom said it had to be Houdini.  Apparently Houdini and Pippy got a little romantic at the spa several months ago.  No way in pig heavens!

Well we were all shocked.  I mean who would have ever dreamed of this?  There was four cute little puppies.  Pippy’s mom wanted my mom/dad to split the litter and even offered to pay for the puppy DNA to prove that Houdini was the father.  Of course dad was laughing and said that this needed to go on the Maury Povich show for sure – LOL.  Mom gave him a look like this is *not* the time.  So there you go.  We have puppies here at the Hotel Thompson.  Pictures will follow in a couple of hours once mom gets everyone settled.

 

Dear Bacon

Dear Bacon,

I have the subject locked and loaded. It’s just a matter of seconds now before this powerful machine takes off, leaps and catches his prey. I have the skills of a ninja. I’m silent and deadly. You’ll never see me coming. Do you have this kind of talent pig? Signed Sniper One

Dear Sniper One,

I’m shaking here at the Hotel Thompson in my hooves. WOW – that is some talent you have there. I’m amazed. I’m almost speechless. What was your prey? A fly? Oh I know… a piece of dust? Snorts. I don’t need to have ninja skills, or be silent to be deadly. I just need cuteness. Insert evil deviled ham snort. Carry on my friend.

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Dear Bacon,

I think my wife has some explaining to do. You see we got married, I had to leave for some business. I came home and there was our “baby”. I think the baby *looks* like us but is not us in some way, fashion or form. I don’t think it’s his coloring – that matches. I don’t think it’s that cute little nose – that matches. I can’t put my paw on it but I don’t think he’s mine. I think I may need to call Maury Povich for a DNA analysis. You think? Signed Mr. Rabbit

Dear Mr. Rabbit,

All that matters is love my friend. So he’s different, so what? I’m different than my mommy and daddy too. Doesn’t mean they don’t love me just the same. What’s done is done. That’s why the past is in the past. Just because something doesn’t look like us doesn’t mean we can’t love them with all of our heart.

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Dear Bacon,

They say that grass is greener on the other side of the fence. I tried to see. I got stuck. Awesome huh – NOT. I don’t get it. I’m an alligator. I’m stuck half way up a fence. A human sees me. What do they do? You would think help but no – let’s pull out that camera phone and take a picture of the gator stuck on the fence. Dude, if I was off this fence, I’d show them where to put that camera phone. Signed Stuck in Mid Flight

Dear Stuck in Mid Flight,

Snorticles. Really dude… I’m not snorting *at* you. I’m snorting at the situation. Let’s look at this for just a tiny minute. You said quote, “If I was off this fence, I’d show them where to put that camera phone.” That’s rich. That’s probably WHY they didn’t help you out. They were simply afraid of you. I know – I know. You can’t really blame them. They don’t see you as the cuddly, loveable snuggable type. They see teeth, nails, teeth, long tail, teeth and massive power strength. Shrugs piggy shoulders. That’s how it is dude. I do hope you got off the fence. I’m sure eventually someone did help, right? Stay strong my anipal.

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Dear Bacon,

I’ve been holding back in writing to you but I have this huge mystery. See, my human took this picture of me back when it was Winter. I saw this cute poodle in the hood. I went up to say hey, but she didn’t *smell* like a regular pooch? It was weird. What do you think? Have you ever seen this chick before? Signed Pugalicious

Dear Pugalicious,

Step back from the poodle my friend. I’m sorry to be the one to tell you this but that poodle is nothing but cold and made of ice – snorts. Really. She’s snow my friend. You know that white stuff that falls from the sky during Winter. Some human made a poodle chick to fool you. She is kind of cute though. Look at the tail on her – hubba hubba.

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Dear Bacon,

It’s love. Simple as that. We have found our significant other and we are in love. We have read on your blog in the past about when two half hearts find each other and they melt together forming one it’s meant to be. We looked in each others eyes and it was like we knew all about each other and felt so at home. What can we say? Signed Two Kids in Love

Dear Two Kids in Love,

aaww – That picture tells me *everything* I need to know. You two were MADE for each other in every way possible. Carry on and live long!

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Remember to send your questions/pictures to me at baconthompson@gmail.com

*YOU* make my weekly Dear Bacon issues – thank you my friends!

 

 

Dear Bacon

Dear Bacon,
You think you have it bad at your house with time out.  HA – you have nothing on our mom.  When we are bad and not getting along, instead of standing in a corner she makes us stand nose to nose until we can get along.  It’s the pits little dude.  Signed Trouble Times Two

Dear Trouble Times Two,
You won’t be upset if I don’t show mommy this letter.  There’s no way I’m standing nose to nose with Mouse Girl the purr thing here.  Eeww – she’s a girl!

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Dear Bacon,
I read about your ancestry with football.  Just be thankful that your dad just tells you stories.  My human loves that football team called Alabama.  And their mascot just happens to be an elephant.  So on game day, guess what my human does to me?  You guessed it.  It’s so humiliating. Signed Little Al

Dear Little Al,
I am so sorry my friend.  You’re dad likes Alabama?  There are just no words that I can express for that. I guess someone has to like that team. Bless his little ole heart.

P.S. Cute costume.

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Dear Bacon,
Can you touch your nose with your tongue?  I’ve been trying for weeks and I just can’t reach it but I’m determined. Signed Stretch

Dear Stretch,
Oh thank goodness.  For a minute there, I thought you were sticking your tongue out at me.  I have a little bit longer tongue and it is close to my snout.  I’m going to have to practice this tonight in the mirror.  I’ll keep you posted my friend!

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Dear Bacon,
I had to get new glasses.  My vision is just not what it used to be.  Do you think these glasses make my head look big?  Signed Who Four Eyes

Dear Who Four Eyes,
No my friend.  Shaking piggy head.  They do not make your head look big at all.  Your head looks just fine.  Don’t give a hoot on what other people think.  Your vision comes first, yes indeedy.  If anything, I think those glasses bring your eyes out more.  They’re hootiful!

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Dear Bacon,
I’m thinking about going on Maury Povich and having my so called son’s DNA checked out.  My wife well I just don’t think she’s been faithful.  What do you think my friend?  Signed Cloned

Dear Cloned,
Listen, I can save you a lot of time, money and energy.  The DNA test results are in and they are saying that you are 99.9% that babies daddy.  Just look in a mirror my friend.  There’s really no way it can lie.  Embrace your parent hood.

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Remember friends – keep your pictures and questions coming to me at Baconthompson@gmail.com

Thanks for another great week!