RSS

Tag Archives: massages

Dear Bacon

20140330-183817.jpg

Dear Bacon – Listen the water is fine my four legged pot bellied piggy.  Why don’t you come for a swim with me.  I’ll even teach you how to swim under the water.  I’m sure you will catch on fast.  What do you think?  Signed Mr. Friendly

Dear Mr. Friendly – Not that I don’t appreciate your well… friendness but I think I’ll pass.  For some reason, I think it’s better for this little oinker to stay on dry land, far away from the water and far, far away from your swimming lessons. Call it a premonition if you will.  But, carry on my friend and thank you… really.


20140330-183833.jpgDear Bacon – I see you – purr snicker.  I have my eyes on your activities good or bad.  I’m reporting back to that Evil Elf of yours Don Juan.  You just wait.  You’re going to get it when he comes out in November.  Signed The Watcher

Dear The Watcher – Really?!  It’s not bad enough that I have rogue elf that watches my every move, you’re going to as well?  Rolls piggy eyes and walks away.  This is so not fair in this oinker’s life.  Can’t we all just get along?  Snorts


 

20140330-183825.jpgDear Bacon – The nerve of our family vet.  Can you believe that (A) they had the nerve to come near my captains quarters with that proby thing and (B) they told my humans that *I* needed to go on a DIET?!  What in the world was he thinking?  Don’t my humans pay for his sound advice?  What kind of crap advice is this?  I think the look on my face tells you everything I think.  Signed Tiny

Dear Tiny – Oh dear.  That proby thing is awful.  It must be a torture device from centuries long ago.  Yep, that’s what I think.  And that look on your face.  Oh my.  You are certainly not happy.  And well… looks down at my pot belly.  I am one NOT to give any advice to you on that four lettered dirty word – D.I.E.T.  Shakes head – nope.  Not the one to do that at all my friend.


20140330-183858.jpg

Dear Bacon – I double kitty dare you to try this maneuver.  Heck, I triple meow dare you.  I dare you to put your back legs up over your head.  In fact if you can do this position, I will personally come over every day and give you a piggy massage – heck I’ll even clean up your room for you.  Signed Fear Factor Feline

Dear Fear Factor Feline – Really?!  That’s okay my furry friend.  That’s what I have my mommy for – massages and cleaning – snorts.  Let’s hope that cannon of yours doesn’t go off while you are bent legs over head.


 

20140330-183847.jpgDear Bacon – I hate it when I get into trouble here at my casa.  Can you believe that my humans make me face the couch and sit here in time out?  It’s so humiliating.  Signed Unhappy Pooch

Dear Unhappy Pooch – WOW my friend.  That is some look you have there facing your tomb of doom.  It’s just not right.  And to put you in this time out right in the middle of the living room where you can hear and see all of the fun activities going on around you.  Shakes piggy head and clicks tongue.  Nope, just not right.  I’m sorry pal.  Maybe when you come out of serving your time, you just ignore those humans.  Show them who is getting timeout there.  Don’t give them any affection.  None whatsoever… can you last like what five seconds?  Hang in there my bud!

 
14 Comments

Posted by on 06/06/2017 in Bacon, Dear Bacon

 

Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

I Want My Mommy Kind of Day

20130121-194701.jpg

Yesterday was a holiday and thank goodness my mommy was home. I was feeling a bit blah, you know a little under the weather. I stayed close to mommy all day. As long as she was beside me or in eye distance, I was good.  If she wasn’t, I cried for her and went looking for my mommy.  I was very needy.

I’m not sure if it was a cold front coming in or what. Weather changes do make me feel kind of icky. When it gets really, REALLY cold, I just want to ‘hibernate’ and sleep.  This was kind of different though.  I couldn’t put my snout on it.  I just knew I felt icky.  Whatever it was, I didn’t feel good and mommy knew it.

Of course it wasn’t anything that would stop me from eating. It takes a lot to get between me and my food. Figure that huh? I just felt icky enough to stay close to mom, stay cuddly and warm and be loved on all day. Something like this picture.

20130121-195046.jpg

Mommy fixed me a little bed on the couch right beside her. She would pet me and talk quietly to me throughout the day. She even called me my pet name… don’t tell anyone okay.  Ssshhh – she likes to call me “Pookie”.  I’m not sure why but it was cute so I let her do it.

She even gave me one of her famous piggy massages. They feel so wonderful! Especially when she uses my baby lotion, massages all of my fat rolls and then wraps me in my bankie for cuddles.  AAAAWWW – that’s the best!

I was all about mommy. Daddy came over and tried to comfort me. It’s not that I don’t appreciate it from daddy but I just wanted my mommy. I knew that she would make me all better.

Mommy went back to work today. She left strict instructions with daddy to take care of me. I know he will and I’ll be all over daddy since mommy is not here. You know how that works.

Hope everyone had a wonderfully long weekend. Hogs and Kisses – Bacon

 
6 Comments

Posted by on 01/22/2013 in Uncategorized

 

Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,